Hayley
11-01-05, 18:36
Hello ya'll im new here.
Well where do I begin :p
I had my first panic attack which was very severe in Ibiza when I was 18 after I was a silly girl and took a lot of base ( speed ). I did not know until I found out about panic attacks 2 years later that that was what is was.
I then had 1 randomly at work about a year later but again I didnt know what it was.
I started getting them reguarly about 1 year and a half ago. I would find that I would get them mid week after I had taken ecstacy and / or cocaine at the weekend.
They started getting really bad last September. I was having several a day but thought I could cope. Then by the end of September / beginning of October the general anxiety started kicking in. I felt constantly weird and freaked out. A sense of unreality and nervousness. I was scared of developing schizophrenia or OCDs and scared that it was going to lead to me not being able to work or go out. I had changed from this girl who lived for her social life to a girl that was wanting to stay in all the time and never felt happy anymore!
I went on holiday for a week in Scotland and suffered all week. I couldnt sleep for fear something was going to happen to me and my boyfriend and on the day we came back we went to a club and standing in that club all that was running thru my head was crazy thorts such as "oh my god all we do is get up and work, how can i be normal everyday" it was all sooo overwhelming and on work on the monday after my lunch time panic attack I just broke down in tears.
I told my Mum and my boyfriend just how bad it was - how I thought I was going crazy and that I just cant cope anymore. I went to see the docs and he put me on propranalol 40mg p/d. That was back in October. I have had a few good weeks but really I have not been the same since. I gave up all drugs in September and smoking and I cant drink now coz im too scared too but i just wanna be the old me again :( the one that loved going out and having fun. I have trouble sleeping and always feel like im in a computer game or something! If i get a headache I think the worst and I reguarly think about my breathing at night to such an extent that it stops me from falling asleep
I have an appointment with NHS on 21st to hopefully get a 1 to 1 therapist which I feel I so desperatly need and I have just been told to up my dose to 40mg twice daily and take amitriptyline to help me sleep ( i get extreme insomnia becuase of my anxiety ) I have developed obsessions where by I have violent images in my head and I cant watch anything scary as im scared ill be stuck with these images.
God havent I gone on!
Im glad tho that I can come on sites like this and share my experience with others that are going thru the same thing, to realise i am normal! - hopefully find my light at the end of the tunnel
:)
Well where do I begin :p
I had my first panic attack which was very severe in Ibiza when I was 18 after I was a silly girl and took a lot of base ( speed ). I did not know until I found out about panic attacks 2 years later that that was what is was.
I then had 1 randomly at work about a year later but again I didnt know what it was.
I started getting them reguarly about 1 year and a half ago. I would find that I would get them mid week after I had taken ecstacy and / or cocaine at the weekend.
They started getting really bad last September. I was having several a day but thought I could cope. Then by the end of September / beginning of October the general anxiety started kicking in. I felt constantly weird and freaked out. A sense of unreality and nervousness. I was scared of developing schizophrenia or OCDs and scared that it was going to lead to me not being able to work or go out. I had changed from this girl who lived for her social life to a girl that was wanting to stay in all the time and never felt happy anymore!
I went on holiday for a week in Scotland and suffered all week. I couldnt sleep for fear something was going to happen to me and my boyfriend and on the day we came back we went to a club and standing in that club all that was running thru my head was crazy thorts such as "oh my god all we do is get up and work, how can i be normal everyday" it was all sooo overwhelming and on work on the monday after my lunch time panic attack I just broke down in tears.
I told my Mum and my boyfriend just how bad it was - how I thought I was going crazy and that I just cant cope anymore. I went to see the docs and he put me on propranalol 40mg p/d. That was back in October. I have had a few good weeks but really I have not been the same since. I gave up all drugs in September and smoking and I cant drink now coz im too scared too but i just wanna be the old me again :( the one that loved going out and having fun. I have trouble sleeping and always feel like im in a computer game or something! If i get a headache I think the worst and I reguarly think about my breathing at night to such an extent that it stops me from falling asleep
I have an appointment with NHS on 21st to hopefully get a 1 to 1 therapist which I feel I so desperatly need and I have just been told to up my dose to 40mg twice daily and take amitriptyline to help me sleep ( i get extreme insomnia becuase of my anxiety ) I have developed obsessions where by I have violent images in my head and I cant watch anything scary as im scared ill be stuck with these images.
God havent I gone on!
Im glad tho that I can come on sites like this and share my experience with others that are going thru the same thing, to realise i am normal! - hopefully find my light at the end of the tunnel
:)