Terrified I have MS - Several Panic Attacks in 1 week - Please help

[inogerp]

Hi Everyone,

I actually found out about this community through a Medium article that spoke highly of the extremely supportive users here. I have been desperately wanting to find a community of others who suffer from health anxiety to speak with as I feel like I have no network and am extremely alone.

I wanted to most because last week I randomly got some prickling sensations throughout my body and have had tingling on the bottom of my left foot for several days (off and on) now. I went to my Dr last week after having 4 panic attacks and she did a neurologist exam (not an MRI) and just a general exam and was more convinced my symptoms were emblematic of anxiety, depression and stress (all of what I struggle with) and not MS. I have not been able to shake this thought over the last several days and I know it is straining my relationship with my husband and my friends. I am desperate to find out the truth, but my dr. has not ordered an MRI and I am seeing her next Wednesday as a follow up. I just feel like I am in a deep, dark black hole and can't get out of it. I have had to stay home from work several days, have wanted to just lay in bed and just have had general malaise.

Here are some things that have gone on, positive and negative (+ or -+;
- I noticed that I started feeling all these feelings last Monday after googling it but remembered that I saw an instagram post of a friend from HS who is struggling with MS (this was realized in hindsight and would make complete sense that I am obsessing)
- The symptoms were happening at their worst when I was experiencing panic attacks, extreme depression spells and anxiety
+ I saw my therapist and worked through some stuff regarding this which I think helped a bit
+ There are times where I see the light and don't compare my symptoms to only MS, but see the bigger picture
+ The random body prickling feeling has subsided for the most part, well it is at least a lot less than before
- The feeling in my foot will not go away and I think because I am thinking of it constantly I am making it worse?
- I can't get over thinking I have MS

I am trying hard to listen to my family and friends that know I struggle with health illness anxiety that I am making it worse for myself. But I keep confirming my self diagnosis with information from the internet, which I know I shouldn't do. I am just so paranoid I have MS and that this tingling will not go away.

I am looking forward to hearing from you all and finally finding a community that understand this extremely anxiety producing problem.

Thank you.

LP

[Beachlady]

Welcome, Inogerp. First let me congratulate you for stepping outside your HA to logically examine what triggered this latest round of anxiety. I know it hasn’t quelled the fear, but it’s a necessary step in wresting your dragon to the ground.

A key component of HA is the over-focus and misidentification of ordinary somatic cues, and the belief that you would be absolutely unable to cope with your feared reality. Many HA sufferers don’t go past the “What IF??” fear. So what if you have MS? You'd cope with it-- like my cousin does, whose had MS for YEARS and just continues going about her life.

But you don’t have it. Lucky you. :yesyes:

[inogerp]

Hi Beachlady,

Thank you so much for your reply. Funny you mention that because both with my therapist and my friend we have discovered that I get severe anxiety after try to explore the after “what if” scenario. Which shows how terrified I am of potential issues. I really want to focus on working on this.

That is good to hear and I am glad that your cousin has a normal and fulfilling life with it.

Thank you again :) needed to hear that

[pav1984]

Hi Inogerp,

I have read your post and thought it may help if you heard from someone with MS. The internet is full of stories that can scare you, however the average story, or positive stories don't appear to make it to the first page of google.

I would like to start by saying that I feel that I have been very fortunate. There are people who suffer, however I thought you would benefit by hearing a positive story. My first MS symptom was back in 2004 since then, I have been married, had a child (Or my wife did anyway), adopted my faithful sidekick (A cockerpoo and the brains of the outfit), and live a happy life.

I believe the most common form is relapsing remitting, where you have an issue and then you recover either on its own or by being given steroids.

When I first got told of a possibility of MS, my legs went. I was standing up at the time, and my legs literally buckled. I was frightened because I only had my own very limited knowledge of what it was. Once I did some research, I still felt bad, however I felt a little better.

I recommend that you try and get chatting to some people with MS. I am sure there will be forums somewhere. You may hear some stories that upset you, however my guess is that you will find more stories of people that live perfectly happy lives. I would also email or look at the MS Society website and perhaps email them. I feel that once you understand what MS is from reliable sources, your fear may reduce somewhat.

With regards to your doc not giving you an MRI scan, I would listen to your doc. Even if they find something that makes them suspect MS, In the UK they wont diagnose MS until you have had 2 episodes. Before that second episode, I was diagnosed with CIS (Clinically isolated Syndrome) which my understanding of it is (Possible MS).

I don't know what your views of gambling are, however if you are a gambling person, which outcome would you put your money on? Your doc has examined you and said that your symptoms are anxiety/depression. Anxiety is very common whereas MS isn't that common. I think in the UK 1 in 500 people have it.

I am not sure whether this has helped at all, however in my example, I found the more evidence I gathered, the better I felt.

One final note, I am not a doctor and what I have said above is just my understanding and may not be accurate.

[Beachlady]

Good for you, Inogerp. Allowing yourself to live with the anxiety is a good first step. And if you read the response below of a someone who has MS, that might assist you as well.

[elitejcx]

There’s plenty of conditions that mimic MS. My father was treated as if he had MS, he had all the symptoms such as loss of eye sight, speech problems and lack of mobility. Long story short, after doctors ruled out MS, Lyme’s disease and numerous other conditions, a chance appointment with a doctor found out that it was caused by a form of arthritis called spondylitis.

