View Full Version : Why no cure!?!
Seriously. I'd give anything for a cure to stop panic attacks. The worst....
I keep saying I wish my wife could experience just 1 attack to get an appreciation of what i go through when I have an attack.
Worst of all I'm getting them in the middle of the night now and feel even more helpless and alone.
Come on doctors of the world. Find a cure!!
The cure is there, its inside yourself, not with a doctor. By reading, understanding, following cbt-type techniques and retraining your thoughts about panic attacks you can banish them. What did if for me, and I'm boring as I've said this so many times, is the old Claire Weekes books. Panic attacks don't kill, they are a temporary high adrenaline state with all its associated physicological changes. Talking yourself through them with phrases such as 'So, a panic attack, it'll pass soon...I'll get on with something else till it does', 'I'll accept this and not be scared of it, as it can do nothing to me', 'ah here we are, as expected a panic attack, well nobody dies from them so neither will I',will make it disappear so much quicker. Its when you remain afraid of them and adrenaline keeps on increasing that the problem arises. Lose the fear. Make a list on paper, stick it to the fridge of phrases like this, if panic appears then read them out loud, repeat and repeat.
It takes practice, effort and repetition to reassure yourself and start being able to curtail them. Many people look to others for 'cures' and want it magiced away, but the good news is that you have ownership of this, you have the power and ability within yourself.You aren't a victim of something that is outside your control. Is it easy to 'cure'? For some it is quick and successful with no blips, for some it takes effort for a long period of time, it takes courage and stead-fast sticking to the retraining approach. Just like giving up smoking, or similar, some drop back into allowing panic to take hold. I had my first panic attack at 12 years old and years of them controlling me;I am now 50 and I'd be lying if I didn't say they appeared now and again. However, armed with years of experience and skills in dealing with them, including not avoiding situations where they have occurred, I can squish them quickly (not fight them! but allow them to be till they pass). Instead of being scared of them, now they just p[&%$ me off :blush:Look up some books from the stickies or articles on this thread?
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/books
(https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/books)
ankietyjoe
03-03-19, 12:51
Carys is 100% correct.
You cannot expect an external cure for a problem that we help curate and feed in our minds. You need to look at your lifestyle, your habitual reaction to anxiety, your diet, your exercise routines etc etc. All these things contribute to stressing your mind and body into an anxious state.
"You aren't a victim of something that is outside your control."
This phrase in particular is the one key thing to remember. Anxiety is self perpetuating.
Thanks for that reply, I think I needed to hear that. I've just had such a jump in attacks over the last few weeks and that horrible feeling of dread is just hanging about me constantly.
ankietyjoe
03-03-19, 16:37
The thing to remember here is that anxiety can easily become self sustaining.
Try and figure out what caused the anxiety jump. More stress at work, less sleep, have you been ill, are you exercising more? Any of those things (and a million other things) can stress your CNS and cause more anxiety.
The best thing to do is spend more time relaxing, meditating, going for walks, deep breathing etc. Whatever works best for you to calm down the CNS, and just keep doing that over and over again. Tell yourself that it's 'just' anxiety, and that it will pass.
They're very common at night. I used to get them a lot and eventually learned to just get up, have a pee (you know you will....), accept the pounding heart rate and calmly get back into bed and let it pass. It's the reaction that's the key to recovery.
Sometime it's hard to zone out when the panic kicks in. I was ok for a few attacks at the start of the year but the regularity is really getting to me.
ankietyjoe
03-03-19, 23:31
Oh it's hard for sure, but that's why you need to practice :winks:
Sandra1980
04-03-19, 02:38
Take some time out by yourself and figure out when your anxiety started to get worse when you figure out what started it off you can decide what to do about it and that should help you get back some control over it.
It started to get worse going from 10mg to 5mg of Escitilopram. Maybe I wasn't ready to come off them?
I've cut out caffeine and alcohol completely and trying to get put and about more. Job stress has increased with a promotion but I don't mind that, I worry more about the next panic attack than anything else.
ankietyjoe
04-03-19, 12:26
It started to get worse going from 10mg to 5mg of Escitilopram. Maybe I wasn't ready to come off them?
I've cut out caffeine and alcohol completely and trying to get put and about more. Job stress has increased with a promotion but I don't mind that, I worry more about the next panic attack than anything else.
Well there's your answer.
The key now is to accept the panic attacks. The more you worry about them, the more they'll happen.
It's probably worth noting that even though you don't mind the work stress, your CNS might.
WiredIncorrectly
05-03-19, 10:52
My partner has had panic attacks, but only when she's at a hysterical point so very rarely. And her attacks are usually brief and relating to a tough situation. Whereas I have anxiety and panic attacks almost daily and have done all of my life. So when I try to explain my anxiety she compares it with hers and thinks nothing of it and doesn't take it seriously.
