Ebony

[whispershadow]

please don't leave me, please come back to me sweetpea :frown:

[BlueIris]

Are you okay, WS?

[whispershadow]

no it's approaching the anniversary of Ebony getting sick and going to the vet then never coming home :frown:

I killed her by taking her in :weep:

[BlueIris]

I'm sure you didn't. Sometimes these things just happen and I'm sure you gave her a beautiful life.

I lost my favourite-ever cat in October 2017, so I have an idea of how much you're hurting right now. It will get easier, though.

[KK77]

Your guilt is a normal part of grieving, Whisper. We do our best for our pets and sometimes that ends in heartache when they are unwell.

Think of Ebony in a happy place and free from suffering and pain.

[whispershadow]

I could of saved her though :frown:

If I'd known it wasn't her asthma it was something more serious I'd of got her to the vet earlier and they may of been able to do something :weep:

Ebony saved me when she came into my life, the least I could of done was save her in return :frown:

She came from such a broke situation, abused and abandoned on the streets and left for dead along with her kittens :weep:

[BlueIris]

Cats are really good at hiding when they're sick, though. You're not to blame for this.

[whispershadow]

The vet thought at first it was her asthma acting up so sent her home with new medication to try but she got no better, she was at least 7 so should of had longer with me, I do deeply miss her :weep:

https://photobucket.com/gallery/user/rescuecatsrule/media/cGF0aDpFYm9ueSBhbmQgVGlnZ2VyL0RTQ04wMzE1X3pwc25pdW 4wN3ptLmpwZw==/?ref=1

[BlueIris]

Of course you do, but in time that will fade and the happy memories will be all that remain.

[whispershadow]

A rare play photo of my baby:

:frown:

https://photobucket.com/gallery/user/rescuecatsrule/media/cGF0aDpFYm9ueSBhbmQgVGlnZ2VyL0RTQ04wMzE3X3pwc2E5bH R5cmxuLmpwZw==/?ref=1

[BlueIris]

Oh, wow, she looks so lovely!

I bet she had a sweet nature.

[whispershadow]

Oh, wow, she looks so lovely!

I bet she had a sweet nature.

She was so gorgeous, despite being timid due to what she suffered, it was amazing she was willing to put her trust in people again after what the human race did to her :wub:

---------- Post added at 15:51 ---------- Previous post was at 15:49 ----------

I probably posted this thread in the wrong place, idk, bad whispershadow :lac:

[BlueIris]

I'm sure the mods will move it, it's not a big deal. The forum where I mod is way stricter than this and we never tell people off for posting in the wrong place.

I have a couple of ginger and white males at home - the little one was rescued by people who didn't know much about cats after his mother abandoned him. When I got him I'd never seen a cat with so many fleas, but he's honestly the most gentle cat you could ever imagine, he never even uses his claws.

[whispershadow]

Tigger's my last link to Ebony. When Tigger goes, that will destroy me :weep:

I got Willow after Ebony passed away, Willow will help me hold on until she's gone cause Willow's unrehomable like Ebony was :wub:

[Carnation]

Hi Whisper :hugs:
I know a lot about cats.
Apart from owning quite a few throughout my life, I worked for the RSPCA and Animal Rescue Centre.
I've taken in quite a few strays and abandoned cats and kittens.
I also know how it feels to lose one of my babies and make decisions concerning their health.
What you feel is pretty much how I feel Everytime I loose one of my cats. So much guilt and remorse.
"Did I do the right thing", "Did I do enough?"
All I can say is you have to see it like this......
You gave your cat a home and a very loving owner.
You did probably more than the average person and made what you thought was the right decision.
You do not have the knowledge to know medically what is wrong. But you cared and loved as much as you could.
You are a good person and deserve to feel free from any guilt. You will continue to be that caring person and continue to share that love. :hugs: x

[whispershadow]

Hi Whisper :hugs:
I know a lot about cats.
Apart from owning quite a few throughout my life, I worked for the RSPCA and Animal Rescue Centre.
I've taken in quite a few strays and abandoned cats and kittens.
I also know how it feels to lose one of my babies and make decisions concerning their health.
What you feel is pretty much how I feel Everytime I loose one if my cats. So much guilt and remorse.
"Did I do the right thing", "Did I do enough?"
All I can say is you have to see it like this......
You have your cat a home and a very loving owner.
You did probably more than the average person and made what you thought was the right decision.
You do not have the knowledge to know medically what is wrong. But you cared and loved as much as you could.
You are a good person and deserve to feel free from any guilt. You will continue to be that caring person and continue to share that love. :hugs: x

I remember I used to get up at 3am every morning to check on her, when it was just her asthma and tummy troubles affecting her (and would then go back to bed until it was time to get up for work), is this something another human would of done to help her? 3am was a bad time for her for some unknown reason. Every morning she'd have her asthma flare up at that time. I could set the clock by her asthma flaring up and I still don't know why this was. Vet didn't know either.

Poor baby was having fits over the last few days of her life, her last night she kept walking in circles and fell down the stairs several times despite Tigger positioning herself between Ebony and the rest of the staircase, so Ebony had Tigger one side and the wall on the other, Tigger pulled her weight for helping as well, if I didn't get up at 3am on the dot Tigger would come and tell me "time to check on Ebony".

