View Full Version : Clueless
So I was sitting by myself during tea break at work. I saw a nice-looking female staff member on one of the other tables. She looked towards me many times and sometimes maintained eye contact, so did I. Then her break was over, she stood up and started to leave. My break time was over as well. As I stood up she looked towards me. I looked away and walked back to work.
What would a “normal” person do in such a situation?
No such thing as normal, but if you want to know her better, smiling and/or saying hello would be a good start.
Ah, such encounters are 'normal', sounds like you both were a bit shy thats all. Next time you see her on her break, or even passing in the workplace, just say 'Hi again'. Smile and say Hi. Or if you are opposite each other at the table, ask something that is 'small talk' like 'cold in here isn't it?', 'we are on the same break again....' or something weather related, or something to do with your environment, something obvious around you.....'Hiyer, that door is really squeaky isn't it lol'. Or even offer her a seat if you are there first......anything to break the ice. AS Blue I said, 'no such thing as normal' everyone is different and all relationships follow different paths.
She looked towards me many times and sometimes maintained eye contact, so did I.
Oooooo that sounds really romantic, kind of promising......eeeekkkkk...
I feel if I walked towards her and said something, I’d scare her and she’ll rush away. Happened in past 😳.
So, just wave or call a hello and let her approach you.
Yeah, ok - get it, then don't be full-on, just smile and say Hi as you go in the room, or as she comes in the room(or a wave as BI says).....you don't need to walk towards her or 'make a move' or start launching into deep philosophy lol. Then carry on with your lunch if she just says 'HI' back and nothing more. Then maybe next time it could more than Hi. Maybe she will then come forward with a word or sentence herself and you can do some small talk? I don't think you need to take it all on yourself to innitate everything in every encounter, just give her the opportunity and see if she takes it.Its two colleagues on a tea-break, a few polite words and a bit of chat that builds over time shouldn't be scary to her.
Thank you both. It would be more doable for me to smile and say hi. Although I do get a bit nervous when I smile at someone: I think I’m making them feel awkward and I quickly look away after smiling without thinking. I guess I’ll have to challenge my negative thoughts as well.
She looked towards me many times and sometimes maintained eye contact, so did I.
So, when this happened, above.....what did her face do and your face do ? I mean clearly you are reading her 'signals' as interested in making contact with you, but did you smile then, or did she smile?
A quick smile is fine (by the way, smiling doesn't make people feel awkward, its the BIGGEST social interaction ice breaker and pleasantry you can use, it makes people happy etc etc)
I feel slightly nervous and looked away.
ok, so you didn't smile, did she ?
Ok, but you felt it was someone 'catching your eye' in the hope of conversation starting?
I think, start with smiling.......see how she responds.
Will try smiling next time.
Yep, do that, and let us know how you do - and how she responds to you. If she smiles back (even if she smiles back and looks down or away straight away) then thats a good sign. :)
Smiling is a massive social cue, it practically has superpowers and so many psychologists have written so many papers and pieces of research on it. It makes people feel good, the 'giver' and 'receiver' it can mean 'I am friendly' in the situation you are describing here. It can mean 'Hi' without saying a word :o)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.