happyone
08-09-07, 16:03
I was thinking (yep! smell the burning!)
When I first came here anx was a huge deal in my life. I was getting that I didn't want to go out of the door, cried if I had to go to shops, threw up before going other places, thought I would faint in docs surgery, obsessive thoughts etc etc (I don't need to describe it...you all know the symptoms!)
Then I was treated for depression, a bit later, bipolar mood disorder. My anx has reduced to such a small amount compared to what it used to be. I still get anx, but I generally can do whatever I need to do without too much bother and some situations don't bother me at all now, like Tesco's:yesyes: (even at the weekend!)
What is the point I am trying to make? I am getting there ...honest!
Every now and then, I get little reminders of how it used to be. Ectopics are a frequent one, and needing to go to loo NOW (TMI:blush:).
BUT!!!!! Over the past week I had been looking for a holiday in the sun. It was just to be me and my mum...no kids. I had found one, lovely place, great price, ideal flight times etc etc and phoned up to book it. The computers were down so the guy said he would phone me back. When I got off the phone.....MAJOR PA!!!! I all of a sudden decided that if I went on that holiday...I would die. I got the works, hyperventilating, tight chest, feeling I was going to die if I so much as picked up the phone! The phone rang, I let it ring out (twice!) I threw up after ignoring the phone and retired to bed (turning off the ringer on the bedroom phone) I had nightmares through the night and the following day I ignored the phone again. I spent the day in dread (tight chest, nausea, pins and needles etc etc), worrying that if I even spoke to the guy from the holiday company that he would pressure me into booking it and I would therefore die:wacko:
What I did instead was book another holiday!! With my husband and kids but near home for over the weekend in the middle of the holiday that I was supposed to be going with my mum! So if the guy phoned, I was otherwise engaged! After that I began to relax.
Now, even though I knew at the time that I was experiencing classic panic (and a bit ocd) symptoms...it didn't help. I don't regret not booking the week in the sun (but I may after spending a weekend in a caravan with hubby and two kids!) and I still believe I might die if I go away without my girls. The problem being is that I have a weekend booked to go away with my friend in October and whilst it is not out of this country it is far from home and I won't have my car with me. The anx is rising, even thinking about it.
Anyone experienced similar reminders that the old anxiety beast still exists? Any suggestions to help me not take a flakey last minute and not go away with my friend?
happyone
xx
When I first came here anx was a huge deal in my life. I was getting that I didn't want to go out of the door, cried if I had to go to shops, threw up before going other places, thought I would faint in docs surgery, obsessive thoughts etc etc (I don't need to describe it...you all know the symptoms!)
Then I was treated for depression, a bit later, bipolar mood disorder. My anx has reduced to such a small amount compared to what it used to be. I still get anx, but I generally can do whatever I need to do without too much bother and some situations don't bother me at all now, like Tesco's:yesyes: (even at the weekend!)
What is the point I am trying to make? I am getting there ...honest!
Every now and then, I get little reminders of how it used to be. Ectopics are a frequent one, and needing to go to loo NOW (TMI:blush:).
BUT!!!!! Over the past week I had been looking for a holiday in the sun. It was just to be me and my mum...no kids. I had found one, lovely place, great price, ideal flight times etc etc and phoned up to book it. The computers were down so the guy said he would phone me back. When I got off the phone.....MAJOR PA!!!! I all of a sudden decided that if I went on that holiday...I would die. I got the works, hyperventilating, tight chest, feeling I was going to die if I so much as picked up the phone! The phone rang, I let it ring out (twice!) I threw up after ignoring the phone and retired to bed (turning off the ringer on the bedroom phone) I had nightmares through the night and the following day I ignored the phone again. I spent the day in dread (tight chest, nausea, pins and needles etc etc), worrying that if I even spoke to the guy from the holiday company that he would pressure me into booking it and I would therefore die:wacko:
What I did instead was book another holiday!! With my husband and kids but near home for over the weekend in the middle of the holiday that I was supposed to be going with my mum! So if the guy phoned, I was otherwise engaged! After that I began to relax.
Now, even though I knew at the time that I was experiencing classic panic (and a bit ocd) symptoms...it didn't help. I don't regret not booking the week in the sun (but I may after spending a weekend in a caravan with hubby and two kids!) and I still believe I might die if I go away without my girls. The problem being is that I have a weekend booked to go away with my friend in October and whilst it is not out of this country it is far from home and I won't have my car with me. The anx is rising, even thinking about it.
Anyone experienced similar reminders that the old anxiety beast still exists? Any suggestions to help me not take a flakey last minute and not go away with my friend?
happyone
xx