View Full Version : Liver lesion, h pilory, and severe panic attacks
I have spent this whole year in daily panic over having some type of cancer. Actually at least few months due to microhematuria in urine (after many tests, they said its just my "normal"). Next for 6 months, I was sure I have throat cancer, as my lingual tonsil is enlarged. I visited at least 6 doctors for the first issue, and at least 8 for the second. And yes, everyday I was sure they have missed "my cancer".
Fast forward to experiencing mild discomfort under left ribcage, which brought me to ER. My left side pain was not explained in the ER, but they found "incidental" liver lesion. Speedy referral to liver specific Ct scan in UCLA and I basically said good bye to my 5 year old. During the scan I had constant severe panic attacks, so they had to restrain me. I was sure its cancer, of course.
One of the best liver radiologists in UCLA read my Ct scan to be either FNH or adenoma (both benign). These lesions are followed by monitoring as there is less than 1% chance that they misdiagnosed it, so I have an MRI scan on Dec3.
Once I got into this, I started to feel sick, not able to get out of bed, having low grade fevers, etc.
Tests indicated that I have h pylori. Got very string antibiotics, and I have finished them 2 weeks ago.
From there, I have visited 5 gastrologists, 6 general practitioners, and two additional Emergency rooms. My symptoms are pressure in the epigastric region, feeling sick, mildly nauseous, and lost some weight.
Basically doctors tell me the liver thing is 100% benign, I might have mild gastritis, OR nothing, and its all in my head.My liver enzymes are normal, everything is normal, and they just don't suspect cancer. My last gastro guy told me "I know you don't have cancer, but I am not sure how to convince you".
I don't know what to do...I am in constant panic, absolutely sure that all these 20 medical practitioners are missing something.
I know its not all in my head, as I do have active h pilory infection. But my brain goes to medical sites, learns how to read Ct scans, reads medical studies how there are few cases of liver cancer that was missed on CT scan, or maybe I have stomach cancer? Or esophagus cancer?
Can anxiety be super severe and cause you to feel sick for real? Hard to believe
I tried to ask my medical dr to refer me to psychologist, and she did, but the wait is 2 months, AND because I LOOK so normal...she nicely suggested "why don't you just do the MRI and endocsopy if it will give you mental relief"...and here we go again...more tests, no help.
With respect, this sounds like a very severe case of health anxiety. We're all guilty of excessive test-searching/doctor-visiting, but that is A LOT of times you have visited various clinicians.
Helicobacter pylori (H. Pylori) infection is common. Treatment is usually a PPI (Omeprazole) and a macrolide antibiotic such as Clarithromycin etc.
With respect of your stomach issues, I can't see in your post if you're on a PPI. You should ask your Doctor for a rx.
Antibiotics can also cause gastric upset, so the symptoms relating to your GI tract could be a protracted effect.
Gastritis (benign) can also cause your symptoms.
I really don't think you have ANYTHING to worry about, as countless doctors have told you...
Good luck.
Right, I understand. If I didn't have a LIVER lesion, I would probably not get so worked up. But you see, liver met or liver cancer...is like the end. And sometimes this thing can push a stomach, or cause digestive issues. So i guess I became so severe because the alternative problem is very severe. There is no fighting chance. there is no chemo, etc...
Needless to say i completely understand that i have severe health anxiety...plus some symptoms that are probably benign.
But how do you deal with the panic?
When "normal" people read heir CT scan, and it says "favoring benign process", do they not get scared at all? I contacted the radiologist and she kept saying things like "it looks more in line with benign process. Your best next step is an MRI, and if that is not conclusive, a biopsy"
Gosh...so the fact that she is using words like "conclusive" or "favoring"...are making me sick to my stomach
PS. I am off the PPI as I need to retest for h pilory in 2 weeks. I do not think PPI has helped me as I had the same squeezing gastric pressure even when I was on them during the treatment. I have no improved at all...
AMomentofClarity
21-11-18, 21:15
But how do you deal with the panic?
Medication + Therapy.
