View Full Version : Help. So much despair. Any cancer survivors here? Trigger alert
Traumatized85
05-01-19, 16:14
Hi all
I have had a really horrific last 6 months. I developed health anxiety after my cousin got testicular cancer 2 years ago. And then I went for an ultrasound 6 months ago and they found a mass in between my pancreas and stomach. I had a lot of testing done and they couldn’t figure out what it was. They did a biopsy FNA and they said it was benign. I then had surgery to remove it. They again said it was benign but couldn’t figure out what it was. Finally they sent it somewhere else and realised it wasn’t benign. There were some patchy mild Atypia but it was fully encapsulated and very low grade. My life the last 6 months has been nothing short of pure hell. I don’t know who to go to or what to do. I have a 3 year old and I can’t function. I feel like no one knows what I’m going through but at the same time I don’t want pity. I have felt so different to everyone as I’m only 33 and was diagnosed with a very very rare tumor. Thankfully it hadn’t spread was very low grade and they don’t think it will come back but I have to have mris for a few years. My health anxiety is at a level I can’t even explain. I guess I’m just on here to get some support as I’m so lost.
Has anyone here been through anything similar? I don’t know how to carry on with my life after this. I don’t want to trigger anyone but pls can someone help me?
Hiyer, me.....not as rare as yours....nor as young (47 years old and I am now heading to 3 years since diagnosis) :hugs:
Life after cancer is very different to before, certainly in the aftermath. A diagnosis knocks you sideways and makes you evaluate everything, feel fear like you've never felt and tests you physically but most awfully, tests you psychologically to your limits.
I will say two things to you - 1.) 6 months isn't long at all...I would say it took me a good year and a half to feel mostly 'back to normal'. I would have been astounded if you had said '6 months later I feel great'! You are reeling from the shock for months and months, and then fear of it returning and then the year anniversary comes along. Along the way you have people checking on you, you are analysing the experience, there are scans and tests sometimes ( I also have yearly scan, but have just finished my 6 monthly consultant check-ups) and generally the cancer is still there bubbling away in your thoughts. That DOES change, and time brings that gradual change.
The fact the cancer was encapsulated and low grade (mine was highest grade breast cancer, but had clear lymph nodes and no spread) is brilliant news, but you feel like many after this experience, scared and lost. Everything gets turned upside down, and suddenly you are back to being alone with your thoughts after surgery and any active treatment, thrown back into life - but feeling different!
2. There are specialist NHS cancer counsellors - ask for a referral (probably via the consultant, don't know if the GP would have access). I had 'cancer counselling' in the months after diagnosis and it was pretty helpful. She talked me through the fears, the 'grief' at the feelings of losing health,the processes of mental recovery. x
I have a different medical issue (aortic aneurysm) but with a similar specter hanging over my head. While I cannot speak to cancer specifically, my diagnosis hung over my head for a while like a sword. I waited for it to burst. I was sure I was a walking dead man.
But it did change my life. It changed it dramatically. At first, I could only think about how it would potentially end, how I had a diagnosis that may or may not kill me. It is terrifiying. In the end, however, it passed. I literally woke up one morning and told myself "I refuse to live in fear of how my life will end. I am wasting what time I have left." I guess I hit the acceptance stage of my grief process.
My life is, and will always be, different from what I expected it to be at this age. I will always live with this, even corrected surgically, I am at far greater risk for many issues than prior. But if you can get to the spot I am--live in the day, not the month or year, but the day--and make the most of each one, it really does help me overcome the stark terror of my own mortality, and that accepting the time you have and making the most of it really counts for something.
As to your diagnosis, my mother had an encapsulated tumor on her adrenal gland. I had another friend whose mother had an 8cm encapsulated cancerous tumor in her lung, and it was removed without issue. The word "encapsulated" is a good word to hear when referring to cancer, so take some heart with that. Cancer is not the death sentence it was, as many as 1/3 of all people get it, and many are surviving cancers that just a decade ago would have been fatal.
Traumatized85
05-01-19, 19:38
Thank you for your reply’s..I really appreciate it. I’m sorry you guys had to go through all this too. Lofwyre as far as your mother and friend go, how long have they been clear for? I really need hope so bad. I’m only 33 :(
I have replied to your recent PM traumatised.....but I will add a similar comment on here too (sorry if this seems a bit out of context for those reading, but I wanted to repeat some things on the public forum too). You have been given back the gift of life by your surgeon and the medical team; in the old days your chances (and mine, and those of others) might not be good, nowadays there is EVERY reason to be hopeful. The MRI will check yearly that nothing has come back and I should think that the chances of continuing to be clear are extremely high indeed. There is absolutely no reason why you can't continue with a long and happy life, as you don't have cancer, you HAD cancer and a low grade one at that. You talk about your age and what would the chances be as you are 'so young'...well....
Children get cancers, teenagers get cancers, you aren't alone and not that young as these things can go. Why do you talk of not living or being able to as you are now, when you have every chance now of being back with the general population in terms of risk ?
I think you really do need to ask for some counselling, there are issues that you are clearly really struggling with and it would help you through those.
Traumatized85
05-01-19, 19:58
I think bc i don’t know what caused this and whatever did can happen again. So I don’t look at myself as though I have the same risk as the rest of the population bc I’m on constant watch and I don’t know what caused such a rare thing in my body
I had no risk factors, none for the type of cancer I developed. I wasn't overweight at all, didn't smoke, am teetotal, eat a generally healthy diet, I am active (OK, not super fit but I do walk and gardening and all sorts that keep me active). Sometimes you just have to accept that it is a 'luck' thing, and nothing you did caused it. There is no blame attributed for having a cancer, nothing you did that caused it, it was simply 'one of those things'. I was unlucky, you were unlucky, others are unlucky. EXCEPT, we were also lucky......we are born in a time where imaging helps diagnose things early, where skilled surgeons with a fantastic knowlege of cancer remove it successfully and treat it. We have yearly tests/checks and they make sure that they keep a good eye on you. With this type of input you are in a very good place indeed right now!
