View Full Version : At my wit’s end
I’m a 27 year old male and have had twitching for about 2 months now. The twitching is mostly located in my calves, but has happened pretty much everywhere on my body by now at some point, including my face, neck, and abdomen. Sometimes I get temporary big thumpers that are especially annoying and never come back, but I usually get smaller twitches. Some days I will go hours without feeling 1 twitch anywhere, but other times it feels like constant bubbling in my legs. I’m also getting vibrations and weird pins and needles feelings. I keep waking up every day wondering if I’ll trip and never be able to walk again or be unable to lift my hand, but I seem to be as physically strong as ever, which is pretty strong.
I am terrified of ALS and have been for years. I won’t go to the doctor because I won’t believe them if they tell me I don’t have ALS. Even if I get a thorough exam and am cleared by a neurologist with an EMG, I’ll think about the stories about people having twitching and being diagnosed with ALS months later. There is the case of that baseball player around my age who had twitching in his arm and ended up having ALS. I don’t accept that people can just develop twitching out of nowhere without an injury or disease like ALS. I keep reading about benign fascination syndrome, but I don’t consider it a legitimate diagnosis. It sounds like “Well we don’t know what’s wrong, so here’s a label to make you happy.” People shouldn’t just start having long term twitching without a disease. I also won’t go to therapy because I don’t have time for it and I don’t know any other guys that go to therapy. Yeah
I’m at a point where I don’t like living anymore because of the uncertainty. I have put off long term plans like going for my master’s degree and trying to date, and avoid socializing for the most part because I don’t want to bring other people down. I’ve thought extensively about what I would do if I was diagnosed with ALS and have already run through how I would tell my family, friends, etc. I don’t think I will ever get used to the twitching like I did tinnitus
You have posted on this topic before but have deleted your threads.
You had a number of helpful replies on those threads.
If you would like them set live again so that you can read the replies let admin know
Am I going to regret replying, as you discard my message also? (as you've done others)
I don’t accept that people can just develop twitching out of nowhere without an injury or disease like ALS. I keep reading about benign fascination syndrome, but I don’t consider it a legitimate diagnosis.
I am making an assumption that some of the replies on the other threads made mention of fasciculation (not fascination lol) syndrome as benign, and anxiety as being a cause of muscle twitching. If they did then...they are quite right, as adrenaline, tension and so on can certainly cause it to happen. I personally have had fasciculation on a pretty grand scale for 3 years now. I am female and mine started as my hormone levels started dropping, but I know of plenty of people on here who have the issue with no 'medical cause'. Sometimes the human body just reacts in certain ways, and a diagnosis isn't needed for everything, as long as you know its no threat to you. When something is idopathic it doesn't mean there isn't something causing it, but it means that the cause is unknown and serious reasons have been ruled out. You can NOT ACCEPT it all you like, but the reality is that people do get it without a disease or ALS
BFS - overactivity of the nerves associated with the twitching muscle. The cause is often idiopathic, which means it's unknown. Some studies have shown some association between fasciculations and a stressful time.
You have said that you are 'as physically strong as ever'. Well, there we go then - there is no weakness and therefore it is not ALS (MND).
Benign fasciculation syndrome symptoms
The main symptom of benign fasciculation syndrome is persistent muscle twitching, tingling, or numbness. These symptoms happen when the muscle is resting. As soon as the muscle moves, the twitching stops.
The twitches occur most often in the thighs and calves, but they may occur in several parts of the body. Twitching may only be every now and then, or it may be almost all the time.
People often worry that fasciculations are related to a serious neuromuscular condition like ALS. It’s worth noting that fasciculations aren’t the only symptoms of ALS. In benign fasciculation syndrome, fasciculations are the main symptoms. In ALS, fasciculations are also accompanied by other problems such as worsening weakness, trouble gripping small objects, and difficulty walking, talking, or swallowing.
You seem a pretty 'textbook' BFS case, with mostly twitching in your calves!
I would suggest that you stop putting your life on hold, start living.
Am I going to regret replying, as you discard my message also? (as you've done others)
I am making an assumption that some of the replies on the other threads made mention of fasciculation (not fascination lol) syndrome as benign, and anxiety as being a cause of muscle twitching. If they did then...they are quite right, as adrenaline, tension and so on can certainly cause it to happen. I personally have had fasciculation on a pretty grand scale for 3 years now. I am female and mine started as my hormone levels started dropping, but I know of plenty of people on here who have the issue with no 'medical cause'. Sometimes the human body just reacts in certain ways, and a diagnosis isn't needed for everything, as long as you know its no threat to you. When something is idopathic it doesn't mean there isn't something causing it, but it means that the cause is unknown and serious reasons have been ruled out. You can NOT ACCEPT it all you like, but the reality is that people do get it without a disease or ALS
You have said that you are 'as physically strong as ever'. Well, there we go then - there is no weakness and therefore it is not ALS (MND).
You seem a pretty 'textbook' BFS case, with mostly twitching in your calves!
I would suggest that you stop putting your life on hold, start living.
I know it’s a good sign I don’t have weakness now. I’m afraid of developing weakness down the road. I’ve heard of people getting twitching with no apparent weakness and get diagnosed with ALS down the road. I’m waking up every day expecting to trip or not be able to lift a cup.
nomorepanic
01-03-19, 19:28
If you do get diagnosed down the line then you will have to face it but for now you have to start living.
This is the thing isn't it......ALS is a possibility for anybody (a close family member of mine has had it for 12 years!), but, at this point in time you are showing no signs of having it, and you are showing signs of having a benign twitching problem. MND isn't as simple as a bit of twitching all over the place, here and there, there are various subtle changes that you would also be aware of.
I am presuming you have seen a doctor?
This is the thing isn't it......ALS is a possibility for anybody (a close family member of mine has had it for 12 years!), but, at this point in time you are showing no signs of having it, and you are showing signs of having a benign twitching problem. MND isn't as simple as a bit of twitching all over the place, here and there, there are various subtle changes that you would also be aware of.
I am presuming you have seen a doctor?
I have not. The reason for that is that even if I have the EMG done, which I will probably have to wait a month or two for, I will still believe it was done too soon. So I will be dealing with extra anxiety and still be skeptical even if the results are clean.
Besides not getting the answers you wanted, now I know why you deleted the other threads. This is going in the same direction :doh:
Positive thoughts
So, why did you delete the other threads - be honest....
So, why did you delete the other threads - be honest....
I didn’t feel like I expressed myself as well as I would have liked, in terms of symptoms I was experiencing and the overall situation. I also feel like the answers weren’t really relevant to my situation. I feel like there aren’t too many people who’ve had the twitching as long as I have.
nomorepanic
01-03-19, 20:11
I can re-open them for you
I can re-open them for you
Sure
I didn’t feel like I expressed myself as well as I would have liked, in terms of symptoms I was experiencing and the overall situation. I also feel like the answers weren’t really relevant to my situation. I feel like there aren’t too many people who’ve had the twitching as long as I have.
OK, well, I didn't see the other thread, so can't comment on how you expressed yourself. I have seen so many people on here who have had twitching for months and years longer than you. There are hundreds of them; threads about ALS and twitching, I will do a search now and pick out a few 'twitching' ones, but I guarantee most of the ALS fear ones also bring up twitching!!!!
(https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?228112-TWITCHING&highlight=Twitching)https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?228112-TWITCHING&highlight=Twitching
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?226075-Muscle-twitching&highlight=Twitching
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?224770-Twitching-for-two-months&highlight=Twitching
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?190035-Muscle-twitches-please-help-me!!&highlight=Twitching
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?218456-Another-twitcher-worried-about-ALS-(&highlight=Twitching
OK, well, I didn't see the other thread, so can't comment on how you expressed yourself. I have seen so many people on here who have had twitching for months and years longer than you. There are hundreds of them; threads about ALS and twitching, I will do a search now and pick out a few 'twitching' ones, but I guarantee most of the ALS fear ones also bring up twitching!!!!
