Major paranoia!

[Caribou93]

I have constant panic and anxiety. It starts when I get up and only stops when I'm asleep. I feel like someone is always watching me, or waiting for me somewhere. And it becomes aggravated when something triggers it. For example, I received a random FaceTime message on my phone, from an email address as the contact. I didn't answer it, and blocked the contact immediately. This makes me think "someone is trying to find me, or someone wants to know where I'm at." Or if I receive a random phone call, I use to think "Oh, it's just a random call." But, now I think "how does this person have my number? Do they know who I am?" And yet, the most I can do is just block the call.

Is anyone else like this? It has really gotten worse in the past year or so, and it only seems to be getting worse.

I should mention the FaceTime call worries me the most because since the email wasn't in my contacts, someone had to dial the number to call me.

[KK77]

What happened with the CBT/therapy you were going to have?

[Caribou93]

I decided against it simply because as time was going on, I felt like I did not need to go as I felt better. But, I feel that I’m beyond help anyway due to how severe this has become.

To put this in perspective, I still feel like someone who I had a road rage incident with over 10 months ago is still going to do something to me. And ever since that moment, I’ve had this extreme paranoia. I think something is going to happen to me, and it’s because of that.

[Caribou93]

I wanted to bump this thread because it’s become a problem again. I always think someone is watching me. I received another FaceTime call from a number I blocked on my phone, which means they tried me again. I swear, this is crippling me, and I constantly look outside at times if I see a car parked anywhere close to our house. It’s like I’m always on edge, and I’ve spoken to my GP about it, but it’s kind of the same responses I’ve always gotten for my anxiety. I just almost don’t feel whole anymore, and I was wondering if anyone else feels like this ever or if I’m alone. :(

[tbourner]

I probably can't help as mine is different, but I've been trying to find other people with paranoia as part of GAD. It's like an extreme version of a specific anxiety, but it's so insidious it creeps into your brain and is SOOO convincing, I feel like I've broken out of it now but thinking back to the things I said and did over the summer I actually can't believe some of the things I thought were going on. I'm extremely lucky to have my wife at home, who really understands mental health, she just grounded me and I dread to think where I would have ended up if she weren't there for me.
Sorry like I say that probably doesn't help, but you will be having a lot of confirmation bias - where you fit things into the paranoid thought, and ignore those things which contradict it. I had full on shouting rants at my wife telling her she doesn't understand, and that "I know 100% that it's happening, you're not there you don't get it" etc.. Pretty scary now remembering that I did that. Turns out none of it was happening, and I remember being absolutely certain, I mean 100% certain.

[Caribou93]

I do appreciate your response. I use to be able to just either ignore or forget any situation, which was the only way I could cope. But now, every single thing puts me on edge. I really am paranoid now, and it freaks me out because I always think, “is someone out there?” It started after one of my credit cards was compromised, and has gotten exponentially worse since. I just think of random people doing random things, and if everyone just kept to themselves, I’d be completely fine.

[AntsyVee]

So are you going to give therapy a go again?