That used to bug me. But that was partly the reason why my anxiety was spiraling because I wasn't taking her advice. I told myself "your panic isn't as bad as mine so your advice isn't relevant". I also ignored the advice from people without anxiety - which is crazy because think about these people don't have anxiety because they can control their mind so I should have been listening.
But with that said panic attacks are still a rough ride and although I would consider myself as doing much better I still have panic attacks. The difference is you sort of learn how to deal with them. You become good at spotting the root causes and avoiding them.
For me over stimulation of my senses is a huge cause of the worst panic attacks. I have aspergers so maybe it's related to that because I do have sensitivity to light and sound. I've learned to avoid situations where there is too much going on. It happened to me this weekend.
I was home alone enjoying the peace and quite while my partner and son were out at an adventure park with friends. They got back late and I was in a relaxed state. But suddenly the house was in a state of excitement, happiness, and sillyness. All things I can deal with for short periods but when it's abrupt like it was it sent my mind into a panic. My partner got a little annoyed with me because I asked if she could lower the energy a little.
It is quite a pain in the backside living with me, but my partner is mostly super understanding about it all, even if I often feel like she isn't. She has patience, and has stuck around for 10 years so I must be doing something right :)
Anyway buddy, sorry for the long talk. My advice is to learn how to deal with it. I've been rough at times and I'm sure many members have been fed up of my constant anxiety questions at times. Thankfully I'm not that bad anymore. I'm happy to give you any advice and share how I deal with things though.
What do you struggle with the most? What mostly causes you anxiety?
My partner has had panic attacks, but only when she's at a hysterical point so very rarely. And her attacks are usually brief and relating to a tough situation. Whereas I have anxiety and panic attacks almost daily and have done all of my life. So when I try to explain my anxiety she compares it with hers and thinks nothing of it and doesn't take it seriously.
That used to bug me. But that was partly the reason why my anxiety was spiraling because I wasn't taking her advice. I told myself "your panic isn't as bad as mine so your advice isn't relevant". I also ignored the advice from people without anxiety - which is crazy because think about these people don't have anxiety because they can control their mind so I should have been listening.
But with that said panic attacks are still a rough ride and although I would consider myself as doing much better I still have panic attacks. The difference is you sort of learn how to deal with them. You become good at spotting the root causes and avoiding them.
For me over stimulation of my senses is a huge cause of the worst panic attacks. I have aspergers so maybe it's related to that because I do have sensitivity to light and sound. I've learned to avoid situations where there is too much going on. It happened to me this weekend.
I was home alone enjoying the peace and quite while my partner and son were out at an adventure park with friends. They got back late and I was in a relaxed state. But suddenly the house was in a state of excitement, happiness, and sillyness. All things I can deal with for short periods but when it's abrupt like it was it sent my mind into a panic. My partner got a little annoyed with me because I asked if she could lower the energy a little.
It is quite a pain in the backside living with me, but my partner is mostly super understanding about it all, even if I often feel like she isn't. She has patience, and has stuck around for 10 years so I must be doing something right :)
Anyway buddy, sorry for the long talk. My advice is to learn how to deal with it. I've been rough at times and I'm sure many members have been fed up of my constant anxiety questions at times. Thankfully I'm not that bad anymore. I'm happy to give you any advice and share how I deal with things though.
What do you struggle with the most? What mostly causes you anxiety?
I wish my wife understood better which is saddening to me as I know she thinks I should be able to cope by now.
Not sure what my actual fear is other than my heart racing too fast, that in itself makes me fell very uncomfortable as I think it will never slow and I'll have a heart attack.
ankietyjoe
06-03-19, 23:22
Not sure what my actual fear is other than my heart racing too fast, that in itself makes me fell very uncomfortable as I think it will never slow and I'll have a heart attack.
How many times has that happened so far?
How many times has that happened so far?
I know what you are saying but my mind is very weak right now and I'm struggling to manage the bad thoughts. In the early hours of Sunday morn I had 3 back to back all brought on by my stupid thoughts and it's still not shaken off my feeling of dread completely.
Stand there and say it out loud, to help manage the panic. Feel your heart race and say OUT LOUD, and repeat as often as necessary sentences that are designed to self-reassure, 'my heart is racing due to adrenaline, it will slow down over time, it won't kill me and I've felt this before'. During my past worst panic attacks I have had my heart at 160 bpm and sat on the stairs/been pacing around repeating over and over with my eyes closed sentences that self-reassured. Have the sentences/phrases ready - 'its just a panic attack, very soon it will slow down, this is the speed of someone doing exercise only and it won't harm me'. AS it starts to come back down you can then repeat sentences to reenforce like 'There we go, just as I expected....starting to sort out'. This takes sustained practice, real belief in the words you are saying.
Or you could try - Sit somewhere comfortable, on your own, close your eyes....put your hand on your stomach and feel your breathing as your stomach rises and falls. COncentrate on that, make it slow and steady, feel the rise and fall. Really concentrate, this takes practice, to remove your thoughts from your heart and back onto a kind of mindfulness of the here and now. AS yoy relax, no matter how long this takes, your heart rate WILL reduce.
