View Full Version : Major Puppy Panic
Hi there,
I'm hoping someone can help me as I'm going through some really difficult times but feel really silly about it.
I have recently brought a new puppy into our home after doing our research and discussing it for a long time. I have huge struggles with adapting to change and because I have been doing really well I wanted to prove to myself I can continue to conquer my anxieties and move forward with my life.
Both my husband and I have grown up with dogs and both really like them,we enjoy walks as do our step children.
So we got the puppy, who is very sweet and already adapting well to our life.
However I am struggling hugely and I'm really dissapointed in myself. I knew I would find it challenging to have a puppy but I have been having huge panic attacks, crying uncontrollably and having these massive sensations of dread. The rest of the family is adjusting to him well and I really hoped that it would be the same for me, but I just have so much anxiety in my stomach I feel sick constantly.
The worst is the panic attacks, sometimes I feel OK and then wham it hits me and no matter how much deep breathing I try to do the tears come and I'm crying uncontrollably (not great when you're at work!)
My husband is being amazing and said that it his dog until I feel ready to share the responsibilities so it gives me time to adjust without the extra pressure. My friends and family who know me well said they weren't surprised by my reaction and over time I will calm down.
Basically if anyone can provide me with any encouragment or have been through similar situations and dont mind sharing them I would be so grateful.
I am so exhausted from the attacks and constant anxiety I jsut want to know it gets better!!
xxx
Yes it does. If you put new puppy in the search bit at the top, loads of threads will come up about this. It's quite common and happened to me.
It's all about change which anxiety hates. A new puppy disrupts your routine and your 'normal' which we need. Over time it will diminish and you will have a new normal.
It will pass...what breed have you got, name?
Oh yes, it will pass.
I got my last puppy over four years ago - he was a rescue and though a baby was NOT normal. He wouldn't have anything to do with anyone but me, was fearful, anxious, reactive, aggressive, etc. That on top of my own anxiety was just a lot and I thought I wouldn't get through it. But I did. He's still quite anxious and very reactive but with time and trainers his circle has expanded and aggression nearly gone away. He's a sweetheart and most importantly I can't imagine life without him.
It's good of your husband to take the reins for awhile and definitely take him up on that. I think once you take the pressure to care for this new creature off of yourself you'll feel better (as you would if a friend got a puppy, for example). And in a few weeks you'll come back and read this and think you're silly for ever having felt this way. :)
"This too shall pass"
I always try to remember this quote when I am feeling this way!
It will pass once you get used to your 'new normal' but it sucks for a bit in the meantime.
x
Midnight-mouse
03-01-19, 14:42
I had the same thing when I got my kitten. It’s actually what brought me to this forum in the first place! It does pass. You will get through it, change can be so overwhelming at times, you are stronger than you think.
Positive vibes,
Mouse x
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Oh my, this really takes me back to when I rescued my dog six years ago. He was a one year old staffie x whippet who had spent all his life either as a stray or in kennels with the RSPCA, so had had no training whatsoever! Many tears and panic attacks....
What you're feeling is normal. A new dog, especially a pup, turns your world upside down to start with. But, with time, your routine will adapt, he'll settle down and you'll feel MUCH better about it. And you'll have a new best friend. Or, as I heard someone else put it, 'Another heartbeat on your side'.
x
Ahhh that's lovely Lissa....another heartbeat by your side. I will remember that :)
Thank you so much for all of your replies everyone. It really is a comfort to know I'm not the only one that has experienced similar issues does give me hope.
Another bad evening this eve, another meltdown and broke down infront of my friends.
Is it normal to feel really detached from my puppy while I feel like this? I feel awful that I don't feel particularly fond of him right now unlike the rest of the family.
All my anxiety is telling me to do is to give him back too his breeders. I feel so guilty having that thought and I'm not a quitter and do t want the anxiety to beat me but the emotions I have been feeling are so intense all I want to do is be free of them
To answer your question darksky he is an9 week old n lack lab called duke.
Thanks again for all your support.
So today was a really bad day.
I missed work because my emotions were all over the b place. I ended up getting an emergency appointment with my gp and he had upped my meds and given me some lorazepam to help with the panic attacks.
I got home and let duke out for a bit but got really overwhelmed and put him back in his pen. I then sobbed on the phone to my mum that I coudnt do this and I'd have to tell my husband I couldn't do it. Then I sobbed some more and took a lorazepam which did kick in and calmed me down.
Saw some friends for a bit but couldn't really focus on much as pretty zoned out but tbh it was nice just to hear them talk and vaguely follow the conversation.
Went for a walk in the park today and got emotional when I saw other dogs playing,feeling nothing but fear at the thought of.mine doing the same.
Will this actually get easier?!
Yes it will, you've just got to hang in there.
Don't let anxiety dictate to you. Don't let it tell you what to do in your life. A lot of us have been through this and now love our pets dearly.
You have let Duke become a trigger for your anxiety. But in reality he's done nothing at all, it's all self inflicted thoughts running riot.