While waiting for a psychiatrist, why not discuss medication with one of your numerous physicians and get time with a therapist?
I did. As I said, every dr treats me "normally" because I am intelligent and I can mask my problem. I joke about it...you know. I sound so damn convincing I guess. And I have great medical insurance so tests are getting ordered.
I know I am in very black hole currently, because I can't work, and I can't take care of my kid. Yet I go to a dr, smile, joke and sound funny...and he tells me...Oh just get a vacation...or do your MRI sooner
My family doctor basically said I am too functional.
AMomentofClarity
21-11-18, 21:41
My family doctor basically said I am too functional.
You’re either full of it or need a new doctor. When I was at my worst, I was high functioning in a good corporate job, yet my mind was a mess. One visit to my doctor, told him all of my health fears, walked out with a prescription for an SSRI. A few sessions of therapy and a few months later, I was myself again.
This stuff is only as complicated as you make it.
Got it. Well I am probably not honest enough OR because I read so much about symptoms, I sound convincing. Or maybe they just act polite and gossip behind my back...who knows. I do know that my parents are devastated, my husband is angry, and I will lose my job any minute.
I get into a dr every few days for reassurance, then it resets within 48 hours. The classic.
I also tried my own exposure therapy...visiting cancer centers...to get used to the cancer thing. It only brought me more and more severe panic attacks. What a sad life...
In any case, I took your note and called my insurance and begged for someone to see me so I will be at a psychiatrist office on Nov 28.
Thank you. I know how annoying is to read "crazy" posts as sometime I myself will be like...seriously...this person's worry is totally ridiculous.
julieta79
If there was a tumour in your liver big enough to cause a shift, to subsequently cause reflux, you'd be able to feel your own liver, jaundice and so unwell you wouldn't even notice the GORD.
Yes I know there are stories online, with sensationalist headlines like (we'll use your example) "my reflux turned out to be terminal liver cancer!". But what those stories don't mention is the person often would have other symptoms, much more obvious and worrying, besides the reflux.
I personally have never heard of a patient with a liver tumour (either primary to the liver, or secondary) present with reflux as the only symptom. And, professionally, I'm based in a Cancer Centre which has a large patient throughput every year.
You definitely, absolutely, 100% need to see your doctor with regards to therapy and medication. I say that out of compassion and not criticism.
I myself was being equally illogical and obsessive over a mole about two months ago. So I knew that was time to arrange CBT.
We all need to enjoy life more
Thank you. I don't get offended whatsoever. I am very aware that I have severe mental problem. It all started when prenatally I tested positive for cystic fibrosis gene, my husband was tested for 1000+mutations, and he was clean. But I obsessed a bit, and then forgot...
Baby was born...and we get a letter in the mail...your child tested positive for cystic fibrosis. Wtf! Turns out there are some mild genes that they don't test prenatally, so that you don't abort your kid...my kid is 6, and fine...but we are still sitting on time bomb there.
Next for 2 years I suspected something is off with his development. We went to at least 20 doctors. At age 3, my husband almost divorced me because he was so sure I am crazy...the kid turned 4, and diagnosed with Aspergers. He is so high functioning that no one could get it early on. Now I see that because he is so smart, it didn't really matter if he can meet some diagnosis, as he is doing just fine...but it was traumatic to have a horrible fear and then all drs were wrong.
From there, I have worried about every horrible disease on the planet, always wrong. Bruise=leukemia. Dizzy=MRI scan...you get it. Very very severe form.
My lesion is 1.9cm. I saw the CT scan and I learned how to read it. My lesion had hyperenhacement but no washout. Because it is small, they did not find a scar, which would give 100% confidence that is it FNH.
Most mets are hypoenhancing, not hyper. And most liver cancer has washout.
The reason I post this is mostly to show my own brain how BAD my condition really is. I bet even the most sophisticated hypochondriacs didn't learn how to read CT scans with such precise detail and calculate the odds ( only 5% of liver cancer happens in healthy liver, only 1% of that is in females, and only 1% of that 1% does not have washout on CT scans) :(
It will be the best day of my life...if I have one full day free of these horrible thoughts.
