View Full Version : Did a specific event in your life cause your Health Anxiety to start?
BrightPhoenix
15-01-19, 09:32
Hi all. Figured I'd start a discussion with everyone that isn't us worrying about our symptoms (don't worry, I have another post queued up in the future for that).
So for some of us, it may be that we just suddenly started having it, but did any of you start getting Health Anxiety because of a specific event in your life or something happening to "trigger" it?
To ensure that we don't freak each other out, I'll be as generic as possible for me.
Up until I hit 21 I was generally okay. I was a bit of a worrywart but I generally was able to deal with it fine. However, my mother, who was still very young (in her 50s), fell ill with something. Apparently it was something that she got decades ago but decided to rear its ugly head all of a sudden. Our family, not familiar with the way things works, and also without a form of stable insurance (thanks America!) chalked it up to my mother just overworking herself - none of us knew better.
A month later, she ends up going to the doctor because she got worse, and then we learned what it was. Several months of struggle to take care of her and eventually she passes.
During this period I suffer my first panic attack, while also worrying about possibly having all sorts of ailments, but all related to being stressed 100% of the time about my mom's health and my own. My panic attack was so bad I rushed myself to the ER and that was when I was referred to a therapist.
After my mom passed I've been in a constant state of "Could we have done something? Could we have known? How could we have known?" sorta deal - what if we had it checked out earlier?
Ever since then, I had an unreasonable fear of getting some sort of undiagnosed ailment and suffering from it. I was a thorn in my side to my doctors repeatedly and have gone through the whole gamut of worrying about if I had this ailment, or that ailment, or this disease, or that disease. I would find myself constantly going to the doctor and spending entire months to two months worrying about all sorts of conditions. If my doctor told me "Hey, this looks kind of funny, eh, not a big deal" I would end up internalizing it and remembering it for *weeks*.
My current doctor understands my health anxiety and sometimes has to remind me that my HA is making me worry too much, but she does try to accommodate me if I have enough of a concern about something.
What about the rest of you? Did something happen that may have "turned on" the health anxiety switch?
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I think it’s normal that you worry after suffering a trauma like that. Are you in any sort of therapy?
Yup. Brother passed away very unexpectedly from a (treatable) undiagnosed health issue at 25. Cue my rapidly spiraling health anxiety.
So sorry you went through that! Very scary and sad!
Mine was more a combination of things:
(1) I grew up with a mom who had health anxiety
(2) I had a traumatic emergency surgery in 2011 that caused a very temporary spike in anxiety
(3) Giving birth to my daughter sparked severe postpartum anxiety that, because of (1) and (2) manifested in severe health anxiety
BrightPhoenix
15-01-19, 18:00
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I think it’s normal that you worry after suffering a trauma like that. Are you in any sort of therapy?
I've been on and off therapy for years. The problem is I could never find a therapist as accommodating as the first one I had. He listened to all my problems and could be called up during reasonable times of the day.
I find that these other therapists take 1-2 days to respond and had unflexible schedules, whereas my old therapist could see me at 6:30 PM in the evening after work, which made it so much easier to get these appointments.
I'm still looking for a good one but I don't know what resource to look up. Is there a "vitals.com" for therapists with patient ratings by area/region? My health insurance has a page for a list of therapists but I hate having to go into these unknown.
I'm still looking for a good one but I don't know what resource to look up. Is there a "vitals.com" for therapists with patient ratings by area/region? My health insurance has a page for a list of therapists but I hate having to go into these unknown.
Yes, Pyschology Today has a great resource for finding therapists. You can search by area and speciality and it'll show what insurance they take, etc...
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
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I don't think they have reviews, but there's good info and you can ways Google individual ones to see if there are any reviews
BrightPhoenix
15-01-19, 18:21
Thanks. I'm not a fan of being sent to "associates" where which therapist I end up with is entirely dependent on the time of day and when I call these folks. I've seen this website but didn't know it was an authorative list for therapists in the US.
Yeah, I found out about it because my friend who is a PhD neuropsychologist told me it's the best place to look. I found my current therapist on here.
But yes, it's still good to some digging about the person. And it depends on so many factors. My first therapist a recommendation from someone and I loved her but hey availability wasn't great. My current on I found on there but it was like you said, they paired me with one who was available. But, I love her! She was new the practice so had a light schedule. I was able to get a regular biweekly appointment and she's always available on email and frequently sends me articles or other things she comes across that remind her of and she thinks may help or be relevant to my anxiety.
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Sorry for all the typos, I'm on my phone!
I had no specific event I don't think, but as a child I was diagnosed with a heart murmur and sent for an echo. All came back fine, and as I grew up the murmur went away, but I suspect that at least explains why a majority (but not all) of my HA episodes and panics have revolved around heart fears.
