Soda
29-04-19, 21:24
Hello all!
I've been gone for a long time but lately my anxiety and OCD have been eating at me. I don't want to break up with my boyfriend of over a year but I can't stop obsessing about his past. I can't stop projecting my own pain into his sexual past. By this I mean, I was sexually coerced when I was a teenager. When I met my boyfriend he told me a story of how he was caught with a girl in his school on school grounds doing sexual things. Because of what happened to me, I have always questions the consent of this. He walked me through the whole thing and explained to me that it was all consensual but, it still worries me that I will fall deeper in love with him and I will find out something terrible about him. I don't want to believe this, the whole time I've known him he has been a nice man to me. But, I'm scared one day someone will tell me he did something wrong in his past before he met me, and I will be forced to think of him morally wrong.
It haunts me over and over and over that I think of these things about him when I'm at the same time planning the rest of my life with him.
I've been gone for a long time but lately my anxiety and OCD have been eating at me. I don't want to break up with my boyfriend of over a year but I can't stop obsessing about his past. I can't stop projecting my own pain into his sexual past. By this I mean, I was sexually coerced when I was a teenager. When I met my boyfriend he told me a story of how he was caught with a girl in his school on school grounds doing sexual things. Because of what happened to me, I have always questions the consent of this. He walked me through the whole thing and explained to me that it was all consensual but, it still worries me that I will fall deeper in love with him and I will find out something terrible about him. I don't want to believe this, the whole time I've known him he has been a nice man to me. But, I'm scared one day someone will tell me he did something wrong in his past before he met me, and I will be forced to think of him morally wrong.
It haunts me over and over and over that I think of these things about him when I'm at the same time planning the rest of my life with him.