Beyond tired!

[KatieJayne]

Hello everyone. I’m having a very bad time of Health Anxiety at the moment. I had a pregnancy loss in August, and had many complications following this for many months. During that time I guess I lost faith in the NHS - I was told things (even by ultrasound) which turned out to be completely wrong and as a result, this has led to a real bad Health Anxiety period.

Im currently suffering with a kidney infection and I’m on antibiotics. However I’m convinced they’ve got it wrong. I’m not asking for a medical opinion on this, but to give you some reasons, there were no white blood cells in my urine. There was however a trace of blood. They mainly went on the symptoms I told them. My antibiotics don’t seem to be helping (day 4 of a 7 day course) and I’m symptom spotting, googling, making appointments left right and centre and struggling to stay focused at work. I’m convincing myself my back pain/pelvic pain isn’t kidney infection related but is cervical cancer related so have panic booked a smear.

I’m beyond tired and I was wondering...is there anyone out there with any success stories re: health anxiety? How can I break these thoughts? How can I try and stay rational?

And how do you separate actual symptoms from ‘anxiety induced symptoms’?! I almost don’t trust my own judgement anymore!

Thank you in advance!

[ErinKC]

I'm so sorry about your loss. That's awful even without the added trauma you went through afterwards. It sounds like your anxiety was sort of post traumatic stress related. I had a traumatic emergency surgery many years ago that always sits in the back of my mind whenever something new pops up health wise. It makes total sense for you to be distrustful of doctors at the moment.

My severe health anxiety started postpartum and it took me a year to finally get help, but I started seeing a therapist and she saved me! My anxiety isn't gone completely and it's definitely kind of cyclical in nature, but I am so so so much better than I was before.

It's totally exhausting and frustrating to deal with. One thing my therapist told me is to not try and eradicate it 100% but also not let it define me. She said, having anxiety is one small thing about me, it's not the only thing that makes me who I am and it's also probably not something that will ever disappear for good. This does help me. When I get anxious about something I try to think - Oh, there's the anxiety. I'm feeling this because I have anxiety, but I don't have to let it take over because it's just a tiny piece of me.

It's all easier said than done, and I'm definitely in a bit of a spirally period right now, but I haven't gone full blown off the edge this time, which is good!

As for symptoms, I have to stop and really think about each one and acknowledge how all of them could be anxiety related. My therapist said the only thing I'm allowed to Google is anxiety. So, I'll sometimes google a symptom + anxiety to find information about how it can be caused by anxiety. This is also helpful for me!