Well it’s just a really weird experience for me. I remember first reading about twitching 5+ years ago when I was in college. I remember having widespread twitching like I do now that lasted long enough that took time to read about it and learned about BFS, but the twitching seemed to have gone away until I got a sinus infection a couple months ago. At the time I had read about ALS, but I was less concerned then because I had this feeling that age was on my side back then (I was probably 21 or 22). I have always had occasional twitching, but I’m talking a random twitch every so often, not persistent twitching. Now I often feel like my calves are popping unless I’m relaxed and haven’t been exercising, because exercising seems to make it temporarily worse. I usually get a break if I’m laying in bed or I’m spending time with friends. Then there are the twitches that I call “thumpers.” I will get the smaller, occasional in my calves and sometimes get these intense thumpers in my chest or tricep that last a few hours. I have gone days where I feel like I had little to no twitching at all and other days where the twitching is more constant.
I almost left work early today because I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack, mostly due to work-related stress, but partially because I started thinking too much about the twitching. I feel like I have no one to talk to because if I visit BFS forums, I come across horror stories and people with worse HA than mine, and I’m hesitant to talk to my friends because I don’t want them to view me as a worrier. My friends view me as a stoic guy who doesn’t worry or get emotional about things and the last thing I want is them to see me as a headcase. I’ve always had a lot of anxiety, but I do an extremely good job at hiding this fact. I haven’t gone to therapy for this reason and am open to solutions that don’t involve me seeing a therapist.
I haven’t gone to therapy for this reason and am open to solutions that don’t involve me seeing a therapist.
That leaves meds and self help and realistically, based on the patterns in your posts, I don't see you in a mentally appropriate state of mind to really tackle self help :unsure: I don't mean to be discouraging, I just think you really shouldn't rule out real life professional help.
Positive thoughts
I personally don't see 'meds' as the immediate answer for everybody and Self-help to my mind is always a possibility, there are free cognitive therapy links somewhere.....now let me see, it was Terry who posted them I think? You need to be disciplined and show strength of will with books and online courses, and be able to learn new techniques without the support of a therapist - but of course it can be done and for many it works well.
I am more certain than ever reading your last post that your twitching muscles (yes, I know what you mean about the 'thumping' also!) are related to anxiety....I'd put a LOT of money on it if you were running a book ? :winks:I'll be back once I've found what I'm looking for.....
MyNameIsTerry
02-03-19, 05:02
Can you see your calves twitching? The reason I ask is your first post appears to talk about more than one symptom.
You mention bubbling, vibration under the skin, etc. This has been one of my symptoms from after about 6 months of my anxiety, it came around the time of my breakdown (don't worry I'm not implying it is connected, just when I started having more symptoms) and it has been there for around 12 years now. It's pretty much daily and can be there a fair amount of the day.
Do you find if you get up or walk around you stop feeling this buzzing? If so this is more the adrenaline issue in anxiety. It's incredibly common, one member termed it the "buzzing bees".
Anxiety is one disorder that can bring on all sorts of paraesthesia.
As I worked in recovery I found symptoms like this become more background noise.
Carys - yes, there are self help Mindfulness links in my signature. One is a full free MBSR course. Otherwise for CBT it's Robin's CBT4PANIC although it's not geared towards OCD so it would be a good idea to supplement with something like the HA workbooks which Robin has a sticky for above (they are not his work).
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?211324-9-FREE-CBT-ebooks-for-Health-Anxiety
Is it this one Terry?
Have a look at it beq, the above link and also this one I found...
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?112515-Podcast-about-health-anxiety-I-found-interesting
There are quite a few interesting/helpful 'stickies' at the top of the forum.
MyNameIsTerry
02-03-19, 12:12
Yep, that's the CCL workbooks. Robin's own course can be found as a sticky on the Panic Disorder board.
Got it, thanks.
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?215127-FREE-Online-CBT-programme-for-Panic-Disorder
Can you see your calves twitching? The reason I ask is your first post appears to talk about more than one symptom.
You mention bubbling, vibration under the skin, etc. This has been one of my symptoms from after about 6 months of my anxiety, it came around the time of my breakdown (don't worry I'm not implying it is connected, just when I started having more symptoms) and it has been there for around 12 years now. It's pretty much daily and can be there a fair amount of the day.
Do you find if you get up or walk around you stop feeling this buzzing? If so this is more the adrenaline issue in anxiety. It's incredibly common, one member termed it the "buzzing bees".
Anxiety is one disorder that can bring on all sorts of paraesthesia.
As I worked in recovery I found symptoms like this become more background noise.
Carys - yes, there are self help Mindfulness links in my signature. One is a full free MBSR course. Otherwise for CBT it's Robin's CBT4PANIC although it's not geared towards OCD so it would be a good idea to supplement with something like the HA workbooks which Robin has a sticky for above (they are not his work).
Yes, I can see the twitching. Sometimes it is really obvious and I can see them through my clothes, like when I get the big thumpers (which don’t happen often), but usually they are more subtle. The vibrations usually happen in my feet and legs, and I cannot see any twitching when these vibrations happen. I find when I walk around that everything seems to go away and the twitching usually calms down as the day goes on.
MyNameIsTerry
02-03-19, 14:23
So that vibration is really the buzzing we feel as an anxiety symptom. It is incredibly common and there numerous threads about it and the many years we've had it.It's pretty much a symptom with something like GAD anyway (which is my primary diagnosis) as we are just constantly anxious.
The twitches you can see are the more common twitches we would see if threads like this and not the vibration ones. When you get up and move about your body will start to metabolise adrenaline into other chemicals it needs. This is another reason why exercise is useful in anxiety as it will force the body to act on the excess adrenaline we tend to have.
I wonder whether your big thumper are more ectopics? Again another very common anxiety symptom. It's pretty common to see HAers worrying about ALS because if the twitches or heart problems because of the ectopics. But there are many of us without HA who experience it too.
The worse my anxiety the more I would experience this stuff. Legs shooting out of bed or hypnic jolts everywhere. If the adrenaline was really bad my chest would be fluttering which is likely connected to the fact we store amounts of adrenaline around certain important organs?
Have you looked into these reasons? Or have you jumped straight towards ALS?
To be honest I question BS a lot too because I feel like it's putting a separate label to what is more a symptom as opposed to categorisation of it. It gets seen as a separate disorder but is it?
So that vibration is really the buzzing we feel as an anxiety symptom. It is incredibly common and there numerous threads about it and the many years we've had it.It's pretty much a symptom with something like GAD anyway (which is my primary diagnosis) as we are just constantly anxious.
The twitches you can see are the more common twitches we would see if threads like this and not the vibration ones. When you get up and move about your body will start to metabolise adrenaline into other chemicals it needs. This is another reason why exercise is useful in anxiety as it will force the body to act on the excess adrenaline we tend to have.
I wonder whether your big thumper are more ectopics? Again another very common anxiety symptom. It's pretty common to see HAers worrying about ALS because if the twitches or heart problems because of the ectopics. But there are many of us without HA who experience it too.
The worse my anxiety the more I would experience this stuff. Legs shooting out of bed or hypnic jolts everywhere. If the adrenaline was really bad my chest would be fluttering which is likely connected to the fact we store amounts of adrenaline around certain important organs?
Have you looked into these reasons? Or have you jumped straight towards ALS?
To be honest I question BS a lot too because I feel like it's putting a separate label to what is more a symptom as opposed to categorisation of it. It gets seen as a separate disorder but is it?
I have thought about other explanations, but ALS is the one my mind always settles on. When I was much younger, I saw a movie on Lou Gehrig, so I knew about ALS many years before the Ice Bucket Challenge made the disease much more well-known. Before the Ice Bucket Challenge, I think there were many people out there who had no idea what ALS is, other than they knew Stephen Hawking and Lou Gehrig had it. If I had random aches and pains when I was younger, I would sometimes think I had ALS. Now I know that aches and pains are not a direct symptom of ALS, but twitching is. I know that most ALS patients who experience twitching have it in the later stages, but there are stories about people who apparently started twitching before weakness and other symptoms appeared.
