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KK77
11-02-19, 21:09
Our dear NMP friend Pulisa is having treatment tomorrow for her pain condition and I'm sure we all want to wish her a successful outcome and speedy recovery, as she selflessly helps so many members on NMP.

Wishing you all the best, Agt P :shades:

BlueIris
11-02-19, 21:11
Sending good luck wishes and many hugs, Pulisa!

Midnight-mouse
11-02-19, 21:23
Best of luck and well wishes, I hope all is successful and as easy going as possible. Take the time you need!

Mouse


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Carys
11-02-19, 21:25
Sending my very very best wishes too! Hope it gets the successful results you need so much Pulisa. :flowers:

Carnation
11-02-19, 21:38
Sending Pulisa lots of positive thoughts xx :hugs:

Darksky
11-02-19, 22:57
All best wishes for tomorrow Pulisa. Hope it all goes successfully for you xxx

MyNameIsTerry
12-02-19, 02:09
Thanks KK, I admit to not knowing as pulisa isn't one for saying unless she really really really is struggling.

You know we are here if you need us, pulisa. I hope all goes well and I'm sure you will handle it no matter what as you always do. :hugs::flowers:

Elen
12-02-19, 08:23
Everything crossed that it works for you, chronic pain is so debilitating.

pulisa
12-02-19, 08:43
Oh that's really kind of you all and THANK YOU!!

I don't like to talk about my own problems on here but this pain has been driving me mad (literally!) so I'll try anything now. I think it's going to be painful treatment but if it helps it's all good.

Will be back this evening so will update.

Thank you all again! xxx

Buster70
12-02-19, 11:37
Hope it all goes ok today , no pain no gain , wish I could be brave enough to go and try to tackle my problems , fingers crossed :hugs:

pulisa
12-02-19, 20:14
Thank you, Buster. I hope you are able to get some help-the first step is the hardest but the most important..

I am home now, battered and bruised but hopefully the treatment will help. No guarantees though but at least I've given it a go.

Thank you so much for your support and kind wishes xxx

Scass
12-02-19, 20:38
Sorry I missed this Pulisa. I hope it helps you. Get some rest cx


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fishman65
12-02-19, 20:39
I didn't see this thread until now. I'm glad you are in one piece pulisa, wishing a good outcome and speedy recovery :hugs:

jojo2316
12-02-19, 21:08
You ROCK Pulisa! Hope you are feeling more comfortable very soon
Xxx

Carnation
13-02-19, 00:30
Pleased to hear you are back in the comfort of your own home and I hope you have some success with pain relief.xx

MyNameIsTerry
13-02-19, 02:31
Battered & bruised? Was it the Del Boy version of the NHS? (remember when he pretended to be a doctor in A&E when that drunk was kicking of and he punched him in the face and said to the other patients "I bet you wished you'd gone private now?) :winks:

pulisa
13-02-19, 08:16
:D I'd have ended up like this being treated in a posh hospital and distinctly poorer!

If I was young and glamorous I'd be posting selfies of my back...but you're all saved from that atrocity!:D

Have a follow-up appointment in April and am starting pain management psychological therapy in 2 weeks which should be interesting and if anyone is interested I will report back on what is advised? The consultant told me to stop using the TENS machine which is good news for me as it made things worse.

Thanks again to everyone-your support and kind words are much appreciated xxx

Midnight-mouse
13-02-19, 08:35
Very glad that you’re home and hopefully this proves very successful for you.
The psychological pain management sounds really interesting, if you wouldn’t mind sharing I think it would be great to know a little more about it.

I wish you all the best in your recovery and hope that the treatment is very effective in taking you out of pain.

Positive vibes,

Mouse


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KK77
13-02-19, 15:03
:D I'd have ended up like this being treated in a posh hospital and distinctly poorer!

If I was young and glamorous I'd be posting selfies of my back...but you're all saved from that atrocity!:D

Have a follow-up appointment in April and am starting pain management psychological therapy in 2 weeks which should be interesting and if anyone is interested I will report back on what is advised? The consultant told me to stop using the TENS machine which is good news for me as it made things worse.

Thanks again to everyone-your support and kind words are much appreciated xxx

So glad you're ditching that blasted TENS contraption, Agt P! SWMBO said you were fizzing and sparking as if you were connected to the National Grid :wacko:

Would be very interested to know how therapy progresses, too. You should be commended for trying your best to overcome pain issues :D

Catherine S
13-02-19, 15:19
Best wishes to you Pulisa. I've just recently joined the pain management club myself after a recent diagnosis. I hope you find a way through the fog :scared15:

Cath xx

roseanxiety
13-02-19, 17:38
Good luck, Pulisa. Thinking of you.


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Magic
13-02-19, 19:05
Just read up about you pulisa. Hope you feel better soon.:hugs:xxx

vicky23
13-02-19, 21:46
Bless you, I hope you find relief.
I'd definitely be interested in how the pain management goes.
Big hugs
xxxx

SarahNah
14-02-19, 01:01
I've just seen this! I hope you get some peace and comfort Pulisa. My Dad lives with extreme pain daily and I can see how hard it can make everything. I hope you get some positive progress x

AntsyVee
14-02-19, 03:46
:hugs: good luck!

