Terrified to fly again and needing advise

[textsfromthemoon]

Hey everyone, please forgive me if I'm posting this in the wrong place, I'm usually more frequent on the HA boards. So my boyfriend and I are going to be flying across the country in April to visit his family. I'm very excited for the trip but the problem is I'm terrified to fly. Its kind of complicated because its not that I haven't flown before, its that it seems like every time I fly now my anxiety just gets worse and worse. I flew in 2017 (also across the country) and basically was panic-stricken the whole time but especially during take off. I'm not sure what the best way to go about getting through the flights is, everyone always just say vague things like "distract yourself" or "take a nap" but I really wish it were that easy but its just...not. Part of it is my emetophobia and being afraid of getting sick on the plane, however I plan to take Dramamine this time (which I stupidly didn't last time) to help with that, but just the sensations that go along with flying really set off my anxiety for some reason. Does anyone have experience with this and have things that worked for them? I'm not sure if I should go the medication route? I've never taken any kind of anxiety medication in my life so I'm not sure how that would work/what it would be like? We need to change flights and things so I can't be like totally zonked out. Any advice or experiences would be SO appreciated, thank you!!!!!

[Midnight-mouse]

Hey everyone, please forgive me if I'm posting this in the wrong place, I'm usually more frequent on the HA boards. So my boyfriend and I are going to be flying across the country in April to visit his family. I'm very excited for the trip but the problem is I'm terrified to fly. Its kind of complicated because its not that I haven't flown before, its that it seems like every time I fly now my anxiety just gets worse and worse. I flew in 2017 (also across the country) and basically was panic-stricken the whole time but especially during take off. I'm not sure what the best way to go about getting through the flights is, everyone always just say vague things like "distract yourself" or "take a nap" but I really wish it were that easy but its just...not. Part of it is my emetophobia and being afraid of getting sick on the plane, however I plan to take Dramamine this time (which I stupidly didn't last time) to help with that, but just the sensations that go along with flying really set off my anxiety for some reason. Does anyone have experience with this and have things that worked for them? I'm not sure if I should go the medication route? I've never taken any kind of anxiety medication in my life so I'm not sure how that would work/what it would be like? We need to change flights and things so I can't be like totally zonked out. Any advice or experiences would be SO appreciated, thank you!!!!!

Hi there! I’m an emetophobe too and have the same thoughts while travelling. I have taken ginger pills and herbal medication for anxiety (calms) I’ve never once gotten travel sick even without these.

Travel sickness isn’t often something that happens out of the blue, either you normally experience it or you don’t.

I did have a couple of panic attacks on my longer flight (U.K. to New York) but even then I calmed back down and the flight staff were amazing. Even let me sit in one of their chairs out of the crowd to calm myself down. On the way back I changed seats to sit by the door so I could feel a slight breeze and there was no one in front of me, that helped a bunch!

I hope you enjoy your trip!

Positive vibes,

Mouse.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Carys]

I'm going to follow your thread, as although I don't have any advice I am in the same situation as you. I have flown quite many times (but not in recent years) and instead of getting better and better, I got worse and more anxious everytime. I will be flying this year, and same as you it is terrifying me and consuming my thoughts.

[textsfromthemoon]

Thank you both for responding, I'm definitely going to look into the ginger, my comfort food/item is mints so I'm going to definitely make sure I have plenty of those in my carry on as well when it gets time for packing (the trip isn't for another four weeks or so). I used to get motion sick as a kid, mostly in cars though, I ended up feeling sick on my flight home last year (I think partially from anxiety and partially from the flight being super early and not eating anything) so I think the Dramamine will help at least calm me a bit. Thats really great that the flight staff were so understanding! I'm happy that I'll be traveling with my boyfriend this time (I was alone on my last flights), he knows about my anxiety and is pretty good at helping me through it, its usually take off thats the worst for me and sometimes landing if they have to circle the runway a lot. Thank you so much for your response, it really helped me feel better!

And Carys I'm really glad I'm not alone with the anxiety getting worse with more flying thing, anxiety can be so frustrating sometimes, like I just want to shake my brian and be like "WE'VE DONE THIS BEFORE!! WHY ARE YOU MORE ANXIOUS NOW?!"

[Carys]

I'm personally looking into the fear of flying courses right now, people speak very highly of them. I have read a couple of books in the past, from Birtish Airways, which are based on the courses and did help somewhat.....but it seems anything they did in terms of good has now been replaced with extra fear.

[LF87]

I hate flying too and also have had emetophobia since I was about 17. Take off for me is crazy, I can feel my heart pounding so totally understand! It's probably not conventional advice, but I find having a couple of glasses of wine on the flight really helps calm my nerves. I always take a pack of cards to play with my partner, and magazines with the puzzles in the back too. Distraction and a few drinks does help me, but unfortunately doesn't completely take away my anxiety of flying / being ill. The fact you're feeling the fear and doing it anyway is great, you haven't been defeated! Try not to let it spoil the run up to your holiday and just accept you'll feel a bit anxious, but that you will be fine :)

[beatroon]

Hello there - I just wanted to chime in as my partner used to suffer very badly with fear of flying. Now she is completely fine: 180 degree turnaround. She got some hypnotherapy to help with her anxiety and that really helped, but she also used to have Valium on standby in case she needed it. We're in the UK, but she could get it from her GP: just having it in her purse made her feel in control and as a result she never actually needed it. The final thing I can recommend is Allen Carr's book on fear of flying - I'm not affiliated to him in any way but I have found his books very comforting and useful. Good luck!

[DustingMyselfOff]

You're not alone, but doesn't it always feel like you're the only one with this fear when you're on the plane!?!? Everyone else looks so calm and happy and bored, while we are freaking out, at least on the inside. Yes, I hate flying, too. Afraid of panic attacks, afraid of being dizzy and throwing up, afraid my colitis will act up and I'll have to get to the bathroom even when you're not allowed to leave your seat, etc. And now, my daughter lives across country so every 4 months or so I fly cross country to visit. I've tried the distraction, I've done the fear of flying courses, I've done the meditation and calming techniques, and the only thing that works (now that I've finally given in to using it) is Dramamine and a tranquilizer. Why suffer needlessly... use it if you need it. Even if I have a layover, I'm not too tired or zombified to get off the plane and onto the next one, but now I try to fly non-stop so I can even nap through some of the long flight.

I feel your pain, and I've decided I'll do whatever I have to to get out there to see my new grandkids. It's not a sin or a weakness to need medication.... we have a disorder and if you have the meds, use them. Don't let this ruin your trip.
Sue

[textsfromthemoon]

Thank you so much everyone who has responded I really appreciate it a lot! I'm definitely going to look into the fear of flying books, I enjoy reading and get some downtime at work so I think that may be something I could use in the coming weeks to help me prepare! It's so true that nobody else ever seems anxious when I go on flights!! I always feel like the only one but I'm really glad to hear I'm not. We leave for our trip on April 3rd and fly back again on April 9th, so its 4 flights in total that I will be going on (each way has a stop), its so weird because I feel like what scares me changes from day to day, some days im scared of getting sick, others im scared of something going wrong with the plane (which logically I know is super improbable) and sometimes its feeling claustrophobic.