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Havefaithx
15-01-19, 19:28
Yes two things the first post natal depression and the second I had an ectopic pregnancy and ended up seriously poorly.
Yep
My son was killed in a car accident aged 29.
His daughter aged 2 had been murdered 12 months before that.
Oh Phill. I’m so sorry.
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KatieJayne
15-01-19, 21:27
Yes for me. A pregnancy loss that was managed badly by the NHS, with a lot of conflicting advice/results and a very lengthy process. I now don’t trust anything and I feel a huge need to protect myself from any harm in advance - hence endless googling!
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Yes two things the first post natal depression and the second I had an ectopic pregnancy and ended up seriously poorly.
That is just like me. So sorry you went through this.
Angelica Schuyler
15-01-19, 22:29
I know how it all started for me, too. I had cancer when I was a teenager, and developed hypochondria while in college. It was managed well by medication until my mother died rather suddenly almost two years ago. Now I can't stop thinking that I have an illness that will kill me quickly, too.
Personally, I was always more anxious as a child. I had a severe phobia of vomiting, which almost manifested as health anxiety. But, certainly nothing too major until the death of my grandmother.
Maybe don't read this section if you have a fear of death
I was only 11 years old at the time, but my grandmother was hospitalised with COPD. Long story short, her condition deteriorated and, to put it bluntly, they shipped her into a side room.
We got the call that day to go to the hospital as her condition had worsened. She was in a sort of coma, and we just sat with her until about 2am. At this time, we heard the horrendous 'death rattle' and she passed away not long after.
To put it mildly - that destroyed, terrified, shook me up....can't describe it for a LONG time after. I remember not long after I took what was probably a panic attack (although not a full blown one, but VERY close to it).
So I believe this is what triggered it - seeing first hand the transition from life to death, at such a young age. And it has scarred me.
Nearly 15 years later, I still miss my grandmother dearly :weep:
Hello, sorry to hear about your mum.
Mine is similar. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 15 and she was 38. She survived because it was caught early.
But we went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy, she lost a breast. I watched her go through it all.
I believe my health anxiety started with my young, healthy mum going through cancer.
Now I am 34 and I've been through so many fears and each time convinced myself this time I have it.
Sending love to all of you. This is not easy what we're going through.
I've thought about this a lot and I think it comes down to two things:
1) My Mum is a very anxious person. She's practically scared of most things, which in turn makes me think it rubbed off on.
2) I remember when I was around 12/13, the daughter to a friend of my Mum was diagnosed with cancer. I remember the thought of being shocked someone so young could get it (as I'd never considered it before) and that started off my anxiety.
Yep
My son was killed in a car accident aged 29.
His daughter aged 2 had been murdered 12 months before that.
So sorry to hear this Phil.
Purple Blood
15-01-19, 23:18
I was getting frequent nosebleeds(well not really nosebleeds,just blood when I blew my nose) around this time last year,so I began worrying about my health more than usual.The nosebleeds stopped eventually but shortly after I got the flu.I went to the doctor during the examination she thought she felt "something" on my abdomen...It turned out to be just fat but after that I just spiraled.I thought it really was something sinister and she just dismissed it,the thought really scared me.I've had health anxiety ever since,I think it's mostly fueled by my stress about other things,I'm trying not to fixate on it too much though...It was really bad during the summer,I was staring at my thighs all day long looking for bruises or petechiae:roflmao:
I was getting frequent nosebleeds(well not really nosebleeds,just blood when I blew my nose) around this time last year,so I began worrying about my health more than usual.The nosebleeds stopped eventually but shortly after I got the flu.I went to the doctor during the examination she thought she felt "something" on my abdomen...It turned out to be just fat but after that I just spiraled.I thought it really was something sinister and she just dismissed it,the thought really scared me.I've had health anxiety ever since,I think it's mostly fueled by my stress about other things,I'm trying not to fixate on it too much though...It was really bad during the summer,I was staring at my thighs all day long looking for bruises or petechiae:roflmao:
Thanks guys
As they say "IT" happens.
BrightPhoenix
17-01-19, 00:30
Wow Phill, so, so sorry to hear. You're a strong person to be able to live on through all that.
So it seems quite common that challenging pregnancies/pregnancies with problems and loved ones passing suddenly from illness (or experiencing a scary illness ourselves earlier in our childhood)
Glad to see we're all not alone. Many condolences to those who have lost loved ones.
Sorry to hear about your mum. Having that kind of trauma at a young age must've been difficult.