The story about the baseball player here in the US who apparently started twitching before other symptoms came up comes to mind. I read an article against my better judgment, and from what I gathered, his first symptom was twitching. I believe he injured his arm or something, then the twitching in his arm started. When I visited another forum, however, that was contradicted by one of his classmates who knew him and said that he had basically all of the other symptoms of ALS when the twitches came on and that he was diagnosed late because nobody assumed it was ALS because of his age and assumed it was a vitamin deficiency or electrolyte imbalance. I don’t know what version is true, but it’s whats driving my anxiety. I’ve heard that some doctors refuse to accept twitching as an initial symptom, but there seems to be at least some ALS patients who experience twitching before textbook symptoms like weakness, atrophy, and hyperflexia show up. That’s why I wake up every day wondering if this is the day I trip when I get out of bed or can’t hold a coffee mug.
Does anyone know anything about these cases involving people that supposedly experience twitching before other symptoms appear? My main concern is that the twitching is an early onset symptom of ALS
beq45.......did you see the links I put up above (searched and found on here) for free self-help ?
You seem to be ignoring the fact that literally the most common fear on here is ALS (MND for us UK readers), and twitching is practically always mentioned. None of those 'twitchers' that I'm aware has ever been diagnosed or gone on to have ALS.
beq45.......did you see the links I put up above (searched and found on here) for free self-help ?
You seem to be ignoring the fact that literally the most common fear on here is ALS (MND for us UK readers), and twitching is practically always mentioned. None of those 'twitchers' that I'm aware has ever been diagnosed or gone on to have ALS.
I did look at those links and appreciate your feedback. I understand that most twitchers don’t have ALS, but my question was regarding people who haven’t posted on here who apparently had twitching as an initial symptom and were eventually diagnosed with ALS. There seems to be a lot of conflicting information about whether or not twitching is actually an initial symptom of ALS or not. Some doctors seem to refuse to accept that twitching is an initial symptom, while I’ve seen statistics that show that twitching is an initial symptom in some cases. The only thing that seems certain is that twitching is not an initial symptom in the majority of ALS cases.
The only thing that is comforting to me is that I get the twitching in my eardrums, neck, and eyelids, so it’s not just happening in my limbs.
...People shouldn’t just start having long term twitching without a disease. I also won’t go to therapy because I don’t have time for it and I don’t know any other guys that go to therapy. Yeah ....
Before I even read the replies, I'm stopping right here. Sorry to be blunt OP (well sorry not sorry), but even though you seem so certain of everything quite frankly you're full of it and don't know shite.
I'm a guy. Totally regular dude. I go to therapy. I've gone for two years. It has helped tremendously. So that's one misconception you need to shake.
I've also had periods of long term twitching, bubbling, tingling etc. I don't have ALS. The symptoms were due to anxiety. Simple as that. I rarely get them anymore as my anxiety is largely under control. So that's another misconception you need to shake.
And quite frankly, why the concern about ALS? The pain you are causing yourself is far worse. Putting off your masters? Not socializing in your 20s? Not dating?? You're alive but you aren't living. You should be far more concerned about that. I implore you to seek professional help for your anxiety (and quite possibly depression).
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The only thing that seems certain is that twitching is not an initial symptom in the majority of ALS cases.
Yep....
...but what are you chasing here? What difference would it make for you to know that in 0.5% of cases of ALS, twitching was the first symptom (I made the stat up). The point is, you are anxious, all those hundreds who have posted have also been and they have described exactly what you describe.
Before I even read the replies, I'm stopping right here. Sorry to be blunt OP (well sorry not sorry), but even though you seem so certain of everything quite frankly you're full of it and don't know shite.
I'm a guy. Totally regular dude. I go to therapy. I've gone for two years. It has helped tremendously. So that's one misconception you need to shake.
I've also had periods of long term twitching, bubbling, tingling etc. I don't have ALS. The symptoms were due to anxiety. Simple as that. I rarely get them anymore as my anxiety is largely under control. So that's another misconception you need to shake.
And quite frankly, why the concern about ALS? The pain you are causing yourself is far worse. Putting off your masters? Not socializing in your 20s? Not dating?? You're alive but you aren't living. You should be far more concerned about that. I implore you to seek professional help for your anxiety (and quite possibly depression).
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The concern about ALS is it’s one of the most terrible diseases I can think of, besides Alzheimer’s, brain eating amoeba, and Fatal Familial Insomnia. I don’t worry about Alzheimer’s because most people who get it are elderly, brain eating amoeba cases make national news because it’s so rare, and Fatal Familial Insomnia is so rare that I believe experts with that disease know the name of everyone who has ever had it. ALS might be considered rare, but I know someone who had it in my town and I would argue that 5,000 new cases every year in the U.S. is really not that rare. That number means that in the average person’s lifetime, hundreds of thousands of people will have been diagnosed with ALS in the US.
I’ve thought a lot about whether I would let myself live to the point where ALS takes my whole body from me, or if I would take my own life before that happens. I don’t want to enter a relationship because that’s one more person that would worry about me and I hate the fact that my family might have to see me die from a terrible disease
The concern about ALS is it’s one of the most terrible diseases I can think of
Yes, indeed, its pretty hard to live with in later stages, and testament to that is that we probably have most posts out of any illness on this very forum. However, live with it people do! and I know a number of people with MND who are astounding in their positivity and live life with fullness and vigour. Please remember though, one person's hell (in terms of imagination of how it is to live with an illness) is not the same for everyone....and I know someone with MND who can list other illnesses/physical conditions they are more afraid of than MND !
I’ve thought a lot about whether I would let myself live to the point where ALS takes my whole body from me, or if I would take my own life before that happens. I don’t want to enter a relationship because that’s one more person that would worry about me and I hate the fact that my family might have to see me die from a terrible disease
Let me tell you this, all of us are gonna go at some point, obvious I know - but what about if everybody said 'well I'm gonna die one day, no point in forming any relationships, studying, living my life doing enjoyable things'. What a horrible, awful, unfulfilling way to live.
I remember first reading about twitching 5+ years ago when I was in college. I remember having widespread twitching like I do now that lasted long enough that took time to read about it and learned about BFS, but the twitching seemed to have gone away
So, you had it 5 years ago, and it went. It will go now also, eventually, because its NOT ALS.
Since coming to this forum,on 11th of last month ONLY, you have thought you might have; meningitis, early dementia, brain damage, lymphoma, brain injury, concussion and now ALS.
I will tell you this, I'm not surprised you are twitching with that much HA going on !!!
Since coming to this forum,on 11th of last month ONLY, you have thought you might have; meningitis, early dementia, brain damage, lymphoma, brain injury, concussion and now ALS.
I will tell you this, I'm not surprised you are twitching with that much HA going on !!!
Yes, the last couple of months have been very full of anxiety for me. I have been actually sick a couple of times recently, which doesn’t help. Recently, I have been stressed out quite a bit at work, have been very physically active, and had to say goodbye to my family dog who I grew up with. I also tend to have a lot of anxiety in general. I wonder if the sinus infection that appeared right before the twitching started was the final straw and my nervous system had enough in such a short period of time, with the mental and physical stress.
Since coming to this forum,on 11th of last month ONLY, you have thought you might have; meningitis, early dementia, brain damage, lymphoma, brain injury, concussion and now ALS.
I will tell you this, I'm not surprised you are twitching with that much HA going on !!!
Yes, the last couple of months have been very full of anxiety for me. I have been actually sick a couple of times recently, which doesn’t help. Recently, I have been stressed out quite a bit at work, have been very physically active, and had to say goodbye to my family dog who I grew up with. I also tend to have a lot of anxiety in general. I wonder if the sinus infection that appeared right before the twitching started was the final straw and my nervous system had enough in such a short period of time, with the mental and physical stress.
Answer these questions... What color is the sky? .... What you doing here is akin to imagining it's green and trying to convince a forum of strangers and yourself that it is. Don't work that way bro... :lac: Based on the above two quotes, the answer is quite apparent and its worth saying again....Get some REAL. LIFE. PROFESSIONAL. HELP!
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
03-03-19, 05:06
Certain infections can increase the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive cycles so it's a possibility but all the stress you are under is a very obvious cause.
Jray bumped something you said on the previous page about long term twitching having to be due to illness. That's just not true as experiences of people like myself can tell you. Plus what you are terming twitches aren't all twitches anyway.
We've had many ALS threads on here. We are yet to have someone actually end up having ALS. And I've seen my share of ALS threads start exclusively about twitching.
Certain infections can increase the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive cycles so it's a possibility but all the stress you are under is a very obvious cause.
Jray bumped something you said on the previous page about long term twitching having to be due to illness. That's just not true as experiences of people like myself can tell you. Plus what you are terming twitches aren't all twitches anyway.
We've had many ALS threads on here. We are yet to have someone actually end up having ALS. And I've seen my share of ALS threads start exclusively about twitching.
A big reason why the twitches bother me so much is I view them as something wrong with my body, like an imperfection or sign of damage. I would almost rather have them be caused by some actual disease than to live my entire life with a benign thing that most people can’t relate to. I know that sounds incredibly self-pitying, but it took me long enough to accept I’m going to have tinnitus the rest of my life, and that was over 10 years ago. If I have to live my entire life with my calves twitching, I might lose my mind. As it is, I will be hesitant to wear shorts during the summer because I don’t want people to see my legs and see the twitching happening.
I'm pretty sure most people twitch at some point, though, they just don't bother about it. I know I get twitches sometimes - occasionally they last for weeks.
The other thing I need to point out (and as a fellow anxiety person, I do empathise) is that people won't be looking at your legs. They're way, way too wrapped up in their own lives to notice if your muscles twitch a bit. It might seem like a massive, upsetting problem to you, but people will be thinking about their own massive, upsetting problems and chances are, you won't even register on their radar.
The concern about ALS is it’s one of the most terrible diseases I can think of, besides Alzheimer’s, brain eating amoeba, and Fatal Familial Insomnia. I don’t worry about Alzheimer’s because most people who get it are elderly, brain eating amoeba cases make national news because it’s so rare, and Fatal Familial Insomnia is so rare that I believe experts with that disease know the name of everyone who has ever had it. ALS might be considered rare, but I know someone who had it in my town and I would argue that 5,000 new cases every year in the U.S. is really not that rare. That number means that in the average person’s lifetime, hundreds of thousands of people will have been diagnosed with ALS in the US.
I’ve thought a lot about whether I would let myself live to the point where ALS takes my whole body from me, or if I would take my own life before that happens. I don’t want to enter a relationship because that’s one more person that would worry about me and I hate the fact that my family might have to see me die from a terrible disease
Yes, ALS certainty is a terrible disease and while rare, not completely rare like some of those others. That's not what i was getting at though when i ask why you fear it. ALS (or any terminal disease) will take everything away from a person...but from what I am reading, it sounds like you are already taking everything away from yourself - relationships, friends, career goals...other than added physical pain and hardship ALS can't really add much more suffering than you're already putting yourself through.
This is one health anxiety pattern I haven't personally dealt with. Despite my fears I never wanted to withdraw from life very much (although thoughts about burdening family or an SO with my obvious deathly illnesses had crossed my mind at times i never really latched onto those ideas or fed them). At most I'd skip a workout here and there for (irrational) fear of overloading my heart but that's about it. So I don't have any personal advice I can really offer in that regard (but others here do) which is why I think you should give professional help a shot. (start with the free links provided here ofc) I won't sugarcoat and say therapy works for everyone, but it does work for a lot of people and it doesn't make you weak or less of a man or anything like that for trying it. In a way I am similar to what you describe yourself as - a stoic, nothing seems to faze me personality...and most nothing does.. nobody who knows me would ever imagine in a million years that I went to therapy for anxiety - other than my closest friends and family who only know now because I told them about it.
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Midnight-mouse
03-03-19, 08:14
A big reason why the twitches bother me so much is I view them as something wrong with my body, like an imperfection or sign of damage.
I couldn’t disagree more, from my standing it’s nothing more than just being a normal human. The body does stuff that we would often prefer it not to. It’s a complex and frustrating system that often responds to stress and anxiety in ways that are less than favourable.
This is not a sign of weakness, but just your body responding to the sheer amount of anguish that we all, even those without illnesses carry.
As it is, I will be hesitant to wear shorts during the summer because I don’t want people to see my legs and see the twitching happening.
My partner twitches - he’s not an anxiety sufferer, but he finds them both funny any annoying. Funny because we’ve tried balancing really light objects on his limbs and waited to see if it will make them jump, but also annoying because as soon as he notices one he knows it will twitch for weeks if not longer. He still wears whatever it is he wants and it’s safe to say that no one has noticed. I also get persistent twitches but mine are always in my face, usually around my nose and eyes - they are definitely an anxious response for me and the more I think about them, the more likely they happen.
I do want to just bring up something that I read earlier in your thread and have been thinking about since you posted it - the issue with men going to therapy.
I don’t know if you are under the belief that it would be a hit to your outwardly ‘manliness’ but I can promise you there’s nothing wrong with a man taking the time to be emotionally well. In fact I personally find the level of emotional awareness and understanding of themselves far more attractive in a man as opposed to someone who would rather struggle on through with no help for fear of not keeping up appearances. Again this is not a weakness, but you also don’t have to share the fact that you’re seeing someone with anyone anyway.
Like I said my partner doesn’t suffer with mental illnesses the way we do, but he’s seen a therapist when things got tough. There’s absolutely no shame in that at all.
It’s clear that you’ve been carrying a lot with you, and after being physically ill and the emotional strain you’re bound to be worn down at the moment. I’m sorry for the difficult times you’ve had recently, particularly saying goodbye to your childhood dog. It’s incredibly painful and unfortunately something I’ve also experienced.
Try and take the time you need for yourself, self care is just as important as other things. If not arguably more so!
Positive vibes,
Mouse.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
A big reason why the twitches bother me so much is I view them as something wrong with my body, like an imperfection or sign of damage. I would almost rather have them be caused by some actual disease than to live my entire life with a benign thing that most people can’t relate to.
Temporary exhaustion of nerves and muscles, caused by your anxiety and adrenaline levels. Yes, its real and its there, but its NOT 'imperfection or damage'.....Honestly you need to sort out this thought process about benign human symptoms, otherwise older age is gonna be hideous for you :roflmao:! I have awful twitching, and the 'thumping' muscle thing, almost like its done a quick backflip contraction - it always comes on when I am sitting quietly and usually after exercise. I can see it clearly on each and every muscle and it moves around my whole body, with a one-off few minutes twitch, then move, a one off few minutes twitch then move.....etc. I have it sometimes a few weeks non-stop, then a week off maybe, then a few more weeks, stop for a couple of weeks. You get the idea, bottom cheek, bicep, calf, side of trunk, thigh (thats a common one for me). I don't seem to get it happening in my fingers or oddly calves. Why don't I think of ALS? I have no weakness, in two years, it comes and goes, It causes me no long-term problems. I won't deny the first time it started happening I did visit the GP, but that is another story as it started when I went onto a specific medication.
You have been given amazing advice and thoughts on this thread, looking back at other posters who have made comment they are the cream of the forum - knowledge and understanding about the reality of mental health problems. The others who have replied KNOW what you are talking about here, and it aint ALS. Many of us here have had our own treatment, we recognise your pattern of behaviour, the things you are saying - they aren't new or unique to you sadly - I went there myself over 30 years ago.
You have HAD THIS BEFORE. You admitted that, you are an educated person, that it came at times of anxiety and then it went. Please re-read the replies you have already had.
MyNameIsTerry
03-03-19, 13:56
A big reason why the twitches bother me so much is I view them as something wrong with my body, like an imperfection or sign of damage. I would almost rather have them be caused by some actual disease than to live my entire life with a benign thing that most people can’t relate to. I know that sounds incredibly self-pitying, but it took me long enough to accept I’m going to have tinnitus the rest of my life, and that was over 10 years ago. If I have to live my entire life with my calves twitching, I might lose my mind. As it is, I will be hesitant to wear shorts during the summer because I don’t want people to see my legs and see the twitching happening.
So you have issues with accepting uncertainty, perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking going on in here to name a few. All part of anxiety and all can be worked on.
What if you learned to accept bodies just do stuff like this as others have mentioned? That would take some of these negative thinking styles away and allow you to move on. And these symptoms would reduce or go in the process further allowing you to move on.
A diagnosis of an illness that causes this, and let's not forget anxiety disorders are also a medical diagnosis so you could work on accepting that :winks:, whilst meaning you may not be able to stop or only help alleviate it through treatment doesn't mean you don't learn to accept it. You have said you would accept this so doesn't this just take you back around to accepting an anxiety disorder as a legitimate form of illness that can cause it? This is a common battle for HAers who seem to struggle accepting mental health over physical health.
As also said, others are unlikely to spot any twitching if you wear shorts. Even if they did it's more a "oh look you twitch" rather than a deeper "they must have an illness".
Everyone twitches. If I watch my mum asleep she will twitch. My dog twitches loads in his sleep but then sometimes he even starts running :biggrin:
I couldn’t disagree more, from my standing it’s nothing more than just being a normal human. The body does stuff that we would often prefer it not to. It’s a complex and frustrating system that often responds to stress and anxiety in ways that are less than favourable.
This is not a sign of weakness, but just your body responding to the sheer amount of anguish that we all, even those without illnesses carry.
My partner twitches - he’s not an anxiety sufferer, but he finds them both funny any annoying. Funny because we’ve tried balancing really light objects on his limbs and waited to see if it will make them jump, but also annoying because as soon as he notices one he knows it will twitch for weeks if not longer. He still wears whatever it is he wants and it’s safe to say that no one has noticed. I also get persistent twitches but mine are always in my face, usually around my nose and eyes - they are definitely an anxious response for me and the more I think about them, the more likely they happen.
I do want to just bring up something that I read earlier in your thread and have been thinking about since you posted it - the issue with men going to therapy.
I don’t know if you are under the belief that it would be a hit to your outwardly ‘manliness’ but I can promise you there’s nothing wrong with a man taking the time to be emotionally well. In fact I personally find the level of emotional awareness and understanding of themselves far more attractive in a man as opposed to someone who would rather struggle on through with no help for fear of not keeping up appearances. Again this is not a weakness, but you also don’t have to share the fact that you’re seeing someone with anyone anyway.
Like I said my partner doesn’t suffer with mental illnesses the way we do, but he’s seen a therapist when things got tough. There’s absolutely no shame in that at all.
It’s clear that you’ve been carrying a lot with you, and after being physically ill and the emotional strain you’re bound to be worn down at the moment. I’m sorry for the difficult times you’ve had recently, particularly saying goodbye to your childhood dog. It’s incredibly painful and unfortunately something I’ve also experienced.
Try and take the time you need for yourself, self care is just as important as other things. If not arguably more so!
Positive vibes,
Mouse.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you for this thoughtful response.
So you have issues with accepting uncertainty, perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking going on in here to name a few. All part of anxiety and all can be worked on.
What if you learned to accept bodies just do stuff like this as others have mentioned? That would take some of these negative thinking styles away and allow you to move on. And these symptoms would reduce or go in the process further allowing you to move on.
A diagnosis of an illness that causes this, and let's not forget anxiety disorders are also a medical diagnosis so you could work on accepting that :winks:, whilst meaning you may not be able to stop or only help alleviate it through treatment doesn't mean you don't learn to accept it. You have said you would accept this so doesn't this just take you back around to accepting an anxiety disorder as a legitimate form of illness that can cause it? This is a common battle for HAers who seem to struggle accepting mental health over physical health.
As also said, others are unlikely to spot any twitching if you wear shorts. Even if they did it's more a "oh look you twitch" rather than a deeper "they must have an illness".
Everyone twitches. If I watch my mum asleep she will twitch. My dog twitches loads in his sleep but then sometimes he even starts running :biggrin:
You brought up some very good points. I would say that a big reason for why I can’t move on with the twitching is that usually I’m able to stay away from researching my symptoms when I’m not feeling well or something’s not quite right with my body. Usually I just tell myself to wait it out for a few days and I’ll feel better, and usually this is the case. The only thing comparable to what I’m dealing with now is my tinnitus, which I’ve had for 12 or 13 years. I felt incredibly helpless when it didn’t go away, but I realized that my tinnitus was probably caused by a bad ear infection I had when I was young. I do a pretty good job staying away from Google and usually don’t have too many issues with HA. When I have something like this twitching that is persistent and lasts for weeks (or months) I feel like I need to start looking into it before I visit the doctor. In this case, all I did was Google “muscle twitching” and a bunch of results containing the word “ALS” appeared.
I think that most people would naturally be concerned by that, even if they don’t usually struggle with HA. Some people might be able to get rid of their anxiety by looking at the statistics, which show that ALS is a pretty rare disease, but someone like me thinks about how even if the odds are I don’t have ALS because I am young and have no family history, someone has to be a part of the statistic and I’m sure that most people who have been diagnosed with ALS never thought that they would be a part of the statistic. I try to rationalize it by thinking about how I don’t have the usual initial textbook symptoms of ALS, but when I did search muscle twitching originally, I came across articles about people who supposedly had muscle twitching before the clinical weakness showed up.
How rare is ALS for someone my age (27)?
Absolutely no idea I'm afraid, I'm not a neurologist. However, you don't have ALS, unless of you course you had it also 5 years ago and cured yourself and its come back again.....
Hi beq45
I am in the exact same position as you at the moment
Constantly worrying about this rare disease
I once read on here that someone said there was more chance of winning the lottery and being hit by lightening than getting in your 20s or in your 40s for that matter
Some say it shouldn’t even be on our radar or with bothering about to be honest - another thing telling our anxious minds though lol !!
Hi beq45
I am in the exact same position as you at the moment
Constantly worrying about this rare disease
I once read on here that someone said there was more chance of winning the lottery and being hit by lightening than getting in your 20s or in your 40s for that matter
Some say it shouldn’t even be on our radar or with bothering about to be honest - another thing telling our anxious minds though lol !!
I have read this as well. It has calmed my anxiety somewhat to know that it usually doesn’t strike young people, but I’m over analytical about it. I think about the studies that I’ve seen that people with athletic backgrounds-especially males-tend to be at higher risk. Of course I think about how that describes me and think I’m at higher risk.
Here it is beq45. You don't have ALS. I'd bet my yearly salary on it! Your argument gets weaker with every post. Could it happen? Same chance as any of us I guess (like being struck by lightning etc.) but certainly something that shouldn't consume your life. Time to let it go or seek out real life help to do so :whistles:
Positive thoughts
It has calmed my anxiety somewhat to know that it usually doesn’t strike young people......for now it has calmed slightly, but...
what about when you are older and you cant rationalise using those statistics. What then?
......for now it has calmed slightly, but...
what about when you are older and you cant rationalise using those statistics. What then?
I don’t plan on living much past my 50s, so I am not thinking about that. I actually have never imagined my life in old age because I expect to die before I’m elderly and might jump off a bridge if I somehow live that long.
I don’t plan on living much past my 50s, so I am not thinking about that. I actually have never imagined my life in old age because I expect to die before I’m elderly
Oh cheerful stuff ! :roflmao:I'm past 50 and very much alive and enjoying it.
nomorepanic
05-03-19, 15:07
Why on earth would you jump off a bridge because you reach 50?:shrug:
...well...I suspect as life goes on and you develop responsibilities, form relationships and find purpose you will think differently about things the older you get. 50 seems so OLD doesn't it, funnily enough it comes up on you fairly quickly and then 80 seems very old.
