my new job

[animeman]

I'd first like to say I'm new these forums but I was looking up on nervous breakdowns and after one or twio links it lead me here. so I figured I'd tell my story and see if I can get some advise

I've recently starteda new job after being unemployed for the better part of two years its with a place I've worked with before on a part time basis so I decided to try my hand at full time factory work.

the problem started on monday of this week. I was tired of the eight shifts and decided to slide(I was planning on making official at the end of the week) out early. one of the supervisors caught me out and made me stay the extra four hours which I spent very annoyed and frustrated my daring escape plan had failed so much so I actually started crying half an hour before my shift finished and had to explain to them I was upset becuase I was being made to stay longer and that I wasn't used to the hours and that I'm just generally a lazy person.

I was made to work another eight hours yesterday which I did still rather frustrated and depressed I had to stay till ten.and when I got home I had some tea but was still starving but oddily not particularly wanting to eat. and I spent the whole night restless with shakey arms and legs and basically crawling up the wall trying to decided what to do the next day.

I think its becuase I spent most of the day doing lifting work my body can't seem to unwind to let me sleep and that coupled with the fact I really don't want to be staying after six is driving me crazy.

I spoke to my supervisor and asked to put me onto part time hours which she basically refused to do. she knows me from the last time I worked and I had to face all sorts of questions and felt like I need a really good excuse when it basically boils down to me just wanting a little time to relax after work so I can sleep.

I'm also an aspergers so not getting my own way is kindof stressful for me.

at the moment its crunch time if I go in to work this afternoon which is driving me up the wall I have to sign off my jobseekers allowance and if I don't I face lectures galore from my parents and even more from our neighbour and close friend. I don't know whether I should carry on has I am and wait to see if I adapt or just call it quits and wait for something better to come along.

right now I'm leaning heavily towards the latter

[nanny]

Hi There:)

Is it any wonder you are feeling this way?
After being out of work for almost 2 years it's not only the physical side of things you have to get used too but the emotional upheavel you will no doubt be going through.

You have done the right thing in speaking to someone and asking if you can cut this down to part time hours, did you explain the anxiety issue along with the other stuff you talked about? if so then they don't seem very understanding. Perhaps when you were offered the job you should have stated that you would like to wean yourself back in slowly after having been out of work so long. Is there perhaps someone other than the person you spoke too that would be a bit more understanding.

I know how you feel, i left a job after 8 years through stress and anxiety etc and haven't been able to settle in any job, i just feel i don't belong anywhere. I have now been out of work for a year and i have just seen someone who suggested trying 15 hours a week to start with and that way you keep your benefit (all depending on what benefit you are getting).

I think the longer you are out of work the harder it is to feel like you fit in, especially if you suffer like us.

Does it really matter what the neighbours think? do your parents understand your illness, if so can't you sit down and explain how you feel to them?

I don't think any job is worth making yourself ill for. (i say that with the experience of my 8 year employment)

Think of yourself, if you really do feel like you can't work like that then go and talk to the person concerned and explain that unless you can lower your work hours then perhaps this isn't the job for you.

I wish you luck

[animeman]

I wasn't really sure how to word it so I just said I wasn't used to the hours I figured I should keep the crying part to myself. basically we spent about twenty minutes arguing and I was eventually told to try it for a few weeks and if I still wanted to change I would be allowed to. the problem is I'm not sure ifI can hold on for a few weeks. I feel like I just want to get out of there asap but at the same time I don't want to quit so quickly(its only my fourth day) if I last till friday I'll have done my first fortyhour week in ages

[nanny]

If you'd like to sit down and talk to the person concerned again then have a think about how to word it, You have done well up to now by just staying there and not walking out espcially the way you are feeling so good on you for that.

If you feel you can do it, then finish the week out and see how you feel then, have a good think over the weekend and go with your instincts. Don't be afraid to cry in front of anyone, we all do it and it's nothing to be ashamed about:)