sanvers
07-01-19, 11:49
Hey guys,
To give you some background, i’m a 20 year old female with social anxiety, general anxiety, depression and hypochondria. I’ve always had terrible hypochondria but overall over the last couple of years it died down a little and sort of was in the background...but recently is a different story. I’ve just moved about 200 miles away from home and it’s made me spiral again. I’ve been here for about three months and over the course of that time, I’ve convinced myself that I have rosacea, lymphoma, heart failure, a zinc deficiency, hair loss, lupus and more. It all started when I got sick quite bad with a flu/cold and felt rubbish, coughed up a tiny bit of bloody phlegm and freaked out. Me, being me, I called the emergency room and made an appointment for 4am and dragged my roommate with me. Apart from high blood pressure caused by anxiety...I was apparently all good. I just can’t get it out of my head that my body is consistently about to shut down on me. I’ve had two lumps appear around my ears. They’re small and most likely cystic acne that hasn’t shifted or just cysts but I think I’m dying of lymphoma and I feel them CONSTANTLY. Because of this, I’ve always had two really hard lumps in my left cheek ever since I was little and other ones under my chin on my neck. I know there’s nothing wrong because they’ve been there forever and I’ve had blood tests before when they were present and I was fine...I just add them up with the new lumps and disaster. I’ve also got beau’s lines on my big toenails which I know is because of my terrible diet and emotional stress the past while (my parents suddenly divorced). It feels like I’m stuck on a roundabout and I can’t get off. I’m obsessed with finding something wrong with me and if I don’t then I’ll find something. And don’t get me started on going to the doctors because I’m convinced I’m dying and if I go they’ll just confirm my suspicions!! I remember I made my parents drag me to the doctor when I was about 11 because I had hard lumps under my arms (lymph nodes) and I thought it was cancer. I ran into the parking lot when it was my turn to go in. I’m also obsessed with weighing myself because I’m scared in case I lose weight.
Not really sure what I posted this for, just need a good rant with people who don’t think I’m insane and wondered if you had any similar experience and advice.
Happy new year to you all.
To give you some background, i’m a 20 year old female with social anxiety, general anxiety, depression and hypochondria. I’ve always had terrible hypochondria but overall over the last couple of years it died down a little and sort of was in the background...but recently is a different story. I’ve just moved about 200 miles away from home and it’s made me spiral again. I’ve been here for about three months and over the course of that time, I’ve convinced myself that I have rosacea, lymphoma, heart failure, a zinc deficiency, hair loss, lupus and more. It all started when I got sick quite bad with a flu/cold and felt rubbish, coughed up a tiny bit of bloody phlegm and freaked out. Me, being me, I called the emergency room and made an appointment for 4am and dragged my roommate with me. Apart from high blood pressure caused by anxiety...I was apparently all good. I just can’t get it out of my head that my body is consistently about to shut down on me. I’ve had two lumps appear around my ears. They’re small and most likely cystic acne that hasn’t shifted or just cysts but I think I’m dying of lymphoma and I feel them CONSTANTLY. Because of this, I’ve always had two really hard lumps in my left cheek ever since I was little and other ones under my chin on my neck. I know there’s nothing wrong because they’ve been there forever and I’ve had blood tests before when they were present and I was fine...I just add them up with the new lumps and disaster. I’ve also got beau’s lines on my big toenails which I know is because of my terrible diet and emotional stress the past while (my parents suddenly divorced). It feels like I’m stuck on a roundabout and I can’t get off. I’m obsessed with finding something wrong with me and if I don’t then I’ll find something. And don’t get me started on going to the doctors because I’m convinced I’m dying and if I go they’ll just confirm my suspicions!! I remember I made my parents drag me to the doctor when I was about 11 because I had hard lumps under my arms (lymph nodes) and I thought it was cancer. I ran into the parking lot when it was my turn to go in. I’m also obsessed with weighing myself because I’m scared in case I lose weight.
Not really sure what I posted this for, just need a good rant with people who don’t think I’m insane and wondered if you had any similar experience and advice.
Happy new year to you all.