View Full Version : Has anyone mistaken fat/other tissue for a lymph node?
Ok so I'm really posting this out of sheer curiosity, aside from the fact that I don't know why my anxiety has gone down the lymph node path. Again. Basically today is not the best of days for me - I don't know why my but my brain just got super, SUPER fixated on my underarm nodes again. And when I mean super fixated, I mean I have actually opened up wounds that should not be there from checking and checking. Basically I know what lymph nodes I have felt there for a while I have them mapped out and all that joy that health anxiety brings, but now I'm just searching in the deeper areas for what could or could not be there - quite frankly it's been tiring and extremely infuriating because I know what's happening and I've actively tried to break out of this cycle - I went for a walk, I did chores and bits here and there and no I cannot break out of this. Anyway what I'm pointing at is I feel something a bit deeper in, yet sometimes whatever it is rolls and it does feel like a lymph node, and other times it just feels like rolls of fat or whatever other unknown tissue. As I know plenty of people here have had their fair share of lymph node stories, has anyone ever felt like this, mistaking normal tissue for a lymph node or whatever?
I've read about people freaking out over lipomas, bone structure and such. One of the more irrational ones was a member who was convinced she had a tumor and it was exactly what I said it was... her hyoid bone!
You really have to look into some real life help and tools to help you break and prevent the extreme self examination behavior. As you posted, you're literally harming yourself with all the poking and prodding and there's no reason whatsoever to be doing it!
Positive thoughts
WiredIncorrectly
17-04-19, 23:44
I once had a ruler down my pants drawing lines from one side of the lymph node to the other to check it was less than 1cm. I checked so much I turned a tiny node into a 2cm swelling for months. My girlfriend walked on once while I had my pants down with a ruler and some black marker on my groin. I have no idea how that woman puts up with my oddities at times.
That was 2 years ago. All is well.
To add ... I don't do those crazy things anymore. You need to focus your mind on something else and force yourself to quit checking. The change happens pretty quickly once you force your mind to forget about it. Next time you have the urge to check, don't. Do some press ups, splash your face with cold water, watch something stupid on Youtube. Once you break the cycle you'll stop checking.
Without help, you will shift your anxieties to another problem that will consume you. Been there. Done that. Still do that sometimes. Lol!
I've read about people freaking out over lipomas, bone structure and such. One of the more irrational ones was a member who was convinced she had a tumor and it was exactly what I said it was... her hyoid bone!
You really have to look into some real life help and tools to help you break and prevent the extreme self examination behavior. As you posted, you're literally harming yourself with all the poking and prodding and there's no reason whatsoever to be doing it!
Positive thoughts
Would be lying if I said I haven't gone through that. I have multiple lipomas (or so I believe they are anyway...), but I'm pretty sure I know which ones are which now. You see I rarely take the self examination to the extreme like this, but i do self examining every.bloody.day though. And I've tried cutting down even by a little bit but I just can't seem to crack it, I have no idea how everyone else does it :(
I once had a ruler down my pants drawing lines from one side of the lymph node to the other to check it was less than 1cm. I checked so much I turned a tiny node into a 2cm swelling for months. My girlfriend walked on once while I had my pants down with a ruler and some black marker on my groin. I have no idea how that woman puts up with my oddities at times.
That was 2 years ago. All is well.
To add ... I don't do those crazy things anymore. You need to focus your mind on something else and force yourself to quit checking. The change happens pretty quickly once you force your mind to forget about it. Next time you have the urge to check, don't. Do some press ups, splash your face with cold water, watch something stupid on Youtube. Once you break the cycle you'll stop checking.
Without help, you will shift your anxieties to another problem that will consume you. Been there. Done that. Still do that sometimes. Lol!
My memory is slightly faded but I wouldn't be surprised if I have done something similar myself. Luckily no partner to freak out LOL! And honestly - I've bloody tried I really have but I'm starting to think I'm a unique case that needs a magical key that doesn't exist to solve this. I barter with my brain every single day but it wins every single time it's unbelievable :( I beg myself to cut down the checking even by one darned degree but I just end up doing it even more!