Why on earth would you jump off a bridge because you reach 50?:shrug:
Because I suspect that my brain is deteriorating due to brain damage I have taken throughout my life. Probably CTE. I had a concussion when I was young and since then have had a basketball and baseball hit my head at high speeds, gotten kneed in the face doing Jiu Jitsu, hit my head on the corner of a dresser, and have hit my head on a wooden beam. I think I’m screwed and can’t imagine what will happen when I get older
Because I suspect that my brain is deteriorating due to brain damage I have taken throughout my life. Probably CTE. I had a concussion when I was young and since then have had a basketball and baseball hit my head at high speeds, gotten kneed in the face doing Jiu Jitsu, hit my head on the corner of a dresser, and have hit my head on a wooden beam.
That is such a warped perception of what is and isn't a threat! You've had a small handful of fairly normal head knocks, thats all. To be honest with you, those are a fairly small number.....I have hit my head on beams and doors quite a few times last year alone and I seem to still be functioning mentally. Honestly, there isn't much more I can say.
gotten kneed in the face doing Jiu Jitsu, hit my head on the corner of a dresser, and have hit my head on a wooden beam
Hardly boxing though is it :huh:
I can beat both of you - I've been hit on the back of the head by a glider. Not a model glider, a full-sized light aircraft.
Pretty sure I'm still fine, although I did have a bit of a cry at the time.
Not a model glider, a full-sized light aircraft.
Pretty sure I'm still fine, although I did have a bit of a cry at the time.
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
Happy to be beaten, that is an AWESOME admission!!! You are made of strong stuff, just a 'bit of a cry'. lol
To be fair, it was on the ground at the time, but it was still in motion and it did still hit the back of my head.
Hold on, that isn't the end of this story........I figured you were on the ground, but I think we need to know how this happened :roflmao:I don't know why I'm finding this so funny, it must have been horrid at the time and could have been very dangerous! Were you like taking a walk on the runway they were landing on ?
(BTW I have no competitive 'head hitting stories' and certainly none to match this, I was making the point that there was nothing too out of the ordinary about beq and his knocks)
I was at university, on a gliding club trip - you spend the day at the gliding club and help out with the gliders in return for getting slightly cheaper flights. I was hanging around and helping out where I could, and for whatever reason I was walking in front of the glider wing as a few of the guys were turning it.
Somebody's hand slipped, the glider sped up and connected with the back of my skull; I was dizzy for a couple of days and landed up going to A&E just to be on the safe side, but after a few checks they didn't seem overly bothered.
MyNameIsTerry
05-03-19, 17:05
Hold on, that isn't the end of this story........I figured you were on the ground, but I think we need to know how this happened :roflmao:I don't know why I'm finding this so funny, it must have been horrid at the time and could have been very dangerous! Were you like taking a walk on the runway they were landing on ?
(BTW I have no competitive 'head hitting stories' and certainly none to match this, I was making the point that there was nothing too out of the ordinary about beq and his knocks)
I'm glad you asked that, after reading it I felt like Roy on the IT Crowd with the fire at Sea Parks :roflmao:
https://2static1.fjcdn.com/comments/You+need+to+login+to+view+this+link+_5daa4d4a083be 74443a985f012006c1e.jpg
I'm glad you asked that, after reading it I felt like Roy on the IT Crowd with the fire at Sea Parks
Nope , sorry, thats gone over my head......
....unlike Blueiris's glider !
I think there must have been a few Health and SAfety regs broken that day Blue.
MyNameIsTerry
05-03-19, 17:20
Nope , sorry, thats gone over my head..........unlike Blueiris's glider !I think there must have been a few Health and SAfety regs broken that day Blue.You've not seen the IT Crowd then? Roy's new GF tells him she is an orphan. When she opens up about it it's only on condition they never discuss again which he agrees to. She drops the bombshell they died in a fire at a Sea Parks. He just can't get it out of his head as it's such a strange way to go, a place full of water with nothing that can burn, and gets obsessed with it to the point of building a model to re enact it.
Having a bad today...My shoulder and arm are sore and this is making my anxiety worse. I haven’t been lifting weights lately, so this is not good. The only thing I can think of is maybe I strained my muscles doing Jiu Jitsu. I wake up every day wondering if I’m going to trip from my foot dropping or won’t be able to lift my hand.
I’m wondering if my arm is going to stop working first and I will get weaker throughout my body soon.
I feel like giving up :sad:
The only thing I can think of is maybe I strained my muscles doing Jiu Jitsu.
Errr yeahhhhhh, like......why is this not you saying I DID strain it in Jiu Jitsu. CAuse and effect.
I wake up every day wondering if I’m going to trip from my foot dropping or won’t be able to lift my hand.
I've seen this happen to someone, actually a number of people as I'm a member of the MND association. None of them have had the twitching you describe. You had THIS SAME THING 5 years ago, it wasn't MND then , and it isn't now.
Errr yeahhhhhh, like......why is this not you saying I DID strain it in Jiu Jitsu. CAuse and effect.
I've seen this happen to someone, actually a number of people as I'm a member of the MND association. None of them have had the twitching you describe. You had THIS SAME THING 5 years ago, it wasn't MND then , and it isn't now.
I’m just confused about why it hasn’t gone away yet, when it went away sooner the last time I had it. The random soreness in my arm is concerning too. But doesn’t ALS/MND not cause pain or numbness?
....because you are anxious for longer?
....because you are anxious for longer?
I’m just not sure it’s the same thing. Why would it seemingly vanish for years, then come back? I’ve never heard of such a thing
I’m just not sure it’s the same thing. Why would it seemingly vanish for years, then come back? I’ve never heard of such a thing
That rules out ALS. It doesn't come and go ;)
Have a great life!
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
07-03-19, 02:23
I’m just not sure it’s the same thing. Why would it seemingly vanish for years, then come back? I’ve never heard of such a thing
Some people havce a theme for a year, then it goes and then they havew it back years later. It's part of the reason why mental health disorders are so hard to diagnose and why they can be misdiagnosed betweem each other.
But there is a basic clue in the fact something disappears for years, never bothers you and then comes back many years later. It wasn't anything progressive therefore it's a new occurance of something (so that's you developing ALS twice in one lifetime or maybe it really is that this time...of course I'm not saying it is but an anxious mind will try that excuse on) or something else was the focus of symptoms or maybe anxiety went away as it does in some people.
As for the arm, isn't it a bit like saying you punched yourself in the arm and now you are wondering why it's got a bruise? You did physical activity that might mean micro tears and muscle rebuilding or sprain/strain issues. Martial arts being physical, it's a very obvious root cause.
Errr yeahhhhhh, like......why is this not you saying I DID strain it in Jiu Jitsu. CAuse and effect.
This is sooo important to realize. Currently your thought pattern is (and mine used to be):
1) Feel bodily symptom.
2). Do I know what this is? If no...
3). Go to the worst-case scenario or fear (this is called catastrophizing)
4). Feed the fear by ruminating on it and possibly Googling to find evidence to support the fear.
5). Spiral into the pit of anxiety.
Instead you need to approach it differently. Rather than go immediately to catastrophe, train the brain to come up with a reasonable, non-diabolical conclusion:
1). Feel bodily symptom
2). Do I know what this is? If no...
3). Explain it to yourself with a reasonable explanation: (I must be sore from jiujitsu, or whatever)
4). Go about your day so that you don't feed your mind's attempt to ruminate.
It's not easy. Not even remotely. But that's the goal to try to work towards.
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Some people havce a theme for a year, then it goes and then they havew it back years later. It's part of the reason why mental health disorders are so hard to diagnose and why they can be misdiagnosed betweem each other.
But there is a basic clue in the fact something disappears for years, never bothers you and then comes back many years later. It wasn't anything progressive therefore it's a new occurance of something (so that's you developing ALS twice in one lifetime or maybe it really is that this time...of course I'm not saying it is but an anxious mind will try that excuse on) or something else was the focus of symptoms or maybe anxiety went away as it does in some people.
