Rebecca10
28-02-19, 00:13
I feel completely stupid. I work away a lot and I’ve just called work to say I won’t be in tomorrow. This is because I had a smear test on Monday and I’m fearful of the result.
I already posted a little about this on another forum, but to give an idea - I had my first smear at 25 -results came back mild changes and positive for HPV. Had colposcopy - no pre cancerous cells found - told to return for regular smear in 3 years. Had that in 2016 and got a ‘normal’ result and negative for HPV. Was sent another letter a year later (not sure why?!) to get another routine smear but haven’t been for it until this last Monday (approx 2 years and 4 months since last one)
Anyway I bled during this smear which I’ve never done before so obviously I panicked. Nurse didn’t say much.. apart from ‘oh there’s some blood here have you been bleeding between periods?’ Which again set me off. As far as I’m aware I’ve never noticed any bleeding before but now I’m starting to worry and think what if it was just mixed within my pee and I didn’t notice it on toilet paper?!
I went to the doctors today for some reassurance and she started talking about ectropian - the nurse had left a note on my file saying I had a small ectropian but she didn’t mention this to me. So that’s probably why I bled.
Anyway worrying has got the better of me - I left the doctors feeling ok (ish) but then I started googling and looking into ectropian- it does seem ‘normal’ and common however I’m not on the pill, haven’t got children and I’ve not had sex for a long time so I don’t understand why I’ve got it really.
I’m just a nervous wreck waiting for my results. I just couldn’t face work tomorrow as it involves travelling abroad and I didn’t want to be away for so many days with a bunch of strangers while all this is going on in my head.
But now I feel utterly stupid because not only have I spent a load of money travelling down the the hotel I normally stay at before work but I’ll have to face my family tomorrow when I travel back - (my mum knows everything but I don’t want anyone else to know) and I feel so embarrassed.
I really wish I wasn’t like this! I can’t seem to deal with the slightest bit of uncertainty 😫
I already posted a little about this on another forum, but to give an idea - I had my first smear at 25 -results came back mild changes and positive for HPV. Had colposcopy - no pre cancerous cells found - told to return for regular smear in 3 years. Had that in 2016 and got a ‘normal’ result and negative for HPV. Was sent another letter a year later (not sure why?!) to get another routine smear but haven’t been for it until this last Monday (approx 2 years and 4 months since last one)
Anyway I bled during this smear which I’ve never done before so obviously I panicked. Nurse didn’t say much.. apart from ‘oh there’s some blood here have you been bleeding between periods?’ Which again set me off. As far as I’m aware I’ve never noticed any bleeding before but now I’m starting to worry and think what if it was just mixed within my pee and I didn’t notice it on toilet paper?!
I went to the doctors today for some reassurance and she started talking about ectropian - the nurse had left a note on my file saying I had a small ectropian but she didn’t mention this to me. So that’s probably why I bled.
Anyway worrying has got the better of me - I left the doctors feeling ok (ish) but then I started googling and looking into ectropian- it does seem ‘normal’ and common however I’m not on the pill, haven’t got children and I’ve not had sex for a long time so I don’t understand why I’ve got it really.
I’m just a nervous wreck waiting for my results. I just couldn’t face work tomorrow as it involves travelling abroad and I didn’t want to be away for so many days with a bunch of strangers while all this is going on in my head.
But now I feel utterly stupid because not only have I spent a load of money travelling down the the hotel I normally stay at before work but I’ll have to face my family tomorrow when I travel back - (my mum knows everything but I don’t want anyone else to know) and I feel so embarrassed.
I really wish I wasn’t like this! I can’t seem to deal with the slightest bit of uncertainty 😫