View Full Version : I'm having an episode
Hi all,
Looking for some words of encouragement. I'm having an episode and haven't had one for a while and it's triggered by going out the other night and getting so drunk I blacked out and got myself into a dangerous promiscuous situation.
It's made me question everything, why I get so drunk, why I seek sexual partners (because I'm lonely) and I'm on a downward spiral.
Can't eat, can't sleep, feel sick all the time.
Why am I like this?
Yes I am safe and at home. Just feeling very empty and anxious.
I'm really sorry you're feeling awful. Try not to beat yourself up, though? We all do stuff we regret when we're trying to cope with this horrible disease.
Why don't you try to curl up with a warm drink and a box set? You deserve to be good to yourself right now, no matter what you might think.
Thank you for your reply, I really do appreciate it. I am currently curled up but just hoping I don't spiral into overwhelming anxiety. I have been here too many times, how do we get over this?
I wish I knew - I'm just recovering from a particularly nasty incident myself, and I'm so tired I can barely move.
Self-care really helps, though. What do you enjoy doing in the normal run of things?
What do I enjoy? Getting drunk! Actually I don't think I really enjoy it, it's just what I do to make me feel like someone else. I need to work on who I am but that's very difficult when you are in full blown anxiety mode.
Sorry to hear that you have experienced a bad incident too but I'm glad to hear you are recovering x
No need to think about working on yourself for now, just take a few minutes to think about what you'd really like to be doing if the anxiety wasn't getting in the way.
Do you have any hobbies? Even if you don't feel up to doing them now, planning activities can sometimes help.
Honesty, I don't even know what I like doing other than drinking.
Maybe a walk somewhere, exercise is good.
It is - I wish I wasn't so lazy!
Maybe head out for some fresh air tomorrow?
Yes I am going to try, even just a walk. I've been in bed for 3 days straight. It's not good.
I'll share something I've shared before. When I was in therapy after my first heart attack for some depression, one of the things we talked about was my propensity for dating, for lack of a better word, hot messes. These women caused so much drama in my life and it made me miserable.
What I discovered was that, at that time in my life, I was a bit of a hot mess myself and I was attracted to that! So... I literally stopped dating for a couple of years while I worked on myself. It also made me critically aware of that type of woman and when I started dating again, I was very aware of the warning signs.
Perhaps some therapy to address the inner reasons for your behavior and a game plan to change them is in order? Good New year resolution eh? :winks:
Positive thoughts
Yes I think I am a bit of a mess in that sense too. I've come to the realization that I actively pursue men I have no interest in committing to because I'm scared of that comittment and getting hurt. I also feel like I'm looking for attention in the wrong places.
Question is, how do I change that?
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.