AnonGuy0961
16-01-19, 13:54
Hello All,
First time here and was hoping to connect with some of you. I have had severe health anxiety all my life. My biggest and really only fear Is dying young and anytime my anxiety kicks in, I can't help but think of that nonstop. Let me back up a bit and say I was never open about my anxiety. I just didn't want to burden family and friends with my issues, especially when I know I'll sound crazy to them but recently have opened up to a select few but sometimes I still don't feel they understand completely which is why I came here to get some relief from like-minded people.
The reason for recently opening up, and when I say recently I mean about two years ago, was because my anxiety finally hit a high where I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to finally say something as I was tired of feeling the way I did. Since its hit its all time high a couple years ago, It comes in waves now. First, I thought I had leukemia, then I thought I had bowel cancer, pretty much thought I had some type of cancer. I went through plenty of test that told me I did not but still was not convinced. It’s is if I trust myself more than a medical professional. Then more anxiety hits and I’m anxious about everyday things as well, such as finances, relationships, home ownership, etc.
Well after a couple months of horrible anxiety, it subsided and was good without severe anxiety until recently. Now I am back to severe anxiety. I had a physical the other day and I think that’s what sparked it. I was ordered routine blood test and then the thoughts kicked in. What if they find something? I tried to talk to my Dr about my anxiety and see if he had any suggestions other than medication or possibly a recommended therapist (I tried one and it really didn’t help) which I believe talking about it made it worse in some way. Needless to say, when I got home I immediately started checking myself for symptoms, started feeling like I had some physical symptoms of pain in areas, which reasonably I know is due to the anxiety and know the mind is a powerful thing but can’t seem to shake it. I found what I believe to be a lymph node in my lower abdomen region, pretty much around my waste. It’s small about .5cm, can easily be moved around, and slightly firm and rubbery. Obviously I started checking more places on the other side to see if I can find a similar one and can’t which worries me, even though after researching Dr. Google, it seems that is normal size lymph node and is most likely nothing. On top of that my DR. told me he’d call if anything came back from the blood test which was just done yesterday and now I am anxious for it to be like 2 weeks from now without a call so I can assure myself they were fine and to be able to trust him as he is the professional and hasn’t steered me wrong before.. I am sitting here going crazy trying to see what else I can do to fight this anxiety and hoping I can here from some of you to help ease my mind. I am starting to believe if I hear from like-minded people, I will be able to put my mind more at ease, or at least its works a try. A little about me for reference, I am close to 30 in age, eat really healthy, don’t drink or smoke, and work out regularly, if not more than regular. Mainly a healthy adult with the exception of this anxiety.
First time here and was hoping to connect with some of you. I have had severe health anxiety all my life. My biggest and really only fear Is dying young and anytime my anxiety kicks in, I can't help but think of that nonstop. Let me back up a bit and say I was never open about my anxiety. I just didn't want to burden family and friends with my issues, especially when I know I'll sound crazy to them but recently have opened up to a select few but sometimes I still don't feel they understand completely which is why I came here to get some relief from like-minded people.
The reason for recently opening up, and when I say recently I mean about two years ago, was because my anxiety finally hit a high where I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to finally say something as I was tired of feeling the way I did. Since its hit its all time high a couple years ago, It comes in waves now. First, I thought I had leukemia, then I thought I had bowel cancer, pretty much thought I had some type of cancer. I went through plenty of test that told me I did not but still was not convinced. It’s is if I trust myself more than a medical professional. Then more anxiety hits and I’m anxious about everyday things as well, such as finances, relationships, home ownership, etc.
Well after a couple months of horrible anxiety, it subsided and was good without severe anxiety until recently. Now I am back to severe anxiety. I had a physical the other day and I think that’s what sparked it. I was ordered routine blood test and then the thoughts kicked in. What if they find something? I tried to talk to my Dr about my anxiety and see if he had any suggestions other than medication or possibly a recommended therapist (I tried one and it really didn’t help) which I believe talking about it made it worse in some way. Needless to say, when I got home I immediately started checking myself for symptoms, started feeling like I had some physical symptoms of pain in areas, which reasonably I know is due to the anxiety and know the mind is a powerful thing but can’t seem to shake it. I found what I believe to be a lymph node in my lower abdomen region, pretty much around my waste. It’s small about .5cm, can easily be moved around, and slightly firm and rubbery. Obviously I started checking more places on the other side to see if I can find a similar one and can’t which worries me, even though after researching Dr. Google, it seems that is normal size lymph node and is most likely nothing. On top of that my DR. told me he’d call if anything came back from the blood test which was just done yesterday and now I am anxious for it to be like 2 weeks from now without a call so I can assure myself they were fine and to be able to trust him as he is the professional and hasn’t steered me wrong before.. I am sitting here going crazy trying to see what else I can do to fight this anxiety and hoping I can here from some of you to help ease my mind. I am starting to believe if I hear from like-minded people, I will be able to put my mind more at ease, or at least its works a try. A little about me for reference, I am close to 30 in age, eat really healthy, don’t drink or smoke, and work out regularly, if not more than regular. Mainly a healthy adult with the exception of this anxiety.