As for the arm, isn't it a bit like saying you punched yourself in the arm and now you are wondering why it's got a bruise? You did physical activity that might mean micro tears and muscle rebuilding or sprain/strain issues. Martial arts being physical, it's a very obvious root cause.
Yeah, I think I’m just trying to latch onto anything I feel is off physically as a “symptom.” I guess I’m not sure how I can make myself get over this fear. I don’t plan on going to the doctor unless things get worse for me and I’ve actually seen recommendations from a docto that if you have HA, getting the EMG done probably won’t help because it might provide brief relief, but you’ll wonder if it was done too soon because you read the article about the ALS patient who had an EMG done and developed ALS not long after.
MyNameIsTerry
07-03-19, 03:29
Whilst not being a HAer myself I can understand that as my GAD would make me body scan and worry about doing anything. Even eating meant changes in sensation and the potential for increased anxiety was the issue. I never gave a thought to other physical problems, it's was the fear of more fear for me.
Yep, tests won't help you because HA doesn't just go away. Reassurance-seeking will only reinforce the cycle because it's compulsion. And the test may rule out that illness but the anxiety will either look to disprove the test ("maybe the tech was having a bad day", "what is the equipment failed", etc as we see on this forum plenty of times) or it will just seek another illness to start the cycle up again.
Treating the anxiety is what is needed and there is no reason not to see a doctor about that as it's the real issue. But you can get past this and get better, many of us will understand feeling trapped or even cursed into remaining this way the rest of our lives. Been there, done that. Once you get out the other side of it you look back and realise it was flawed thinking.
Self help, therapy, meds for some, relaxation work, healthy living, changing your thinking away from negatives, etc. A holistic approach is the best in my opinion but you do have to try things to see what works for you and what doesn't.
Good advice jrary, and great post.....I hope its read properly !
Whilst not being a HAer myself I can understand that as my GAD would make me body scan and worry about doing anything. Even eating meant changes in sensation and the potential for increased anxiety was the issue. I never gave a thought to other physical problems, it's was the fear of more fear for me.
Yep, tests won't help you because HA doesn't just go away. Reassurance-seeking will only reinforce the cycle because it's compulsion. And the test may rule out that illness but the anxiety will either look to disprove the test ("maybe the tech was having a bad day", "what is the equipment failed", etc as we see on this forum plenty of times) or it will just seek another illness to start the cycle up again.
Treating the anxiety is what is needed and there is no reason not to see a doctor about that as it's the real issue. But you can get past this and get better, many of us will understand feeling trapped or even cursed into remaining this way the rest of our lives. Been there, done that. Once you get out the other side of it you look back and realise it was flawed thinking.
Self help, therapy, meds for some, relaxation work, healthy living, changing your thinking away from negatives, etc. A holistic approach is the best in my opinion but you do have to try things to see what works for you and what doesn't.
I’m not sure that my anxiety can ever be treated. I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately and have gotten to the point where I just don’t see a point in living anymore. I’m 27, but feel like my mind and body are that of a much older person. I think I probably have CTE because of how I’ve hit my head throughout my life. On top of that, I’m not convinced I don’t have ALS and would definitely end it all before I was ever diagnosed with ALS by a doctor. I think if I start to experience weakness, that will be my signal to take my life.
I’m not sure that my anxiety can ever be treated. I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately and have gotten to the point where I just don’t see a point in living anymore. I’m 27, but feel like my mind and body are that of a much older person. I think I probably have CTE because of how I’ve hit my head throughout my life. On top of that, I’m not convinced I don’t have ALS and would definitely end it all before I was ever diagnosed with ALS by a doctor. I think if I start to experience weakness, that will be my signal to take my life.
I think if you are having these types of thoughts you need to contact your PCP as a matter of urgency.
I’m not sure that my anxiety can ever be treated. I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately and have gotten to the point where I just don’t see a point in living anymore. I’m 27, but feel like my mind and body are that of a much older person. I think I probably have CTE because of how I’ve hit my head throughout my life. On top of that, I’m not convinced I don’t have ALS and would definitely end it all before I was ever diagnosed with ALS by a doctor. I think if I start to experience weakness, that will be my signal to take my life.
Your post is concerning as any post is that mentions self harm and more. Have you spoken to your doctor about these feelings and thoughts? Every State has resources to help. Please CHECK THIS OUT (https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help), make a call and seek some real life help.
Positive thoughts
Your post is concerning as any post is that mentions self harm and more. Have you spoken to your doctor about these feelings and thoughts? Every State has resources to help. Please CHECK THIS OUT (https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help), make a call and seek some real life help.
Positive thoughts
I have not spoken with my doctor yet about these issues because I’ve already taken a day off from work to see my doctor once this year for a sinus infection, and don’t want to take any more time off. I have good medical insurance, but if I start getting referrals to a neurologist, psychologist, etc. them I’ll start racking up some bills if I’m not careful. At this point, I’m pretty much waiting for clinical weakness to set in at this point and that will confirm my suspicions. No need to visit a doctor
MyNameIsTerry
09-03-19, 02:04
I think if I start to experience weakness, that will be my signal to take my life.
But do you understand that weakness can be a sign of many things, not just ALS. And since you lift weights haven't you ever noticed how DOMS can make you feel like that?
Can you see the danger in perceiving symptoms without a diagnosis?
Do you really mean what you say or is this pain talking? What would stop you taking action e.g. loved ones?
I have not spoken with my doctor yet about these issues because I’ve already taken a day off from work to see my doctor once this year for a sinus infection, and don’t want to take any more time off. I have good medical insurance, but if I start getting referrals to a neurologist, psychologist, etc. them I’ll start racking up some bills if I’m not careful. At this point, I’m pretty much waiting for clinical weakness to set in at this point and that will confirm my suspicions. No need to visit a doctor
And therein is the bottom line and answer to your worries. I've been ill. There have been several occasions in my life it was critically ill. There was no mistaking something was wrong and money, insurance or not, I sought help. If indeed you truly thought you had some serious illness and really felt that bad, you'd pursue it. You don't have to take an entire day off from work anyway... a couple of hours at the most so...
What your post showed me is deep down you know what the real illness is. Knowing that, look at the link I provided. Every state, city, town etc. has resources. Maybe try to find a group in your area. Since you have insurance, look into therapy. Take some real life steps to help yourself.
Positive thoughts
But do you understand that weakness can be a sign of many things, not just ALS. And since you lift weights haven't you ever noticed how DOMS can make you feel like that?
Can you see the danger in perceiving symptoms without a diagnosis?
Do you really mean what you say or is this pain talking? What would stop you taking action e.g. loved ones?
I actually haven’t been lifting weights in a while, but I’ve been doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu very consistently. One of the reasons why I have this fear of ALS is that besides the twitching, my hands (mainly my right hand) have been bothering me the last 3+ months. Some days my wrists ache pretty bad and I’ll wake up with numb hands. 2 months ago, I was waking up every day for a couple weeks with stiff and numb hands for a few minutes. I sleep on my hands a lot out of habit and use my hands practically every second of the day, from typing on my computer at work to using grips in Jiu Jitsu. I want to think it’s just some repetitive strain or something. Yesterday my hand was achy and felt off, but after I went out to socialize a bit, it felt normal. One thing I noticed doing Jiu Jitsu is that even on days my right hand feels like it might be weak, I still have a really strong grip and give my opponents a really hard time with my strong grips.
I’m just worried that my right hand feeling off the last few months is a slow onset of weakness and that I’ll start dropping stuff soon. I feel like ALS weakness would have made itself known by now after my hands acting up for a few months, but I’m not sure...I keep doing strength tests where I lift things between my index finger and thumbs and the other day, I held at least 6 grocery bags with my right hand, which is the one that feels off sometimes.