I've talked about this on another forum before, but as you've started this thread I will mention it here. There could be people next door to you, in the supermarket, that you pass on your road who are at a MUCH higher risk having developing a life-limiting condition right now. You are presuming just because you were unlucky (or was it lucky ?! lol) once, that it will happen again. That is not the case. You might live a long and healthy life with no further scary issues, whilst other people you know who have had no such scary issue might develop something much worse. It is having had a diagnosis that makes things tough psychologically, others are walking round living their lives blissfully unaware. Nobody knows what it around the corner, not one of us, that is part of what makes people with HA struggle so much. However, when you've already had something occur it brings the stark realisation of illness into focus and reminds you that we are all mortal. How I cope with it is reminding myself that my chances are the same as anybody else right now, after the cancer is removed. The woman behind the supermarket till could have a genetic fault that puts her at risk of a rare cancer for all I know, but she is unaware of that and therefore living her life, you and I am others have had the fish slap us in the face so we are on high alert. However, the high alert doesn't last, as time goes on and you get used to living again you drop back into blissful ignorance LOL
YOu talk of fear of recurrence... it could happen again for me, and anyone else.....it could happen to any single person you know and see and talk to on a daily basis. OR it might NOT ever happen again......you might never need anything in terms of treatment ever again. WHy not live your life, the life you have back to live, you could worry about recurrence forever and never have a recurrence.Also, worth remembering, and this is CRITICAL - you had cancer this time and they got rid of it. IF it did ever happen again, they'd do the same :o)
Did your surgeon or consultant talk to you about this rare cancer and reasons for it occurring, did they talk about the future and anything you could or should do or change?
Traumatized85
05-01-19, 20:23
No they haven’t been very nice or helpful to be honest. They just said it’s one of those things and whenever I try to ask questions they stop be and say this is health anxiety so I just feel completely lost. What do your consultants say that have been helpful? I know we didn’t have the same thing but what have they said that has been helpful to hear?
You said at the start of this thread, that they told you they 'don't think it will come back'. That is a very strong and positive statement. I don't know exactly what rare tumour you had, but for the consultant/s to make such a positive statement it could just be that the rareness makes it even less likely to ever occur again and their experience and knowledge adds to that prognosis.
Many people have to live with the fear of recurrence or a new primary cancer or even a secondary cancer, which has a far stronger likelihood.My consultant talked about probabilities of recurrence based on stats correlated on the grade, stage, my age, the treatments I had and loads of biopsy factors and assorted other details. Infact there is a system called 'NHS predict' where all the info is tapped in and you get a percentage recurrence chance. None of this of course is any sort of guarantee, you could be the one on either side of any stats and you will not know that.
The most helpful thing I heard was before surgery when my surgeon said 'we will deal with and get rid of it'. It gave me hope. Yours has also been 'got rid of'. The terminology she used throughout was positive, and pointed to future life at a time when I doubted it. Maybe in your case there are less answers that can be given, as there are no associated risk factors? It literally is just 'one of those things'.
---------- Post added at 21:18 ---------- Previous post was at 21:14 ----------
Lofwyr is right and I totally agree with this statement.....it was what I was trying to get to in my post about 'nobody knows what is around the corner'.
"I refuse to live in fear of how my life will end. I am wasting what time I have left."
It isn't just a cancer diagnosis that can bring about that 'sword hanging over you' as lofwyr refers to above. There are many conditions and illnesses that are potentially frighteningly life-limiting, and the acceptance lofwyr talks of is part of recovering and moving on.
My friend had a similar situation as you. She had an ovarian cyst and was told it's benign. After it had been removed and biopsied properly it turned out there were some cancerous cells. The doctors debated whether she needed chemo but decided against it in the end. Shes 29 at the time and it happened 10 years ago. She hasn't had any issues since. Hope that's reassuring. Take care
Traumatized85
05-01-19, 22:10
Thank you lucky. These stories really help me. Was she able to have kids? They told me to wait a while to have kids. I have a three year old but I want to have more. I’m just heartbroken as I’m already 33
Carys you are right. I guess bc I had cancer phobia before this it just sent me over the edge.
I read your thread and didn’t want to walk by. You do sound traumatised and I can understand why. Your cousin, PND (which you mentioned in a previous thread) and then this. You must be feeling very vulnerable and unsafe. And it sounds like your doctors- who are confident your “low grade” tumour will not come back - do not really understand your anxiety. You’ve been told you are in the clear - so why are you so worried? But you had health anxiety before this and it must’ve seemed like your nightmares were coming true- and if it happened once, why not again?
You’ve had some lovely replies on here, and there are several cancer survivors on here, but I think what you really need is some councilling. The cancer is not a threat to you right now - your state of mind is. Can your GP refer you to anyone?
Why have they told you to wait to have another child?
Stage IVa Squamous Cell Carcinoma Head and Neck survivor. Going on 6 years out. Considered cured.
I truly don't think about it that much. The first three years were tough. I had a bit of depression and what I call "Scanxiety". I'd be fine but when the three month appointments would come up, I'd get stressed and short tempered. With a 50/50 chance of it recurring in the first three years, those odds lent to the stress levels.
Like I said, I really don't think about it. I'm too busy living life and dealing with other issues. I suggest you look into some talk therapy and don't be adverse to meds if needed. I did both and it helped tremendously.
The real positive is that, based on what you said, it was encapsulated and mildly atypical. That means it wasn't cancer yet and it was basically in a cell cocoon.
At any rate... even though I'm not a sufferer, I understand how stressful it is when you have something foreign in you with the potential to do harm.
Positive thoughts
WiseMonkey
06-01-19, 00:01
Stage IVa Squamous Cell Carcinoma Head and Neck survivor. Going on 6 years out. Considered cured.
Positive thoughts
FMP Great that you are considered cured. Did yours start off as a small skin nodule?
I had a small 1cm squamous cell cacrinoma removed from my neck/upper shoulder area last October. It was completely excised. Mine was defiantly caused by sun exposure.
My brother (52) had an early melanoma removed from his back about 8 years ago and several precancerous lesions also removed. He'd been a surfer in his younger years so sun related as well. I get my skin checked every year and my brother 6 monthly.
FMP Great that you are considered cured. Did yours start off as a small skin nodule?
I had a small 1cm squamous cell cacrinoma removed from my neck/upper shoulder area last October. It was completely excised. Mine was defiantly caused by sun exposure.
My brother (52) had an early melanoma removed from his back about 8 years ago and several precancerous lesions also removed. He'd been a surfer in his younger years so sun related as well. I get my skin checked every year and my brother 6 monthly.
Mine wasn't on the skin. I had an unknown primary they think started on the back of my tongue that spread to the nodes on the left side of my neck. Mine was positive for HPV.
Positive thoughts
Traumatized85
06-01-19, 00:38
Fish man .. so happy to hear you are cured.
