How do you cope after googling? Also, some tips I have learned along the way

[Caseyg89]

Hi everyone,



It has been months since I have posted on here. For a quick backstory, in January 2017 (two years ago) I sufffered very serious food poisoning and was hospitalized. Low and behold, one month later I also found out I was pregnant. At this point I had developed health anxiety and had already worried about infertility, colon cancer, pancreatic cancer and ovarian cancer. I woke up one day with heartburn/reflux and excessive belching (hundreds of times a day) so I naturally convinced myself it was stomach cancer. In the past two years, I have had 4 endoscopes, 2 barium swallows, 2 CT scans, 3 MRI's, 10+ abdominal ultrasounds, 2 colonoscopies and a gastric emptying study. Nothing has been found (aside from the odd incidental). Here I am, two years with these symptoms, all these tests later and I am still very worried it is stomach cancer.



So here is my question to you. I was actually diagnosed with OCD, with my obsessions being cancer (I never worry about any other health condition) and have spent EXTENSIVE amounts of time googling. Because my symptoms have never gone away, I convinced myself something was missed and have read hundreds of studies on the inaccuracies of endoscopes and reading stories about people that had stomach cancer missed. For those of you that do the same, how do you undo the thinking???



I have a psychiatrist, psychologist and a social worker for my mental health. The psychologist specialized in Health based OCD. One huge thing I learned along the way is that the main issue with people with HA is that we cannot tolerate uncertainty. Nothing will give us certainty. 100 endoscopes will never be able to tell me with 100% certainty I do not have stomach cancer, but instead we need to find ways to cope (as people without HA do).

[jray23]

how do you undo the thinking???



You have to challenge the catastrophic thought first. Perhaps in the same way it came about. So after googling a symptom and seeing something bad, perhaps google the same symptom again but add "anxiety" to the search. You'll usually find stories of people feeling the same thing who are just anxious, rather than cancer or whatever. It's how I found this forum a couple years ago!

Then with the thought challenged, reframe it. Instead of say, "This story is evidence the doctors might have missed something in me", reframe it to "This is an unfortunate story but it is not my story, there is no evidence of this being my situation".

Then finally you have to move on from the thought. It is just a thought. It isn't good or bad. It is meaningless. Continuing to ruminate on the thought over and over is what gets us HAers into trouble! Distract yourself with something fun or productive.

As for accepting uncertainty, you nailed it. It's a big reason for our struggles. It's not easy but accepting the unknown will help.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

[ankietyjoe]

Time will undo the thinking, as will banning yourself from Google. There are no exceptions to this. You absolutely cannot Google or self diagnose and expect to recover.

The other thing to do is self talk, or mantra's. Each time you think the worst, you have to tell yourself that you have been tested and that you are fine. You can do that mentally, or out loud, but actually saying it to yourself is important. You have to unlearn the things that you taught yourself (in other words, the wrong things) and re-learn to accept that you don't have a fatal disease.

[pulisa]

And the blatantly obvious...You would not be alive now if your perceived stomach cancer had gone untreated for 2 years.

I think you will need to find something to fill the gap currently occupied by Google and HA though. Something positive and productive.

[Caseyg89]

Thanks for the tips everyone. I have been doing so much better than before. I actually feel going back to work has helped alot.



What I always struggle with is the fact that I have completely unexplained symptoms. I have issues every single day with my stomach for the past two years and the doctors do not know what it is. I wish I had not read about cases of missed stomach cancers, because then I convince myself I must be in the same situation.

[pulisa]

Sometimes you have to accept that symptoms will remain unexplained no matter how many hundreds of tests you have done. Symptoms in the body can be an expression of mental distress.

[ankietyjoe]

What I always struggle with is the fact that I have completely unexplained symptoms. I have issues every single day with my stomach for the past two years and the doctors do not know what it is. I wish I had not read about cases of missed stomach cancers, because then I convince myself I must be in the same situation.

They're not unexplained symptoms, you have anxiety :huh:

The symptoms of anxiety are significant, and persistent.

[unsure_about_this]

I worry about every symptom I get/have I am trying my best not to google now.

[jray23]

I agree with Joe, a lot of these "unexplained symptoms" we have are simply the cause of stress and/or anxiety. It could be from diet. Or it could just be random stuff our bodies do.

Part of beating HA is learning to not care what is causing most symptoms or sensations. Not needing an explanation for everything. Letting go. Learning and internalizing that was my 2nd biggest key as I am always an analyst by nature. (The 1st biggest key was learning to recognize my irrational and catastrophic thought patterns)

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

[pulisa]

I think it's a shame that your therapist isn't helping you more with some of the basics of HA management, Casey.

[MyNameIsTerry]

With OCD it's about multiple strategies for me. Tackling the thinking, as discussed above, is a given but you also have to look at how these cycles perpetuate themselves. That is, look at how it's not only about triggers but also reinforcements. If you see a lump or bump and that leads to Googling then you have compulsions there that you can aim to eliminate that are actually reinforcing your obsession. Once you start gaining ground with elimination you find the obsessions lesson.

That's why the first place OCD treatment tends to start is with ERP.

But also overall anxiety levels drive obsessive-compulsive cycles. So, look at undermining strategies too such as relaxation work because the more relaxed you are and the more your body becomes more used to being relaxed the more these cycles are less prevalent. Just as with how adding stress ramps them up, removing stress helps reduce them.