WiseMonkey
14-02-19, 03:50
Best wishes Pulisa, hope it resolves your pain issues x

pulisa
14-02-19, 08:35
Thank you so much-everyone is so kind xx

My face is red and glowing this morning-suspect it is the steroids!

I'll certainly start a thread in the "Therapy" section if people would be interested. It's tough coping with constant pain with an anxiety disorder and all the trimmings and I'm sure some of the techniques will be applicable to mental health issues in general. My first session is on Feb25th if they don't cancel.....

Lola-Lee
14-02-19, 09:01
That would be good to start a thread,anything that helps with constant pain would be a blessing.Thanks pulisa :D

Carnation
14-02-19, 11:01
I hope you get some relief Pulisa.
It will make everything else a bit more bearable for you. :hugs:
Like anxiety, it is an invisible suffering but runs deep and makes the simplest of tasks difficult.
Without seeming to pry, I am assuming it is your back and was an injection treatment? xx

pulisa
14-02-19, 12:42
I had pleurisy 14 months ago and have had nerve root irritation on the right side of my back going through into the right side of my chest ever since. It's like neuralgia following shingles only I didn't have shingles. The pins and needles are constant and very painful particularly in the cold weather..and of course anxiety makes it worse. Traditional painkillers don't touch it and neither did the TENS machine. The steroid injections are offered when all else fails.

MyNameIsTerry
14-02-19, 14:25
My GF would sympathise as she had pleurisy many years ago and had problems for some time afterwards.

Neuralgia isn't pleasant, I've had some of that with my face at times and my dad gets it with his neck. They offered him antidepressants for that, he threw them away when he read what they were (never even offered the physio side or exercises the NHS say they should but he is now classed as elderly so you know what GP's are like for pills with them...not suggesting you know because of yourself! :sofa:) as he's not re-opening that door after 40+ years depression free.

Have you crushed any cans or ripped any doors of without realising your strength this morning? :biggrin:

Yes, I would be interested in the pain management therapy too. I have always struggled with physical symptoms. I expect it's going to be heavy on what you already know (acceptance, changing how you see things and just getting on with it) but anything that helps is worth trying.

I agree with the others, chronic pain grinds you down. It's the cause of depression for many alone. There are areas in my anxiety I struggle with that are based around pain and it's hard to breakthrough that into the exercise I want to do so I will be interested in something specific for pain management. From what I've seen when looking at therapy techniques it can be things like pacing, knowing when not to push yourself.

But most of all I hope it helps you, which is the most important thing here.

(oh and it will be handy to say "well pulisa does it" the next time someone on a thread is telling us why they can't pursue mental health treatment until they get passed one of their HA fears :winks:)

pulisa
14-02-19, 18:13
I just hope Mindfulness isn't brought into the equation other than getting through the day hour by hour. I do walk every day and carry on as normal. Pacing will be very hard because the more pain I'm in the more I push myself because I get so angry with the pain and myself. I'm sure there will be tonnes of stuff to work on-I'm not a textbook case!:D I admit that my OCD/ED is a lot worse now but I hope I will be able to manage it better with therapy.

Carys
14-02-19, 18:27
Of COURSE you aren't a 'text book case' you are special ! :yesyes::D

Carnation
14-02-19, 19:40
Yes, pleurisy would knock you for six. My mum had it when she was in her fifties and recovered well, but I think she hid any pain she had from me and was someone who would push herself. Probably like you Pulisa. x :hugs:

Carys
14-02-19, 20:02
P, what did they actually DO in terms of hospital pain treatment for it? Have I missed where you said what the actual procedure was?

pulisa
14-02-19, 20:17
I had about 8 steroid/ local anaesthetic shots from my waist to my neck on the right hand side. The steroid used was called "depo" something..Haven't googled it:D

---------- Post added at 20:17 ---------- Previous post was at 20:10 ----------

It's a mixture of myofascial and neuropathic pain. I find the nerve pain/dysaethesia unbearable at times-you can't escape it.

whispershadow
14-02-19, 20:31
All the best wishes in the world to you, Pulisa, and loads of gentle hugs as well :hugs:

MyNameIsTerry
15-02-19, 03:26
So, you ended up a bit like the character in Clive Barker's Hellraiser :ohmy:

It wouldn't surprise me if some Mindfulness stuff is in there since it's been found to help with pain in the common sense way we all know that focussing on symptoms makes it worse. But I would imagine CBT type stuff and practical advice. Like anything else it will always come down to you and just pushing through mentally and I think you have to take what you can and if it helps then great, nothing lost.

Maybe it will be like those new pain relieve adverts? "Swearing is a way we reduce pain until we can find something else" :yesyes: If we see a headline in the Daily Mail along the lines of "Tourettes sufferer complains of bad language in hospital" we will know. :biggrin:

pulisa
15-02-19, 08:25
Swearing Therapy would be good! It will happen when Mindfulness is old hat..

My Dad always said "don't buckle" and that's good advice for me. I can still be in pain and function because I have no choice but it's a real struggle to get through the long days and keep everyone ticking over.

jojo2316
15-02-19, 09:01
How are you today Pulisa? Are you still in the same amount of discomfort?