At least you guys know what caused your cancer. I think one of the things that killls me the most is I have no idea. I have none of the risk factors.
WiseMonkey
06-01-19, 00:50
Fish man .. so happy to hear you are cured.
At least you guys know what caused your cancer. I think one of the things that killls me the most is I have no idea. I have none of the risk factors.
It seems you need more info on your type of rare tumour and they must have an idea how it got there. Can you speak to the surgeon who received the results and get him to do some follow up work?
Great news that it's a low grade tumour and appeared to be fully encapsulated with no spread. I guess it would be good to have a name for it, then you'd have more understanding of it. I would find this very frustrating!
Traumatized85
06-01-19, 02:52
I have a name but they don’t know what causes it bc it’s so rare... they have linked it to castlemans disease but I don’t have that and that’s a very weak link. I’m just heartbroken that my body is that defective that it did this to me
---------- Post added at 02:52 ---------- Previous post was at 01:44 ----------
Jojo2316 thank you for your encouragement. I’m severely traumatised and don’t really know what to do. My gp has referred me for counselling but I’m waiting. I know I’ve been in the clear and I’m so thankful but now I’m always on high alert bc I feel like my body is defective and I am prone to cancer now and I’m terrified. I’m only 33 and this happened. Of course it will happen again
You really do need help with your thinking and I'm so glad you are waiting for counselling (hoping its someone with cancer counselling experience?!); I don't think anything I can say about the thoughts you are having about your 'body being defective' and that you are 'now prone to cancer' will make much difference to you long-term, as those thoughts you have are deeply entrenched and tied together with prior HA cancer fears. Someone, on a one to one with you will be able to work through all the themes that are currently tied together in a jumble of fear and confusion.
We have had some communication via pm and in that you mentioned also about your 'life being over' and 'you didn't know how to continue' and you 'wouldn't likely live to an older age'. You talk also about how 'its cruel for God to do this', as its your worst fear and you are 'so young' and various other things. I am paraphrasing some of your feelings, and I hope you don't mind me putting some of them here as I do feel it adds to the full picture of what you are experiencing in thought patterns. (Our communication has become a bit mixed up with your PMs and then repeated things on the thread, so maybe easier to keep it all on here so that everything is in one place - hope this is ok to add things here as you are saying them here yourself anyway :))
It is my opinion that you are still at the stage where some people find themself after initial diagnosis, mentally; you are angry, fearful, confused and low. For many this passes as they move onto treatment and then they go through the whole process of acceptance and then recovery/moving on. Lets be honest here, you have a really good prognosis, it was a low grade encapsulated tumour and there was no spread at all. It was an unusual cancer, they don't know why it happened so (You didn't need chemo or radiotherapy or anything other than surgery.) However, you haven't moved on from the intial diagnosis feelings, and do need assistance in doing so from someone professional. You are basically 'clear' but struggling to imagine that there won't be a next, or next cancer. You are looking for reasons for and some control over whatever caused this, but are struggling to accept that there may be no reason, it just is what it is - 'one of those unlucky things'. I really truly think you can move forward from this psychological and emotional shock,and as you have a young child it is important that you do for yourself and your little one. You have every reason to have huge amounts of hope that this experience is over and done with.
Do you feel the rareness of this makes it more frightening for you, would it be easier if you had something that had obvious risk factors? I had no risk factors for my cancer type, and many others I know don't either, so in that way we are in a similar boat to you - analysing, questioning, looking for some logic or reasons so that we can have control in the future. This feeling of 'lack of control' is common before cancer treatment starts, but for many it passes after their treatment plan begins and they find that this is the way they gain control - by getting rid of it through medical intervention. This is another reason why you do need that professional help, to move on beyond this life blip.
Like FMP, now I am heading to the three year mark it really isn't in my thoughts at all.....except when a regular check comes up. Sure there are reminders, but life is for living especially after being given the gift of 'all clear' and I could spend the rest of my life worrying about recurrence/a new primary/secondaries only to go finally from a heart-attack at 90. :blush::winks:
Hapy to continue on this thread and help as much as we can.....
(Btw, not sure why they are saying to wait before having another pregnancy, is that a physical reason related to your surgery or the yearly need for MRI? You've not have chemotherapy or any other sort of medical therapy that would affect fertility? )
You really do need help with your thinking and I'm so glad you are waiting for counselling (hoping its someone with cancer counselling experience?!); I don't think anything I can say about the thoughts you are having about your 'body being defective' and that you are 'now prone to cancer' will make much difference to you long-term, as those thoughts you have are deeply entrenched and tied together with prior HA cancer fears. Someone, on a one to one with you will be able to work through all the themes that are currently tied together in a jumble of fear and confusion.
We have had some communication via pm and in that you mentioned also about your 'life being over' and 'you didn't know how to continue' and you 'wouldn't likely live to an older age'. You talk also about how 'its cruel for God to do this', as its your worst fear and you are 'so young' and various other things. I am paraphrasing some of your feelings, and I hope you don't mind me putting some of them here as I do feel it adds to the full picture of what you are experiencing in thought patterns. (Our communication has become a bit mixed up with your PMs and then repeated things on the thread, so maybe easier to keep it all on here so that everything is in one place - hope this is ok to add things here as you are saying them here yourself anyway :))
It is my opinion that you are still at the stage where some people find themself after initial diagnosis, mentally; you are angry, fearful, confused and low. For many this passes as they move onto treatment and then they go through the whole process of acceptance and then recovery/moving on. Lets be honest here, you have a really good prognosis, it was a low grade encapsulated tumour and there was no spread at all. It was an unusual cancer, they don't know why it happened so (You didn't need chemo or radiotherapy or anything other than surgery.) However, you haven't moved on from the intial diagnosis feelings, and do need assistance in doing so from someone professional. You are basically 'clear' but struggling to imagine that there won't be a next, or next cancer. You are looking for reasons for and some control over whatever caused this, but are struggling to accept that there may be no reason, it just is what it is - 'one of those unlucky things'. I really truly think you can move forward from this psychological and emotional shock,and as you have a young child it is important that you do for yourself and your little one. You have every reason to have huge amounts of hope that this experience is over and done with.
Do you feel the rareness of this makes it more frightening for you, would it be easier if you had something that had obvious risk factors? I had no risk factors for my cancer type, and many others I know don't either, so in that way we are in a similar boat to you - analysing, questioning, looking for some logic or reasons so that we can have control in the future. This feeling of 'lack of control' is common before cancer treatment starts, but for many it passes after their treatment plan begins and they find that this is the way they gain control - by getting rid of it through medical intervention. This is another reason why you do need that professional help, to move on beyond this life blip.