PS. I don't have reflux. I have gastric pressure, sometimes hard to breath type. I have some mild temperature elevations...up to 99.5 in the pm. And a general feeling of being sick. All these can be "h pilory"...but it would have been nice not to have them while dealing with liver lesion
It sounds like you have had some unfortunate surprises with your child's health. I'm glad you were able to get into the psychiatrist sooner. Have you considered getting some counseling specifically directed at your reactions to your child's diagnosis? I'm wondering how much your anxiety over that is generalizing out into anxiety over your own health.
I do odds, but I draw the line at reading my own imaging. I avoid seeing them for that very reason. In fact, I have an arrangement with my doctor to not see any of my labs. If there's a problem, tell me, otherwise I don't want to know and end up over analyzing what is low normal, or low high.
Thank you. Thats a BS too. It made my condition worse, but I was always obsessive. I had MRI for diziness before he was born. And I was obsessed with getting only As in college, causing daily panic attacks.
So I basically discovered the world of health anxiety...due to my kid...but I always belonged somewhere in the mental health community.
Hi
I have a liver lesion that was diagnosed incidentally when I went for a scan for gallstones. That was Oct 2010. This kicked of my ha so I totally get what are you saying about the panic.
At the time they also told me it was more than likely benign but the same I you I started looking things up and reading horror stories. I also had gastritis. I had mri and was told benign. Then had follow up 6 months later. Then it was 1.5cm. I was then discharged.
Fast forward to last year and I had a gallstones scan again. I was worried because I knew the liver lesion would be seen. It had actually grown to 6cm in the 7 years. Consultants were not concerned but ordered another mri to compare the one form 7 years ago. They told me benign. But to be 100percent scans were sent to specialist liver unit in another part of the country and they also came back and confirmed benign. They still don’t to this day have a name for it other than it is benign.
I have no problems from it, I wouldn’t know it was there even though it’s grown. It’s easy for me to say this but they know their stuff and they told me in the past when I would say how can you be sure it’s not cancer. The response was ‘because we know what cancer looks like and yours doesn’t look like that’.
Happy to chat if it helps.x
---------- Post added at 00:54 ---------- Previous post was at 00:52 ----------
P.s I meant to say that there was no change in the first 6 months. It was 1.5cm when first seen and no change 6 months later.
Weasley123
22-11-18, 01:06
I’m so sorry u r suffering so. You really need help so you don’t waste your life. Wreck your marriage and traumatize your kids. I had a liver lesion discovered incidentally at war years ago 4 I think. I never even had follow up. I was told it’s super common in woman. I worry about everything. I worry about my live4 because I drink 🍷. I never worry about that lesion
LE
Oh thank you for this!!! I needed it so badly. Having liver something is not easily ignored by HA brain.
My lesion has a name...either one or another benign type. My MRI is in a week.
I am so so happy to read your story...esp since your "lesion" grew to 7cm and is still a nothing and you have no symptoms.
Yes, they know. Esp when I checked my radiologist is highly trained professor in liver lesions...and I emailed her to look at the scans bunch of times.
Basically everything screams its all in my mind...but oh boy, the anxiety is causing real and severe symptoms...and gastritis on top of that.
Thank you!
When I had my gallbladder removed two years ago, they found a lesion on my liver which they removed. It was 2cm. I spent the next week convinced that was it. I begged to go for my post-op early and the surgeon was bemused as to my distress and haste. Turns out these lesions are perfectly commonplace and are not symptomatic. I wish he’d told me at the time! To me, liver masses were a no-no. He said they often occurred in women who take HRT. Well I don’t, but there you go.
It made me much more sensible about jumping to conclusions.
Hope things get better for you soon x
Hi. I was diagnosed with FNH a year ago. Between when they found it on the scan and the MRI was three weeks, which I spent panicking 24/7. Its great news that they basically have told you that you're fine already. Remember, doctors really can't reassure you that much in case of being sued, so the fact that all of them were able to bodes really well. I know how hard it is to deal with something like this, but you're almost done with it. Also, anxiety can make you feel physically ill. Over the last few years, I have gotten many physical symptoms of anxiety, which caused me to think I had so many illnesses. Once you calm down mentally, it can take months to get over the physical symptoms. Good luck with the MRI.