But if the rescue guessed her age right, she was only 7 when I lost her, idk if this makes me a bad meowmy and I fretted about having Tigger took away cause of losing Ebony so soon and Ebony was my world :weep:

The vet mentioned days before I took her in for the last time the whole "might be time to think about letting her go, your choice is we do tests to find out what's wrong or we send her to sleep now and don't let her wake up" :frown: I chose the tests, but they showed the lumps had likely got to her brain so idk if I made the right call letting her live for a few more days, it was the 28th Febuary that I took her in and then the 2nd March that she took her last breath after the tests :weep:

[Carnation]

Whisper, getting up at a 3am to check on your cat is someone who cares massively about well-being and not many people would not have the dedication that you have. I have a cat that wakes me up in the middle of the night for biscuits. It doesn't even matter if I leave them out. Cats are creatures of habit.
Letting go is almost impossible. I don't think us humans manage to do that very well and we shouldn't have to go through that at all. But sometimes we have to because we don't want to see them suffering.
Cats are different to us humans, they have no awareness of death and live in the moment all the time.
I think you made the right choice in having the tests done, otherwise you would be torturing yourself that you didn't have them done.
In my opinion you went above and beyond to do all that you could and in time you will grow to realise this. :hugs: x

[MyNameIsTerry]

You took in a cat that hadn't known the love you showed her. She could have had a shorter life without you or never known that feeling of safety & trust. She gave you your life back but you did the same for her as you gave her something she may never otherwise have had.

The vet didn't see either and he/she is trained. You went with their guidance and very sadly it went wrong. But when it came to what must have been a very hard decision, you did what was best for Ebony. You took away her pain. She would have loved you for that and to the end for all the things you gave her.

[Liddy1993]

You poor thing. I had this happen with my dog before she had been acting funny and I didn’t think it was anything serious until the next morning and when I brought her to the vet there was nothing he could do and told me animals hide when they’re sick or in pain so there was nothing I could do but I still felt so guilty. Now after 4 years I know I did the best for her and stayed with her till the end and that she loved me as much as I loved her in all the years we spent together. I won’t lie it took me awhile but I can smile now and think of her and know I did my best, sending love to you you’ll eventually get there too don’t be so hard on yourself she knew she was loved. X

[Pkstracy]

I had to put my beautiful cat down two years ago due to her getting gum disease and being allergic to the buildup, she was in pain, we could have had all her teeth taken out but that would have been no life for her, I blamed myself for what happened, vet told me really that it wasn't fault and that I did the best thing, sorry you are having a rough time.

[whispershadow]

You took in a cat that hadn't known the love you showed her. She could have had a shorter life without you or never known that feeling of safety & trust. She gave you your life back but you did the same for her as you gave her something she may never otherwise have had.

The vet didn't see either and he/she is trained. You went with their guidance and very sadly it went wrong. But when it came to what must have been a very hard decision, you did what was best for Ebony. You took away her pain. She would have loved you for that and to the end for all the things you gave her.

We know she wouldn't of lived as long as she did, the vet when she was rescued thought she'd only make it another 2 years, she had 4 years with me before this happened to my precious sweetpea :wub:

What we know is she was on the streets and she was already sick when rescue took her in with her kittens that survived and someone had hit her across the ribs at some point, xray showed a old break across her ribs and we *think* (although would never be able to prove) that someone hit her deliberate with a stick :curse:

[MyNameIsTerry]

We know she wouldn't of lived as long as she did, the vet when she was rescued thought she'd only make it another 2 years, she had 4 years with me before this happened to my precious sweetpea :wub:

What we know is she was on the streets and she was already sick when rescue took her in with her kittens that survived and someone had hit her across the ribs at some point, xray showed a old break across her ribs and we *think* (although would never be able to prove) that someone hit her deliberate with a stick :curse:

:mad: I just can't understand cruelty to animals. Sick people.

So, you did so well caring for her that you doubled her life expectancy even in a home. Doesn't that show how well cared for she was and how much you loved her? You wouldn't do anything to harm her or let he experience harm and part of grieving is going to be accepting what you really did, all the good for her. In time, I hope you can.

My GF's family have always had a few cats at a time, always rescues. They were adopted by a stray a few years back who just turned up near winter. He started coming closer to the house for food they left him and eventually he just came in. He lived only a few years too and had signs of various injuries which the vet suspected meant he had been hit by a car. Despite it all he was a nice cat and friendly.

Next doors cat is a rescue. She is very timid though. Mental scars of her earlier life. She's a bit more confident now after years at least.

[whispershadow]

Ebony was always nervous and timid but amazingly she accepted people once she knew who they was (she'd hang back assessing who this new person was before risking saying hello, but would fret and run if the new person walked up to her) :wub:

[fishman65]

Whispershadow, those cats are very lucky to have you. Some people are indeed cruel and sadly there is little we can do to change them. But someone like you, who clearly has a big heart and bags of love, more than makes up for the wicked people in this world.

I've grown up with cats and indeed dogs. In fact, horses, ducks, hens, geese, owls, kestrels, fish and even some sheep once. I had one cat die in my arms after the neighbour's dogs mauled him. I was 11. These things happen and sometimes stay with you. I'll never forget that cat, he was only half grown and I hadn't even given him a name. But despite dying in that horrible way he had a happy life up until that moment, I console myself with that knowledge.

Ebony will live on forever in your heart but you don't need me to tell you that. Take care of yourself and just keep doing what you're doing :hugs:

[whispershadow]

Whispershadow, those cats are very lucky to have you. Some people are indeed cruel and sadly there is little we can do to change them. But someone like you, who clearly has a big heart and bags of love, more than makes up for the wicked people in this world.

I've grown up with cats and indeed dogs. In fact, horses, ducks, hens, geese, owls, kestrels, fish and even some sheep once. I had one cat die in my arms after the neighbour's dogs mauled him. I was 11. These things happen and sometimes stay with you. I'll never forget that cat, he was only half grown and I hadn't even given him a name. But despite dying in that horrible way he had a happy life up until that moment, I console myself with that knowledge.

Ebony will live on forever in your heart but you don't need me to tell you that. Take care of yourself and just keep doing what you're doing :hugs:

I'm so sorry about your cat :hugs:

Ebony was one in a million and I'll miss her forever :frown: