View Full Version : I’m finally getting married!
Midnight-mouse
18-05-19, 09:49
After many years together my partner and I are getting married, we decided to plan it short term so that I can stay busy and not build it up in my head to the point where I won’t be able to go.
We’ve got pretty much everything booked and I’m super proud that I managed to go dress shopping and find the one! I’m booked for the fitting next week and that has me a little anxious because I have to be there at a particular time and stay there for the hour or so. I’m definitely worried anxiety will try and make it difficult- I don’t deal well with people touching me as well so that’s going to be a challenge.
I’m definitely worried that the day will be overshadowed by anxiety but I’m still looking forward to it. We’re having a very small ceremony with only 7 other people and just a light lunch afterwards, I haven’t worked out if I’ll be able to eat or not but that will probably come down to how brave I feel on the day.
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Ohhh, congratulations!
Good plan on the small-scale wedding. My husband and I went from proposal to hitched in about 2 months, so there wasn't time for me to get too stressed.
Midnight-mouse
18-05-19, 10:16
Ohhh, congratulations!
Good plan on the small-scale wedding. My husband and I went from proposal to hitched in about 2 months, so there wasn't time for me to get too stressed.
Thank you! We’ve been engaged for 6 years now and decided after me standing up as a ‘best woman’ for my closest friend it was time that we sorted out our own wedding!
I’m a little worried, especially about the fitting but I think I can manage it. I just hate having to plan around the anxiety on a day that I just want to enjoy.
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WiredIncorrectly
18-05-19, 12:01
Congratulations that's awesome. I'm not sure I could manage wedding planning. Best to leave the women to that they seem to know what they're doing. You should tell the anxiety to go shove off for a bit :p
Midnight-mouse
18-05-19, 12:50
Congratulations that's awesome. I'm not sure I could manage wedding planning. Best to leave the women to that they seem to know what they're doing. You should tell the anxiety to go shove off for a bit :p
Thank you! :) I would love for it to shove off that’s for sure!
I’m actually enjoying planning the wedding but it’s driving my mum mad! She’s got her self so stressed over it, I think I see where I got some of my predisposition towards anxiety from that’s for sure!
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How lovely ! I can feel your excitement coming through your post. FAbulous to have something so positive and exciting to plan for.......
As for the fitting, I think you WILL do it, nothing like a nice wedding dress to take your mind off people getting too close.
Midnight-mouse
18-05-19, 18:30
As for the fitting, I think you WILL do it, nothing like a nice wedding dress to take your mind off people getting too close.
I’ll definitely have to do it, I just keep reminding myself it’s only one hour to get me to the goal of something I am truly excited for, I just wish I could skip over some parts of this! Either that or turn off the anxiety for it.
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Many congrats from me too! How lovely to be able to plan the wedding that you want!
The fitting will be a means to an end-the beautiful dress that you have chosen and want! xx
Midnight-mouse
18-05-19, 22:29
Many congrats from me too! How lovely to be able to plan the wedding that you want!
The fitting will be a means to an end-the beautiful dress that you have chosen and want! xx
Thank you Pulisa! I have some reservations about being able to manage the day and enjoy it the way I want to as I don’t often spend long out of the house but I’m truly so happy to be getting married I’m determined I’ll make it work.
The fitting is the next big hurdle, after I find shoes! I’m really not the type of woman that dresses up or wears feminine clothing so it’s all completely alien to me!
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MyNameIsTerry
19-05-19, 02:09
Congratulatons Mouse. :yesyes:
You will get through the fitting. It's anticipatory anxiety and once you are there you will feel the exposure at first and pass through it. Just do some things in your head or even woth your hands to refocus yourself and keep grounded and you will deal with it.
Good news is always appreciated on here!
Midnight-mouse
19-05-19, 09:18
Congratulatons Mouse. :yesyes:
You will get through the fitting. It's anticipatory anxiety and once you are there you will feel the exposure at first and pass through it. Just do some things in your head or even woth your hands to refocus yourself and keep grounded and you will deal with it.
Good news is always appreciated on here!
Thank you Terry!
I’ll be trying my best to ground myself, it’s just one of those times I wish I was completely free off this condition but I know I have done much more challenging things. Thank you for the reminder of grounding myself, I’ll be sure to use my techniques and keep a hold on it. If I panic it’s not the worst thing that can happen, it will pass after all!
On the good news front I have also found out that I won my mandatory reconsideration case against the DWP at the paper stage as opposed to having to take it to tribunal! So that’s also a load off!
Hope you’re well?
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LouiseAndy
19-05-19, 20:22
Congratulations!
Just a little note on the fitting- When my sister got married and I had to get fitted for my bridesmaid dress....I was sick at the idea of the appointment! The only comfort I can offer is the mainly work with the extra material rather then skin to skin (that sounds creepy I know! I wasn't how to word it better)! If you're that uncomfortable maybe mention it to them! I hope it all goes well :flowers:
Midnight-mouse
19-05-19, 21:15
Congratulations!
Just a little note on the fitting- When my sister got married and I had to get fitted for my bridesmaid dress....I was sick at the idea of the appointment! The only comfort I can offer is the mainly work with the extra material rather then skin to skin (that sounds creepy I know! I wasn't how to word it better)! If you're that uncomfortable maybe mention it to them! I hope it all goes well :flowers:
Thank you! I think I’m coming to terms with it slowly, Just keeping the end goal in mind!
I’m hoping that it’s just the anticipation of it all.
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WiseMonkey
19-05-19, 22:04
Congratulations to you, it's great to hear happy news on here. What an exciting time for you and Summer is a good time to get married. Once everything is all organised it will become less stressful. Do keep us informed as to how things are going.
The six year mark seems to be a lucky number, my partner and I got engaged 6 years after meeting but we have no wedding plans at present, maybe in another 6 years lol. We are older so it's less important :)
MyNameIsTerry
24-05-19, 05:51
Thank you Terry!
I’ll be trying my best to ground myself, it’s just one of those times I wish I was completely free off this condition but I know I have done much more challenging things. Thank you for the reminder of grounding myself, I’ll be sure to use my techniques and keep a hold on it. If I panic it’s not the worst thing that can happen, it will pass after all!
On the good news front I have also found out that I won my mandatory reconsideration case against the DWP at the paper stage as opposed to having to take it to tribunal! So that’s also a load off!
Hope you’re well?
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Yes, I'm well thanks Mouse.
Great news on giving the DWP a :buttkick: too. I think they just try to take everyone off hoping they won't challenge it!
Midnight-mouse
24-05-19, 17:06
Yes, I'm well thanks Mouse.
Great news on giving the DWP a :buttkick: too. I think they just try to take everyone off hoping they won't challenge it!
They do! They just seem to take advantage of those that are ill and make us doubt our legitimacy. I’m not going to take it sitting down though!
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Midnight-mouse
24-05-19, 17:10
Dress is fitted! https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190524/e44676e23db1cd5d9a4eca55264dfe42.jpg excuse the face cropping out [emoji23]
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MyNameIsTerry
25-05-19, 13:40
That's a beautiful dress, Mouse! :yesyes: Looks elegant but modern/simple too and very feminine.
You look great too!
Midnight-mouse
25-05-19, 13:45
That's a beautiful dress, Mouse! :yesyes: Looks elegant but modern/simple too and very feminine.
You look great too!
Thank you! I had to take a couple of breaks and had a small panic attack during the fitting but I’m just glad that it’s all pinned up now!
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It's a gorgeous dress, and you look wonderful in it.
MyNameIsTerry
25-05-19, 14:58
I bet they are used to a mixture of excited brides and overwhelmed ones. Don't worry about what happened and anyway, you pushed on through it! :yesyes:
This is a lovely thread to see on here about some positive stuff. The same with Jojo's crow thread. Carnations ongoing thread fight is another one where people are trying to see the positivity in the endless slog of anxiety.
Oh that dress looks good on you, wow! Congratulations [emoji7]
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A beautiful dress and a beautiful fit! How stunning you will look on your Big Day!
Many congratulations!
Midnight-mouse
26-05-19, 09:50
It's a gorgeous dress, and you look wonderful in it.
Oh that dress looks good on you, wow! Congratulations [emoji7] Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
A beautiful dress and a beautiful fit! How stunning you will look on your Big Day!
Many congratulations!