Like FMP, now I am heading to the three year mark it really isn't in my thoughts at all.....except when a regular check comes up. Sure there are reminders, but life is for living especially after being given the gift of 'all clear' and I could spend the rest of my life worrying about recurrence/a new primary/secondaries only to go finally from a heart-attack at 90. :blush::winks:
Hapy to continue on this thread and help as much as we can.....
(Btw, not sure why they are saying to wait before having another pregnancy, is that a physical reason related to your surgery or the yearly need for MRI? You've not have chemotherapy or any other sort of medical therapy that would affect fertility? )
Very very wise words from Carys. I would suggest you read them many times..... there are truths there, on many levels. Your body is not defective, just because this happened. But you think it is. And there lies your problem. Do keep posting here if it helps
Very very wise words from Carys
Why thank you Jojo....(paypal ok?) :roflmao:
I wholeheartedly agree with Jojo. This is such valuable advice from Carys who epitomises what a "cancer survivor" truly is physically but more importantly, mentally.
Traumatized85
06-01-19, 16:04
Carys.. thank you for your words. You truly are a special kind hearted person. You don’t even know me and you’ve taken the time to be so lovely and understanding towards me as has everyone else on this thread and it means the world to me.
I have always felt different in my life.. my dad left me when I was 8 and I was bullied for years. This is now another confirmation of how different I am. I didn’t just get a tumor but I got the rarest kind there is. This is why I see me body as defective. I’ve had a lot of hardships in my life and I’m not trying to get pity but bc if that I feel like all bad things happen to me and of course the cancer will come back or I will get another one. Why wouldn’t I? Why would my body create such a rare thing. I feel like an alien.
I know I should be so grateful that it was encapsulated and I didn’t need any more treatment and I am of course. But for someone who already had HA this is the last thing I needed. I also worry so much about all the radiation I have had. I had 4 chest abdomen and pelvic ct scans , a pet scan and now I’m being followed up with mris with contrast and the contrast is full of heavy metals.. and I’m only 33. I already got a rare tumour and now add in all that radiation and I truly am screwed. If I was older then I wouldn’t be this sad. But I have a lot of years for the radiation to create another cancer even if the one I had doesn’t come back.
The reason they tell me to wait is bc of recurrence. They said they normally say 3 years for cancer patients but for me they don’t know bc of how rare it is. They said technically I don’t have to wait but to be in the safe side maybe wait a year at least. And yes I will need mri with contrast which isn’t ideal in pregnancy. It’s just all a mess
---------- Post added at 16:04 ---------- Previous post was at 16:02 ----------
Does anyone else have any hopeful stories about anyone they know who had something similar and have been cancer free since?
Does anyone else have any hopeful stories about anyone they know who had something similar and have been cancer free since?
Maybe re-read my post? :huh: Head and Neck cancer is rare to begin with. Add to that is was HPV positive which makes it an even smaller percentage and it was an unknown primary which accounts for 1-2% of all Head and Neck cancers there are so I know all about rare!
That doesn't matter! What matters is you treat it and that's your primary focus, not some stroke of bad luck.
Most of all, according to what you've posted, you don't have cancer. This apparently was an incidental finding that for all intents and purposes you could have had the rest of your life and not had an issue. Mildly atypical cells don't always turn into cancer. The reality is you've really been handed a blessing! Concerning your tests? Pffft :lac: I had radiation on my neck for 5 days a week for 6 weeks and a CT scan before each treatment to aim/adjust the beams. That's not even counting all the tests prior and after. Other than not having to shave my neck anymore and glowing in the dark, I'm good. :winks:
I reiterate my advice for real life professional help. I recognized I couldn't help myself and got help. I'm glad I did.
Positive thoughts
You are welcome Traumatized, it is interesting to have someone ask about this issue on fmp and I think some people will find it refreshing to think about moving on from medical treatment.
I'm not a believer in good and bad luck :). Sh*t happens, and it happens to most people to be honest. I'm not trying to devalue the life experiences you have had, as clearly they have affected you greatly, but it doesn't mean that only bad things are happening to you, just that those are your primary focus. Many could count some really awful roller coaster experiences in their life, myself included from childhood to my grand age of 50. It is how you process them after the event that matters. You can be glass half full or glass half empty, and by finding and reenforcing the 'silver lining' in as many things as you can you can re-train your mind to have a different view of everything. I am a firm believer in the fact that we are all able to learn and get positives out of any life experience, no matter how negative it may be at the time. Here's just one example (and I tell you this not for any attention or 'woe is me stuff' :winks:)- At about your age now I was hospitalised for 6 months due to a rare psychological reaction to hormonal changes following child-birth, and that was following an emergency caesarian and 5 days of labour where my dilation reversed totally. It was horrendous, I made attempts on my life, and I had all sorts of treatments including electro convulsive therapy and missed out on the early months of my only child's life (I was advised to not have another pregnancy). I can hold the anger, 'unfairness' and misery of that period forever, or let it go, see that in many ways it made me a stronger person, that I survived,that I have an amazing relationship with my daughter, that I learnt some strong coping strategies and saw a side of life that most don't experience.....etc. Holding onto negative thoughts only hurts yourself and inhibits personal development and growth. Lets think about parents who have tragically lost children, something which to my mind is the absolute worst that can happen to anyone. They need to make sense out of this unfairness and have something positive come out of the unbearable pain of the experience, many find ways to further the causes that helped their child, or set up foundations, or make it a mission to spread awareness messages. It is kind of the same thing I am talking about, moving on and finding a way for a positive to come from a negative.
I don't always get it right, sometimes I do fall back into bemoaning 'bad things that have happened' but that really is a road to nowhere unltimately. Sh*t happens, and I could list more sh*t :roflmao:but that makes me miserable to think of that stuff, instead counting blessings is a better way to go. :D:D:D You can be defined by the rubbish experiences that life brings, or by the way you respond to it and the other brilliant happy beautiful things that life brings.
As for radiation, as FMP said, many who have had cancer treatment have had radiotherapy and been blasted day after day for weeks with radiation and then have follow-up scans for years. It was necessary for me, just as your MRI and scans are necessary. Yes of course there are small statistical risks attached, but if you weigh up your gains from those amounts of radiation then to my mind its worth it. Of course you could always refuse MRi scans and radiation treatment, it is everyones choice to also not have surgery for cancer or any treatment at all, but by the fact you had the surgery I am presuming you wanted to carry on having a full and happy life.