Couldn't have said it better Carys
ankietyjoe
07-03-19, 09:47
I know what you are saying but my mind is very weak right now and I'm struggling to manage the bad thoughts. In the early hours of Sunday morn I had 3 back to back all brought on by my stupid thoughts and it's still not shaken off my feeling of dread completely.
It's perfectly normal to feel that your mind is weak, panic is an ordeal.
So.........
Stand there and say it out loud, to help manage the panic. Feel your heart race and say OUT LOUD, and repeat as often as necessary sentences that are designed to self-reassure, 'my heart is racing due to adrenaline, it will slow down over time, it won't kill me and I've felt this before'. During my past worst panic attacks I have had my heart at 160 bpm and sat on the stairs/been pacing around repeating over and over with my eyes closed sentences that self-reassured. Have the sentences/phrases ready - 'its just a panic attack, very soon it will slow down, this is the speed of someone doing exercise only and it won't harm me'. AS it starts to come back down you can then repeat sentences to reenforce like 'There we go, just as I expected....starting to sort out'. This takes sustained practice, real belief in the words you are saying.
Or you could try - Sit somewhere comfortable, on your own, close your eyes....put your hand on your stomach and feel your breathing as your stomach rises and falls. COncentrate on that, make it slow and steady, feel the rise and fall. Really concentrate, this takes practice, to remove your thoughts from your heart and back onto a kind of mindfulness of the here and now. AS yoy relax, no matter how long this takes, your heart rate WILL reduce.
This is gold. And it works.
When I first heard about the idea of mantra's, I thought they were ridiculous. I thought the idea of saying things to myself was preposterous, but there's a reason why it works.
The part of your brain that creates the anxiety, adrenaline and panic is basically like a young child. It's like a 2 year old meeting a big barking dog in the park. It takes a grown up (the other, rational part of your brain) to take the child by the hand reassure it that the dog is only doing what a dog does, and wont bite. And you have to do the same thing with anxiety. You have to engage the rational part of your brain and keep repeating the message that you have experienced this before and it will pass. It requires repeated practice for weeks, months...whatever it takes.
For example, right now I'm having a bit of a relapse. First one in about 2 years. I know why it is, we have almost fictional amounts of stress right now due to an imminent move and a complicated legal/financial issue that needs to be resolved for that to happen. On top of that I became ill at the same time, my car broke down, both my kids were ill and I had two big work deadlines to meet. So normal, but complicate life stuff. I could feel it coming, but I was prepared. As expected, about a week ago....BOOM.....massive panic attack, and nightly ones now too. 4am on the dot, startling awake. Last night was the worst, I couldn't breathe, heart rate was 157bpm. So I got up, had a piss, had some water....and mantra'd the crap out of myself. It's not pleasant, and the sensation of anxiety never gets any easier, but I got up this morning, made packed lunch for my kids, took them to school, went to Tesco's and now I'm just sitting here drinking coffee (no, really!) and getting on with my day. 2 years ago, that kind of panic attack would have completely removed the following day for me. I would have been 'out of it'. The point in this little anecdote is that every single person who suffers with anxiety has it within themselves to control the reaction to it. If you experience enough stress, you probably won't be able to stop them happening sometimes, but you absolutely can stop one panic attack turning into anything more than a 10-20 minute experience.
Yes yes yes ! (gosh that sounded a bit rude lol)
I love reading Ankiety Joe's replies, because they are where I am, and they remind me what I do WORKS if you fully commit to it. Yes, same here, I can still have panic attacks (sometimes epic), but thats it, a one off - I 'mantra the crap out of myself' (I LOVE that phrase LOL !!!) also and then get on with it and move on. I have accepted that I won't ever get rid of them, they are part of me and my reaction to stress, but I CAN and WILL not let them take over. Thanks AnkietyJoe, yet again, for writing words that help, really help...I honestly think lots more people should read the posts you make, they really touch the root of it.
The part of your brain that creates the anxiety, adrenaline and panic is basically like a young child. It's like a 2 year old meeting a big barking dog in the park. It takes a grown up (the other, rational part of your brain) to take the child by the hand reassure it that the dog is only doing what a dog does, and wont bite. And you have to do the same thing with anxiety. You have to engage the rational part of your brain and keep repeating the message that you have experienced this before and it will pass. It requires repeated practice for weeks, months...whatever it takes.
ankietyjoe
07-03-19, 10:13
Yes yes yes ! (gosh that sounded a bit rude lol)
I'm saying nothing......
I love reading Ankiety Joe's replies, because they are where I am, and they remind me what I do WORKS if you fully commit to it. Yes, same here, I can still have panic attacks (sometimes epic), but thats it, a one off - I 'mantra the crap out of myself' (I LOVE that phrase LOL !!!) also and then get on with it and move on. I have accepted that I won't ever get rid of them, they are part of me and my reaction to stress, but I CAN and WILL not let them take over. Thanks AnkietyJoe, yet again, for writing words that help, really help...I honestly think lots more people should read the posts you make, they really touch the root of it.
