paktar
11-01-05, 14:10
Hi,
Sorry for the long e-mail but I need help. I caanot cope and I am worried. My name is Polin and I am 26 years old. I have a phobia of dying. I had this since I was 12 or 13 I have never had treatment for it and kept it quite and told nobody about it. I worry about all illness like flu, fever etc and I used to think I was going to die. I would avoid the number 13 on the clock becuase if I saw that I would think I was going to die. I had to turn the light on/off three times so that I would not die. It stopped when I was about 19 and recently I feel ill and it was nothing serious and I recovered. However, the other day I was helping my brother who is 11 with his homework and he was doing an article about orphan kids and this has triggered a thought about my parents. I kept thinking what will happen if they die. Who would look after my brother. I had an panic attack but stopped after awhile. However, the next day I was searching the film White Voices and came across a website and a person put a message where they contacted thier dead daughter. At that moment I had another attack about my parents, they worse thing is that I keep thinking that I have contacted this girl and she will hurt my parents. To make matters worse for me my watch ran out of battery and stopped working and now I think that this is a sign and that my parents are going to die. Same date, time etc.... Even if I tell myself this is silly I can't stop myself. I keep getting panic attacks. The first couple days were the worst I had them for hours and now I get them every couple hours. At night it is the worst. I aviod watches and I don't leave the computer on. I have to turn it off even if i leave the room for two seconds thinking something will happen. I check my room for any unusal messages on walls, floor etc. Please can you tell me if I am being silly or is there something wrong with me. It is affecting my life really badly....I have not told my parents about this or anyone. I have even considered requesting my parents don't travel together or make long journey anywhere.
Sorry for the long e-mail but I need help. I caanot cope and I am worried. My name is Polin and I am 26 years old. I have a phobia of dying. I had this since I was 12 or 13 I have never had treatment for it and kept it quite and told nobody about it. I worry about all illness like flu, fever etc and I used to think I was going to die. I would avoid the number 13 on the clock becuase if I saw that I would think I was going to die. I had to turn the light on/off three times so that I would not die. It stopped when I was about 19 and recently I feel ill and it was nothing serious and I recovered. However, the other day I was helping my brother who is 11 with his homework and he was doing an article about orphan kids and this has triggered a thought about my parents. I kept thinking what will happen if they die. Who would look after my brother. I had an panic attack but stopped after awhile. However, the next day I was searching the film White Voices and came across a website and a person put a message where they contacted thier dead daughter. At that moment I had another attack about my parents, they worse thing is that I keep thinking that I have contacted this girl and she will hurt my parents. To make matters worse for me my watch ran out of battery and stopped working and now I think that this is a sign and that my parents are going to die. Same date, time etc.... Even if I tell myself this is silly I can't stop myself. I keep getting panic attacks. The first couple days were the worst I had them for hours and now I get them every couple hours. At night it is the worst. I aviod watches and I don't leave the computer on. I have to turn it off even if i leave the room for two seconds thinking something will happen. I check my room for any unusal messages on walls, floor etc. Please can you tell me if I am being silly or is there something wrong with me. It is affecting my life really badly....I have not told my parents about this or anyone. I have even considered requesting my parents don't travel together or make long journey anywhere.