HIV Fear

[telltheking]

I did something incredibly stupid 2 weeks ago. I got incredibly drunk and had sex with a prostitute in Portugal. It was brief and I struggled to maintain an erection. I used a condom but cannot remember if it was on the whole time and when I woke up I had blood on my penis (a brown liquid - possibly period?). I suspect what might have happened is, as I took it off, what it was covered in got onto my penis. I am now absolutely terrified I am infected with an STI and most of all HIV.

I have a long term partner who doesn't know about this. I haven't had sex with her since and absolutely won't until I know I am all clear.

I have been deeply depressed and worried for 2 weeks and will likely be for the next 2 weeks which is the earliest time I can have a test.

I know I have made a terrible error of judgement and I cannot stop thinking about the regret and shame over what I did. I suppose I just need some reassurance that I am not going to die and the world isn't about to collapse on me.

Steven

[utrocket09]

I did something incredibly stupid 2 weeks ago. I got incredibly drunk and had sex with a prostitute in Portugal. It was brief and I struggled to maintain an erection. I used a condom but cannot remember if it was on the whole time and when I woke up I had blood on my penis (a brown liquid - possibly period?). I suspect what might have happened is, as I took it off, what it was covered in got onto my penis. I am now absolutely terrified I am infected with an STI and most of all HIV.

I have a long term partner who doesn't know about this. I haven't had sex with her since and absolutely won't until I know I am all clear.

I have been deeply depressed and worried for 2 weeks and will likely be for the next 2 weeks which is the earliest time I can have a test.

I know I have made a terrible error of judgement and I cannot stop thinking about the regret and shame over what I did. I suppose I just need some reassurance that I am not going to die and the world isn't about to collapse on me.

Steven

In the US, you can go have a rapid HIV test done. Not sure if you have that option in your country, but maybe look into it.

[RadioGaGa]

There's no evidence to say the condom came off, so let's not get carried away like anxiety likes to make us, and assume the condom stayed on.

This was heterosexual sex, and prostitutes are actually more likely to be ''negative'' than, say, a promiscuous woman.

The vaginal to penile transmission route is extremely low risk. Imho you could forget about this and just test whenever your next ''check up'' is due, but anxiety won't let you do this.

Go and collect your negative HIV test in 2 weeks time. I think there is the PCR HIV test the poster describes above, which is accurate from 7 days PE. However I believe its costly and weighing your very very very (possibly, arguably no risk situation) I'd just wait until 4 week mark

Good luck

[RadioGaGa]

The risk of getting HIV from putting your penis into a +ve woman's vagina is 0.04%.

Source: www.catie.ca

[telltheking]

Thanks RadioGaGa. I am still terrified, such is health anxiety. I know the chances are remote but there we are.....no symptoms at least and hopefully I can move on with every thing soon.

I think the tests that you do before 4 weeks are here but aren't entirely accurate - so you are absolutely correct in understanding my mentality in not wanting to do something that wont put my mind at rest!

[Fishmanpa]

I'm quite sure all will be well health wise but I'm more concerned about the regret and shame you're feeling and how that will manifest itself with your anxiety and mental well being.

Positive thoughts

[RadioGaGa]

I'm "gay" myself so I don't want anybody to accuse me of "stereotyping" or "homophobia" or anything similar in this post, because that's simply not the case.

I had HIV health anxiety when I was about 18 (I can't remember my exact age but it was around then).

HIV is difficult to transmit - that's just fact. It can't survive outside the body for any sort of time - this is in your favour. Let's pretend this woman you were with was in fact "positive". HIV is a blood-borne virus, it is only transmitted via this route. So even if she had a very high viral load, and her blood "landed" on the skin of your penis, unless you had actively bleeding wounds (which you would have noticed), it cannot be transmitted this way. It simply can't.

You're also a heterosexual. I took the "liberty" of consulting the Terence Higgins Trust for the latest HIV statistics. According to their website:

* 53% of the new 4363 diagnoses in 2017 were among gay men (or "men who have sex with men" as is the PC term)
* Of the 1,810 diagnoses among heterosexuals, 38% were black Africans.