I dunno, I think you can get rid of them. It just takes an understanding of the connection between stress and anxiety. When I first had panic attacks I thought they came out of the blue, but in hindsight they didn't. I had a stressful job (but then again don't we all), but on top of that I only slept 4-5 hours a night and had a bad diet. And I smoked, and I drank 10 cups of coffee every day....AND I was in a bad relationship with somebody that enjoyed a bit of self destruction. Well duh....inevitable.
Building a life that's stress free should also be a goal, and in some respects that's harder than dealing with anxiety in the first place. But if you understand what your mind/body needs to be stress free, it's a long term goal that can be achieved. I think if you live your life that way you can become somewhat bullet proof to the odd bit of stress here and there, you'll never be able to eradicate stress completely, it's unrealistic to think that way.
Yup, I think some people can eradicate, but I've gotten rid of them for years, only to have an odd one come back here and there and just go with it now. (Since being meno they have been more frequent.) It helps me just to accept they might appear, as if I accept I won't be scared if and when it happens....and at times when I am really stressed and anxious one will pop back. Nothing like they used to be of course, as I can squish them. I have found I can't build a stress free existence, as I can't avoid all my stressers, and certainly can't avoid hormone changes....but in an ideal world, yep, itd be great to be able to eradicate everything that causes the problems. Everyone is entirely different of course, and some people use the techniques and thats it, sorted....
Maybe I'm not making much sense now, but in essence I agree with you, its possible, but I don't think its possible for me lol
ankietyjoe
07-03-19, 10:49
Ah yes hormonal changes can be harder to cope with, and not always in your control.
In terms of removing stress, you're right...you can't remove everything. What I found was that I was doing things that WERE stressors, that I didn't even realise were stressing me. Even down to eating late at night or over-exercising (this is a big trigger for me). It's about finding your own balance.
Ah yes hormonal changes can be harder to cope with, and not always in your control.
Sadly not in my control at all......(I also had post natal psychosis after giving birth and was told I would need HRT, but now due to a medical condition can't have it) . I had 20 years without panic attacks, only to resurface now. Yes, finding your own balance, a very good point and I do agree with you.
ankietyjoe
07-03-19, 11:04
Sadly not in my control at all......(I also had post natal psychosis after giving birth and was told I would need HRT, but now due to a medical condition can't have it) . I had 20 years without panic attacks, only to resurface now. Yes, finding your own balance, a very good point and I do agree with you.
Sorry to hear that. My partner has significant (life changing) problems after the birth of our second. It can be brutal.
Have you ever looked into fasting as a method of hormone balance? It's a bit thread de-raily...but it's quite a powerful tool in helping your body re-balance.
Hiyer, sorry off thread Colin......It was a long time ago, over two decades, the post natal issues. However, I am now suffering similarly with the last few perimenopause years, having been fine in the intervening two decades. I've looked into most things, but not heard of fasting as a method to be honest, not sure what difference it would make to ovarian faliure though lol I will look it up however. Back to COlin, thanks for your thoughts ankiety.
DustingMyselfOff
07-03-19, 22:46
I have accepted that this is one of those diseases that has no cure, but fortunately for us (or so I keep trying to remind myself) at least there are meds available to us to reduce the symptoms. Too bad I fight taking them and am continually trying to get off of them, my doctor wishes I would just be kind to myself and take them.
Hormonal changes out of our control? Ugh. I had my thyroid removed in 2013 so now rely strictly on Synthroid. And the fluctuating levels of TSH in my body ALWAYS bring on anxiety. If it's too high, if it's too low, or even when it's shifting slightly. So I go have blood drawn, see which way I have to adjust my Synthroid, and then for about 5-6 weeks I suffer side effects (and more anxiety) as my body adjusts to the new dose. And what is so frustrating is that I make such TINY changes in the dose that no doctor believes it can be affecting me, but I know it does. We know our bodies better than our doctors do and I am apparently sensitive to meds - doesn't take much for me to feel the effects.
And speaking of things that we don't even realize are stressing us? God, another one that frustrates the hell out of me! If it were an obvious stressor, I would feel more normal about the anxiety, but most of the time it's stuff I realize AFTER the fact that was causing the anxiety that I wouldn't normally suspect. So it's almost impossible to find the root cause of the anxiety that pops up, and, therefore, try to de-stress, if you don't even know why you're stressed!
The sub-conscious is always busy at work, even when the conscious mind isn't feeling it. I just noticed recently that for about 2-3 weeks before I travel cross-country to visit my grandchildren, my anxiety symptoms start popping up and I wrack my brain to figure out why. I never dreamed it was the upcoming trip because I don't usually notice the obvious travel anxiety until a few days before, but apparently, since it's happened so many times (including right now) my anxiety and worries about the trip kick in well in advance. You would think now knowing that I could reduce it somehow, but so far, no luck. :(
Just grateful to be able to share in a place where others understand.
