Will it Ever Go Away

[sthldnboy]

Hi,
I have suffered with anxiety disorder for 5 years now. All the symptons - in and out of A+E - convinced i had a heart problem - checking my pulse - dying - severe depression...the lot.
This year as the queen once said has been my annus horribilus.
I was on holiday in Gran Canaria in Jan and got a kidney infection, came home was put on antibiotics - felt bad at work and then had the mother of all panic attacks and was rushed to hospital - i was convinced i was having a heart attack and was going to die. Was of work with Anxiety for 2 months - had tests - ECG's - Excercise stress test - 24 heart monitor - all came back fine. Went to see a counsellor and finally faced a lot of my demons - stripped myself back to find the real me and have been slowing recognising who i am and trying to be positive.
It turns out i have kidney stones and i have been having lithotripsy and that hurts and i keep getting infections and have been off work again.
My anxiety has come leaping back with a vengeance. Insomnia - lethargy - feeling bad - and now the swallowing issue - where i literally have to cough up just to clear my thraot and it feels like i am choking.
I feel like i want to quit my job and take some me time because i am so stressed and have even thought of moving out of london which is something i want to do.
Will i ever be free of anxiety - because just when i think everything is ok - it comes right back at me.
I feel like i need a change - and my whole body is telling me to change my life

Thanks for listening

Paul

[SammiB]

HI paul

I'm very sorry to hear of your illness, i know that kidney stones hurt like hell.

I just wanted to say that some people on here have made drastic lifestyle changes, and their anxiety has lifted, or even small changes are a very good step.

i bet your anxiety is through the roof with feeling unwell but just remember that you can be in control, just relax, i think that work is really stressing you out, and so is your illness,

the only words anyone can say are, that you know whats right for you so if you feel you need a change then try and see how you go, if not try something else, but try(as hard as it may be to be calm and take everything one step at a time)

good luck with everything paul, hope you get better and wish you all the best

sammi

xxxxx

[sthldnboy]

Hi Sammi

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it.
I think i have dealt with so many personal issues that now it is the time to face the day to day issues and i am just not happy at work - it is not a bad job, but i get no fulfillment from it. You're right i think i know i need the change i just need to make that decision and see what life throws at me.
Being ill as well is really stressing me and the more time i have off work i keep stressing about. There is no point going back if i do not feel right - it is like being out of the comfort zone and i know sometimes people need to bite the bullet and get on with things - but sometimes it is better to take stock of everything.

Thank you again so much

Paul xx