Unicorn1985
02-04-19, 17:27
Hi. I’m new to the forum. I’ve been reading posts but this is my first time posing. It’s taken a lot for me to post and I know there are lots of posts about Lymph nodes but this is taking over my life.
I recently found a lump in my right armpit. I was at my sister in laws and we were playing games. I left the room as part of the game and for some stupid reason decided to start digging about in my armpit. I could feel a little something and my heart sank. I got home and I pulled my armpit about, got angry with my husband when he said couldn’t really feel anything and just completely spiralled.
If my arm is elevated above my head and with my hand on the wall it feels like a big lump. If I pinch the skin it feels like lots of tiny lumps. I’m not skinny, I’m about two stone over weight and I heard most people can only feel them when they are skinny. Is it the anxiety or is it real. Do I have a huge lump or is it just lots of tiny nodes that feel like one lump when I lift my arm. I don’t know but I’m terrified. This has literally consumed me for the past three months. Some days I’m convinced I’m dying, others I can be rational and say I’m ok it’s not changed size in three months. Most days I look at my breasts obsessively looking for lumps or skin changes. My right nipple is less sensitive than my left so I panick about that. I’m just in a constant panic and have been for three months. I try to enjoy things and then my brain says “hey don’t forget about that lump. I bet you’re dying! “
i go to counsellong but im not on medication. I also know my hormones aren’t completely right as I suffer with adult acne on my chin and jaw line which is hormonal.
My health anxiety started 2 years ago when I pulled a muscle when exercising and was in a lot of pain. I’ve had so many cancers over the past two years. I was getting better and not googling all the time until I found this lump. Now I feel back to square one. I just feel like this is it now. This is going to be me until I die. Constant panic about getting ill, then I will get ill and die. I feel so low all the time.
My my daughter died 11 years ago this Xmas. My husband struggled when she died and I pushed us to keep going. I made us do up our flat, get a dog, have another baby. Then I had another who was constantly ill until her tonsils were removed last year. My life started to feel settled 2 years ago, dream house, financially sound, apart from my youngest getting poorly with tonsillitis a lot life was the best it had been in years. I finally had all I wanted. We worked hard. Then this. Is it delayed trauma? Did I just distract myself for years and now my kids are at school it’s all coming out. All I know is that I’m terrified of dying, especially of dying in a really awful painful way. I’m terrified of surgery, I’m terrified of chemo, I’m just scared all the time. Waiting for something awful to happen.
Sorry for war war and peace. I could go on and one but I feel I have too much already. X
I recently found a lump in my right armpit. I was at my sister in laws and we were playing games. I left the room as part of the game and for some stupid reason decided to start digging about in my armpit. I could feel a little something and my heart sank. I got home and I pulled my armpit about, got angry with my husband when he said couldn’t really feel anything and just completely spiralled.
If my arm is elevated above my head and with my hand on the wall it feels like a big lump. If I pinch the skin it feels like lots of tiny lumps. I’m not skinny, I’m about two stone over weight and I heard most people can only feel them when they are skinny. Is it the anxiety or is it real. Do I have a huge lump or is it just lots of tiny nodes that feel like one lump when I lift my arm. I don’t know but I’m terrified. This has literally consumed me for the past three months. Some days I’m convinced I’m dying, others I can be rational and say I’m ok it’s not changed size in three months. Most days I look at my breasts obsessively looking for lumps or skin changes. My right nipple is less sensitive than my left so I panick about that. I’m just in a constant panic and have been for three months. I try to enjoy things and then my brain says “hey don’t forget about that lump. I bet you’re dying! “
i go to counsellong but im not on medication. I also know my hormones aren’t completely right as I suffer with adult acne on my chin and jaw line which is hormonal.
My health anxiety started 2 years ago when I pulled a muscle when exercising and was in a lot of pain. I’ve had so many cancers over the past two years. I was getting better and not googling all the time until I found this lump. Now I feel back to square one. I just feel like this is it now. This is going to be me until I die. Constant panic about getting ill, then I will get ill and die. I feel so low all the time.
My my daughter died 11 years ago this Xmas. My husband struggled when she died and I pushed us to keep going. I made us do up our flat, get a dog, have another baby. Then I had another who was constantly ill until her tonsils were removed last year. My life started to feel settled 2 years ago, dream house, financially sound, apart from my youngest getting poorly with tonsillitis a lot life was the best it had been in years. I finally had all I wanted. We worked hard. Then this. Is it delayed trauma? Did I just distract myself for years and now my kids are at school it’s all coming out. All I know is that I’m terrified of dying, especially of dying in a really awful painful way. I’m terrified of surgery, I’m terrified of chemo, I’m just scared all the time. Waiting for something awful to happen.
Sorry for war war and peace. I could go on and one but I feel I have too much already. X