Sue
We actually need anxiety to survive, sheep dont have it, therefore if you creep up on one and make it jump, you could kill it.
There will never be a cure because its an individuals thought patterns that are the problem, miracle cures from the bogus websites like <admin removal> should be totally ignored and are about as much use as a chocolate fireguard
WiredIncorrectly
02-04-19, 02:57
Seriously. I'd give anything for a cure to stop panic attacks. The worst....
I keep saying I wish my wife could experience just 1 attack to get an appreciation of what i go through when I have an attack.
Worst of all I'm getting them in the middle of the night now and feel even more helpless and alone.
Come on doctors of the world. Find a cure!!
I also wish my partner could experience just 1 of these attacks I have, but I wouldn't wish this on her. It's nasty. It's hard to get people to understand you're plight. Impossible I'd say unless somebody has had experience with traumatic anxiety.
I very much believe man has created this anxiety. By that I mean the fear of death in western culture, and the fear of loss of possessions, valuables, food, money etc are all problems that didn't exist for original man.
I've had periods in life where I've been successful and wealthy. And those points in life I look to as my happiest. Money was no object. I had little worries. I'd wake up excited every day because every day was something new. Money allowed that to happen, and hard work got me that money. But when the hard work was no longer making me the money it was and you start to nose dive then you're back to experience the world like everybody else. A tough struggle where you barely make ends meat.
And money is the dominator. Without it, you don't survive. The human brain was never born to live that way. Humans can naturally gather their own food and should never be in a situation of starvation in the ideal world because nature feeds.
But all of these things are root causes of anxiety today.
The cure is for humans to stop living self destructive and to start working together like every other related organism seems to do (impossible btw). Without worry there can be no anxiety. Once you get caught in the anxiety trap, it's hard to escape it.
ankietyjoe
02-04-19, 08:16
And money is the dominator. Without it, you don't survive. The human brain was never born to live that way. Humans can naturally gather their own food and should never be in a situation of starvation in the ideal world because nature feeds.
This is significant, and an undervalued snippet of information when people assess their lives for stress. What we now perceive as normal, is far from it. Being busy is glorified, when in fact it's very dangerous both physically and mentally.
I also agree that having money IS a source of happiness. Not in terms of material wealth or accumulation, but simply in terms of mental freedom. The mental freedom is significant too.
Its a very complicated issue is anxiety, it can start for no good reason most of the time. myself have been through years of constant anxiety and upto 3 panic attacks daily, the only coping mechanism that works for me is putting a fan on and doing slow deep breathing, needless to say because my anxiety is so bad, going to work is out of the question i wouldnt last 5 minutes.
Only when your brain realizes that anxiety isnt important will it go away, its very similar to a form of shock.
Trying to explain what extreme panic feels like to a non sufferer is a waste of time, they will never understand, even us sufferers cant explain whats going on, that's the scary part.
People always say anxiety isn't dangerous, maybe not, but its bloody terrifying.
Yesterday i felt great, tonight i feel bloody awful
So I thought I was doing well and pushed the boat out trying to do normal things but the over riding fear of another panic attack just wont shift.
Had a minor one last night and its filled me with dread all day.
I try and talk with my wife but I'm not getting through and I feel even more alone. I feel like a failure.
I try and take my meds and try lead a normal life but I'm so aware of my heart beating the slightest increase and I start to lose thought control and work up another panic. It's insane but I just cant break this cycle.
I still want a miracle cure.
There are 3 perceptions you have repeated numerous times throughout this thread, Colin. I think they are important:
1. Your wife not understanding what you go through. (Feeling isolated in your suffering.)
2. Wanting a (miracle) "cure". (Unrealistic and idealistic expectations.)
3. Feeling a "failure". (Subsequent outcome of above 2 points.)
I think these are the areas for you to work on alongside your general panic/anxiety disorder.
Well there's your answer.
The key now is to accept the panic attacks. The more you worry about them, the more they'll happen.
It's probably worth noting that even though you don't mind the work stress, your CNS might.
Mind feels so weak all the time, I also fear my wife has just had enough of my condition and wont be honest with me.
I just want to feel normal.
Look up the book 'Essential Help For Your Nerves' by Claire Weekes, buy it, read it. Infact, she has written lots of books - I think I mentioned them on your thread before, but can't remember clearly. There is NO need to feel fear of panic attacks, they won't do anything to you, the sooner you just accept them, and as she advocates 'float' through them, then quicker you will get clear of them.
Aha, yes, I did post the below back in March......so copy and pasting here again....
