Ex partener moving away with kids

[bluebirds2005]

well my partner left me for another man who she now lives with down the road from me with our kids who i see every day and love spending time with now shes told me shes moving them all to london and i can see the kids every couple of months.the new bloke is a soilder so will b moving around all over the place and my kids are destraught coz they want to stay in there area with there friends and me. Im utterly devestated coz my kids mean the world to me and i do everything for them i dont know how im going to cope not seeing them especially with my panic aswell i guess im just scared of losing them forever cause there such a massive part of my life.sorry to go on but just wanted to get it off my chest thanx for listening guys

[trac67]

Sorry to hear this Gareth, can you not make some sort of arrangement so that you can have your children for a weekend every month, as you have rights to still be able to see them

Love

Trac xxx

[bluebirds2005]

yes but once a month after seeing them every day wud b a nightmare i mean all there lives shes never taking them anywhere except to school when there with me we go everywhere cinema beach fishing forestry theyll have none of this when they leave which i know is gonna make them miserable

[lilibet]

Darling Gareth

I think that your post is so distressing. You obviously think the universe of your children, and i honestly dont know what to say to make you feel any better. I can only imagine how i would feel if my son was going a long way away. Why is it that sometimes a dads feelings are disregarded as "you will have to cope," when it very rarely happens to a mummy.

I am divorced from my sons dad but i always make sure he is totally involved, and i too had the chance to move away but i wouldnt as i really believe a dad needs to be involved.

I feel for you from my heart i will have a think about it and see if i have any more ideas

love lilibet

[bluebirds2005]

thanx lilibet yes my kids are my world i do everything for them everytime her and her bloke wanna go somewhere they dump the kids on me which i love but think is very hipocritical considering that when i started seeing someone she stopped me seeing them altogether until i got rid of my new partner which i foolishly did because i missed my kids so much but now it seems that im going to lose everything through no fault of my own its so frustrating

[trac67]

Gareth

Could you get some advice from the CAB or a solicitor about the children ?

Trac xxx

[bluebirds2005]

ive got a solicitor and ive also been granted parental resposibility the next step now is to apply for a prohibited steps order

[Lindalou64]

hi gareth,i know our kids mean the world to us....i dont know how your system works but in american cant you have joint custoday .......meaning i know thats hard moving them back and fourth but what else is there like summer time school vacations ect......a thot anyways im so sorry i feel for ya hun..........wish ya the best........linda

[bluebirds2005]

thanx linda yeah we have school holidays and that but were talking about them changing countrys which will traumatise my oldest hes already in tears over it and the ex is so selfish ill only be able to see them on her terms or if i give her money yes she is that vindictive just wish they cud be left where there settled i just want whats best for my kids i mean there only 8,6 and 4 it must b having an effect on them

[Krakers]

Bluebird - you have joint custody according to our chat the other day. That means your partner has to be just as accomodating as you can be.

Every couple of months is not joint. Like i said the other night, alternate weeks may work. If that fails, then insist on 3 1/2 days per week. You'd be amazed how quickly she may change to an arrangement that works for you both when she realises that on a Wednesday afternoon she has to make the trip to you, and at weekend the trip is reversed.

Theres little point stopping her moving - it may be the best all round (yes I know the kids will miss their friends, but thats for only half a week or every other week).

Enforce what you have been granted. Joint custody is exactly that, and you have every right to expect as much effort on your ex's part as she expects on yours.

If she insists on every couple of months then return to court. You've won half the battle already, and any sane judge will rule that the continuing terms are fair to both parties.

Krakers.

[bluebirds2005]

hi krakers i dont think the courts would go for that because it would mean the children being in one school for half a week and another school for the second half

[ladygrom]

gareth im realy sorry to hear that your kids are moving away it must b so hard 4 you i realy feel 4 you i cant imagine how you are feeling i got 2 kids they are my world tc elaine

[bluebirds2005]

thanx gromit i do really appreciate the support and kind words off everyone on here it means alot

[Granny Primark]

Hi gareth,
Just read your story.Good grief what a wonderful dad you seem.
I cant offer you any advice but I just want to send you some hugs and loads of good wishes.

Take care
LYNN xx

[bluebirds2005]

thanx lynn i try my best under the circumstances

[kazzie]

Hi Bluebirds:)

If I were you I would apply for full custody of the children.......this would force a court case and the wishes of the children would be taken into account!!!

When I was in a similar wrangle years ago I did this and the court welfare service asked my son outright who he wanted to live with!!

My thoughts are with you:hugs:

Luv Kaz x

[bluebirds2005]

thanx kaz and yes im going to go to court but i dont want full custody as much as i would love it because no matter how bad she was to me shes always been a great mum to our children

[angiebaby]

Hi there, we spoke on chat the other night, don't know if you remember me? But like i said before, i believe that all that moving about constantly will be detrimental to your children and i believe that a family court would believe this also. They have to do what is best for the children and i do think that keeping them in a stable environment would be best - no exeptions. Childrens rights have gone from strength to strength over the years, thank goodness!!
She is being very self centred about things and she is in the wrong, she was the one who went off with someone else and that doesn't seem very stable to me anyhow. You did mention that he would be going away with his unit soon didn't you? I think the court would frown on all of this and opt for what is best and most stable for your children and in my eyes this would be to stay where they are! I am not saying by any means that they should not see their mother, you said that she was a good mother, although she doesn't seem to be taking much interest in her children right now does she, and certainly not taking your children's feelings and wishes into account at all. Very selfish. My children always come first, my family is very important to me - no exeptions at all. If she still wants to move away then that is her choice then she will have to come back on a regular basis to see the children won't she. I am hoping that your lawyer and your father, the judge, will continue to give you lots of help and support and everything will work out. Do please keep me updated, i have been thinking of you since we spoke before. PM me if you would like, i wish you all well.xx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Gareth,

I'm so sorry to hear of your problem. If your ex-partner's new "partner" is going to be sent off soon what is the point of her moving? Why doesn't she stay where she is and she goes off to visit him in London? That way the children can stay where they are and continue to live the way they have been and their lives will not be further turned upside down. She has done enough damage already!

Good luck,

Laura

[bluebirds2005]

hi angie yeah of course i remember and yes u do make a lot of valid points and im determined to fight her every step of the way to stop my kids from moving my oldest boy who is 8 is adamant hes not going and is coming to live with me her answer to him was tough your coming wether i have to drag u by your hair or strap u to the roof of the car which kind of shows u the frame of mind shes in at the moment its all about her and she doesnt care who gets hurt in the process and laura thanx for your kind words and i hope that your right

[Krakers]

Hi Bluebird - theres more than one way to skin a rabbit. If your ex had weekends and all other breaks thats still about joint. Worth considering when you go before the judge.

Then theres no change to the kids daily routine, and you've made your best effort. Compromise will get you everywhere, but don't get walked over.

Krakers.