Feeling like I just don't fit in anywhere!!!

[eeyorelover]

Well I'm sitting here - unable to sleep as usual- and I've been thinking!! I can hear you all thinking 'oh boy there's trouble' haha

I just don't feel like I fit in anywhere!!! I'm around people all the time that can lead lives in the moment and I try hard not to let the what if's get me but sometimes - most of the time - I still find myself feeling out of place!!

It's like if someone told a joke and everyone gets it but me!!!

WTH???

Why is it so hard just to relax and feel like everyone else???

I was speaking to a friend on here the other day and she said that it's hard to not worry about everything all the time. Of course I was trying to be reassuring and said what is the point of thinking what if's all the time cuz really it isn't going to change anything just worrying about it all the time but in reality - it's harder than it seems not to always be waiting for the sky to fall!!!

I walk around and sometimes wonder, am I so different from everyone else that I'll never fit in???

That worries me (imagine that - lol) cuz I'm back in the world again trying to function in society. I've got a job, going to school, doing normal everyday things and still I feel like everyone somehow just knows that I'm not normal!!!

I feel like I was away from people for so long being housebound that I just don't get 'it' anymore!! Almost like I don't understand how to live out there after so many years of being in this little bubble and being pretty content to stay there that now that I've ventured out the world is so odd and uninviting!!! The bubble I'd made for myself was so safe and I knew exactly how to live in it!! I'd made it cozy and I was in control and out there is a world that I have no control over and I just don't feel like I'll ever get the hang of it!!!!


Oh well that was depressing!!
Sorry for the rant you all - I guess it's something I have to keep working on!!!

xxx
Sandy

[honeybee3939]

Awww Sandy

Have a hug from me hun !!:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Ive never met you in person, but your certiainly one of my good friends, you certainly fit in with me, your very kind and caring and have a heart of gold, you couldnt wish for any better qualities than what you have hun,:hugs: .

You keep smiling !!
:) :) :) :)
Love an hugs
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[Seuria]

i understand how you feel. i am afraid i cant give you any advice as i havent worked out how to fit in. all i will say is that whilst you may feel like you dont fit in, you are certainly not alone.

Love
S

[belle]

Hi hun..
I posted something along these lines just the other day..
Wherever i go, whatever i do, i ALWAYS feel like the odd one out, but sadly for me i've always felt this way even before i got sick. I feel inferior to everyone else, its horrible to be like this.
I totally sympathise with you :(

x

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Sandy,

Again, the old question of what is normal? I have never been agoraphobic but this is my thought on it. Even though you felt you had made yourself this safe bubble you were know more safe than you are now out in the real world, you just felt that way. Things can happen anywhere. It is our thoughts that make things feel that way.

I know I often feel that I think people are talking about me but I realize it is from my background of being a preacher's kid. Now growing up they probably were talking about me, LOL. What I try to realize today is most people either don't have the time or really don't give a hoot about me to even give me a second thought. I'm talking about strangers here.

I also tend to worry all the time but it is mostly things I can't control. When I do this I really try to refocus my "thinking" and visualize myself in a field of lavender (my fav thing) and that helps me. None of us have control over anything if you really think about it. Our choices in life may choose a certain path for us but at the end of the day I personally feel that the ultimate control is up to a higher power. This is what really helps me.

Love,

Laura

[manmoor]

Sandy :hugs: listen to your good sensible Irish friend :wacko: Your a great lady and as Laura says what is normal????? I for one know I'm not normal lol at my age I should try and be more sensible but nah that's just not me :lac: Don't be hard on yourself Sandy your just fab ok. xxxxx

[jill]

Hi Sandy :hugs:

I can understand were your coming from on this one, it is dame hard when you have had somethimg for sooo long, BUT, Sandy, when your mind has been programmed to think a certain way, it takes time to re-programmed it too.

I have had anxiety symptoms all my life, (will not go into that) I came to this site suffering pa's, high anxiety, YES, I have not had a pa in a long time and only had haigh anxity a few times, ohh thats great and I'm sooo HAPPY with that, with what this site has done for for me, I owe this site a lot :yesyes:

***I walk around and sometimes wonder, am I so different from everyone else that I'll never fit in??? ****

I have had strong thoughts like this too, and do you know what, YES, like me and every human being, we are all sooo different, no 2 people are the same, but the strong thoughts that because we are still suffering with some anxiety, these thoughts *will I ever fit in* worry us soo much, we feed it. I too still have battle with this one, but I know dame well that I'm changing a habbit of a liftime here, so its going to take time.

I don't know you, BUT I know that anyone who has suffered, pa's, anxiety, these people are special, they have qualities that NO ONE else has, there kind and caring peopel, I have followed your threads and you are special too, I see these qualities, IN YOU.

You, DON'T, like anyone, NEED to try and fit in, your personality, will do that for you, it will just happen. Ohhh like you, wish I could take my own advice. I have been trying and working on my thought pattens, but its blinky hard.

Sandy, IT IS, something that has to be worked on, its dame hard, but keep fighting keep working, YOU WILL win in the end.

YOU TAKE CARE HUN, :hugs:

LOVE JILLXXX

[KittyKate]

OMG how spooky, I'm not good like words like you are but I feel the same as you.

Big hugs xx

[eeyorelover]

Thnx you all for your kind replies and really sound advice!!
It's greatly appreciated!!

I think that it's just cuz I'm in such foreign territory for me that is making me feel this way!
I know I'll get thru it and maybe just experiencing it will make me an even stronger person!!

I hope you all know how much you mean to me!!!! I love you all and feel so thankful to have people around me who I know understand and that I can rely on when I'm down!! I think that we all need that from time to time and isn't it just TOO AWESOME that we all have a place and people that we can get that from when the world sucks (as it does sometimes - LOL)

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

xxx
Sandy

[happyone]

sorry I am a bit late replying to this one sandy.

I can very much relate to what you are saying. I can function in groups but I very often don't feel I 'fit' I often people are judging me.
When I stop to analyse it, I think it is mad. One reason is, I think one group of people think I am 'too common' as I have a colloquial accent yet I think the other group of people think I am too 'posh' as my accent isn't rough, it is sort of 'refined' colloquial!!! I think this is very much a british thing. It certainly goes back to my childhood of being brought up in a very rough area but being instructed to speak 'proper' so I was outcast by my peers for doing so. When I tried to speak like them, I never quite completely managed it, so I have this strange mixture of posh/common!

When I ask myself if it matters, as I know I wouldn't care much for someone who judges on the basis of voice......heck! Yes it does!

What I accept though is, that it takes me a long time to feel safe with people and once I feel safe I am fine and my voice doesn't matter! I refuse to let go of my colloquial talk, but I will not get rid of my smooth edges either!

You fit here hun and I am sure many people in the 'real' world would be honoured to be your friend as you are a friendly nice person.

You are doing fantastic! Keepon as you are and you'll be fine!

Happyone
xx

[Vandelay]

I can sympathise completely with you mate. At the moment I feel like I'm a ghost. Everyone around me is getting on with things I just walk through them all. In the metaphorical sense, this is quite accurate as I have no life to speak of where I live now, and my presence mattered so very little to the people I cared about the most. My advice, well, what I intend to do is to take this time to do things I'd never thought of doing before, testing myself as it were by taking a college class and learning to dance. I don't consider myself normal either, but that makes me designer :)

[samtheman]

Its all to do with having low self-esteem, This is cured by positive self talk.