Carnation
15-02-19, 09:51
I've always thought that pain has to come out of the body as opposed to be treated from within, if that makes any sense? :shrug:
What I'm referring to is pent-up emotions, whether it is carrying grief, anger, stress, guilt and so on.
I remember watching something on TV where a doctor was using more natural techniques for relieving pain and there was this woman who could hardly walk at times for her back pain. Well, the doctor sent her to some judo lessons, yes, that's right, judo! With the combination of movement and releasing strong emotions vocally, she was apparently cured! :ohmy:

pulisa
15-02-19, 13:14
I think I have to think very seriously about some lifestyle changes. It's down to me really. My pain isn't psychosomatic but I have to find healthier ways of dealing with it.

Judo lessons!! My GP hasn't a clue how to help me and just refers me back to the Pain Consultant as he is the "expert". Fortunately I have no problems walking-it's not actually a structural problem, more neuropathy-related.

Jojo, unfortunately the pain is back now that the local anaesthetic has worn off but the whole treatment can take around 2 weeks to take effect so all is not lost!

KK77
15-02-19, 13:48
It is indeed too early to judge success of treatment but I hope it will have at least some beneficial effect to make all your hard work worthwhile. But at least you have tried, Agt P, and it is that spirit which keeps us afloat and searching for answers.

We must never surrender! :shades:

MyNameIsTerry
15-02-19, 16:03
Combined judo and swearing therapy. I don't think I would be your sparring partner " 'Ave it you f..." :ohmy::biggrin:

Liddy1993
15-02-19, 16:04
Best wishes hope it gives you some bit of relief x

Carnation
16-02-19, 09:41
Pulisa, have you ever tried massage therapy?
I'm talking about sports therapy massage, they understand about the nerve system. It was quite affective for me.
It was just a thought. xx
I could recommend one in your area if you want me to pm the details? I had nerve damage in my back and neck from my car crash and it helped me. x

pulisa
16-02-19, 13:39
Yes I did try this at the beginning and have had various sessions along the way, Carnation. None have had any effect and the Consultant said to leave it. Thanks for the recommendation though. I'm hoping the injections will help along with the psychological therapy and gabapentin if I really have no further options but I'd rather have the pain than take gaba to be honest xx

EmmerLooeez
17-02-19, 09:57
Sending so much love Pulisa. <3 xxx

pulisa
19-02-19, 21:41
Thank you so much, Emma xx

Am having a lot of problems with the new site so may not be able to post for a while. Think it's my ancient technology!

Thank you all for your support and kindness

Pulisa xx

pulisa
21-02-19, 18:00
Frustratingly the pain is as bad as ever 9 days post- injections. I had the maximum dose of steroids and 8 injections. I wish I could switch off this horrible electrical pain and burning and buzzing on my right hand side from the waist up and in both elbows...but I know I can't and have to be patient as the steroids can take 2 weeks to work.

I start the psychological therapy on Monday for chronic pain management and have to somehow survive a 3 hour assessment on Thursday as my son has problems at work and this will hopefully help them to understand his diagnosis in more depth. He needs me to go with him as someone who knows the most about him so I have to be on top form. Of course I will cope but it's far from easy at the moment what with everything that has to be dealt with at home.

I know there is nothing that I can do about this other than carry on but maybe writing it down on here will be therapeutic. I'll give it a go!

Scass
21-02-19, 19:07
It sounds really rough Pulisa. Keep on keeping on, I really hope it improves for you soon. X


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Carnation
21-02-19, 19:55
It must be bad Pulisa, it's not in your nature to express your pain. :hugs:
You still have time to feel some benefit and even if you don't, it doesn't mean that's the end of feeling any relief.
Distraction with your son may actually help. x

fishman65
21-02-19, 20:21
I'm so sorry you're struggling pulisa. I know also that you must be feeling very bad for you to talk about it on here. Thinking of you :hugs:

Fishmanpa
03-03-19, 00:33
I just read through this and I'm sorry Pulisa. I should have offered support sooner. I had no idea you were dealing with this. I truly understand what you're dealing with. You mentioned it being a mixture of myofascial and neuropathic pain. Did they determine a cause/diagnosis? (I may have missed it). Have they suggested a med like Gabapentin or Lyrica? I ask because I have neuropathy in my feet from treatment. It can be very painful and distracting. I take Gabapentin (100mg 3x a day) and it controls it for the most part.

I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and I'm sending as always...

Positive thoughts :)

KK77
03-03-19, 19:10
Comrade Pulisa has asked me to let all you NMP folk know that she will be away from forum whilst she undergoes talking part of her pain management therapy.

Will post updates here in meantime and look forward to her returning to NMP when ready :shades:

Carnation
03-03-19, 21:16
I'll be thinking of you Pulisa x :hugs:

MyNameIsTerry
04-03-19, 18:39
Good luck with the therapy, pulisa.

I am praying they don't bring out a big pile of questionaires with stuff like "rate your pain from 1-10, 1 being slightly bloody annoying and 10 being Dr Christian Jessen has just appeared on my TV screen and the TV won't change channel!". :winks:

Carnation
05-03-19, 10:57
Thinking positive for you Pulisa :hugs:

busterrufus
10-04-19, 01:08
Very best wishes Pulisa

Confetti
12-04-19, 06:36
I don't know you but I'm extremely sad that you have to face such godawful pain and really do hope there is a solution that will help ease your suffering, you don't deserve that and I wish I could do something to alleviate it, it's really unfair one cannot do something to solve such a problem for a fellow human :chained:

Carnation
12-04-19, 10:39
I totally agree with you confetti.
Hoping you have had some success Pulisa :hugs:

pulisa
12-04-19, 21:01
I really appreciate and thank you for your good wishes, Busterrufus, Confetti and Carnation.

There's no improvement and the Consultant can only offer pain management therapy and hypnosis now. I've been on the waiting list since October but the psychology starts in early may and the hypnosis in July. I'm just one of many with a chronic pain problem which is constant and decades of anxiety have added to the issue. The pleurisy was the final "insult". I wish I could have got my anxiety disorder under control but I haven't been able to and maybe this is the legacy? The neuropathic involvement is the pits but I "just" have to change my perception of it (a painful electric current running all over my upper back).Being a carer adds to the pressure but I don't want my family to suffer as a result of my failure to cope.

The spinal surgeons are going to take another look at my MRI scan and I hope I don't have to have another one but if I have to I have to..

Thanks again xx

jojo2316
12-04-19, 21:47
Dear dear Pulisa - I am so so sorry this struggle continues. And I cannot adequately describe how much I admire your fortitude in the face of it. I wish we could take your pain away, just a little. Please know that your friends on NMP are thinking of you
xxx

KK77
13-04-19, 18:59
You are not "failing" and will never "fail" because your sense of responsibility will never allow it. Once therapy begins, I believe you will notice an improvement both mentally and physically.

I truly think you cope amazingly well despite not being able to see it yourself. But that's what friends are for: to point out and remind you that there is light at the end of the tunnel - and that you will reach it soon enough.

We will never surrender, Cmrd P! :D

Carnation
13-04-19, 20:13
Pulisa, I really admire your perseverance and your courage. How you manage to cope with everything, I really don't know how you do it.
You are such a selfless person and you so deserve a break and a break through.
I hope eventually you will have some success, it will make life so much easier for you. x

pulisa
13-04-19, 21:00
I do feel that I am failing though but I suppose I am pretty low so this will affect how I am thinking and reacting to pain. Certainly I need to toughen up and cope because so many people deal with far far worse. I've got into a horrible rut which I can and will get out of in time and with help. All this waiting is hard though but at least I will see a consultant psychologist in early May and she is great. (I've already had an initial assessment).

Thank you fo your support and kindness as always xx

Carnation
13-04-19, 21:38
You will feel like that Pulisa, it's only natural to feel that way. But you can't give up and I know you won't give up. It's not in your nature.
In between the waits you need to find moments of pleasure and keep that normality in your life. Whether it's through a football match or something good on tv or treating yourself to a naughty cake every now and then.
Feed your brain with as many pleasures as you can.
Remember the brain and body are connected and even more so to the spine.
I know I'm not in your shoes, but I have suffered from a trapped nerve and it was hell before it repaired itself.
Think of the long-term and not the present. xx

Scass
14-04-19, 08:03
Lovely Pulisa, everyone is allowed a rough patch. The nature of anxiety is to blame yourself for it and make it worse. Wouldn’t it be lovely to just wallow awhile.
You are strong & kind, smart & funny. Traits that many of us wish for ourselves & loved ones. Clutch onto the positives, and I hope a way is found to help you x

pulisa
14-04-19, 08:25
I'd really like to think that I'm strong but the truth is that I'm not at the moment but the therapy will help me to see a way through.

My Dad always used to say "count your blessings" and I have many so I will. I'm just low because I hate being in pain and this all adds to the distress. It also makes my ED ruminations worse but I've told the psychologist all about this so may get some help after decades of trying to manage it myself.

Thank you for all the support and brilliant advice xxx

MyNameIsTerry
14-04-19, 14:05
Yes, as said even you are entitled to wobbles! :hugs:

Are you able to find things that do help to take your mind off the pain? Is it because it's physically more comfortable or more about distraction of the mind?

Some things to look forward and fresh air in the sun might help with the mood a bit if it helps you get your stoic side back on track and out of a rut? Are you able to walk with your daughter? Go see some animals with her or other things you like doing together? Perhaps being out & about with her will help pull you out of it a bit? Are their any Palace matches coming up...are they considered something to look forward too :winks:

pulisa
15-04-19, 08:36
To be honest being in pain has taken over every aspect of my life and I know that this is bad.Next week my daughter and I are going on a 2 day trip to Belgium- I am not going to cancel it but will try to see it as a positive turning point and a change that will really benefit both of us. I'm sure the anticipatory anxiety is making things worse-it always does for me.

Carnation
15-04-19, 09:28
It might be what you need Pulisa.
Oh yes, anticipatory anxiety, the worst in my opinion.
I haven't managed to tame that one myself, but we do know that the event never seems as bad as we lead up to it. If only we could keep that thought in our heads when we are worrying.
I actually think it will do you good and if you are feeling down, it's a great place to get chocolate. :) x

Remember also, it's not that far. Probably quicker to get home from there than a jaunt on the M25 and less painful.

pulisa
15-04-19, 13:10
Thanks Carnation. We are going by Eurostar so at least the Brexit delays should mean that it is business as usual on the trains and not mega hassle and queues to get through Customs..I haven't stayed overnight in a different country for decades but time to test myself and give my daughter a new experience. I don't want to deny her a decent break because of my hang ups so it's a good incentive. I know I'll cope whatever happens once I am on my way..xx

MyNameIsTerry
15-04-19, 13:42
Let me know what day so I'm not on the tracks wrapped in a Union Jack :winks:

Are you able to get comfortable or it is 24/7 thing? I hope not the latter, it would be very hard not to let that drag you down.

Yes, anticipatory anxiety is a major pain. It mostly does seem to dissolve once you get out of too much time to think about it more time taking some action.

I do hope you are able to find some peace from this and that it doesn't blight your trip. You deserve some fun before all the golf washing starts turning up now the weather is getting better :winks:).

pulisa
15-04-19, 18:05
Golf washing is a year-round slog, Terry! My washing machine is very overworked!

I'm fortunate in that I can sleep at night but as soon as I get up and move it starts up. The doctor says that using my muscles triggers the nerves. Don't really know how you fix that other than not move!

KK77
15-04-19, 18:30
Golf washing is a year-round slog, Terry! My washing machine is very overworked!

I'm fortunate in that I can sleep at night but as soon as I get up and move it starts up. The doctor says that using my muscles triggers the nerves. Don't really know how you fix that other than not move!

It's a Catch-22, Cmrd. Exercise increases my pain levels too, yet inactivity and stagnation cause rigidity, loss of muscle strength, shortening of muscles, etc, which create their own set of problems (and more pain) :lac:

Finding the "balance" is the hard part in all this and there is no one size fits all answer.

Carnation
15-04-19, 18:54
I think you'll find the eurostar a breeze Pulisa, my mum and dad couldn't recommend it enough and so quick!
Take plenty to read and occupy yourself and your daughter. x

pulisa
15-04-19, 19:42
We've done day trips on the Eurostar a few times, Carnation. Paris,Brussels and Lille. Easily do-able from Surrey if you get the early train.

Wouldn't it be great if a doctor could prescribe the right "balance" for the individual patient, KK. I've just started some exercises specifically for intercostal neuritis..I've got nothing to lose. I know you suffer greatly from your pain-it certainly colours every aspect of life, doesn't it?

Buster70
15-04-19, 20:52
Belgium eh , is that in Spain ? Bring us all a stick of rock back , I’m pretty sure pain and anguish are not allowed on Eurostar, you may have to leave them behind in the uk and collect them on return , surely a football hooligan like you isn’t allowed overseas.
Have a good one .:yesyes:

jojo2316
15-04-19, 22:09
Have you ever seen the film In Bruges with Colin Farrell? It’s very funny! Might get you in the mood?

MyNameIsTerry
16-04-19, 04:39
Have you ever seen the film In Bruges with Colin Farrell? It’s very funny! Might get you in the mood?

What, the film or Colin Farrell? :winks:

MyNameIsTerry
16-04-19, 04:42
Golf washing is a year-round slog, Terry! My washing machine is very overworked!

I'm fortunate in that I can sleep at night but as soon as I get up and move it starts up. The doctor says that using my muscles triggers the nerves. Don't really know how you fix that other than not move!

Damn, I thought he would be glued to the telly watching it rather than playing it.

I'm glad you can sleep, often pain conditions cause so many problems with that too so that's one blessing. Are there any possibilities with alternative therapies like how some people find things like acupuncture helpful for pain?

Be careful you don't run over any climate change protesters if you are travelling further in first...but if so just tell them it's an electric car and they should be fine then :yesyes:

Carnation
16-04-19, 14:03
That's reassuring for you if you've already done the eurostar, so you know what to expect.
So that leaves the staying overnight that you'll probably be getting anxious about.
Unfamiliar surroundings, strange room, the 'will I sleep?" worry. And obviously coping with your daughter's issues.

It's all the unknown. A candidate for our anxiety.
Think of the worst scenario...
Maybe a restless night and eagerness to get home.
Best scenario....
You have a great time, your daughter enjoys it and you have good night's sleep and you go home feeling a lot better. :)

pulisa
16-04-19, 17:38
That would be a really good scenario and no reason why it shouldn't happen, Carnation. The worrier in me thinks about coping with constant pain in a foreign country but I'd have it here as well so might as well explore pastures new and to hell with it! It's not the back of beyond.

Thanks to everyone for their support and I'll let you know how we get on xxx

KK77
16-04-19, 17:46
May the Force of Complaints be with you both and ensure you have a spiffingly good time :D

jojo2316
16-04-19, 21:35
here’s hoping for carnation’s best case scenario. Is it just one night you are staying away Pulisa?

pulisa
17-04-19, 08:20
Yes just the one night, jojo.. It's a new place for us so it's best to treat it as a trial run for future visits. I will be expected to know where I'm going despite not having been there before so I'm studying the street map very carefully!

I haven't seen the film-I'll probably try to watch it after our trip!

Elen
17-04-19, 08:38
Pulisa I was so hoping to open this thread and hear that they had made some progress with your pain.

I am in pain a lot but what you are describing sounds horrific.

Wishing you a great trip.

Scass
17-04-19, 08:47
Have a great trip Pulisa. Hopefully there will be so much to see that it’ll take your mind off it. So exciting for your daughter too, you’re brilliant for doing this x

pulisa
18-04-19, 13:10
Thanks for all the encouragement! The thing is, Scass, that my daughter deserves a Mum who can cope with travelling around. I don't want to deny her that opportunity because of my hang ups. The pain issue doesn't help but I'm not going to make it an excuse for not going.

Elen, I'm sure the situation I'm in doesn't compare to your really challenging pain issues but thank you for your good wishes.

KK77
18-04-19, 14:11
Thanks for all the encouragement! The thing is, Scass, that my daughter deserves a Mum who can cope with travelling around. I don't want to deny her that opportunity because of my hang ups. The pain issue doesn't help but I'm not going to make it an excuse for not going.

Elen, I'm sure the situation I'm in doesn't compare to your really challenging pain issues but thank you for your good wishes.

You do realise that not all mums could cope with your daughter's needs and care, Agt P? You do your BEST - what more could anyone ask for? I don't think you deny your daughter anything, whilst giving her the most important things in life: your time, attention, care and love.

Now are you packed, Agt P? Chop chop! ;)

jojo2316
18-04-19, 18:42
Thanks for all the encouragement! The thing is, Scass, that my daughter deserves a Mum who can cope with travelling around. I don't want to deny her that opportunity because of my hang ups. The pain issue doesn't help but I'm not going to make it an excuse for not going.

Elen, I'm sure the situation I'm in doesn't compare to your really challenging pain issues but thank you for your good wishes.

Your daughter has a mum who overcomes her own pain and psychological challenges to give her what she needs. Your daughter has an incredibly brave, unwavering and selfless mum.
You might not be able to enjoy the Belgium chocolate but maybe your daughter will?

Scass
18-04-19, 19:27
Your daughter has a mum who overcomes her own pain and psychological challenges to give her what she needs. Your daughter has an incredibly brave, unwavering and selfless mum.
You might not be able to enjoy the Belgium chocolate but maybe your daughter will?

Yes, this.
I always get a bit emotional about Mums who do things to make their children happy, despite the discomfort it causes them. It’s very selfless, whatever you think. Of course we think our children deserve more, but to do the best you can is more than many x

Carnation
18-04-19, 21:13
Pulisa, your daughter has a mum she can be proud of.
You go above and beyond to keep her safe and happy. x

pulisa
19-04-19, 08:11
You are all really kind and thank you! I do try my best and that's what is important. Some things are just beyond me but I think it's ok to be able to admit that. I admire people who can take on anything but I'm not like that.

I don't go until Tuesday so I wish everyone a Happy Easter! At least the weather is picking up now!! xx

Violet Blue
21-04-19, 07:03
Hi Pulisa

I've only just seen this thread, and of course I want to add to the many comments about what an amazing and selfless mother you are. Most mothers by your stage of life can put their feet up, and don't have to put up with both mental and now physical conditions which make most of what they take for granted so so so difficult. Don't be hard on yourself, silly!

I'm really hoping you're finding ways to manage the pain, sweetie. Will message. Xxxxx

Carnation
21-04-19, 10:04
I have no doubt that you will be prepping for your trip now and if any of those anxiety thoughts crop up, remember you are in control of any decisions, you have the reins to go forward. Nothing is set in stone and you always have options. x

Carnation
22-04-19, 20:55
Good Luck with your trip tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. Remember you always have options and the fear is a feeling, not an outcome. x

KK77
22-04-19, 21:19
https://i.etsystatic.com/15492164/r/il/6342d8/1361539338/il_570xN.1361539338_nh1m.jpg

Carnation
22-04-19, 21:29
Do you not have a bigger one KK? :D

KK77
22-04-19, 21:31
Do you not have a bigger one KK? :D

Don't be so rude, Carn! :sign20:

jojo2316
22-04-19, 22:13
Safe travels Pulisa. GOOD LUCK!

MyNameIsTerry
23-04-19, 01:53
Don't be so rude, Carn! :sign20:

:blush::roflmao:

Scass
23-04-19, 06:00
Have a great trip! Looking forward to hearing about it x


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MyNameIsTerry
23-04-19, 14:52
Best wishes for today.

As others have said, you actually do so much for your kids. I'm sure it's only natural to want more for them and anything you do that you feel hampers their experiences is going to cause some self-kicking but how about all the things you could have not done but have? Another parent might not have coped to point of removing their children from their lives completely. They might avoid everything, not just struggle with some things. You never gave up!

pulisa
25-04-19, 16:50
Well I'm back and just wanted to thank you all so much for all your support and encouragement. I won't pretend that it was a breeze because I do take the thoughts and ruminations with me wherever I go but I'm pleased with myself for going to a foreign country despite being in pain and despite feeling very unsafe with my daughter to look after as well.
I think we fulfilled her knackering "agenda" despite some rocky moments (inevitable) when the photos I took were not "perfect" enough- dicing with death to get that "perfect" shot with cars whizzing around me is certainly fun!! The weather was great-we did the canal trip and the horse drawn carriage ride around old Bruges. Good that the horses were well cared for with a break for food and water after 15 mins.
No probs with Eurostar either-no vast queues.