I said to you in a PM I think that I felt the critical words were 'you HAD cancer', and that is confirmed by FMP above. It has to become the past tense, and not in your mind as the present tense.
---------- Post added at 16:04 ---------- Previous post was at 16:02 ----------[/SIZE]
[/COLOR]Does anyone else have any hopeful stories about anyone they know who had something similar and have been cancer free since?
My mum has had two encapsulated tumours..... both incidentally found. One in her kidney and one in her thyroid. She had both removed (several years ago) and apart from the checkups (which don’t happen any more), I don’t think she has given them any thought. She never considered herself to have cancer, since I think that is not how encapsulated tumours are described. She certainly never needed any follow up treatment (just scans).
And you fear the radiation you have had, but many children and teenagers go through full cancer treatment (with all the radiation that comes with that), are cured and go on to live normal lives.
Your misery is not caused by your situation; it’s caused by the way you are SEEING your situation. Hopefully, though, a good councillor will be able to help.
Xx
Your misery is not caused by your situation; it’s caused by the way you are SEEING your situation. Hopefully, though, a good councillor will be able to help.
Thanks Jo, this is spot on......and what I was trying to get at in my incredibly wordy style LOL
Traumatized85
06-01-19, 17:24
Yes carys I see this and you are right. The way I see my life is glass empty and I know it is hurting me a lot. My confidence is at zero. I literally have none left and I guess I see my friends living their best life and I’m so happy for them but I’m in this horrible situation and feel so hopeless. I’m sorry you had to go through the things you did. I also at the age of 18 was hospitalised for depression and went through a lot of tribulations that go with that so I totally understand how awful that must have been. Ultimately my mind is my worst enemy in all this.
Jojo I’m so happy to hear your mum has been clear. How regularly did she have to have scans? And for how many years? It’s interesting how she doesn’t see herself as having cancer. A lot of people have said the same to me. That I didn’t really have ‘cancer’ in the true sense and FMP touches on that too and of course I don’t want to disrespect ppl who have really had to go through gruelling cancer treatment. Bc as hard as the surgery was it wasn’t comparable to chemotherapy etc. I think the thing that gets me the most is my age.
Sorry if I sounded rather harsh, I didn't mean to. :D The thing is, and this is truthful, I'm not sorry I've been through the things I have...even though I appreciate your sentiment. They have made me who I am, they have shaped my future and taken me down routes I might not have headed down, they have made me a better person (I hope LOL!) than I might have been and brought me into contact with people who have inspired me. They have made me appreciate life in a way that I didn't before. I could list lots of positives, but I suspect I might become really boring. :roflmao: Now, your age - can I be blunt about this - 33 isn't actually that young. I know you feel young, but there are plenty of children who heartbreakingly have much worse to deal with.
Yes carys I see this and you are right. The way I see my life is glass empty and I know it is hurting me a lot. My confidence is at zero. I literally have none left and I guess I see my friends living their best life and I’m so happy for them but I’m in this horrible situation and feel so hopeless. I’m sorry you had to go through the things you did. I also at the age of 18 was hospitalised for depression and went through a lot of tribulations that go with that so I totally understand how awful that must have been. Ultimately my mind is my worst enemy in all this.
Jojo I’m so happy to hear your mum has been clear. How regularly did she have to have scans? And for how many years? It’s interesting how she doesn’t see herself as having cancer. A lot of people have said the same to me. That I didn’t really have ‘cancer’ in the true sense and FMP touches on that too and of course I don’t want to disrespect ppl who have really had to go through gruelling cancer treatment. Bc as hard as the surgery was it wasn’t comparable to chemotherapy etc. I think the thing that gets me the most is my age.
I’m not sure how many years my mum had check ups for - she hardly mentioned them so I really don’t know. I know you are young, but for all my mum knows, she may have had the kidney tumour since she was your age. It was only discovered because of a CT scan done for another reason. These tumours can sit around for ages (or a lifetime). And the sad truth is, lots of people much younger than you have gone through “full blown” cancer and have gone on to live long and healthy lives.
Traumatized85
06-01-19, 17:49
Carys you haven’t been harsh at all. The last thing I need is someone to say there there to me .. it will only emvarouahe this negative thinking. I appreciate having an outsiders opinion on this to put some of it into perspective. I know 33 isn’t young like a child and my hhearr literally breaks thinking about children going through this as I have a 3 year old myself so I can’t even go there. But I just wish it didn’t happen when I should be at the prime of my life enjoying my husband and child and living life to the full. It also hurts me about the children thing. Bc like you said 33 isn’t that young when it comes to having more children.
These tumours can sit around for ages (or a lifetime) Now this is a very interesting comment, and one I'd like to pick up on. I had a high grade tumour ina very obvious place, but apparently some people do indeed have low-grade cancerous tumours for years or a lifetime without even knowing or getting treatment. If the tumours give no obvious symptoms and grow incredibly slowly and show no spreading signs/lymph node or vascular involvement then they can remain insitu and undetected for years and years and possibly forever. My surgeon said that some women that she saw had had low grade tumours for many years before seeking treatment.
But I just wish it didn’t happen when I should be at the prime of my life enjoying my husband and child and living life to the full.But it did happen....and its been dealt with....and you are still at the prime of your life and can be fully enjoying your husband and child and living life to the full. :)
Traumatized85
06-01-19, 17:52
Jojo yes I know .. we don’t know how long these things have been sitting in our bodies. I did have an abomdinal ultrasound done 1.5 years before this was found and Boone saw anything. Mine was picked up on an ultrasound bc it was 3.5cm. Maybe it was smaller 1.5 years ago? Or maybe the ultrasound wasn’t clear enough. I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have it picked up and would live in ignorance
---------- Post added at 17:52 ---------- Previous post was at 17:50 ----------
Carys yes this is true. They are now starting to advice against very frequent mammograms bc a lot of ppl have low grade things that would never harm a woman but once found obviously treatment needs doing which can be invasive.
Again I wish mine wasn’t so rare and I still look at my body defective which I know I need to work on
See, in my mind 'rare' would mean something different. Rare would mean there was an incredibly hugely unlikely chance in the first place, and you were unlucky, therefore it happening twice........billions to one. :D
Are you angry with your body for "letting you down"?