Thank you all so much! I’m far from a ‘feminine’ person usually so this is all very far out of my comfort zone! I’m hoping that I can feel good and confident in the dress on the day. I’ve also lost a considerable amount of weight (due to anxiety but I’m keeping it off!) so it was very odd to be able to see my self in a dress like this.
I bet they are used to a mixture of excited brides and overwhelmed ones. Don't worry about what happened and anyway, you pushed on through it! :yesyes:
This is a lovely thread to see on here about some positive stuff. The same with Jojo's crow thread. Carnations ongoing thread fight is another one where people are trying to see the positivity in the endless slog of anxiety.
The lady that fitted me said I was far from the worst, she’s had people have to lie and recover in the shop all day and someone throw up on her! Which as an emetophobe probably wasn’t the best story to tell me but I am glad that I got through it!
I’m proud to be doing as many positive things as possible with my life, I’ve even started being creative again which is very good for the soul.
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Huge congratulations I'm so happy for you! Your dress is just stunning, so very pretty!
You're dress is just lovely x! Congratulations :flowers:
Midnight-mouse
10-06-19, 09:07
Two days to go and it’s safe to say the nerves have kicked in! I’m very excited and I think that’s the reason I’m feeling anxious, they are similar processes in the body I believe?
I know this is what I want but I’m definitely feeling like I just want it all over now, the anticipatory anxiety is very high I think. I’ve been meditating and using my grounding techniques and they do help greatly in the moment but I’m getting a lot of extra little surges of anxiety in between.
Roll on Wednesday!
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The build up is the worst bit by far. On Wednesday you will go with the flow and all will be well. You will look beautiful and you will both have a day to cherish forever with your special guests in your chosen environment where you will feel safe and loved.
Wednesday is a special day for me too so nothing can go wrong! It never does on your Wedding Day!
I wish you both happiness on your Very Special Day xx
Congrats! Have a lovely, memorable and special day :D
Hope you have a wonderful day - you deserve it!
Wishing you a brilliantly happy day on Wednesday. Looking forward to hearing about it x
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Midnight-mouse
10-06-19, 18:18
The build up is the worst bit by far. On Wednesday you will go with the flow and all will be well. You will look beautiful and you will both have a day to cherish forever with your special guests in your chosen environment where you will feel safe and loved.
Wednesday is a special day for me too so nothing can go wrong! It never does on your Wedding Day!
I wish you both happiness on your Very Special Day xx
Wishing you all the best Pulisa I'm firm in the belief that we carve our own paths and I'm certain that we will both have a fine day regardless of the cards we have been dealt!
Congrats! Have a lovely, memorable and special day :D
Hope you have a wonderful day - you deserve it!
Wishing you a brilliantly happy day on Wednesday. Looking forward to hearing about it x
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Cheers KK I'm sure it will be memorable, I'm just really hoping that it will be for all the right reasons!
Blue and Scass, Thank you so much I'll be sure to come back here after it's all done and let you all know how it went. I'm actually having a really positive day and I'm determined it's going to continue!
Mouse
MyNameIsTerry
11-06-19, 14:28
Good luck for Wednesday, Mouse! :yesyes:
Sitting about worrying is where anticipatory anxiety wins but as you are able to take action you push on through it and I'm sure you will. And in any case you have a supportive partner there, also likely worried as it's just the nature of the event, to hold your hand.
...One of my favourite memories of my own wedding day is linked in with my anxiety and my supportive partner, actually.
Part of my dress was a tightlaced corset, and while I'm not in the least bit emetophobic I didn't particularly fancy throwing up while my movement was restricted. I've been known to vomit when in the grip of anxiety, so I left putting it on until the absolute last minute.
Of course, the inevitable happened, and I found myself in the bathroom puking whilst laced into a steel-boned cage. Not a word was said, and then this hand appeared around the door holding a bottle of water.
I'd known for a long time that he was a keeper, but that just cemented it.
MyNameIsTerry
11-06-19, 14:44
...One of my favourite memories of my own wedding day is linked in with my anxiety and my supportive partner, actually.
Part of my dress was a tightlaced corset, and while I'm not in the least bit emetophobic I didn't particularly fancy throwing up while my movement was restricted. I've been known to vomit when in the grip of anxiety, so I left putting it on until the absolute last minute.
Of course, the inevitable happened, and I found myself in the bathroom puking whilst laced into a steel-boned cage. Not a word was said, and then this hand appeared around the door holding a bottle of water.
