Upset

[Fallenstandup]

Hi all, don't know if I am in the right place but really struggling at the moment. July last year after almost 6 and a half years together, my girlfriend finished with me. I wasn't ready to move on but after a while, it was obvious in a way that there was no chance of us getting back together so I nearly ended up asking somebody out but realised I was kidding myself that it wasn't too soon, I wasn't ready, still aren't. So I never did get with anyone. I struggle to sleep, most nights I am in tears. I volunteer in a charity shop on Saturdays and this time I ended up getting upset. Luckily there were no customers at the time (I work on the till) and the other staff were having a cig out the back so nobody saw me and I composed myself. I miss my ex (though still speak to her but thinking maybe it's time to cut contact because I can't take all this.), her family - they used to say I was family. I miss walking with my ex and her dog. I have a dog now, a small Jack Russell. My mum and brother were secretly planning to take me in his car to get a dog for my birthday as they thought a dog would cheer me up (they could see the smiling/laughing was a mask). But unknown to them, I'd made arrangements to get a dog but they gave me the money back. He's great, I've had him almost two months now and I love him. Anyway in 2016 my stepdad died near Christmas so it's a sad time anyway, but also as I used to divide time between my family and ex at Christmas, it also brings back memories. People keep telling me to get dating again (even trying to set me up) but my heart's not in it. I still love my ex. I don't know what to do, I thought I would be over my ex by now but I'm not. I still care about her a lot.

[LouiseAndy]

Hi hun! I'm sorry no has replied to you yet!

I'm sorry you're feeling so low, I've had beak-ups before. I know how painful they can be. Yet your pain is your pain, let yourself know that no one can really understand how you feel. So even if this feel like a lot to someone, this is your feelings. I'm also sorry about your step-dad. This must be a rather hard time for you.

Bascially there's no way way around this, my best friend went out with her boyfriend for six years. She ended up the realtionship (after he had cheated on her while she had been on a study abored year). Yet even after he had hurt her, she found it impossible to do anything. People kept trying to make her move on. She hasn't seen anyone since, it was three years ago. She's at peace at making peace with herself before seeing anyone. She loves him alot, but she's able to swallow that but move on with it. So I guess my best advice is allow yourself to feel, but know you have to move forward carrying these with you. Take time to get to know yourself again, treat yourself, love yourself and know it's okay to still love someone.

I'm sorry if this is all shit! I just felt like someone should reply to you after such a experience!

[whispershadow]

Hi fallen, I'm just leaving you some hugs :hugs:

[Carys]

I'm so sorry you are still hurting so much. I think you should not have 'chatting contact' with your ex for the moment, as it is not helping you to emotionally move on. You don't need to go out looking for a person to date or pressure yourself to do so, just go out and have some fun, enjoy yourself, make friends and do things that are new and exciting. Finding someone else will happen in its own good time....and sometimes it does take quite some time to get over a relationship that was strong and lengthy like this one was. Take Care.

[Scass]

Hugs for you.


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