Missjensen
06-01-19, 18:07
I know its not the same, but Im 27 and had a pre cancerous polyp removed from my colon at 25, my Gastro Dr was very surprised and quite shocked as it is not normal at my age.
So I've been trough something similar, I had a week in bed crying waiting for my results, saying I would be so grateful if it was not cancer. I was not really grateful I was just angry and anxious at the situation. I had a month from the removal and my first sigmoidoscopy until my full colonoscopy where I felt alright. When I left the gastro clinic with a notion I needed a new checkup in 2-3 years time, the anxiety begun.
I had a year where I looked up serval genetic problem that could be the cause of this and could cause other cancers as well, I felt like my live was over and nothing mattered cause I was gonna die of some rare genetic cancer I felt broken and defected.
its now one years and a half year ago, and I rarely think about it anymore, I can't say what happened, but I chilled out somehow, It do pop up sometimes, and when its checkup time Im properly gonna be really anxious, but for now im ok.
This was such a experience to face! Yet here you are. On the other side!!
My sister had a oral cancer they couldn't even put a name to, they gave her lots of different treatments and just hoped for the best. Thankfully that was just over 12 years ago. When all of that was happening she said she decided if she get through it, nothing was going to stop her. Nothing did! She done so much for herself, she recently got married a few months ago... And let's say she's still on a honeymoon (5 months of travel!) and nothing holds her back.
My sister said she had to live with that uncertainty as they weren't sure what caused that to happen to her- a oral cancer at 18. Sometimes there is no awsners to these things! You got the unlucky card but thankful you've manged to hand that card back.
Like Carys excellent points above, that I've read a few times.
I wish you the best in 2019 x
hope4tomorrow
06-01-19, 20:15
Hi there...you spurred me to delurk. I can relate and I can console you here ..even if I too have to rein in my "skittishness" at times ( my reason for visiting here on and off..). I had a basal cell down below-on the edge of my labia about two and a half years ago. It's not common in that location and my risk factors were nil. I don't smoke, I'm under sixty, I had one CT and routine mammograms ( I've had another CT since for another reason).
I had to change doctors to get it treated which is,evidently, the way it often goes. The first gyn I saw for it dismissed it as an infected follicle after doing a swab and giving me cream for dermatitis. All of that was normal and the cream didn't help. She was set up to do a biopsy twice and then did not do it I hadn't been with her very long as my previous doctor left suddenly,. I was lucky that the office was very disorganized in other ways besides the missed diagnosis. This made me uneasy and I decided to see another gyn that other family members had used. That doctor didn't just do a biopsy. She excised the whole lesion with clear margins and I found out what it was. There are funner things that getting tissue carved out of you down there, but I was so grateful that it was getting OUT of there.
I was freaked out as I was half hoping Doctor #1 was right. But, I realized also that i was fortunate. This is a rare cancer for the vulva ( about 1-2%), but far better than the common type (squamous/HPV). Like most basal cells, it is unlikely to spread and can be cured by excision if you catch it. It was small. But, there is a chance for recurrence, so I have to monitor it. I chose to stay with the new doctor when she went to direct primary care because she was so responsive and I wanted her to follow up. She was quick to act, but also very practical. She stated she has seen this before and had one patient with recurrence. But, she treated again successfully with that lady.
I won't say that it hasn't affected me. I am always checking now and that definitely wasn't my pattern before. I am one of those who also deals with LPR ( lump in throat, mucous, irritated tongue, etc), so this seemed really a bit too much! I am fairly certain the source of that is stress ( I am a primary caregiver for my adult child who has severe autism and epilepsy), but it is a tricky thing to treat as some of you know. Sometimes, it wanes or waxes, but it doesn't leave. I take a PPI and see doctors periodically who test, but I still deal with it. To add to the stress, I am really nearsighted and dealt with PVD last year. Flashes in one eye and floaters in the other. But, I was lucky there too if I pause to think. My eyes were dilated five times, but I didn't have any complications like holes or tears. But, you really want to say....I need a break from worry! My sister and I both say we didn't appreciate the under 50 years enough! That's why I really hope the younger people here find a way to peace.
But, like the great posters here, I realize that everyone is dealing with something and many of their cases make mine look better ( I can't say enviable!). Even my son underlines this. My parents and some friends are dealing with tough diagnoses including cancer. I think i feel better when I help someone else..so here I am.
That is wonderful that your tumor was encapsulated and even better that it is gone! Now, they know what to look for. I was a little shaken by the serendipity that drove me to find another doctor after four months of stasis, but I need to look at that as luck!
This is such a good thread! Thank you to all who have posted and commented. My HA manifests around cancer, and it (believe or not) really helps me to read these comments :):):)
Pleased to hear that eshu :):):)
Traumatized85
10-01-19, 22:56
Thanks everyone for your responses. Hope4tomorrow I’m so glad you are in the clear and are doing good. Sarahnah I’m so glad your sister is living her life to the full.. good for her. I feel like I never will
I do feel like my body let me down and I feel defective. It is those two things that are making this all so unbearable for me. I feel so different to everyone especially bc of the rarity and my young age
I am having an especially horrible few days where I can’t get out of bed and crying constantly in fear. Does anyone have any words of hope, encouragement or any more positive stories? Believe me there is never such thing as too many positive stories when going through something like this :(
WiredIncorrectly
11-01-19, 03:47
Hi all
I have had a really horrific last 6 months. I developed health anxiety after my cousin got testicular cancer 2 years ago. And then I went for an ultrasound 6 months ago and they found a mass in between my pancreas and stomach. I had a lot of testing done and they couldn’t figure out what it was. They did a biopsy FNA and they said it was benign. I then had surgery to remove it. They again said it was benign but couldn’t figure out what it was. Finally they sent it somewhere else and realised it wasn’t benign. There were some patchy mild Atypia but it was fully encapsulated and very low grade. My life the last 6 months has been nothing short of pure hell. I don’t know who to go to or what to do. I have a 3 year old and I can’t function. I feel like no one knows what I’m going through but at the same time I don’t want pity. I have felt so different to everyone as I’m only 33 and was diagnosed with a very very rare tumor. Thankfully it hadn’t spread was very low grade and they don’t think it will come back but I have to have mris for a few years. My health anxiety is at a level I can’t even explain. I guess I’m just on here to get some support as I’m so lost.
Has anyone here been through anything similar? I don’t know how to carry on with my life after this. I don’t want to trigger anyone but pls can someone help me?