I'd known for a long time that he was a keeper, but that just cemented it.
:yesyes: to the water bottle. Glad it became a happy memory. To be honest such tight clothing can be a pain with anxiety as you start worrying about breathing straight away and nausea. Like being in a hot enclosed environment feeling that sudden need to escape.
I'm better so many brides (and grooms) have had so many nerves during those ceremonies that priests, vicars, etc are very used to it. They are used to more emotion from the funerals they perform anyway.
Was the other hand holding your hair back though? I think it's what we blokes consider "romantic" :winks:
Already had my fancy up-do in place ;)
Midnight-mouse
12-06-19, 07:21
Good luck for Wednesday, Mouse! :yesyes:
Sitting about worrying is where anticipatory anxiety wins but as you are able to take action you push on through it and I'm sure you will. And in any case you have a supportive partner there, also likely worried as it's just the nature of the event, to hold your hand.
Thank you! The morning is finally here and even though I’m running on two nights rubbish sleep I actually feel really quite good, even before my propranolol this morning! Mr Midnight is cool as a cucumber! Hasn’t had a single chilly toe let alone cold feet! He’s such a help to me. We’re going into all this together today so I know I’ll be just fine.
...One of my favourite memories of my own wedding day is linked in with my anxiety and my supportive partner, actually.
Part of my dress was a tightlaced corset, and while I'm not in the least bit emetophobic I didn't particularly fancy throwing up while my movement was restricted. I've been known to vomit when in the grip of anxiety, so I left putting it on until the absolute last minute.
Of course, the inevitable happened, and I found myself in the bathroom puking whilst laced into a steel-boned cage. Not a word was said, and then this hand appeared around the door holding a bottle of water.
I'd known for a long time that he was a keeper, but that just cemented it.
My absolute worst fear as an emetophobe! But your husband was so brilliant, bless! Definitely a keeper, I’ll be cheating a little and taking an antiemetic this morning that I usually reserve for only the worst panic attacks because I truthfully just want to enjoy this day without my phobia playing on my mind the entire time.
Already had my fancy up-do in place ;)
If there’s ever a benefit to fancy hair ;)
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The day is here and married life awaits!
Have a wonderful day!! It sounds as though it's going to be a Day to beat all days and one which you will always remember in the decades ahead for all the right reasons!
Wishing you both a wonderful Wedding Day! xx
Best of luck to both of you - have a wonderful time!
Midnight-mouse
12-06-19, 17:03
The day is here and married life awaits!
Have a wonderful day!! It sounds as though it's going to be a Day to beat all days and one which you will always remember in the decades ahead for all the right reasons!
Wishing you both a wonderful Wedding Day! xx
Best of luck to both of you - have a wonderful time!
Thank you both! We are officially married and back home now! We had a wonderful day and I only had one very small wobble that I managed to just ignore and that was right near the end of all the days fun.
I’m so happy I made it through with the anxiety never taking up more than a passing thought.
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Midnight-mouse
12-06-19, 17:04
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190612/ade2c82e3eb055d50cd5ab621fd532ec.jpg
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I'm so happy for you! Sending huge hugs to you and Mr. Midnight.
MyNameIsTerry
12-06-19, 17:10
Great news, Mouse! http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/wedding/t5525.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-wedding.php?page=3)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/wedding/t5519.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-wedding.php?page=2)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/wedding/t5524.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-wedding.php?page=2)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/wedding/t5502.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-wedding.php)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/wedding/t5509.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-wedding.php)http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/wedding/t5501.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/t-wedding.php)
Glad you had a good day too. A slight wobble might be quite normal for anyone but to have the rest of the time concentrated on the day is excellent. More proof you can do things you might think you can't as well as happy memories.
Love the rings. Silver/silver colouring is much nicer than traditional gold, I think. More modern but more stylish too. Although I do like rose gold but again it's even better in combination.
Yay! Beautiful ring & picture. Many congratulations
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Many congratulations and my very best wishes for a truly happy life together.:cupid:
WiseMonkey
14-06-19, 02:51
Congratulations on your marriage, may all your years together be happy ones :)
A bit too late from me as I was away for a while, but Congratulations 😍❤❤ I am sure you will make a gorgeous bride.
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