Carlton
05-01-19, 19:24
Well, not that my CA fears have gone away.
I started Sertraline 17 days ago, after being off anti-Ds for a month, a very bad month in which I was severely depressed, crying constantly, in a heightened state of panic, and having suicidal thoughts.
My main recent CA fears have been due to the blood I had in my urine in Sept, on the 4th, and again in Nov, on the 13th and 14th. None since then, but every time I go I am worried I will see blood again. I literally worry about it constantly since I drink about 5 liters of water a day, no joke, and therefore go the bathroom all the time. I was checked by a urologist that did the full invasive workup on me looking for CA but nothing was found which of course means that I have no reason for having had blood, and the uncertainty just messes with my head nonstop since blood in urine is such a high predictor of urinary tract CA. Just typing that makes me sick to my stomach.
Now, since I started the Sertraline, 50 mg the first week, 100 mg the last 10 days, I have lost 10-12 pounds in those 17 days, despite eating normally. The sudden dramatic weight loss coupled with my already present CA anxiety has sent me to another level of worry. I always have a hard time losing weight, and have not done so on other antidepressants. In fact, I always read about people gaining weight on these meds, not losing it.
The Sertraline is also making me jittery, and maybe more anxious, yet has eliminated the ability to cry and feel sadness, and I am very worried about death, but not having bad thoughts about self harm anymore. My sleep is weird. I just feel awful overall, anxious but numb, scared, but tired.
Doc says I have to give this med a solid month or more to see if it can truly work on the OCD HA thoughts, but of course in the meanwhile, I am worried that it isn't HA, but real CA that's been missed and is killing me. I just don't know how to calm down anymore, and I'm mentally at the end of my tether.
I started Sertraline 17 days ago, after being off anti-Ds for a month, a very bad month in which I was severely depressed, crying constantly, in a heightened state of panic, and having suicidal thoughts.
My main recent CA fears have been due to the blood I had in my urine in Sept, on the 4th, and again in Nov, on the 13th and 14th. None since then, but every time I go I am worried I will see blood again. I literally worry about it constantly since I drink about 5 liters of water a day, no joke, and therefore go the bathroom all the time. I was checked by a urologist that did the full invasive workup on me looking for CA but nothing was found which of course means that I have no reason for having had blood, and the uncertainty just messes with my head nonstop since blood in urine is such a high predictor of urinary tract CA. Just typing that makes me sick to my stomach.
Now, since I started the Sertraline, 50 mg the first week, 100 mg the last 10 days, I have lost 10-12 pounds in those 17 days, despite eating normally. The sudden dramatic weight loss coupled with my already present CA anxiety has sent me to another level of worry. I always have a hard time losing weight, and have not done so on other antidepressants. In fact, I always read about people gaining weight on these meds, not losing it.
The Sertraline is also making me jittery, and maybe more anxious, yet has eliminated the ability to cry and feel sadness, and I am very worried about death, but not having bad thoughts about self harm anymore. My sleep is weird. I just feel awful overall, anxious but numb, scared, but tired.
Doc says I have to give this med a solid month or more to see if it can truly work on the OCD HA thoughts, but of course in the meanwhile, I am worried that it isn't HA, but real CA that's been missed and is killing me. I just don't know how to calm down anymore, and I'm mentally at the end of my tether.