I know exactly what you are going through. I had Testicle Cancer 5 years ago. I'm still not over that. It made me see life so different ... as if my protection bubble was burst and I'm forever exposed to the rawness of what life really is. And it's not something you can ever forget either.
I don't have a future. I don't plan for anything. I don't save. I have no mortgage. I have no debts. Lost 2 of the closest family members possible to Cancer past 2 years too.
That's what Cancer did to me. It made me realize that at any moment life can be snapped away from you. Which makes me enjoy life ... to the best of my ability.
I partly didn't want to respond to this thread because I don't really have anything positive to say in terms of it will get better mentally because HA + a Cancer diagnosis is as bad as it gets.
I'm still waiting on my therapy to deal with this :(
At any moment anybody's life can be snapped away from them. Every single person around you has that possibility, that is the reality that is human life. Most people however don't spend lots of time thinking about that, because if the risk of living was thought about constantly each and every day then it would be unbearable. I view myself as no different to anyone else - with the same risks, just that I was reminded of mortality at the point of having cancer. It has now gone.
WiredIncorrectly
11-01-19, 11:18
At any moment anybody's life can be snapped away from them. Every single person around you has that possibility, that is the reality that is human life. Most people however don't spend lots of time thinking about that, because if the risk of living was thought about constantly each and every day then it would be unbearable. I view myself as no different to anyone else - with the same risks, just that I was reminded of mortality at the point of having cancer. It has now gone.
I really wish I could see life that way. But, the death of my Dad, and my grandad, and my own Cancer shows what's going to happen to me. I won't make it past 55 put it that way. Not unless there's a cure before I get to around 48.
Traumatized85
11-01-19, 11:39
Yikes. This is my fear that I will never move passed this for the rest of my life :(
I won't make it past 55 put it that way.
Why do you think that wiredincorrectly? Apologies if I am mis-reading your post, but you 'had' cancer and no longer have cancer?
Traumatized85
11-01-19, 13:26
Yes I’d also like to know that. Is this based on fear or a doctor has said that to you?
WiredIncorrectly
11-01-19, 14:58
Why do you think that wiredincorrectly? Apologies if I am mis-reading your post, but you 'had' cancer and no longer have cancer?
Yes I had Cancer. I am Cancer free now. The reason why I say I won't make it beyond 55 is because my Dad and his Dad both died around the same age from the same Cancer very young (55).
I might be lucky and my Cancer could be totally unrelated and it skips me, but the statistics are not really in my favour.
It doesn't affect my life in that I obsess over it. I've accepted it. On the positive side of things I'm alive today, and for that I am grateful and happy about :)
Traumatized85
11-01-19, 15:39
My cousin got testicular cancer 2 years ago. It was stage 4 when he got diagnosed. He is doing well and cancer free and the docs had said to him even with stage 4 he had a 99% cure rare with very low recurrence rate. I’m not sure the medical details of your father and grandfather but testicular cancer is a very curable disease
---------- Post added at 15:39 ---------- Previous post was at 15:36 ----------
I was also reading about a particular thyroid cancer called nift-p that has been downgraded from cancer to not cancer due to it’s full encapsulation. I know mine wasn’t thyroid cancer but mine was fully encapsulated. This can give me some hope right?
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 14:53
Anyone?
You honestly have every reason to have high hope about your future, but then I've said that on PM as well ;o) If I was you I would honestly be feeling pleased that the cells were caught at an early stage, in the situation and 'condition' they were removed. Encapsulated means that it was neatly localised, with fibrous tissue (I think fibrous?!) surrounding it. I'm sure they would have taken nice clear margins on the tumour that they removed, and therefore all looks very good. :)
I agree with Carys. They found an anomaly. It wasn't cancer and it was removed. Threat eliminated.(period)
At this point, all you're doing is feeding the dragon by reading stories on the internet. Being a survivor, I would be jumping for joy at the results you've had!
I think real life professional help is in order. Anyone who goes through a medical issue can suffer mental side effects. I did and I'm not a sufferer. It helped tremendously.
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 15:45
Thank you both. FMP why do you say it wasn’t cancer? I mean this is a genuine question bc my granddad is a radiologist and also says the same thing but I don’t understand?
Yes I’m going to have therapy soon I think just on waiting list. Why kind of things did they say to you that helped? Right now I can’t imagine anything helping
The other issue is that I have been having pelvic pain. I had a ct scan of my chest abdomen and pelvis 2.5 months ago which was all clear and they said the tumor sight had healed well from surgery and no evidence of recurrence but about 2 weeks after the scan I started to get very bad pelvic pain and pain on urination. I had a cystoscopy and they found mild interstitial cystitis which could be explaining the pain but I’m getting back pain and I’m convinced it’s a tumor or something. I had a pelvic transabdominal ultrasound 6 weeks ago and they said my uterus ovaries were fine and no adnexal masses found
I’m due for an mri to check on things but I wanna move it up bc of my symptoms and I’m just terrified. It’s unlikely to be anything sinister if the ct and ultrasound were clear right? I’m such a mess. This mri is making things so much harder for me
Thank you both. FMP why do you say it wasn’t cancer? I mean this is a genuine question bc my granddad is a radiologist and also says the same thing but I don’t understand?
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
They found cells that were abnormal but not cancerous. It really is as simple as that. Like I said previously, had they not found this, you probably would live your life unabated. Since the cells were abnormal, they erred on the side of caution and removed them eliminating the slight chance they could become cancerous. Threat eliminated. Think of it like a dodgy mole they remove to eliminate any treat. Enjoy your cancer free life!
Positive thoughts
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 16:01
But I thought atypical cells are cancerous? They didn’t say my tumor was premalignant
I'll add a reply, but I'm sure FMP will have additional things to say (seeing as the questions were aimed at him). Atypical cells aren't cancer cells, they 'could' in some cases become cancer cells, in some cases they may not. In some cases atypical cells may reverse spontanesouly or be treated to turn them back to typical cells. There are lots of reasons for cells to be atypical, even things like infections or inflammation (or look a bit unusual compared to normal cells, but do not look like cancer cells) and by the sound of it, they removed the whole mass in your case and did a full biopsy report. This biopsy report, from what you have mentioned, didn't say there was cancer present....but of course there was always the possibility that they could have become cancer and some of the atypical cells could have been heading in that direction. You mentioned to me that you had a 'very rare cancer' but also say that they were 'patchy mild Atypia', so do you know with certainty which it was reported as being? Patchy mild atypia of a low grade would indicate that there was little change to the cells and in a localised area there were also normal cells mixed in.