So from this, 1122 non-black "heterosexuals" were diagnosed with the virus in the UK in 2017. IMHO, a significant minority of this population probably acquired it through "MSM" activities, but were too afraid/ashamed/embarrassed/you-name-it to admit it.

We'll be really conservative, and pretend 1,100 white heteros contravted HIV by means of heterosexual sex alone in the UK in 2017. We'll also pretend 98% of the UK population (rounded to 65,000,000) are heterosexual, which would be 63,700,000. So, to do the basic maths, 1100 / 63,700,000 x 100 = 0.0017. You have a 0.0017 chance of becoming HIV+ as a heterosexual in the UK each year. Yes, we could be argumentative and try to narrow it down by age group, "promiscuity level" and other things, but let's not - let's just see the "overall picture". These statistics will not vary much (if at all) in a country like Portugal.

HIV does not discriminate - it doesn't care if you're black, white, straight or gay - it will infect you if given the opportunity. But the fact is, the "anal sex" route is far more risky. Yes, straights do practice anal sex, but it is the only penetrative sex gay men can practice.

I know this has turned into a bit of a "mini lecture", but I'm in the mood for this sort of post (:roflmao:)

This is a topic I see on here relatively frequently - someone is scared about contracting HIV. But it is, as a matter of fact, difficult to transmit. There is quite the debate about whether oral sex is a risk factor for HIV infection. There is not a single documented case (that I can find, searching the literature) of HIV infection occurring by oral sex alone. There was also a large (Spanish, I think) study which followed "sero-discordant" couples with HIV infection who only practiced oral sex e.g. one had HIV, one did not. None of them contracted HIV. However, this study is open to debate, because I'm unsure if the positive patients were on antiretroviral therapy.

When you become infected with HIV, two "aspects" of the virus are detectable in the blood. The first is the "p24 antigen" and the second is the "antibody" i.e. your immune system's response to the infection. These antibodies are superfluous, as "retroviruses" use the hosts immune cells to replicate, destroying them in the process, resulting in immunodefieciency. The p24 antigen spikes after months, if not years ( I can't remember the exact time frame) and then decreases until it is antibodies only that are detected.

You're also at two weeks and have not reported any signs of "acute retroviral syndrome". >80% experience this. And no, it's not a "mild fever" or a "bit of a sore head". it is the worst flu of your life x 10000! So that is also reassuring (even though we don't need reassurance, based upon your lack of risk from your description). If, between now and 2 weeks time you experience symptoms which you "attribute" to HIV ARS (you don't have it) you can test - that's because, when people have ARS, their immune system has initiated a response, so a basic antibody test will be positive.

If I were you, I would just test once annually (as I do), because what you describe is simply not a risk factor. But, please take a 4th Gen ("HIV Duo") test at 28 days, and report back with your negative result.

I have posted this to reassure not only you, but any other heterosexual who may read this worried about HIV Infection.

HIV is only transmitted via the following routes:
* Needlestick injury (e.g. Nurse is stabbed with a needle)
* UNprotected anal sex
* UNprotected vaginal sex
* Oral sex if you have terribly bad hygiene (e.g. "meth mouth") and other "theoretical" risk factors (this is open to debate)

For now, I will go and relax with my vodka/coke!

Good luck

[RadioGaGa]

I also agree very much so with Fishmanpa's response

[telltheking]

Thank you so much for all your help, RadioGaGa. That is really useful and has put my mind at rest quite a bit!

Problem I have is that I was SO drunk that I remember so little of what happened and I obviously just think the worst. For example, I cannot remember if we also had anal intercourse - which seems unlikely tbh. I do not know whether that brown 'substance' on my penis was period blood or something else.....these make it very difficult to rationalise.

But as you say, even if the person did have HIV - its still very unlikely to be transmitted from a single encounter.

[telltheking]

Thank you Fishmanpa. The last 2 weeks have been very tough and I have been thinking about the mistake I have made and, if the worst happened, what the future would hold. I have tried to be positive and have felt a bit better last couple of days.

[telltheking]

OK. I have booked a RNA HIV test for Monday morning. It is apparently 99% accurate (but was expensive). Hopefully this will all be over soon!

