Hello

[Hayley]

Hello ya'll im new here.

Well where do I begin :p

I had my first panic attack which was very severe in Ibiza when I was 18 after I was a silly girl and took a lot of base ( speed ). I did not know until I found out about panic attacks 2 years later that that was what is was.

I then had 1 randomly at work about a year later but again I didnt know what it was.

I started getting them reguarly about 1 year and a half ago. I would find that I would get them mid week after I had taken ecstacy and / or cocaine at the weekend.

They started getting really bad last September. I was having several a day but thought I could cope. Then by the end of September / beginning of October the general anxiety started kicking in. I felt constantly weird and freaked out. A sense of unreality and nervousness. I was scared of developing schizophrenia or OCDs and scared that it was going to lead to me not being able to work or go out. I had changed from this girl who lived for her social life to a girl that was wanting to stay in all the time and never felt happy anymore!

I went on holiday for a week in Scotland and suffered all week. I couldnt sleep for fear something was going to happen to me and my boyfriend and on the day we came back we went to a club and standing in that club all that was running thru my head was crazy thorts such as "oh my god all we do is get up and work, how can i be normal everyday" it was all sooo overwhelming and on work on the monday after my lunch time panic attack I just broke down in tears.

I told my Mum and my boyfriend just how bad it was - how I thought I was going crazy and that I just cant cope anymore. I went to see the docs and he put me on propranalol 40mg p/d. That was back in October. I have had a few good weeks but really I have not been the same since. I gave up all drugs in September and smoking and I cant drink now coz im too scared too but i just wanna be the old me again :( the one that loved going out and having fun. I have trouble sleeping and always feel like im in a computer game or something! If i get a headache I think the worst and I reguarly think about my breathing at night to such an extent that it stops me from falling asleep

I have an appointment with NHS on 21st to hopefully get a 1 to 1 therapist which I feel I so desperatly need and I have just been told to up my dose to 40mg twice daily and take amitriptyline to help me sleep ( i get extreme insomnia becuase of my anxiety ) I have developed obsessions where by I have violent images in my head and I cant watch anything scary as im scared ill be stuck with these images.

God havent I gone on!

Im glad tho that I can come on sites like this and share my experience with others that are going thru the same thing, to realise i am normal! - hopefully find my light at the end of the tunnel

:)

[Meg]

Hi Hayley

Well done for coping all this time despite feeling terrible.

I'm glad you are keeping away from drugs now. The incidence of panic and anxiety directly caused by drugs is incraesing daily. It seems that once you've had drug induced panic then you will get them again should you go back to your old lifestyle but the good news is that you can overcome them and not have any more after a while.

You can still have a brilliant and happy social life that doesn't revolve around stimulants.

The insomnia and obsessions are all very common and as you improve they will go.

Relaxation techniques and a healthy nutitious diet will go a long way in replenishing your body of all the goodness that it craves as it heals itself from all the drug abuse.

The sense of unreality will also disappear as you improve. ..

There is definately a bright light at the end of your tunnel.

Good luck with your therapist and let us know how we can help.





Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[nomorepanic]

Hi Hayley

Welcome aboard.

You have been through it haven't you?

Seeing a therapist will be a good move - do you know if they are going to recommend CBT or not?

You can get your life back on track and it will help to post on here and get some tips and advice from fellow sufferers.

Hope you stick around for a while to see if we can help.



Nicola

[Hayley]

Thanks for your kind words!

I have no idea yet what the therapist will be suggesting but hopefully relaxation techniques and poss CBT

I have started taking the 40mg today so hopefully that will help but I swear I have been so tired constantly for the last few weeks. Dont know if thats normal or not!

I'll let u know how I get on

Thanks for being there

[ruth]

Dear Hayley

You poor girl! Anxiety with sleep problems are common, but very unpleasant. It soiunds like the stimulants you once took have triggered panic dsorder, that means you are always on red alert waiting for the next attack, your nervous system has had a battering. as Meg suggests stick to the sensible diet thing, that will help, hang in there I know you will get better, dont be too hard on yourself now. Everyone is here to support you.

Take care and keep coming back

Love Ruth

[jill]

Hi Hayley,

Welcome to the site.

You have been through alot:(

Well done for giving up the drugs[^]

I was just the same as you awhile back, I could
not even watch the BILL:(
but now I am alot better, some days 100% better.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
With alot of hard work support and time you too
can learn how to feel better.
You have come to the right place,
there are lots of nice people here who will
help and support you.

TAKE CARE

JILLXXX


You can conquar alomost any fear if you will only
make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere
except in your mind.