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 16:06
It comes under a cancer diagnosis the name of which I’m so uncomfortable to talk about Incase someone says something to trigger as I have not googled the name at all only my husband has. Basically there are mild versions like mine or aggressive versions of the same diagnosis which spreads and needs chemo etc. Bc it’s so rare they don’t know much about this particular tumor they are currently doing genetic research and so far have found that there are genetic differences between the two types. Twenty years ago my diagnosis used to be benign but bc cases came about where it was aggressive and spread they put it under a cancer diagnosis again.
My tumor was 3.5cm encapsulated well circumscribed with patchy mild atypical cells. No tumor necrosis I’m not sure about the mitotic activitt. People who had the encapsulated version had bigger tumor sizes ones that went up to 10cm or more so it means this tumor does grow very big but even at the bigger size it didn’t invade
I think bc of all this I’m very confused about everything. My grandfather said bc it was encapsulated and well circumscribed and hypoechoic meaning there wasn’t much solid in the tumor it was basically benign and two biopsies thought it was benign and then finally they found the patchy atypical cells and put it under this diagnosis
I think some of your questions need to be directed to the consultant involved in your care, as clearly it is a very specific situation and there seems some confusion and uncertainty about the biopsy results? Why does your grandad (the radiographer) say it wasn't cancer?
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 16:13
There was confusion bc it looked so benign and they couldn’t figure out what it was as there were many different types of cells in it. However they sent it to different hospitals and finally they came up with this diagnosis. So I have had basically a third opinion on it. My consultant isn’t the most compassionate and very short and sharp with me and doesn’t really take my anxiety into consideration unfortunately but at the same time he is a very good surgeon. The best that we know so that’s why I go to him. I just wish he was more compassionate. He basically said it’s like a cancer but not like the full blown ones like lymphoma, pancreatic cancer etc but it still doesn’t make any sense to me
OK, so 'like a cancer' but not quite a cancer, it sounds unusual yes and hard to imagine without knowing the actual diagnosis. You know what though, either way, its gone.....gone!
I think a few of us have tried to give you an insight into the ways we coped with this type of diagnosis, and I don't mean this at all rudely, but I think until you get your talking therapy underway its going to be hard for you to understand where and how we come at the angle we do. Happy to continue on the thread, but when you say 'I don't think anything anybody will say will make a difference' I think that is because the problem is your thought processes on this issue, and it all needs untangling by someone.
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 16:30
Yes I know carys your right. Not rude at all. I really appreciate your advice and the incredible amount of positivity you have all given me. Believe me it has helped a lot and gives me hope.
Pls send positive vibes for my upcoming mri as with this pelvic pain going on I am truly petrified.
Pls send positive vibes for my upcoming mri as with this pelvic pain going on I am truly petrified.
Absolutely, of course ! Having had one experience like this I can understand why you are petrified. When did you say it was, the MRI?
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 16:37
Hopefully next week. I just don’t know what could be causing this pelvic pain. One doc said pelvic dysfunction. I just hope it’s not serious.
Just a question, traumatized...you mentioned the biopsy found "atypia" encapsulated. Is that the same as cancer? Or do you just have some abnormal cells?
I am trying to understand the situation here. I've had a minor cancer (just a skin cancer), as well as more instances of abnormal cells than I care to talk about-- numerous skin biopsies, plus a breast lump. I went through a period of wondering why my body was "doing this" but I don't really think about it anymore. I accept it. Cells go haywire and, if it causes problems, you deal with it then. It sounds like your cells did go haywire, but in the best possible way-- not a full blown cancer, and not high grade. Plus, your immune system walled it off, and did exactly what it is supposed to do. It is suspected that EVERYONE as small amounts of cancer at one point or another that the body handles without anyone ever knowing. Some cases get out of control. Yours, it seems, was managed by biology.
It is suspected that EVERYONE as small amounts of cancer at one point or another that the body handles without anyone ever knowing.I've heard the very same ! Cancer cells exist in most people all the time, but they are recognised as cancer cells and killed by the immune system without us even knowing. It is when that doesn't happen, and they aren't recognised as cancer cells that they become a problem. This is why Immunotherapy is such an exciting and incredibly hopeful current route that cancer research is currently taking, as it harnesses the ability of the body to recognise and fight cancer cells. Just imagine.....the human body being able to fight cancer without damaging and brutal chemotherapy and radiotherapy? Donate to cancer research guys! :)
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 16:58
Nervus this is exactly what I don’t know. They said it was atypica but I’m sure there are other factors such as staining etc that determine the diagnosis but my tumor fell into a particular cancerous diagnosis but like I said they are still doing research as there are two different types of presentation with this cancer - mild and aggressive.
And I get what you’re saying about the immune system etc and I’m incredibly lucky that it was encapsulated but like you used to think - I question why did my body do this? I have read that the human body does produce cancer cells everyday but the immune system kills them off. They’re not supposed to form a tumor :( so I have also been questioning my immune system to be ho eat. What was your breast lump may I ask? I assume benign?
---------- Post added at 16:58 ---------- Previous post was at 16:57 ----------
Then I think what on earth is wrong with my immune system? At the age of 33?!
There's a pretty good chance the pelvic pain is associated with some type of pelvic dysfunction, especially if you've had kids. Ever since my daughter was born 4 years ago I've had some burning with urination any time I don't drink enough water. It's like an immediate warning sign that I'm dehydrated. Also, more recently I've started getting sharp/tight/tenderness type pain in my lower abdomen the day after my period ends for about a week (through ovulation). I plan to bring it up with my obgyn at my annual next month but my guess is that when my cervix goes back up after my period it's creating more pressure since I absolutely have pelvic floor dysfunction since childbirth and everything is kind of drooping down.
Traumatized85
12-01-19, 17:50
Erinkc yes I feel like a heaviness and droopiness in my pelvis. I have had a pelvic exam and they looked at my cervix and said it was fine ? One of my docs said it may be related to constipation since my Ibs is really bad right now.
Traumatized85
22-01-19, 13:17
Well just got my mri abdomen/pelvis and chest x Ray and all clear!! Hooray!
Hooray!!!!!
And how are you feeling?
Traumatized85
22-01-19, 15:46
I’m feeling very relieved .. I was convinced they were gonna find something. I’ve been having really bad lower right back pain almost like sciatica so I was scared but very relieved now
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.