The cure is there, its inside yourself, not with a doctor. By reading, understanding, following cbt-type techniques and retraining your thoughts about panic attacks you can banish them. What did if for me, and I'm boring as I've said this so many times, is the old Claire Weekes books. Panic attacks don't kill, they are a temporary high adrenaline state with all its associated physicological changes. Talking yourself through them with phrases such as 'So, a panic attack, it'll pass soon...I'll get on with something else till it does', 'I'll accept this and not be scared of it, as it can do nothing to me', 'ah here we are, as expected a panic attack, well nobody dies from them so neither will I',will make it disappear so much quicker. Its when you remain afraid of them and adrenaline keeps on increasing that the problem arises. Lose the fear. Make a list on paper, stick it to the fridge of phrases like this, if panic appears then read them out loud, repeat and repeat.
It takes practice, effort and repetition to reassure yourself and start being able to curtail them. Many people look to others for 'cures' and want it magiced away, but the good news is that you have ownership of this, you have the power and ability within yourself.You aren't a victim of something that is outside your control. Is it easy to 'cure'? For some it is quick and successful with no blips, for some it takes effort for a long period of time, it takes courage and stead-fast sticking to the retraining approach. Just like giving up smoking, or similar, some drop back into allowing panic to take hold. I had my first panic attack at 12 years old and years of them controlling me;I am now 50 and I'd be lying if I didn't say they appeared now and again. However, armed with years of experience and skills in dealing with them, including not avoiding situations where they have occurred, I can squish them quickly (not fight them! but allow them to be till they pass). Instead of being scared of them, now they just p[&%$ me off :blush:Look up some books from the stickies or articles on this thread?
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/books (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/books)
I just cant seem to find a cure in myself. I have my work which keeps me distracted but at home my mind wanders.
I'm really struggling to break free and stop my mind from wandering. If my wife isn't home and I'm with the kids, more likely to panic. If o wake up in the middle of the night, 9/10 it will be a full on attack.
I fear any exercise has having had panic attacks during exercise was the worst feeling I've ever had.
I read all of the advise but my mind feels so feeble.
Midnight-mouse
18-05-19, 15:06
I just cant seem to find a cure in myself. I have my work which keeps me distracted but at home my mind wanders.
I'm really struggling to break free and stop my mind from wandering. If my wife isn't home and I'm with the kids, more likely to panic. If o wake up in the middle of the night, 9/10 it will be a full on attack.
I fear any exercise has having had panic attacks during exercise was the worst feeling I've ever had.
I read all of the advise but my mind feels so feeble.
I think what helps me the most is not fearing the panic attacks, they aren’t pleasant of course and far from it but they can’t hurt us, we can let it happen and it will pass and in my experience they get easier each time. Avoidance only makes them stronger.
Positive vibes,
Mouse
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
ankietyjoe
18-05-19, 18:33
I just cant seem to find a cure in myself. I have my work which keeps me distracted but at home my mind wanders.
I'm really struggling to break free and stop my mind from wandering. If my wife isn't home and I'm with the kids, more likely to panic. If o wake up in the middle of the night, 9/10 it will be a full on attack.
I fear any exercise has having had panic attacks during exercise was the worst feeling I've ever had.
I read all of the advise but my mind feels so feeble.
It's not just reading the advice, it's practicing that advice for months and months on end.
If you fear your heart rate rising because of exercise, go out for a walk. Make it rise, then just deal with it when it does. I know it sounds brutal, but that's what you have to do. I had to do it for months on end to start to feel normal, and that was after 3 years of doing literally nothing. I would barely walk to the car and back.
When you go for a walk and your heart rate rises, just keep telling yourself over and over again that's what it's supposed to do. Then if it turns into a panic attack, just deal with that too. Let it be, let it happen. Then when it does, tell yourself over and over again that you've had them before and they pass.
Stop complaining about feeling like a failure (which we all do), and do something that'll make you feel like a bit less of a failure. Expose yourself to the things you fear, whilst at the same time telling yourself they're not dangerous.
And do it again, and again, and again. That's the cure you wish for.
DId you get the book I recommended ?
I've ordered a couple, bedtime reading. I'm also reviewing what I eat, trying to focus on losing weight again, setting some life goals long and short term. Need to keep myself busy with projects, too much downtime is dangerous for my mind.
I know I sound like a broken record but I feel I struggle more than others reading these posts.
I know I sound like a broken record but I feel I struggle more than others reading these posts.
Colin, really, you have no idea what others go through, just because they don't publicise it on this forum doesn't mean it doesn't happen. This is a bit a theme with you, that 'nobody understands' 'I have it worse' etc. I think there are plenty here, and all over the country who have the anxiety from hell, however what I notice about you is that you seems absorbed in self-pity and not taking action. Maybe that is the difference you are seeing in others, not that they don't suffer the same or worse than you, but that they are making a lot of effort to overcome it and trying not to focus on it in the same way. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but really going over and over how bad it is and how much you are suffering won't help you overcome it. I'm pleased you have ordered the books, and hope they make a difference for you. :)
ankietyjoe
21-05-19, 20:31
I know I sound like a broken record but I feel I struggle more than others reading these posts.
That's quite frankly a ridiculous thing to say.
