PITITA
08-09-07, 07:48
I am going through a very rough week at the moment as I had a day where I felt very happy in the morning till about 6pm ( I had an "aha!" thought regarding what I wanted to do with my life career-wise so I was almost ecstatic as if someone had just won the lottery), then BANG a huge wave of depression came, but the type that is very physical and you know it is depression because you can't distract your thoughts and just snap out of it, so of course my first thought was I must be manic depressed :weep:
I tried calming myself down, but then I started thinking back to about 8 months ago, when I had a very similar episode, so that just kept playing on my mind that it has happened before, what if I really am manic depressed?
Of course as the whole analysis and introspection started I am very depressed since (it has been 3 days as it happened on Wednesday) but really like I just don't want to get out of bed, crying a lot already that my life is over and feeling that I will never get out of this rut. Another thing that absolutely terrifies me is that when I get this depressed I feel EXHAUSTED even when I wake up, I start crying because I have to get out of bed and then more tears because I feel this way and because it feels that it will never go away :weep::weep::weep:
I do need to mention though that I am pre-menstrual, but I don’t always get this way before each period, and I did have 3 coffees on Wednesday and apparently coffee and pre-menstrual tension doesn’t really go down well. A friend of mine reckons that she gets really depressed and down once the effect of the coffee is gone.
However I have been going through hell with all my what ifs and somehow in the back of my mind I just can’t let go of the manic depression fear and its eating me up!
What if I really am manic depressed? :weep:
Hubbie although listens to my fears just dismisses them immediately as a load of crap.
Someone any advice please?
I tried calming myself down, but then I started thinking back to about 8 months ago, when I had a very similar episode, so that just kept playing on my mind that it has happened before, what if I really am manic depressed?
Of course as the whole analysis and introspection started I am very depressed since (it has been 3 days as it happened on Wednesday) but really like I just don't want to get out of bed, crying a lot already that my life is over and feeling that I will never get out of this rut. Another thing that absolutely terrifies me is that when I get this depressed I feel EXHAUSTED even when I wake up, I start crying because I have to get out of bed and then more tears because I feel this way and because it feels that it will never go away :weep::weep::weep:
I do need to mention though that I am pre-menstrual, but I don’t always get this way before each period, and I did have 3 coffees on Wednesday and apparently coffee and pre-menstrual tension doesn’t really go down well. A friend of mine reckons that she gets really depressed and down once the effect of the coffee is gone.
However I have been going through hell with all my what ifs and somehow in the back of my mind I just can’t let go of the manic depression fear and its eating me up!
What if I really am manic depressed? :weep:
Hubbie although listens to my fears just dismisses them immediately as a load of crap.
Someone any advice please?