Mines started 13 years ago. My son was around 8 weeks old when i started getting this weird pain in my chest and back. It was so severe it made me throw up. The pain would last for around 8hrs and always through the night. I went to see the Dr and they said it was indigestion/acid reflux and gave me stomach tablets. The pain kept happening like twice a month until it started happening every other night. I went back to Dr and they put me on a different stomach tablet. Fast forward another year of pain and i went back to the Drs and they said to buy some gaviscon. The pain started happening every night and got so bad i couldn't stand straight. I drove myself to hospital at 3am on a winters night in 2012 exactly 7 years from the first time i got the pains. I had an emergency scan that showed i had a very large gallstone and a small one that was lodged into my pancreas causing pancreatitis. I had emergency surgery but completely lost all faith in my Drs. That is the root cause now of my health anxiety.
Sorry to hear about your mum. Having that kind of trauma at a young age must've been difficult.
Mines started 13 years ago. My son was around 8 weeks old when i started getting this weird pain in my chest and back. It was so severe it made me throw up. The pain would last for around 8hrs and always through the night. I went to see the Dr and they said it was indigestion/acid reflux and gave me stomach tablets. The pain kept happening like twice a month until it started happening every other night. I went back to Dr and they put me on a different stomach tablet. Fast forward another year of pain and i went back to the Drs and they said to buy some gaviscon. The pain started happening every night and got so bad i couldn't stand straight. I drove myself to hospital at 3am on a winters night in 2012 exactly 7 years from the first time i got the pains. I had an emergency scan that showed i had a very large gallstone and a small one that was lodged into my pancreas causing pancreatitis. I had emergency surgery but completely lost all faith in my Drs. That is the root cause now of my health anxiety.
Wow that’s crazy! As soon as I read your first sentence I thought it was your gall bladder. I am really not surprised that you developed anxiety over it. But have you received help for it?
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Sorry to hear about your mum. Having that kind of trauma at a young age must've been difficult.
Mines started 13 years ago. My son was around 8 weeks old when i started getting this weird pain in my chest and back. It was so severe it made me throw up. The pain would last for around 8hrs and always through the night. I went to see the Dr and they said it was indigestion/acid reflux and gave me stomach tablets. The pain kept happening like twice a month until it started happening every other night. I went back to Dr and they put me on a different stomach tablet. Fast forward another year of pain and i went back to the Drs and they said to buy some gaviscon. The pain started happening every night and got so bad i couldn't stand straight. I drove myself to hospital at 3am on a winters night in 2012 exactly 7 years from the first time i got the pains. I had an emergency scan that showed i had a very large gallstone and a small one that was lodged into my pancreas causing pancreatitis. I had emergency surgery but completely lost all faith in my Drs. That is the root cause now of my health anxiety.
My HA started as a young child when a girl at my school got a brain tumor and it was a huge deal. I also was phobic of puking early on and that caused me a lot of anxiety. Still does actually.
But this particular situation you mentioned above also happened to me and it took countless doctors and minsdiagnosises over a 4 year period for them to finally say it was my gallbladder, which I had mentioned so many times and been told NO. By the time they figured it out I was extremely sick on a daily basis and in horrific pain. I had surgery within days of the diagnosis but I ended up with a stone stuck in my bile duct and hospitalized for a while after. Had someone just listened to me or taken me serious, I could have avoided 4 years of misery and getting to the point I was. My recovery was brutal and I still suffer at times. It made me lose all faith in doctors and I always fear I’m being misdiagnosed or ignored. Thankfully that wasn’t something that killed me but what if it’s somethibg that can at some point?
Bittersweet05
17-01-19, 22:41
Mine was from my dad passing 6 years ago. I had to shovel the driveway and i got a bad upper respiratory infection when i couldn't breath. So over consumed with my breathing the next day my dad died. It was the combination of both that hit me. I've had HA and GAD as well ever since.
glassgirlw
18-01-19, 02:05
When I was 11, my grandfather had an aneurysm in his chest. I was in the room with him when he passed. I was very close to him, he was like my dad. Over the next several years I developed a drug addiction. Started out mild...escalated to meth. Ended up having a whopping panic attack while coming down off a high and landed in the ER. Have had HA ever since. But on a brighter note, it also got me sober. :winks:
Meriland30
18-01-19, 03:16
mine is kinda a odd story. Me and my sister were watching Selena when I was about 5 years old. Toward the end, I had this sudden wave of panic wash over me. I felt as though I was dizzy and about to pass out. I sat up, looked at my sister, and then proceeded to run up the stairs hyperventilating. i ran into my moms arms who had no idea what was going on so she took me to the nearest clinic. There, they diagnosed me with a panic disorder. It's been a crappy rollercoaster ride ever since
mine is kinda a odd story. Me and my sister were watching Selena when I was about 5 years old. Toward the end, I had this sudden wave of panic wash over me. I felt as though I was dizzy and about to pass out. I sat up, looked at my sister, and then proceeded to run up the stairs hyperventilating. i ran into my moms arms who had no idea what was going on so she took me to the nearest clinic. There, they diagnosed me with a panic disorder. It's been a crappy rollercoaster ride ever since
I feel for you starting so young with such a crappy disorder.