MyNameIsTerry
09-03-19, 02:42
I actually haven’t been lifting weights in a while, but I’ve been doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu very consistently. One of the reasons why I have this fear of ALS is that besides the twitching, my hands (mainly my right hand) have been bothering me the last 3+ months. Some days my wrists ache pretty bad and I’ll wake up with numb hands. 2 months ago, I was waking up every day for a couple weeks with stiff and numb hands for a few minutes. I sleep on my hands a lot out of habit and use my hands practically every second of the day, from typing on my computer at work to using grips in Jiu Jitsu. I want to think it’s just some repetitive strain or something. Yesterday my hand was achy and felt off, but after I went out to socialize a bit, it felt normal. One thing I noticed doing Jiu Jitsu is that even on days my right hand feels like it might be weak, I still have a really strong grip and give my opponents a really hard time with my strong grips.
I’m just worried that my right hand feeling off the last few months is a slow onset of weakness and that I’ll start dropping stuff soon. I feel like ALS weakness would have made itself known by now after my hands acting up for a few months, but I’m not sure...
Don't you think that experience is normal for someone doing contact sports like BJJ? Think about your experience with weight training. The DOMS are always worse at first or when you switch things up because you know the body has to adjust to chain in workload.
Mental health issues also take a lot of toll on the body. I had never had muscular tension or some much fatigue as a few years ago. I used to walk some miles daily so was used to it but found myself just wanting to lie down in the rain on pavement and go to sleep.
What I am saying is you need to very carefully consider what you said earlier because it is an extreme reaction to symptoms to want to harm yourself. Do you truly believe this or is it the pain of just wanting this to all go away that is doing the talking? The latter is something many, if not all, of us go through at some point.
What if you are wrong? A permanent solution to a temporary problem is a quote we see a lot about self harm.
When I went through therapy we had to fill in a safeguarding form asking us about potential for self harm. It would ask if we had thoughts of life not being worth living. We had to rate ourselves 1-10 on whether we would harm ourselves and state what would stop us taking action as well as if we had researched methods. These are common forms used in mental health to assess people for self harm and to keep an eye on them. My therapist said it was quite normal to feel the way I did but the important part was that I always stated I wouldn't take action and that my family were a reason to block self harm from taking place.
Honestly, since my anxiety got so bad in the relapse I've found anything physical is much harder. I might be older than you but within a few years I felt like a wreck. I shouldn't be like that at 39 (as I was then) and a skewed perception of ALS in your case has you seeing things wrong. Imagine if my feelings towards my physical state were like yours? After several years of feeling rough as hell daily would I still be here? The reality is, I'm still here and nothing is really wrong with me. Certainly nothing major like you are worrying about. Wouldn't you have told me how mental health can affect me physically and why I shouldn't misjudge things to the point of harming myself and making a major mistake?
Don't you think that experience is normal for someone doing contact sports like BJJ? Think about your experience with weight training. The DOMS are always worse at first or when you switch things up because you know the body has to adjust to chain in workload.
Mental health issues also take a lot of toll on the body. I had never had muscular tension or some much fatigue as a few years ago. I used to walk some miles daily so was used to it but found myself just wanting to lie down in the rain on pavement and go to sleep.
What I am saying is you need to very carefully consider what you said earlier because it is an extreme reaction to symptoms to want to harm yourself. Do you truly believe this or is it the pain of just wanting this to all go away that is doing the talking? The latter is something many, if not all, of us go through at some point.
What if you are wrong? A permanent solution to a temporary problem is a quote we see a lot about self harm.
When I went through therapy we had to fill in a safeguarding form asking us about potential for self harm. It would ask if we had thoughts of life not being worth living. We had to rate ourselves 1-10 on whether we would harm ourselves and state what would stop us taking action as well as if we had researched methods. These are common forms used in mental health to assess people for self harm and to keep an eye on them. My therapist said it was quite normal to feel the way I did but the important part was that I always stated I wouldn't take action and that my family were a reason to block self harm from taking place.
Honestly, since my anxiety got so bad in the relapse I've found anything physical is much harder. I might be older than you but within a few years I felt like a wreck. I shouldn't be like that at 39 (as I was then) and a skewed perception of ALS in your case has you seeing things wrong. Imagine if my feelings towards my physical state were like yours? After several years of feeling rough as hell daily would I still be here? The reality is, I'm still here and nothing is really wrong with me. Certainly nothing major like you are worrying about. Wouldn't you have told me how mental health can affect me physically and why I shouldn't misjudge things to the point of harming myself and making a major mistake?
I guess I’m not sure if I would actually take my own life or not. I guess the biggest issue is that even if I get over this current ALS anxiety spell, when I’m older and am statistically more likely to get a disease like ALS, how will I feel then? I’m not sure if I can deal with this my whole life. If it weren’t for my parents being around, I think I might have taken my life long ago for another reason.
I don’t plan on going on a doctor just over my ALS fears because I don’t believe any doctor can convince me that I don’t have ALS.
MyNameIsTerry
09-03-19, 04:47
I guess I’m not sure if I would actually take my own life or not. I guess the biggest issue is that even if I get over this current ALS anxiety spell, when I’m older and am statistically more likely to get a disease like ALS, how will I feel then? I’m not sure if I can deal with this my whole life. If it weren’t for my parents being around, I think I might have taken my life long ago for another reason.
I don’t plan on going on a doctor just over my ALS fears because I don’t believe any doctor can convince me that I don’t have ALS.
As you get older it's something that you will come to accept because it's just life. People in their mid lives can't understand the mind set of the elderly who have come to terms with their mortality. People who are young can't understand how you learn to accept you enter more at risk groups in middle age but they do because it's just part of life as much as moving on with marriage, family, etc all is.
Be wary of judging life based on being in pain now because once you come through the other side of the pain and look back you know it was flawed negative thinking. You've got healthy positive behaviours in your life like exercise and so look towards things that nourish you and give you something you feel positive about. It does hep although it can be hard to feel it when in the mire.
Your feelings are something that would be worthwhile discussing in therapy. They can help you with the anxiety but also to understand how to change that thinking.
As you get older it's something that you will come to accept because it's just life. People in their mid lives can't understand the mind set of the elderly who have come to terms with their mortality. People who are young can't understand how you learn to accept you enter more at risk groups in middle age but they do because it's just part of life as much as moving on with marriage, family, etc all is.
Be wary of judging life based on being in pain now because once you come through the other side of the pain and look back you know it was flawed negative thinking. You've got healthy positive behaviours in your life like exercise and so look towards things that nourish you and give you something you feel positive about. It does hep although it can be hard to feel it when in the mire.
Your feelings are something that would be worthwhile discussing in therapy. They can help you with the anxiety but also to understand how to change that thinking.
I’m at the point now where I’m just looking at my calendar and waiting for time to fly by so I can feel better. What I mean by that is I think there has only been once incidence in medical literature where someone went 6 months or longer with twitching and no other symptoms, then went on to develop the classic symptoms of ALS. The source for this information was a legitimate medical website overseen by the government. I’m getting close to the 3 month mark with the twitching. Sometimes the twitching seems to go away for hours and I just want it to go away. Some doctors don’t seem to accept twitching as a symptom, anyway. I’m just hoping that my hand that has been feeling off for the last 3 months doesn’t just stop working suddenly.
MyNameIsTerry
09-03-19, 17:38
I’m at the point now where I’m just looking at my calendar and waiting for time to fly by so I can feel better. What I mean by that is I think there has only been once incidence in medical literature where someone went 6 months or longer with twitching and no other symptoms, then went on to develop the classic symptoms of ALS. I’m getting close to the 3 month mark with the twitching. Sometimes the twitching seems to go away for hours and I just want it to go away. Some doctors don’t seem to accept twitching as a symptom, anyway. I’m just hoping that my hand that has been feeling off for the last 3 months doesn’t just stop working suddenly.
You are not alone in doing this on here but I would encourage you to look towards correcting your anxiety because there are many themes where you can't use a calendar e.g. asbestos exposure where it could 40 years later.
I can appreciate that feeling of just wanting it to go away. I'm not a HAer but at my worst times I've wished many a cancer or swerving lorry to stop it all. It's just pain and just as people with chronic physical problems have their low times so do we.
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