And speaking of checking, I have at the very least bandaged up my wound for once so it stands SOME chance at healing, but now I have noticed that the lymph node that popped up around in January seems to have matted with the one down the chain it seems?? They definitely move together which is fantastic :sad: Considering I doubt there's a single benign reason to cause lymph nodes to fuse, well my lymphoma fear is coming back full swing. And I don't know where to go or what to do because I know my clinic won't listen to me, the haematologist didn't even see me for a first appointment, and it seems the private ultrasound clinic near me doesn't do soft tissue scans. My lymph nodes have only gotten worse over 5 years and I have not a single explanation as to why and i just can't move on :sad:
WiredIncorrectly
19-04-19, 23:53
It's hard I know. I'm battling demons at the moment. All I can say with certainty is that this phase will pass in time. You on medications or getting any therapy for anxiety?
Ha, yes. I went weeping to my GP last year with a 'swollen lymph node' in my neck which was definitely terminal cancer - except it was a bit of throat cartilage, which had always been there and always will.
WiredIncorrectly, well my phase has been a veeeery long one lol! I've been to multiple therapy sessions no success. I'm on an ssri for my sleep mainly, but I suppose it must be helping the anxiety somewhat as well I just might not be noticing it?
CatLady I do remember throat cartilage freaking me out I must be honest lol that one did pass eventually...unfortunately still in the midst of these lymph nodes now, or lymph nodes that may be matted or maybe just one very weird bean shape one...I just don't know. Still don't know how to approach this and I think that's adding onto the anxiety :(
Still don't know how to approach this and I think that's adding onto the anxiety :(
Perhaps think of it this way. Nodes are part of our anatomy and serve a specific purpose. we have 500-700 of them. Just like we have other glands, arteries, veins, finger nails and thousands of other cells and structures that make up our bodies. They're there for a reason.
Do you worry about your feet? Your eyebrow hair, your left butt cheek? No? Then why worry about your nodes? They have a job to do and we need them in our bodies. I know from experience, they let you know if they need attention and it's obvious. You don't have to constantly ask them by poking and prodding them. I had cancer and it affected the nodes in my neck. The reality is that they saved my life! They sacrificed themselves to save me. Had they not taken on the cancer, it could have spread everywhere. They also told me as well as my medical team there was a problem.
So just like your feet help your walk, your eyebrows help you express yourself and your left but cheek helps fill out a pair of pants, your nodes have a job to do too. Stop messing with them and let them work. I'm sure they'll be happy for some peace and quiet ;)
Positive thoughts
Good post FMP !
I have literally no idea what my lymph nodes feels like, anywhere in my body to be honest lol I've never felt the need to go searching for them and I should imagine that they are pretty tricky to isolate from other bobbly nobbly tissues. That I know I've only had one come up a few times, in a way that was noticeable (painful), to the left of my jaw when I've had an infected impacted wisdom tooth thingy. However, my nodes MUST have 'come up' and come up often, as their job is to fight infections and illnesses, as FMP says they have a very important job to do in filtering out and dealing with nasties. I have some, supposedly lol, lymph nodes under my arm which I am meant to regularly check - I have no idea what is a node and what isn't when I check to be honest, but I KNOW that it feels normal for me and nothing has changed from last check. IF there was anything wrong that was causing a node to swell then you would know, you would know by other symptoms in your body and it would be obvious. You don't need to go frantically prodding, this is what I have been advised, they will swell in a way that is clear and noticeable and questioning what is and isn't a lymph node.
What is this wound you talk of that you have literally opened up ? Do you seriously mean that you are feeling under your skin for nodes????
but now I have noticed that the lymph node that popped up around in January seems to have matted with the one down the chain it seems??
How on earth do you know they are 'fusing'? For all you know it is your constant invasive pressing and prodding which is causing internal scarring and damage. It wouldn't be surprising if it was.
