View Full Version : Am I going mad (struggling to cope)
Hello
I don’t know what to do anymore yesterday and today has been horrible I wake up and almost as soon as I wake up I have anxiety and some symptoms and thoughts I can’t control making me worse while I struggle to fight it the last 2 days has been horrible for sleeping even I just feel so hopeless and lost
One minute I wanna cry and I’m thinking am I going mad? Will I ever get better? Then I forget about my anxiety and get better and start being positive and happy and get positive thoughts! Then suddenly I think about anxiety or remember anxiety and I’m back at wanting to cry and run
But I don’t even know why I feel this way I’m struggling to even eat lately I just always feel sick, early I was on the PC doing some game recordings and I forgot about my anxiety for that hour or so!
Then when I logged off the game I started to get butterflies and then I realised I still have anxiety and my negative thinking takes over until I forget again then I get happy again?
I don’t know what to do or how to beat this I just want to be me again I feel like I’m going mad I’m starting to doubt that this is even anxiety?
I just want to be happy again I just want to be me
P.S a little back story my anxiety seems to be very forced upon myself by my thoughts and I’ve had a bad sleep pattern since June but the last few days has been 8am till 2pm while waking up multiple times and I’ve cut out naps today to try and fix my sleep hoping that will help my anxiety in the long run
No you are not going mad! Yes you will get better, this too shall pass. One of the best things I have learnt is not to fight or interact with the anxiety, let it be there. The thoughts you get, let them sit there too. Tell yourself you can sit with these thoughts and feelings forever if you have too, I truly believe that is when the anxiety stops poking at you in your happy or relieved moments.
This will pass :-)
The whole mood swings off happy and positive that I will beat this then negative then back to happy in a few minutes is making me wonder if this even is anxiety
Like right now I feel okay? But for how long? I have a slight symptom as I lay in bed my watching tv where the feeling of laying in my bed is not quite right like derealization? Other then that I feel okay
But lately all I do is run and escape and think about escaping when things get bad even today I had a anxiety moment before and during dinner to the point I got a taxi and left my Ouse for a few hours cause I couldn’t face the anxiety at that current time
So I don’t know how to sit here and laugh and ignore the thoughts
The whole mood swings off happy and positive that I will beat this then negative then back to happy in a few minutes is making me wonder if this even is anxiety
Like right now I feel okay? But for how long? I have a slight symptom as I lay in bed my watching tv where the feeling of laying in my bed is not quite right like derealization? Other then that I feel okay
But lately all I do is run and escape and think about escaping when things get bad even today I had a anxiety moment before and during dinner to the point I got a taxi and left my Ouse for a few hours cause I couldn’t face the anxiety at that current time
So I don’t know how to sit here and laugh and ignore the thoughts
I think that is the thing with anxiety, if you attempt to ignore the feelings and thoughts by distracting your self then they come back fighting. If you expect them then ofcourse that also feeds them, its like for example you're running in a forest and hiding behind trees, when you find momentary relief behind a tree you still remain in fear because you are expecting a big scary horrible bear to come and attack you in any moment.
If you allow the big scary bear to come, and then you sit next to it, after awhile you will adjust to the bear and you find the bear is no scarier than a little bunny. Thats the thing with panic attacks also, you are told in the moment to let the wave of panic wash over you and once you stop fighting it fades into nothingness.
You're in full anxiety mode, as you said, you're running etc. If when you next feel a wave of panic, from a thought that comes to mind or a feeling that arises in your body, don't physically get up attempting to push it away and distract yourself. Let the feeling hit you, sit with it and you'll find the less you try and fight it away the easier it fades out of existence.
Im aware you may feel that the anxiety is always in awareness and you feel like you cant get away even when youre doing, for example the weekly shop. But thats where acceptance comes in. Accept that the anxiety thoughts and feelings are present, even though they terrify you resistance only makes them worse.
I find "stop expecting and start accepting" very helpful, stop expecting them to come and make you feel bad and weak and hopeless, accept that a wave of anxiety may flow through you and remind yourself it is harmless. The less you fight, the less you will feel like you're going mad!
I find constantly arguing with my thoughts and feelings does nothing for me at all!
All the best x
I totally get what your saying but sadly I don’t know how to stop fighting anxiety I’m used to fighting to the point I don’t know what to do besides fight it?