[RadioGaGa]

Told ya so gang will be on standby

[telltheking]

Hi all. So I had the RNA Test yesterday which was 16 days after exposure. I tested negative. Whilst I was very happy with the outcome, I phoned the Terrance Higgins Trust after just to check how accurate these tests are. The person on the phone, who seemed very knowledgeable, said that they were 'not recommended for diagnostic testing' in the UK and aren't as reliable as other tests. He told me that my chances of exposure are very limited and the test accuracy is still 90-95% accurate but that I should test again.

I am happy to test negative but it hasn't allowed the nagging feeling in my mind to disappear. I am annoyed as I paid a lot of money for the test.

I know it is common among people with HA to ignore test results and doctors comments, but I feel there is a genuine issue here with test accuracy.

[RadioGaGa]

That's still largely reassuring (even though we don't need reassurance as there is no evidence you were actually exposed to the virus.)

Something worth bearing in mind - and I say this having (had) severe health anxiety. No test is 100% accurate. That's something we have to learn to accept.

Get the 4th Gen HIV test at 28 days post exposure from your GUM clinic (can also be done at GP surgery, in my trust anyway)

But, again, I'll emphasise you do not need this testing.

[KK77]

I know it is common among people with HA to ignore test results and doctors comments, but I feel there is a genuine issue here with test accuracy.

But I don't think there was a genuine risk with exposure in the first place.

I would move on from this and resume normal daily life. It was an error of judgement.

[Fishmanpa]

genuine issue here

The genuine issue here is anxiety. Your post is literally a textbook response to this fear and there are dozens and dozens of similar threads just like this on the boards.

Positive thoughts

[telltheking]

Hi all.

I posted on here a month ago. I was very concerned about 8 weeks ago, about having HIV after a drunken and incredibly stupid sex with a prostitute whilst abroad after I woke up to find (brown - I suspect menstrual) blood on my penis the following morning. This is despite there being a used condom on the floor. I am aware that the risk from a single encounter with a female (even a prostitute) is incredibly low (less than 1% - even if she was HIV positive).

I had a rapid RNA test done 16 days after which has an accuracy of 90%+ which came back negative. I also was tested for chlamydia and gonorrhoea which also came back negative. I have had absolutely no symptoms of any kind.

I cannot however stop worrying about having it. The worry from that initial 16 days has been seared into my brain and I cannot stop it. I have been feeling depressed for the past 2 weeks and have been drinking heavily. I know deep, deep down there is nothing wrong with me. It is the guilt and shame of what I have done given that I have a partner which is also getting to me.

I have had this feeling of all-consuming worry before and its always health related but I cannot remember it being as bad as this.

[ankietyjoe]

I cannot however stop worrying about having it.

Try harder then.

You've already been given a ton of reassurance on here AND been tested as negative.

What else do you expect people here to tell you?

You can stop worrying about it, find something else to fill your time.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

[ErinKC]

While I am certainly not a therapist or mental health expert in any way, shape, or form, my gut tells me that a great deal (if not all) of you anxiety is spawning from the guilt and shame you are feeling about what you did. I don't think any degree of reassurance that you have not contracted HIV will help with that. I think you should focus on finding a way to deal with the feelings you have surrounding those actions. You cannot go back in time and change things, so you need to accept that you did something wrong and decide how you want to handle that and how you can move on from it.

We all make mistakes. We're human. You clearly see that you did something wrong and understand the potentially horrible consequences, which will hopefully make you very unlikely to repeat this behavior in the future. Talking with a therapist or a trusted friend may help you work through this situation.

[telltheking]

Here we are some 3.5 years since this incident and I have been crippled by fear again. I thought I was over it.

My wife is 8 weeks pregnant now and had to take an HIV test (routine). She has had all other test results back except the infectious diseases one (which is the one I am worried about). I am beside myself convinced that they have found something. It sounds ridiculous as I type it, because they would have told us by now (6 days since tests and 5 days since all other tests come back). This may be just because they dont even bother to tell you 'negative' if you are low risk (NHS England) and only notify you if something abnormal comes back.

I KNOW that this is an irrational fear, the rational part of my brain laughs at the anxious part. But I cannot stop ruminating about the 'what ifs', fearing the worst. I get over them, then 10 minutes later they are back.