Wow, you are bright, educated and in overdrive! Somehow you need to slow down, but it’s not easy. There are no easy answers to the predicament you are in; no quick fixes. You recognise your problem, you understand statistics, but you are also aware that black swans exist- sometimes rare and extraordinary things DO happen. You seem to be arming yourself with more and more knowledge as a way of coping, but I’m guessing it is giving you no relief!
I myself relate to much of your story. For me, my lesions are in my lung. Found incidentally, probably benign, but to my kooky brain utterly terrifying. I also ended up subscribing to radiological journals and studying images and statistics - and going rapidly MAD. I also weadled my way into speaking to my radiologist on the phone. She was lovely, but radiologists are not required to have superior bed side manners and she ended up making me feel MUCH worse by saying (as an aside), “I mean it wouldn’t be lung cancer, the only sinister thing it could be is metastasis” ONLY!!!! Cue psychological meltdown. And SUCH a lot of wasted time “educating” myself.
In the end, for me, for these particular lesions, time was the thing that helped. It passed, they didn’t grow. But of course my HA is a bigger problem - and ongoing.
I do hope you get yours under control
An earlier poster is right: medication and therapy are the way forward. Tackle it before it beds in too deep.
Yes, thank you. I cope with uncertainty by reading hardcore medical publications. For the last 5 years, I come up with an ilness to worry about, then become such expert (theoretical that is) that my doctors' vague reassurances often sound not precise, not deep enough.
For example when this was useful, when my son had his mild genes for cystic fibrosis, I managed to convince a pharma and Harvard to test a drug which most likely will cure adults with his genes. Its a long story, but yes, they are testing it. My obsession will bring value there..but it triggered my mental demise
So I have been obsessed with medical science ever since.
But now I know how to diagnose brain cancer, multiple sclerosis, agressive breast cancer, leukemia, lymphoma, oral cancer, bladder cancer, kidney cancer, liver cancer, stomach cancer....and more, with deep medical understanding (on paper, zero practice). My mind is sick.
And I got liver lesion.
And its hell
Yes, usually I live 5-6 months in a shell of myself, I dont really die or get worse, and so...it becones obvious that I didnt have that cancer that I thought I have. Then move to another cancer.
I am utterly scared to touch my neck or breasts...as I will always worry of touching a new lump.
PS. I am not hopeful of treatment to be honest. Maybe drugs. No one can delete all these statistics, all these articles. My brain is full of data.
---------- Post added at 14:23 ---------- Previous post was at 14:10 ----------
Did they conclude its FNH on the MRI. Problem is, what if MRI is not conclusive?! It happens apparently with small lesions. I have already watched videos of liver biopsy. Uh I live in prison, mental prison that always always wins against logic
QUOTE=ta333;1838373]Hi. I was diagnosed with FNH a year ago. Between when they found it on the scan and the MRI was three weeks, which I spent panicking 24/7. Its great news that they basically have told you that you're fine already. Remember, doctors really can't reassure you that much in case of being sued, so the fact that all of them were able to bodes really well. I know how hard it is to deal with something like this, but you're almost done with it. Also, anxiety can make you feel physically ill. Over the last few years, I have gotten many physical symptoms of anxiety, which caused me to think I had so many illnesses. Once you calm down mentally, it can take months to get over the physical symptoms. Good luck with the MRI.[/QUOTE]
Wow, you are bright, educated and in overdrive! Somehow you need to slow down, but it’s not easy. There are no easy answers to the predicament you are in; no quick fixes. You recognise your problem, you understand statistics, but you are also aware that black swans exist- sometimes rare and extraordinary things DO happen. You seem to be arming yourself with more and more knowledge as a way of coping, but I’m guessing it is giving you no relief!
