Just Found Out I’m Pregnant and Need Some Guidance

[aanns_GAD]

Took a test this morning, actually 2, and they are very positive. It looks like km 5 weeks. I have such bad health anxiety and I’m super fearful of the changes that pregnancy will bring on. The morning sickness, the bump, the weight gain, the constant peeing, and so much more. Then labor terrifies me. The pain and the fear of death while laboring. I’m scared I’m not strong enough to do this. My husband is so supportive and he’s so excited and I’m just scared....can anyone offer any advice? I’m nervous about how our lives are going to change too. Everyone always seems to put a negative spin on kids like they have them and then they are like oh don’t do it look how crazy it is and how much you won’t get sleep and stuff and idk. I just need some help! Thank you!

[Worrywart84]

First of all, congratulations!

As a fellow HA who had has had three pregnancies (1 early miscarriage, and 2 healthy babies), I would like to share my advice—pregnancy can be scary for someone with HA because there are triggers everywhere of terrible things that can happen and then new different sensations will happen to you all the time and it’s easy to spiral and fear the worst. But you can overcome these and have a healthy enjoyable pregnancy!

I let my OB know about my anxiety so they were extra sensitive when handling everything at appointments. I went in for extra heartbeat checks for reassurance. I saw a therapist. I meditated. I practiced mindfulness. I went to prenatal yoga (which was WONDERFUL for reducing stress).

If you are worried about labor, please try to reframe your thinking. Labor can actually be an amazing experience if you have the right attitude. Think about it this way—our minds are powerful enough to do all this negative catastrophic thinking—they can be just as powerful to be strong and focused to have a beautiful labor. I kid you not—-I would relive my labors over and over again if I could because they were the most surreal experiences in my life.

And yeah you won’t sleep for a few years but it will be okay ;)

Seriously, relax and grab Ina May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth on Amazon and do some reading of happy pregnancies and labors.

[Scass]

Well firstly, congratulations!

If you’re in the UK you’d now make an appointment with your GP and get referred for a booking in appointment with a midwife. Either way, it would be good for you to see a doctor and address your concerns.

It is a huge deal when you get a positive pregnancy test. So many emotions and thoughts.

Here’s how I dealt with it.
1.I joined a pregnancy forum. You can often join a sub forum for people due in the same month as you. Work out your EDD (expected delivery date) online & join the appropriate group. You will get SO much help and support from your group of fellow mums to be. Most of them will be worrying about the same things as you.

2. I was also worried about morning sickness, and it did suck. But it was ok, because morning sickness can often be controlled by eating, drinking or resting. There are also lots of tips & tricks on pregnancy websites/forums.

3. Childbirth was complicated for me, but she was delivered safely & we were both fine. That’s the important bit in my opinion.

4. It’s hard work, it changes your life. It’s tiring. It’s worrying. It’s also rewarding, wonderful, fun, challenging. There is nothing like it. Honestly to me, my daughter is a joy and a blessing. Sure she takes up a lot of my time, but It’s all worth it. Every bit.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MyNameIsTerry]

Great advice above. We often believe we are weak because we struggle to push through what the non anxious take for granted but then isn't that a test of character, to do what we fear? So, perhaps you have more strength than you realise? And we have a habit of struggling with the small everyday stuff but dealing with the bigger challenges.

This one is a marathon rather than a sprint. Support is important and people here will help you as well as on the pregnancy forums, pregnancy support groups and the medical professionals as everyone understands what a big thing this is. But with it being slow it does mean you can break it down into a series of smaller challenges. The same after the birth and don't forget the power of love.

Congratulations :flowers:

[Clara983]

Congratulations!

I have two kids (3 and 6 years) and am currently pregnant with twins now.

1. I've never had nausea with any of my pregnancies, some people just don't have it. Maybe you're lucky and one of them. I had bad heartburn though, but there is medication for it.

2. Being pregnant can be lots of fun. Yes the weight gain sucks. But it's a lot of fun finding out the gender, thinking about names, buying clothes for the baby. Also, I've always had the impression people respect you more with a baby bump. Everyone is really nice to you.

3. I've had c-section with my first and a natural birth with my second. I would always chose natural birth over a c-section as recovering from a c-section was bad for me (but managable with lots of ibuprofen).