BrightPhoenix
18-01-19, 05:10
Loggie05 & breezie:
This is like the "worst case situation" for us health anxiety sufferers. We are always afraid that little things go undiagnosed and then bam, something that could've been treated easily becomes a big deal. We get doctors, ones we should *trust* telling us "oh it's just anxiety" and "oh it's not a big deal" and it frustrates us. It's always the "It's most likely anxiety, BUT WHAT IF?!" that gets us.
I'm dealing with a case of it myself right now and it's driving me crazy. I've already been to the GP/PCP early this month and talked to a neuro about it in passing last week but I guess what really gets our anxiety going is the *persistence* of the symptoms we suffer. The fact that it won't "go away" makes us doubt ourselves.
Good on both of you to be able to pull through your situations.
Worrywart84
18-01-19, 05:30
This is an interesting question.
I have had anxiety since childhood, but at that time, it wasn’t necessarily “health” anxiety but just a series of worries about literally everything. Some of it was worrying about the death of loved ones, but maybe because I didn’t have Google or the mental capacity to interpret symptoms and have knowledge about what they could be, I wasn’t necessarily focused on health anxiety. I also thought doctors were magical geniuses who always knew what they were doing.
I think as I got older and saw some doctors who were clueless, got access to the internet, it just transformed to health anxiety.
But I never had a traumatic experience that some describe here. Which by the way, I am very sorry for what several of you have had to go through.
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Oh forgot to add:
I have been told by a therapist that health anxiety can stem from a desire to control things and not necessarily about “heath”. Similar to how an eating disorder is rooted more in control than it is about food.
So I can see that for myself is that my personality wishes to have everything fully controlled, no surprises, no uncertainty. I want to know I have a full life ahead of me and I can die in my 90s. I want someone to tell me for certain that will happen. Is that so much to ask? ;)
So I can see that for myself is that my personality wishes to have everything fully controlled, no surprises, no uncertainty. I want to know I have a full life ahead of me and I can die in my 90s. I want someone to tell me for certain that will happen. Is that so much to ask? ;)
This definitely contributes to mine as well! I absolutely hate not being in control. I hate surprises so much. I want to be able to anticipate the outcome of something and understand it completely. I never thought of myself as a control freak until I started seeing a therapist and during one of our sessions it finally dawned on me. I think that's why death scares me so much - it's the ultimate unknown. And our health, of course, is never completely in our control. With basically anything else, if I want to know something I can find the answer, but with symptoms and illness it's impossible to know.
Incidentally, this is also why I can't think about the vastness of the universe for too long without getting completely freaked out. Mt 4 year old once asked me "does the sky end," and I legit almost had a panic attack trying to wrap my brain around the question. :roflmao:
BrightPhoenix
18-01-19, 05:41
It has been known that if you are prone to general anxiety that it makes you very suceptible to *health* anxiety. I was an anxious kid during my middle and high school days and I was very risk-adverse. I'm a guy and I always thought my guy friends did silly things (you know all those high risk activities kids do during those years) that I did not want to be near.
The strange thing is - much like you I never had health anxiety until what happened with my mother. Before then every little ailment I had was very predictable. Flus, colds, occasional stomach problem, etc. I think what I went through with my mom made me hyper-aware of our mortality, and because of that it pretty much has put me in a state of perpetual health anxiety.
I would have years where I don't have that anxiety, but the moment something funky with my body happens, I'd get into these periods from 1 month to another year of worrying about my health because of things that won't "go away".
I probably should see a therapist myself to try to deal with my "hyper awareness" of the human condition. You may be right, WorryWart, it could be the fear of losing control.
Not sure about a specific event, however I remember watching Casualty when I was 13/14 and there was a kid on there who had a 'twisted testicle' after being kicked by a horse. Next thing I started checking my testicles, and found one was a bit tender. Then it became a bit painful. I asked my mum and dad countless times over the next few days, what if I had that and needed an op.
From then on, there were other episodes of HA, between periods of feeling ok. However I had a few severe episodes in my 20's and the last year has been my worst ever in terms of HA. The birth of my first daughter probably kick started it off - mainly worrying about her health, but then recently I started to worry about myself again.
The main event for me was probably my dads breakdown when I was 16. Seeing someone you looked up to so much go into complete mental and physical nothingness was awful. I've always worried about going in the same way, but also worried about physical illnesses as well.
When I discovered a breast lump at age 39, which resulted in getting a biopsy. It all snowballed from there.
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