Jojo, I love this, as I think it summarizes the situation for a lot of people on this site.
Julieta, you sound miserable. I agree that medication might be the answer for you. You have to break the obsessive cycle before you can start addressing the way your thoughts work. I'm in sort of the same situation, although not quite to the extent you are.
It was only diagnosed as FNH on the MRI. Before that, my gastro had thought it was a hemangioma or an adenoma. I wasn't able to hold my breath accurately during the scan & it was still conclusive. If they have any doubt, they'll have you redo it. Don't even think about the biopsy. You'll probably never have to have it.
Wow, you are bright, educated and in overdrive! Somehow you need to slow down, but it’s not easy. There are no easy answers to the predicament you are in; no quick fixes. You recognise your problem, you understand statistics, but you are also aware that black swans exist- sometimes rare and extraordinary things DO happen. You seem to be arming yourself with more and more knowledge as a way of coping, but I’m guessing it is giving you no relief!
I myself relate to much of your story. For me, my lesions are in my lung. Found incidentally, probably benign, but to my kooky brain utterly terrifying. I also ended up subscribing to radiological journals and studying images and statistics - and going rapidly MAD. I also weadled my way into speaking to my radiologist on the phone. She was lovely, but radiologists are not required to have superior bed side manners and she ended up making me feel MUCH worse by saying (as an aside), “I mean it wouldn’t be lung cancer, the only sinister thing it could be is metastasis” ONLY!!!! Cue psychological meltdown. And SUCH a lot of wasted time “educating” myself.
In the end, for me, for these particular lesions, time was the thing that helped. It passed, they didn’t grow. But of course my HA is a bigger problem - and ongoing.
I do hope you get yours under control
An earlier poster is right: medication and therapy are the way forward. Tackle it before it beds in too deep.
For my sins, as well as liver lesion I too have a lung ‘thing’. Getting the chest X-ray in the first place was totally driven by my health anxiety which ofcourse sky rocketed when something was seen!!!
Like you time has been the healer for that in that was discovered also in 2010. Have had X-rays since and no change. Last X-ray was summer this year for pneumonia diagnosis and then recovery.
woaidelrey
25-11-18, 02:15
I'm sorry you are going through all these. If I were you, I would be in a constant state of panic as well over this "liver lesson". What can console you is the that you have seen so many top physicians and they all confirmed that you don't have cancer. And once you pass the December 3rd MRI scan, I'm sure you will feel much better. Keep holding on, everything will get better!
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I just had my first psycho evaluation. After one hour of explaining my worries, the lady said "yep, you have anxiety. Can't give you anything until you are sure you have healthy liver. See me in January"
That was it. My liver precludes me from getting pills.
Weasley123
28-11-18, 18:09
Ok I’m going to say something harsh I don’t see how the above scenario can possibly be entirely true unless u saw the worlds worst psychiatrist. No way are u ineligible for pills and what tests for your liver. Multiply tests have shown your liver is fine and functioning normally. Didn’t u say multiple drs have said you have nothing to worry about? Couldn’t u have shove this psychiatrist drs notes and test results showing they believe u r fine? You could hand and that’s a better use of your time then watching liver surgery videos. News flash I aren’t a dr. I don’t. Are how intelligent u t u have no idea what u r seeing.
You describe yourself as being on the verge of loosing your job and your husband. Of not being able to care for your child. Of upsetting your parents. My mother never had ha exactly but lots of nectar health issues never addressed. We are now estranged and she had disastrous affects on my own mevtsk heajfh. This is the future for you and your daughter if U don’t get help.
U don’t have cancer u aren’t physically ill. U have had non stop testing that would reveal issues. What u hand us a benign common lesion I had a similar incidental finding 4 or 5 years ago never ever had or needed follow up. They said don’t worry about it. And eveh with ha I don’t. I guess it’s nithinh cause I’m not dead yet.
The truth though is it wouldn’t matter if u had
Cancer because u r living worse then most cancer patients. U r in a living death. Go to a new psych be honest. Bring this thread tell the truth. U will get meds I guarantee it
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