I went through a decade of literal hell before I found my way. My anxiety was so bad I didn't leave the house for more or less three years, ended up in hospital multiple times, lost a ton of weight, gained a ton of weight, at the same time i was fighting a 5 year legal battle that cost me £70k, nearly cost me my home, nearly cost me my relationship and stole the first 3-4 years of watching my first son grow up. At the same time as THAT my partner effectively died during the birth of our second child while I watched. I slid on her blood on the floor as I tried to get to her and she was wheeled away for an emergency operation and 4 years later I'm not effectively her carer for many reasons. Caring for her is so stressful that the NHS has agreed to fund therapy for ME on top of therapy for her. She is now has the most serious form of schizophrenia, called DID. I recovered from anxiety whilst all that was going on, because I had to. And raised two kids with her at the same time. And sold our home and moved, and built up a business because I was too afraid to go out and get a job.
When I tell people how to recover from anxiety, it's because of my own massive, relentless struggle for 10 years, NOT because i found it easy.
The reason I still come here is because I can't bare to think that people had to go through what I did. My own personal hell taught me compassion for other peoples struggles, but not for other people's self pity.
Didn't realise I came across this way. But at the same time, I maybe didn't explain my own personal mind hell I go through. If that sounds like self pity then I don't know how else to explain it?
I'd put it down more to frustration and wanting to vent, typing it out helps me but clearly hacks others off.
I do appreciate all the replies and suggestions, its pissing me off that after all this time when I end up in this position I still don't know personally how to break the cycle again.
I just need reassurance and I know a hard stance is also required. Sorry for any offence I may have caused.
Most of us here are living or have lived through our own personal anxiety hell. All we can do is offer advice as to what's worked for us.
With all that said... wallowing doesn't help. Overthinking really doesn't help. Basic self-care is a really good start, though, and faking it til you make it can be a surprisingly good strategy. Panic attacks don't last forever no matter how bad they are, so you have to make good use of the time when you're not in the middle of one to practice your coping strategies.
ankietyjoe
22-05-19, 08:40
Didn't realise I came across this way. But at the same time, I maybe didn't explain my own personal mind hell I go through. If that sounds like self pity then I don't know how else to explain it?
I'd put it down more to frustration and wanting to vent, typing it out helps me but clearly hacks others off.
By all means vent, but don't assume you have it worse than others, because I guarantee you that ain't the case almost ALL the time.
Several people are trying to help you in this thread, some of them (myself included) with specific advice about going through exactly the same thing. Perhaps you could acknowledge what they've said and talk about what you've tried or what you're going to try instead of just using it to vent frustration.
BlueIris is correct as well, you're wallowing and it doesn't help. I know, I wallowed years of my life away, but at some point you just have to get a grip and do the things you don't want to do and get used to doing them again.
As I have mentioned here and in several other threads...if you fear exercise and a raised heart rate you simply have to do it anyway. There is literally no other way to beat this. If you have a panic attack doing it, so be it. Have the attack, dust yourself down, then do it again the next day.
The thing is Colin, ankietyjoe and Blue have mentioned similar feelings to me, its not reassurance you need. The two posters above have given A star opinions, which you are fortunate to have, and you need to internalise their words. What you need is to start actually taking action and doing something based on the advice that has been given on this thread from March onwards. I can certainly assure you, without giving my life history, that I have been through periods of GA and HA anxiety, panic and mental illness that have neccessitated hositalisation. You won't be the worst and you won't be suffering most, neither will I for that matter, which is not saying that it isn't absolute hell. I said as your first post on this thread that there were ways to deal with panic attacks, yet, bemoaning your suffering 2 months later and 'how your wife doesn't understand' and 'you have it worse', and avoiding everything and anything will get you nowhere, really. You need to find some motivation to move beyond the 'this is hell and nobody gets it' and start reading and using the self-help.
'You are not a victim of something outside your control' is a phrase that appears on page one of this thread, it is relevant to repeat it here.
Sandra1980
22-05-19, 17:28
Didn't realise I came across this way. But at the same time, I maybe didn't explain my own personal mind hell I go through. If that sounds like self pity then I don't know how else to explain it?
I'd put it down more to frustration and wanting to vent, typing it out helps me but clearly hacks others off.
At least you can have a relationship I have had panic attacks since the age of 4 and I worked for 10 years which gave me severe panic attacks I am now 52 and have never had a relationship I just managed the best I could until I had a breakdown now I can't work I'm on disability and medication to stop me having panic attacks because if I have just one more it would finish me off for good.
At least you can have a relationship I have had panic attacks since the age of 4 and I worked for 10 years which gave me severe panic attacks I am now 52 and have never had a relationship I just managed the best I could until I had a breakdown now I can't work I'm on disability and medication to stop me having panic attacks because if I have just one more it would finish me off for good.
That's sounds pretty bad, I wish you all the luck in the world.