Perhaps think of it this way. Nodes are part of our anatomy and serve a specific purpose. we have 500-700 of them. Just like we have other glands, arteries, veins, finger nails and thousands of other cells and structures that make up our bodies. They're there for a reason.
Do you worry about your feet? Your eyebrow hair, your left butt cheek? No? Then why worry about your nodes? They have a job to do and we need them in our bodies. I know from experience, they let you know if they need attention and it's obvious. You don't have to constantly ask them by poking and prodding them. I had cancer and it affected the nodes in my neck. The reality is that they saved my life! They sacrificed themselves to save me. Had they not taken on the cancer, it could have spread everywhere. They also told me as well as my medical team there was a problem.
So just like your feet help your walk, your eyebrows help you express yourself and your left but cheek helps fill out a pair of pants, your nodes have a job to do too. Stop messing with them and let them work. I'm sure they'll be happy for some peace and quiet ;)
Positive thoughts
one thing I'm really glad about is that a lot of the lymph nodes we have are internal and out of reach - lord knows they would've gone through the routine LOL! Well the thing is aren't my nodes telling me something is wrong if they are systematically enlarged? And when I say enlarged I mean they have gone from me not feeling them at all to being palpable. My head has a very very hard time believing that is possible without something sinister going on. You see I thought it could've been my chronic fatigue - I've been suffering with it for YEARS and apparently you can have lymph nodes pop up everywhere with chronic fatigue syndrome. I was sent to the CFS clinic and they said I have chronic fatigue but not CFS. So apparently not that!! I just want an answer as to why they are up but all I'm hitting is brick walls. And how just HOW am I supposed to think nah this isn't lymphoma when MORE keep popping up? The only thought that sort of holds me back is the CT scan I had of my neck with dye, and nothing showed up, but then what if it is in different nodes...Yes this cycle is driving me mental but as far as I can tell the only way for me to break out is for a specialist to look into this but hey I couldn't even get an assessment! I feel very, very beaten down from all of this I must say :sad: but listen don't get me started on checking my butt cheeks I only have so much time in the day LOL!
Good post FMP !
I have literally no idea what my lymph nodes feels like, anywhere in my body to be honest lol I've never felt the need to go searching for them and I should imagine that they are pretty tricky to isolate from other bobbly nobbly tissues. That I know I've only had one come up a few times, in a way that was noticeable (painful), to the left of my jaw when I've had an infected impacted wisdom tooth thingy. However, my nodes MUST have 'come up' and come up often, as their job is to fight infections and illnesses, as FMP says they have a very important job to do in filtering out and dealing with nasties. I have some, supposedly lol, lymph nodes under my arm which I am meant to regularly check - I have no idea what is a node and what isn't when I check to be honest, but I KNOW that it feels normal for me and nothing has changed from last check. IF there was anything wrong that was causing a node to swell then you would know, you would know by other symptoms in your body and it would be obvious. You don't need to go frantically prodding, this is what I have been advised, they will swell in a way that is clear and noticeable and questioning what is and isn't a lymph node.
What is this wound you talk of that you have literally opened up ? Do you seriously mean that you are feeling under your skin for nodes????
How on earth do you know they are 'fusing'? For all you know it is your constant invasive pressing and prodding which is causing internal scarring and damage. It wouldn't be surprising if it was.
Trust me if I wish I was like you and didn't have the urge to check lol but may i ask why are you supposed to regularly check 'some' nodes though?..And you've pointed out the problem - if something is causing a node to swell you would know. But i still don't know why? AFAIK nodes don't swell because they feel like it so i'm stumped and petrified :( also the fact that some lymphoma subtypes don't have b symptoms or whatever...as in you may have lymphoma and not know about it. Great.
And the wound I've treated now lol but yes I was trying to figure out what was up with what I was feeling so often and so frantically I actually opened up the skin. It's almost done healing now but I'm still very worried as the lymph node that popped up earlier this year now feels different, instead of having the 'standard' ovoid shape it feels like it the next node down the chain stuck to it, like this 4763. And if that isn't a clear signal something is very bad I don't know what is :(
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