4. How exhaustive raising kids is depends a lot on their age. People perceive different stages differently, but this is how it was for me and lots of people I know agree with it: The early baby stage from 0-6 months is wonderful, cute and nice. They sleep a lot during the day, yet you'll have to get up a nights 2-3 times to feed them. This will pass as most babies sleep through the night by 6 months. Between 6-12 months it becomes exhaustive as most babies start crawling and later walking and you'll have to run after them most of the time. If you don't run after them, they might fall down the stairs (hello ER), eat soil from the plants/garbage from the bin/cat poo from the litter box/etc. (hello ER), this running-after-them-stage usually goes from 6 months to 2 years. Then it gets easier. Though, at 2 years of age, most toddlers become emotionally demanding as they throw tantrums. I tried everything for tantrums and read lots of books on it, nothing ever really worked until the stage was over. I got better when they were around 4. Generally, once they are between 3 and 4, I guess most people would agree that the most exhaustive part is over. At least this is how I perceived it. Might be different for everyone.

Now, the oldest is 6 and is much more enjoyable. He's very independent, doesn't through tantrums, mostly listens to me, understand when I need some childfree time.... It's fun with him. He's my little friend now. With the three year old, it is getting better. His tantrums are getting less and he's fun to hang out with. The bond between the boys is amazing.

If you have some sort of anxiety, chances are you'll transfer it on the kids. My biggest problem is health anxiety, and I used to think my kids have leukemia, brain cancer, schizophrenia, autism etc. I have a thread running here because yesterday I freaked out because my 3 yo had a headache and vomitted.

In the end, I love them to bits. I cannot imagine not having them.

You got this, momma!!!

---------- Post added at 13:48 ---------- Previous post was at 13:44 ----------

Oh, and I wanted to add:
Natural child birth was exhaustive and painful but afterwards, I was sooo incredibly proud of myself that I felt like super woman!!! Might have been hormones though.

[ankietyjoe]

Everyone always seems to put a negative spin on kids like they have them and then they are like oh don’t do it

First of all, congratulations!!

But WHO is this everyone!? Having kids is the most incredible thing you can do. Any negatives are outweighed by the positives 100:1

[Carys]

Congratulations!!!! I've only 'done' one pregnancy, but it was THE best thing I've ever done in my life - the having a child, not the actual pregnancy :D I could not put one negative spin on it, and would say that looking back, until I had my baby/child (now in 20s) I never understood the depth of selfless love until I had my daughter. She has brought daily joy to all of us, and bringing her up has been the most fulfilling and profound experience. When I was at home with her before school, it was THE most amazing part of my life, I'd do it all over again.


The pregnancy - I had HA during it so understand your fears and was terrfied of birth and everything connected to the physical changes. All I can say is that you need to trust the people around you, family and medics, buy a few books to read so that you are fore-warned about physical changes and embrace them once you understand them. Share your fears with your midwife and ante-natal team, talk to them. Remember that modern child-birth doesn't carry risks like it used to - yes, of course you hear horror stories (and don't women like to embellish them and tell them!!!!) but they are often not as bad as those connected to them like to tell!

---------- Post added at 16:19 ---------- Previous post was at 16:17 ----------

The 9 months of pregnancy (and I had some morning sickness for a few months, but no other issues) were a brief fleeting period of time compared to the following 20-something years of my daughter in my life. They were the blink of an eye those pregnancy months! Remind yourself that that the pregnancy is simply the means to an end, which is the most incredible and wonderful new life with a new family.

[jojo2316]

Hi! Congratulations!
So my little theory is this: if you go into pregnancy with an eye on the negatives, you will be pleasantly surprised. You will be struck by the positives. I thought I didn’t want to be a mother - it looked like a whole lot of hard work and babies are annoying.... but then I had one and my goodness I’ve never felt love like it. It was extraordinary. But my friends who had wanted to be mum’s all their lives, they were the ones who were suprised by the bad bits; the tiredness, the lack of freedom, the boredom etc.
You will be great

[Gee]

Try Hypnobirthing - I have a lot of friends who swear by it, calms the mind and tries to teach you breathing and relaxation techniques:)