I had an attack kick in today and tried to use the advise given. I was at lunch after a walk and my HR felt high, did my best to ignore it but did excuse myself and went outside for 5 mins and counted to 100. Read the panic attack advise sheet from off here and it soon passed. Still not great having one and a couple of occasions I let my mind wander to the 'what if' scenarios but did my best to remember all advise given.
Its not nice but at the same time I feel like that was a very small step not wallowing in self pity.
Great going! Sometimes small steps are all we can manage, and that's still fine.
My anxiety isn't a major problem for me these days, but after a long day at work I still find myself dreading the possibility of interaction with anybody else on the walk home, and I have to remind myself that nothing awful's going to happen if some small children I know vaguely want to say hi and talk about their day.
Good stuff! You accepted it was happening and carried on, also doing something else to distract (read a sheet from here). Panic attacks aren't nice, but the more you do this, over time, they will become shorter and easier to curtail. Congrats on a first step.
ankietyjoe
23-05-19, 14:47
That's sounds pretty bad, I wish you all the luck in the world.
I had an attack kick in today and tried to use the advise given. I was at lunch after a walk and my HR felt high, did my best to ignore it but did excuse myself and went outside for 5 mins and counted to 100. Read the panic attack advise sheet from off here and it soon passed. Still not great having one and a couple of occasions I let my mind wander to the 'what if' scenarios but did my best to remember all advise given.
Its not nice but at the same time I feel like that was a very small step not wallowing in self pity.
These are the important bits to remember. But I'd also like to point out that reacting to panic isn't wallowing in self pity. The self pity part (and we all did it at some point) is that you feel like you're the only one that understands and the only one that's ever suffered this way. It ain't, there are thousands and thousands of us.
"It soon passed" is the thing to remember every time. Let it happen, let it go. Practice doing that EVERY time, probably for months. That's what will cure it, not trying to get everybody do understand.
At least you can have a relationship I have had panic attacks since the age of 4 and I worked for 10 years which gave me severe panic attacks I am now 52 and have never had a relationship I just managed the best I could until I had a breakdown now I can't work I'm on disability and medication to stop me having panic attacks because if I have just one more it would finish me off for good.
I realise even more now how much my previous comments were quite ridiculous having read this post again. I can't even comprehend what you must have gone through over your lifetime.
Sandra1980
23-05-19, 17:01
I realise even more now how much my previous comments were quite ridiculous having read this post again. I can't even comprehend what you must have gone through over your lifetime.
I suppose I just adapted to living with it because having anxiety and panic attacks from such a young age I didn't know any different because being like that is just normal for me it did severely affect my life though but now I'm on disability I'm just enjoying the rest.
I've been reading the online CBT program at the top of this forum and it's been a great help. No idea how I never spotted this sooner.
Recognise. Catch it. Get on with my day.
I'm now stopping the crazy thoughts right as they come in. Still need more practice as I'm still doing some safety behaviours.
Early hours of the morning I woke up, mental dream. The past few months that would have meant a full blown attack but I recognised what was happening. Yes my heart rate was up slightly and my body was tingling but kicked the covers off and let the thoughts and panic waves come. It came to nothing and I fell back asleep quite quickly.
Hopefully the start of me working to live with this better.
This is awesome! So glad to hear your hard work is paying off.
Really pleased to hear this !!! :yesyes:
Sandra1980
31-05-19, 20:52
That's good accepting it is part of you is a big step in learning to live with it and you develop your own ways of coping with it.
I hope no one minds if I use this thread to update and give other people some belief in the power you have within yourself.
So its 4.25am as I post and I was awoke with my cat wanting out to chase the singing birds.
I felt that instant and very fast heartbeat and straight away the silly thoughts about what might happen begin to flood my mind. I then start to talk under my breath...
Its adrenaline...
It cant last forever....
Let's ride this out....
No thoughts of what if....its so what...
Within less than a minute that adrenaline rush began to fade and what would have been a massive panic attack and probably waking my wife up for support came and went so quick.
Over the past few weeks I've been pushing myself more to feel uncomfortable in certain situations. I've stopped many safety behaviours and going to my safe positions. It's been a big help.
I knew a big dump of panic was still around the corner but I'm treating this as one of those times and I've dealt with it.
I still have my screenshot off this website and still read the CBT books so I don't forget how to deal with this. Still thanks again to the people who replied to this thread and said some harsh words, that was really what I needed to hear.
ankietyjoe
24-06-19, 09:16
Bingo
Well done
You said you get more of them at night. An item that helped me was picking up some sleep headphones. They lay flat so its super comfortable and you can even use the band to shield your eyes. Ill often listen to guided meditation or ASMR videos to help me relax and fall asleep.
You said you get more of them at night. An item that helped me was picking up some sleep headphones. They lay flat so its super comfortable and you can even use the band to shield your eyes. Ill often listen to guided meditation or ASMR videos to help me relax and fall asleep.
I think it was just a period of me having a couple at that time of night then expecting one. Vicious cycle.
I was thinking all day about having another one at night and then BOOM it would hit me. Feeding my anxiety.
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