So even if you do suspect something like MS is causing you problems, there’s a lot of conditions out there that are easily treatable that have similar symptoms.

[inogerp]

Hello Pav,

Wow I greatly appreciate you sharing your story. Perhaps because my HA spurs from fear and lack of control, it could help hearing these normalized stories about people with issues that they continue to live and thrive with. So thank you for sharing.

I agree with you, that other things such as anxiety and my dr. not suspecting MS is way more common than MS. Of course I always think the "but what if.." scenario of it. I am stuck on this cycle of panic and anxiety thinking. It sounds that your symptoms were quite obvious? I understand that others can be subtle, but my understanding if something was really wrong perhaps it would make itself more obvious than subtle pin pricks and foot tightness. That being said, of course I convince myself either way. I have noticed that when the stress is low, the symptoms do not seem to happen. Additionally, on the internet I saw someone I knew from High School become diagnosed with MS after a couple severe tingling and numbness episodes. Funny thing is, I saw this post the day I started having symptoms. My family keeps telling me that is why I have internalized it, because it would be quite coincidental if not.

I agree about the gathering evidence, but I fear I err too far on the side of having something serious. Thank you again.

[inogerp]

There’s plenty of conditions that mimic MS. My father was treated as if he had MS, he had all the symptoms such as loss of eye sight, speech problems and lack of mobility. Long story short, after doctors ruled out MS, Lyme’s disease and numerous other conditions, a chance appointment with a doctor found out that it was caused by a form of arthritis called spondylitis.

So even if you do suspect something like MS is causing you problems, there’s a lot of conditions out there that are easily treatable that have similar symptoms.

Wow elitejcx, thank you for the shift in perspective here. I need to believe it can be a lot of other things.

[pav1984]

Hello Pav,

Wow I greatly appreciate you sharing your story. Perhaps because my HA spurs from fear and lack of control, it could help hearing these normalized stories about people with issues that they continue to live and thrive with. So thank you for sharing.

I agree with you, that other things such as anxiety and my dr. not suspecting MS is way more common than MS. Of course I always think the "but what if.." scenario of it. I am stuck on this cycle of panic and anxiety thinking. It sounds that your symptoms were quite obvious? I understand that others can be subtle, but my understanding if something was really wrong perhaps it would make itself more obvious than subtle pin pricks and foot tightness. That being said, of course I convince myself either way. I have noticed that when the stress is low, the symptoms do not seem to happen. Additionally, on the internet I saw someone I knew from High School become diagnosed with MS after a couple severe tingling and numbness episodes. Funny thing is, I saw this post the day I started having symptoms. My family keeps telling me that is why I have internalized it, because it would be quite coincidental if not.

I agree about the gathering evidence, but I fear I err too far on the side of having something serious. Thank you again.

Hi Inogerp.

My first symptom was double vision. It lasted about 8 weeks. This was constant for 8 weeks ish please dont start panicing every time your eyes go funny when they re adjust (i have worried about this myself in the past and wanted to nip that one in the bud). Once i was diagnosed i noticed all sorts of sensations such as tingling etc. This wasnt the ms just my head playing games. A relapse of ms you would know about. You can get symptoms such as tingling however my guess would be that those tingling sensations go when you are doing something that takes your mind off it?

Yes it is a serious condition but uncommon and most people you meet or hear about live perfectly happy live even if they have to make adjustments.

Besides that there are drugs out there now that help reduce the flare ups.

I am a chronic health worrier but ironically i dont seem to panic about ms. I read somewhere that people waste literally years worrying and not living in the now. Such a waste. I am trying (not always successfully) to enjoy today rather than panic about tomorrow.

If you are worried why not ask your doctor why they have ruled out ms? Hopefully they can provide you with an explanation that will convince you.

I hope you get over your worry and that everything is ok. We all know how horrible worry is.

[DonnaT]

I wanted to reply to you, my sister has MS she is 37 she was diagnosed when she was 35, I haven’t told you this to frighten you. I want to explain why I’ve told you this. my sister started having symptoms at a young age and we thought she was just extremely clumsy, looking back now these symptoms were very obvious but very child like which everyone thought. As she grew up she had EXTREME symptoms( I’m not going to tell you what they are) but they never went away and they WERE BAD and not just in one or two places on her body that’s when she first started to attend the gp and having investigations she has attended the hospital since she was about seventeen. She also had trouble with her eyesight which was EXTREME. All of her symptoms have been really prominent ALL THE TIME and every day she has a constant symptom that has stayed with her for years. This isn’t meant to tighten you it’s to show you the difference, I’ve had lots of insane problems because of anxiety and trust me when I say it can do some horrible horrible stuff to you, last week I felt awful to the point I thought I might need to go to the hospital, I had heart palpitations none stop and now they’ve stopped. I went to A&E one time because I kept being extremely light headed ANXIETY and it gradually went away.
I want to tell you that my sister is doing amazing, you wouldn’t have a clue when you see her she works full time, she Has a little girl, she drives, she rides a horse everyday. She has to take care of herself obviously but she is living a incredible full life and if which I’m sure you won’t get diagnosed there are some incredible steps forward in the treatments which are doing amazing but please try not to worry.