And while fighting it I lose because fighting it makes it harder to beat and I am now at the point of expecting it and I don’t know how to not expect I anymore and how to not obsess and how to not expect everything will cause anxiety etc
For example I could be sat eating dinner with my family and suddenly a thought like thoughts will be like “if you have anxiety or panic attack now your stuck” I don’t say a word I carry on eating but look around the room thinking great these thoughts won’t go and then the next one will be like “get out of there you can’t cope your going to have anxiety” etc etc
And I some how force anxiety upon myself by my own thoughts? Or in some cases the thoughts annoy me so much I run before they spark a panic or anxiety
A good example is tonight I heard a bang outside I checked outside not to long ago tbh and saw few cars on my street and the thought of “if something happens or you need to get away from here your stuck no one is about”
But this is my home yet I’m constantly running from the thoughts and the feeling the thoughts give me, earlier before I ran I sat on my bedroom floor saying out loud “calm now relax nothing is wrong your okay it’s just anxiety giving the wrong signals I’m not in danger I’m at home where I am safe”
A minute or 2 later my anxiety and thoughts got worse to the point where I had to go out to relax for a bit....
I’ve tried to accept anxiety but I don’t truly know how to accept anxiety even it’s easy to say I accept it but to truly accept it is hard and I don’t even know where to start
I’ve always ran from my anxiety until it goes but this one won’t let me run
I’m extremely good with anxiety when I’m it now I will have a thought like you can’t go to Asda you will panic and soon as I get that thought I’m like right I’m going to Asda to prove my thoughts wrong and I don’t get no anxiety and I prove my thoughts to be wrong
But for some reason when I’m at home I can’t do that instead I run from them? I’ve tried facing my anxiety at home today I woke up and spent a good hour with anxiety thoughts trying to cause me to run which in the end they did
But only after a hour and a half of putting up with the thoughts did I run
Sometimes it gets to much and I can’t do anything else but walk out of that situation and each situation is stupid and silly reasons to even have anxiety
Even now laid in bed I’m getting thoughts to go out and run but why and from what? When I’m actually in a calmish state at this second?
It’s the thoights that make my anxiety and makes me question is this really anxiety?
I think that is the thing with anxiety, if you attempt to ignore the feelings and thoughts by distracting your self then they come back fighting. If you expect them then ofcourse that also feeds them, its like for example you're running in a forest and hiding behind trees, when you find momentary relief behind a tree you still remain in fear because you are expecting a big scary horrible bear to come and attack you in any moment.
If you allow the big scary bear to come, and then you sit next to it, after awhile you will adjust to the bear and you find the bear is no scarier than a little bunny. Thats the thing with panic attacks also, you are told in the moment to let the wave of panic wash over you and once you stop fighting it fades into nothingness.
You're in full anxiety mode, as you said, you're running etc. If when you next feel a wave of panic, from a thought that comes to mind or a feeling that arises in your body, don't physically get up attempting to push it away and distract yourself. Let the feeling hit you, sit with it and you'll find the less you try and fight it away the easier it fades out of existence.
Im aware you may feel that the anxiety is always in awareness and you feel like you cant get away even when youre doing, for example the weekly shop. But thats where acceptance comes in. Accept that the anxiety thoughts and feelings are present, even though they terrify you resistance only makes them worse.
I find "stop expecting and start accepting" very helpful, stop expecting them to come and make you feel bad and weak and hopeless, accept that a wave of anxiety may flow through you and remind yourself it is harmless. The less you fight, the less you will feel like you're going mad!
I find constantly arguing with my thoughts and feelings does nothing for me at all!
All the best x
This advice is on point!!! It really is the only way. I had several years of peace from my anxiety by doing this.
How do I just accept them though?
The best explanation I’ve had for anxiety Is from my therapist. She said to think of anxiety as a fire and you’re thoughts and your reaction to your thoughts as the fuel. Each thought and also each attempt to fight the thought or running from the thought is actually fuelling the fire. Acceptance is the hardest part but it’s possible. Try not to fuel your fire by not reacting to your thoughts. Instead when you start thinking “what if I panic or what if I’m ill”, don’t fight the thought or run from it just mentally answer with “what if?” Try not to get into arguing with your thoughts or running away from them just simply answer them with “what if?” Because at the end of the day your health anxiety mind is wicked and it wants you to react to it, it wants you to fight which in turn fuels it. I hope that makes sense as I’m rubbish at trying to explain things! i hope things get better for you soon
Thank you, I’m just thinking of ways I can “accept” anxiety as few of you suggested accepting it is the way to beat it, but how do I do that is the hard part
Like for example I have slight butterflies at the moment and I don’t know what to do about them I’m starting to realise my thoughts is the problem and I do always think and obess over anxiety it would just be great to have a day without anxiety and a day where I don’t have a good 15 minutes then remember I suppose to have anxiety
You accept it by not fighting, by just letting it be what it is and not reacting to it. It’s very hard, if it was an easy fix there wouldn’t be so many of us on here struggling. Don’t fight your thoughts just give them a relaxed response and let them pass by. When the next one comes along do exactly the same again, by not giving them meaning and the heightened response they want you should stay calmer and in turn the thoughts get easier to deal with. Have you given any thought to cbt? The doctor can give you details for the nhs talking therapies, there you’ll be given lots of coping techniques and also I also find it’s great to talk, unburden myself on someone who won’t judge me or think I’m bonkers!
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