Good to be back in Blighty now!! xx

MyNameIsTerry
25-04-19, 17:17
Excellent! And opens the door to more knackering trips if your daughter fancies them :winks: But don't put your feet up just yet, there is a pile of golf clothing to wash in the basket :biggrin: You sound like the extreme selfie brigade :biggrin: Well done for pushing through and not letting it stop you :yahoo:

pulisa
25-04-19, 17:36
Thanks Terry! The washing machine was used as soon as I got back and again and again today! It's business as usual!

Scass
25-04-19, 17:46
Yay Pulisa! I wish I was one of those people who think nothing of hopping off around the world, so I do appreciate some of your worries. Although I haven’t yet had to manage a teen at the same time! Relax and be proud of your accomplishment x


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Carnation
25-04-19, 18:31
There you go :winks: as always you came through it.
Yes, there will be moments of 'OMG', but now you have done it and you chalk another challenge on the board. :)
Very well done Pulisa and very pleased you managed to get some good moments. x

KK77
25-04-19, 20:22
Good to be back in Blighty now!! xx

Quite right too, Agt P :D

Good to have you back (in Complaints office) and massive well done for mission accomplished (Part I) :shades:

pulisa
25-04-19, 20:36
Muchas gracias to everyone!

It was amazing how easy it was to go through Border Control coming back to London! All the "guards" were standing around chatting whilst the passengers trailed past, some with "interesting" luggage..Maybe it was a tactic of bored disinterest whilst maintaining a steely monitoring presence? Anyway...I managed to smuggle in my 100g of imperial earl grey loose leaf! Result!

KK77
25-04-19, 21:07
.I managed to smuggle in my 100g of imperial earl grey loose leaf! Result!

*Puts kettle on*

jojo2316
25-04-19, 21:17
Well I'm back and just wanted to thank you all so much for all your support and encouragement. I won't pretend that it was a breeze because I do take the thoughts and ruminations with me wherever I go but I'm pleased with myself for going to a foreign country despite being in pain and despite feeling very unsafe with my daughter to look after as well.
I think we fulfilled her knackering "agenda" despite some rocky moments (inevitable) when the photos I took were not "perfect" enough- dicing with death to get that "perfect" shot with cars whizzing around me is certainly fun!! The weather was great-we did the canal trip and the horse drawn carriage ride around old Bruges. Good that the horses were well cared for with a break for food and water after 15 mins.
No probs with Eurostar either-no vast queues.

Good to be back in Blighty now!! xx

Yay! It sounds like SUCH a success Pulisa. A carriage ride round old Bruges sounds like a fairytale!

jojo2316
25-04-19, 21:18
Muchas gracias to everyone!

It was amazing how easy it was to go through Border Control coming back to London! All the "guards" were standing around chatting whilst the passengers trailed past, some with "interesting" luggage..Maybe it was a tactic of bored disinterest whilst maintaining a steely monitoring presence? Anyway...I managed to smuggle in my 100g of imperial earl grey loose leaf! Result!

Is tea smuggling illegal? What about Corvid smuggling?

pulisa
25-04-19, 21:28
Corvid? What is that? Corrie video smuggling? Corbyn video smuggling?:D

jojo2316
25-04-19, 21:36
Corvid? What is that? Corrie video smuggling? Corbyn video smuggling?:D

yes! My secret stash of Jeremy Corbyn videos. I won’t leave the country without them

pulisa
25-04-19, 21:54
Are you Raven about the Corbyn species then, Jojo?

jojo2316
25-04-19, 22:19
Jay-sus, you are very clever at crow-barring in the corbyn puns

jojo2316
25-04-19, 22:27
Or should I say Cor-vid puns

MyNameIsTerry
26-04-19, 14:45
yes! My secret stash of Jeremy Corbyn videos. I won’t leave the country without them

Who knows what goes on down that allotment of his. It's perhaps 50 Sheds of Grey :biggrin:

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b42wr9rQ6l8/UI8lriB_KKI/AAAAAAAAKq8/oQnxKNmDLt0/s1600/50+sheds+of+grey+2.JPG

:ohmy::blush::roflmao:

jojo2316
26-04-19, 21:34
4767

KK77
26-04-19, 22:02
4767


New avatar, JoJo? :whistles:

pulisa
27-04-19, 08:22
Dear God....That's Cor-Vid-Hid(eous)

MyNameIsTerry
28-04-19, 02:08
So that's why all those young ladies at Glastonbury are chanting "Ooohhh, Jeremy Cooorrrr-byn" :biggrin:

He does pull it off! :yesyes:

MyNameIsTerry
28-04-19, 02:10
Pulisa, it sounds like a really nice trip and you packed a fair bit in. How was your daughter? Did she enjoy herself? Is she ok if she perceives you are in control? Just wondering because it must be some comfort knowing you can give her a good time despite how hard it must feel to keep things inside and cope with it all.

pulisa
28-04-19, 08:49
She does need me to be in control, Terry. It was a new place so she needed to pack everything in and not miss anything on her agenda. Things must be "perfect" including photos. She finds it hard if I make a mistake using the street map so I have to memorise routes. I do tell her that I haven't been here before and that it is ok to make a mistake. Fortunately everyone spoke English in Bruges so this helped (I don't speak Flemish but can get by in French). It's considered "rude" to speak French in Bruges though!!
But yes..it's hard for me to keep things in and cope. She has felt wiped out these last few days which is unusual for her because she normally doesn't allow herself to rest.

Carnation
28-04-19, 10:52
I can't even imagine what work you must have to put in to a trip with your daughter and to a certain extent it must have felt like you were on trial. Carrying your own pain too. Well, you did incredibly well. Never underestimate the power of 'Will' and 'Determination.'
And... did you get any chocolate? :D

MyNameIsTerry
28-04-19, 17:00
That was handy if you needed some directions. I didn't know that about speaking French there, that must date back a bit. I'll add that to my cultural file next to "don't sing the Spanish national anthem whilst holldaying in Catalonia" :winks: I guess the response would be like an old boss of mine who gave me daggers for not realising Geordies don't like being lumped in with Mackams :ohmy::biggrin:

Is it a good sign that she is wiped out? Is it just a good sort of wiped out and not from being overwhelmed? Perhaps you can get your feet up and relax for a bit too?

Yes, did you get any choccies?!!! :emot-drool: I used to watch Coach Trip (before they spoiled it and turned it into just young people on E4) and they used to go around choccy shops, they looked amazing!

pulisa
28-04-19, 18:10
There are chocolate shops everywhere-also waffle and marzipan outlets. My daughter enjoyed a special hot chocolate drink served with accompanying chocolates made on the premises and we also brought back quite a few "samples" including a chocolate spanner! The natives must be sick of the sight of chocolate!

She's been really tired today and hasn't been into work. I think she is mentally and physically shattered. Sadly we returned to face an end of life situation in the family so I have been very busy helping out and this is unsettling for her.

Carnation
28-04-19, 19:19
Oh no Pulisa, sorry to hear that.
I expect your daughter was pumping adrenalin like there was no tomorrow. But what an experience for your daughter.
A chocolate spanner? Do you compliment that with a screwdriver as a drink? :)
I'm so pleased you went on the trip and got through the challenge. x

Scass
28-04-19, 19:22
Sorry to hear of the problems you’ve been facing now you’re back.

Belgium sounds wonderful. I want to go.


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pulisa
28-04-19, 19:41
It's pretty easy to get there on the Eurostar, Scass. Free travel on to any Belgian station from Brussels Midi

Thanks, Carnation xx I think they make chocolate everythings in Bruges! There were even mini chocolate eggs on the hotel breakfast buffet menu! My daughter was pleased that she could get ITV at the hotel so she was able to watch Emmerdale! It all helps!

jojo2316
28-04-19, 21:45
Things sound pretty intense at the moment Pulisa- I hope it doesn’t drag on too much. Also that your daughter recovers soon from all her Bruges excitement. You must be pretty shattered too? But carrying on regardless?
xxx

MyNameIsTerry
29-04-19, 04:54
Really sorry to hear about a member of the family at that stage :hugs: You know we are hear if you need us. Hopefully there are enough of you to spread the load but emotionally I guess you have to take things as they come and just do what you can.

Hopefully a day of rest will help her recover. I'm assuming that breaking her routine will be hard in of itself and she does love work if it's the piggies she's working with?

I think I would ahve come back from your trip needing to let my belt out a few holes :whistles: I love waffles and marzipan. My brother brought me back a chocolate spanner form somewhere in Europe, it might have been Belgium then. The chocolate was lovely, really thick.

Not too far from me we have the Walkers toffee factory. The smell is amazing when they are doing their batches but it must make the workers feel queasy.

pulisa
01-05-19, 20:59
Thanks to everyone again fro all the support and encouragement. I need to take a break from NMP as my therapy starts next week and the expected family bereavement has just happened today so there is a lot to do.

Wishing everyone well and I'll be back soon xxx

jojo2316
01-05-19, 21:40
So sorry to hear this Pulisa. My love and thoughts are with you and your family
xxxx

Carnation
01-05-19, 21:47
I will be thinking of you Pulisa and hope everything goes smoothly. x

Scass
02-05-19, 09:17
Sending love Pulisa, look after yourself lots xx


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BlueIris
02-05-19, 09:25
So sorry for your loss, Pulisa x Take care of yourself and take all the time you need.

Elen
02-05-19, 10:20
Sounds like a brilliant trip but horrible to now have to deal with such horrible news.

I will keep everything crossed for you and your family, and good luck at therapy.

MyNameIsTerry
03-05-19, 07:09
Sorry to hear about the bereavement, pulisa :hugs: Best wishes to your family at this awful time :flowers: