JennaMehl5
28-01-19, 04:52
At the beginning of January I tested positive for mono. I had been sick for a while and they couldn't figure out why, which was slowly starting to give me anxiety. I'd seen 2 different doctors and had t
2 ER visits My throat was sore for over a month and I was very run down. I'd had a weird 2 days where I had fever and chills. I also had what I think was the flu, and before Christmas tested positive for strep (which I later learned is very common with mono). I unfortunately did some Google searching bc I wanted to know how accurate the rapid mono test at the dr is and unfortunately saw where it says "in rare cases a false positive can show up due to lymphoma or leukemia". It didnt matter that I'd had ALL the symptoms of mono and was following the exact course of the illness. My brain decided I had leukemia. Then I realized I had none of the symptoms so then I convinced myself I had lymphoma. Sadly in a mono support group I'm in online this is really common bc some of the symptoms are similar. You'd think 5 days later when my dr called with my bloodwork results and said "blood counts are perfect..other than having mono you are very healthy and liver and spleen enzymes are all normal which is great for someone fighting mono". I even told him of my fears and he said not to worry, if something more serious was wrong it would show in my white blood cell count or the liver or spleen enzymes would be off and he assured me, I have mono and nothing else. I even called back and asked him again and explained I am paranoid and he was very nice and reiterated what he said earlier. From the mono I'd had a few night sweats which is normal for the virus but a huge trigger for me. I've been a wreck since then, over 3 weeks now...I fall asleep for about an hour and then I jolt awake having a hot flash where I feel burning hot from head to toe, but not really sweaty (I was sweaty a couple weeks ago but not its slowed down to just hot). It happens all night as soon as my body starts to relax into sleep so I know its anxiety. I've also had terrible nightmares, and insomnia. Some of this is related to mono from what I've read but also anxiety so it's like double torture. For the first week of January I obsessed about my temp, paranoid I'd have a fever. I used a forehead scanner and a digital mouth thermometer and took my temp all day long for days, panicking if it wasnt 98.6. I finally made my husband hide both thermometers I still dont know where they are but big surprise my flushed hot tingly face symptom disappeared after he hid them. Then I started obsessing over feeling my abdomen bc I had a tender spot on the right..I had an ingrown hair near my c section scar and bc of nerve damage from the c section it was giving me weird sensations on my stomach where I still have numb areas. So now I've convinced myself I have ovarian cancer. I pushed and poked for days and ended up with some badly bruised tissue in my lower abdomen. But then I still obsessively check for lumps in my neck or collarbone area indicating lymphoma. I am fixating on 2 totally different illnesses, looking for symptoms, when fact is I just have mono. I mean just the fact that I keep switching between 2 illnesses shows me its just anxiety!! Now I have been in such a heightened state of anxiety for so long, I am having nausea, gurgling stomach, loss of appetite so I'm losing weight which is making me panic more, I cant focus or enjoy anything. I keep reminding myself all this stemmed from having all these mono symptoms and testing positive for mono! Now I am literally making myself sick with worry. I look gross I am getting so skinny and I have bags under my eyes from how awful my sleep has been. I am going to start therapy on tueseay but what else can I do?!?!?!
2 ER visits My throat was sore for over a month and I was very run down. I'd had a weird 2 days where I had fever and chills. I also had what I think was the flu, and before Christmas tested positive for strep (which I later learned is very common with mono). I unfortunately did some Google searching bc I wanted to know how accurate the rapid mono test at the dr is and unfortunately saw where it says "in rare cases a false positive can show up due to lymphoma or leukemia". It didnt matter that I'd had ALL the symptoms of mono and was following the exact course of the illness. My brain decided I had leukemia. Then I realized I had none of the symptoms so then I convinced myself I had lymphoma. Sadly in a mono support group I'm in online this is really common bc some of the symptoms are similar. You'd think 5 days later when my dr called with my bloodwork results and said "blood counts are perfect..other than having mono you are very healthy and liver and spleen enzymes are all normal which is great for someone fighting mono". I even told him of my fears and he said not to worry, if something more serious was wrong it would show in my white blood cell count or the liver or spleen enzymes would be off and he assured me, I have mono and nothing else. I even called back and asked him again and explained I am paranoid and he was very nice and reiterated what he said earlier. From the mono I'd had a few night sweats which is normal for the virus but a huge trigger for me. I've been a wreck since then, over 3 weeks now...I fall asleep for about an hour and then I jolt awake having a hot flash where I feel burning hot from head to toe, but not really sweaty (I was sweaty a couple weeks ago but not its slowed down to just hot). It happens all night as soon as my body starts to relax into sleep so I know its anxiety. I've also had terrible nightmares, and insomnia. Some of this is related to mono from what I've read but also anxiety so it's like double torture. For the first week of January I obsessed about my temp, paranoid I'd have a fever. I used a forehead scanner and a digital mouth thermometer and took my temp all day long for days, panicking if it wasnt 98.6. I finally made my husband hide both thermometers I still dont know where they are but big surprise my flushed hot tingly face symptom disappeared after he hid them. Then I started obsessing over feeling my abdomen bc I had a tender spot on the right..I had an ingrown hair near my c section scar and bc of nerve damage from the c section it was giving me weird sensations on my stomach where I still have numb areas. So now I've convinced myself I have ovarian cancer. I pushed and poked for days and ended up with some badly bruised tissue in my lower abdomen. But then I still obsessively check for lumps in my neck or collarbone area indicating lymphoma. I am fixating on 2 totally different illnesses, looking for symptoms, when fact is I just have mono. I mean just the fact that I keep switching between 2 illnesses shows me its just anxiety!! Now I have been in such a heightened state of anxiety for so long, I am having nausea, gurgling stomach, loss of appetite so I'm losing weight which is making me panic more, I cant focus or enjoy anything. I keep reminding myself all this stemmed from having all these mono symptoms and testing positive for mono! Now I am literally making myself sick with worry. I look gross I am getting so skinny and I have bags under my eyes from how awful my sleep has been. I am going to start therapy on tueseay but what else can I do?!?!?!