fidgetninja
09-05-19, 17:54
*trigger warning - advanced cancer discussion*
Back at it again unfortunately. Over the course of the winter I've had a minor cough. On April 13th I was diagnoses with strep throat (fever, etc.), and shortly after developed a severe cough that kept me up at night. I was already on the antibiotics for strep, and they didn't seem to help the cough. It's been almost a month and the cough has improved but still not gone completely. It's a tickling type of cough. At the same time, I've had shoulder blade, shoulder, and back pain on the left side. I have had this pain before but this time it's causing arm pain as well, and stabbing pain in my shoulder which I have never had. It hurts under my armpit on that side, on the ribs. I have left rib pain but I've had this for a few years. I have had some fleeting, radiating chest pain. My voice has been raspy from time to time.
Because apparently I have no self control, I of course hopped on Google and searched for lingering cough and back and shoulder pain and fell directly into probably the deepest healthy anxiety hole I've ever been in. After reading that lung cancer can manifest as back and shoulder pain as the ONLY symptom (or even worse, you can have it with NO systems), and by the time it hurts in your bones it has spread.
I am trying to apply logic. I really am. I have terrible posture. I am about 40 lbs overweight. I have a large chest. I am left handed and it's my left side that hurts. I have a toddler that I sometimes pick up on my left side. I am on an ace inhibitor which can sometimes cause a cough. I have GERD, which can cause a cough and raspy voice. I am not coughing up blood. Despite all of this, I just cannot shake this fear. I smoked probably fifteen years ago, for four years, and quit, and I also graduated university with someone (a woman of the same age) who was a non smoker and passed away from lung cancer a few years ago. I can't stop spiraling and am on the verge of tears, thinking about dying and leaving my toddler. I don't know what to do. Literally Monday I start a new job and am moving from Canada to the US. It will be at least a month before I get to see a doctor. If you're still reading, I'm looking for anything that can maybe snap me out of it. I am on Effexor, but a very low dose, and have been on a waitlist for months for a therapist. In the States I should find one relatively easier and I plan too. Thank you.
Back at it again unfortunately. Over the course of the winter I've had a minor cough. On April 13th I was diagnoses with strep throat (fever, etc.), and shortly after developed a severe cough that kept me up at night. I was already on the antibiotics for strep, and they didn't seem to help the cough. It's been almost a month and the cough has improved but still not gone completely. It's a tickling type of cough. At the same time, I've had shoulder blade, shoulder, and back pain on the left side. I have had this pain before but this time it's causing arm pain as well, and stabbing pain in my shoulder which I have never had. It hurts under my armpit on that side, on the ribs. I have left rib pain but I've had this for a few years. I have had some fleeting, radiating chest pain. My voice has been raspy from time to time.
Because apparently I have no self control, I of course hopped on Google and searched for lingering cough and back and shoulder pain and fell directly into probably the deepest healthy anxiety hole I've ever been in. After reading that lung cancer can manifest as back and shoulder pain as the ONLY symptom (or even worse, you can have it with NO systems), and by the time it hurts in your bones it has spread.
I am trying to apply logic. I really am. I have terrible posture. I am about 40 lbs overweight. I have a large chest. I am left handed and it's my left side that hurts. I have a toddler that I sometimes pick up on my left side. I am on an ace inhibitor which can sometimes cause a cough. I have GERD, which can cause a cough and raspy voice. I am not coughing up blood. Despite all of this, I just cannot shake this fear. I smoked probably fifteen years ago, for four years, and quit, and I also graduated university with someone (a woman of the same age) who was a non smoker and passed away from lung cancer a few years ago. I can't stop spiraling and am on the verge of tears, thinking about dying and leaving my toddler. I don't know what to do. Literally Monday I start a new job and am moving from Canada to the US. It will be at least a month before I get to see a doctor. If you're still reading, I'm looking for anything that can maybe snap me out of it. I am on Effexor, but a very low dose, and have been on a waitlist for months for a therapist. In the States I should find one relatively easier and I plan too. Thank you.