I bet if I got a new dog or cat I would go through the same as I did before. The same as you are now. But I would do it, because I know it ends. One day you will look at Duke running around in the park living life to the full and you will wonder what the heck was going through your mind now.
Thanks darksky.
This weekend had been my lowest in many years. I'm a compete mess and I'm exhausted from the stress and anxiety this is causing me.
If it was me alone I would be giving back the puppy just so I don't have to feel this anymore but my husband and kids love him so feel like I can't.
I haven't cried this much since the old days and I honestly can't go back to those c times again.
I would honestly rather break both my legs than go though another breakdown.
I know this probably all sounds so extreme over a puppy but this is the first time in many years I've challenged my anxiety over change.
I went out with my husband today to the beach for some fresh air and saw other dogs there and just kept thinking I can't do this.
Sorry this post is so miserable. I'm just having such a bad time.
Sorry to hear your having a bad day. I could have written this when we got our puppy a year ago. I can only explain that it felt like I had post natal depression when we took our puppy home. I regretted it in an instant, felt overwhelmed, and sounds dramatic but just couldn’t bond with her at all whilst the rest of the family fell in love with her, I just felt that it was something else to look after. Horrible anxiety and felt quite depressed. It did pass eventually once the toilet training, teething went by.
How old is your puppy? Once I could take her out for a walk I felt a little better also took her to puppy training but I would have handed her back if not for the kids.
I just didn’t expect to feel like that and like you we had talked about getting a dog for a long time and thought I was prepared. I think your well being is the priority and if your struggling then maybe see if you can get her fostered. Or could you get a dog walker? We have one that comes twice a week and takes her out for a couple of hours. Don’t beat yourself up about how your feeling.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Since your husband is willing to care for the pup, I'd recommend just writing him off completely for a bit. Your life has not changed. You don't have a puppy, your husband does. Anytime you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself, "this is not my dog, this is not my problem" and leave. You'll bond with her in time, you'll spend time with her in time, you just need to get over this hump of anxiety. The best way to do that might be to ignore her for awhile and adjust slowly.
This is common and it will pass. In another month or so you'll wonder how you ever felt that way.
When you're feeling a bit better I do recommend puppy class. Not only can you and the pup learn some new things, but it's so much fun to take your pup and have other people coo over him. Really makes you feel like a proud mama. :) You can also ask the trainer any questions you may have.
Small animals are hard work. We've had kittens rather than puppies, but even though I've loved every single one of them dearly, their sheer energy levels have tended to stress me out.
Our youngest at the moment is 16 months and he's only just starting to calm down; they're adorable when they're at the into everything stage but also very tiring - puppies chew, but kittens climb and occasionally land up dangling from bits of you by their claws!
Don't blame yourself? As you've said, you can let the dog be your husband's problem for a while until you're ready to deal with it.
Chrisig1986
11-01-19, 15:48
Hi, I'm sorry to hear your struggling.
We have also talked about getting a dog, my kids are always asking. I too have always had dogs and 5 years ago my boxer who was my pride and joy grew her wings and I still haven't gotten over it. We looked after my mum's dog over Christmas while she was sunning herself on the Arcadia carribian cruise. My anxiety hut the roof, I was sick and had diarreah and had such brain fog, I was so overwhelmed i think it was the fact I had to look after another living thing (sounds harsh). I love animal so much and I'm so gutted I can't do it. I still haven't recovered properly, I'm a hermit and I want feel normal.
I really hope you can recover quickly and enjoy your paw baby.
Chrisi x
People say pets are family members, and it's true - you just got a new family member, effectively, and it's a big adjustment.
This brings back so many memories of when I got a dog as a kid. I was sort of afraid of dogs, but I really didn't want to be afraid, because I liked them. I started spending time with the neighbors dog and got more comfortable with him. I went to my parents and told them I wanted a dog. They said, "But you're afraid of dogs". I explained how I had been working on my fear with the neighbor's dog (did I mention I was creating my own exposure therapy at 7? I was such a weirdly precocious child) and I thought I was ready to try having my own dog, since I really did want one.
So my parents got an older puppy for me. The first few days were a disaster. There was a big difference between hanging out with the neighbors dog, and having one in the house. There was nowhere to get away, to get a break. I spent a lot of time in my room, because I was still kind of afraid. I think it was the second night my parents and I ended up having a big three way argument about the dog. Mom was mad and going on about how she knew this wouldn't work because I was afraid of dogs, and what was I going to do now, live the rest of my childhood in my room? And Dad was telling her to chill, that things would work out, and I was frustrated because I knew deep down that I just needed more time to adjust, because the change was tough.
And it did work out. I got used to having the dog around. I think part of it was just learning and getting used to his personality and routines. Puppies are also super energetic which makes them stressful for anxious folks - my parents should have really gotten an adult dog instead.
I agree with the people saying to let your husband handle the dog for now. Give yourself some space and let things happen in your own time.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.