View Full Version : going away...really scared
Hi,
whilst I write on my thread that I am doing well...and I am...I am having horrible feelings.
My anx has not been very bad for ages but recently it seems to be raising it's ugly head again.
I am going away for the weekend with hubby and girls and I know how bad this sounds but the thought of being in an enclosed space for a whole weekend with the three of them is turning my tummy upside down. I am scared that I will get all angry again, I am scared I will spoil their weekend for them, I am scared the car will crash with us all in it.
I was supposed to be going away with my mum but I didn't go ahead with the booking as I convinced myself I would die if I did. Now it has just transferred to me AND the family dying. It didn't help that I heard about a fatal crash on one of the roads we are to be travelling on and I had to drive through a really bad crash just round the corner from where I live.
I know all the stuff about 'feel the fear and do it anyway' but I just hate having this bad feeling in my stomach. Every time I try to get stuff ready I am having to run to the loo. (TMI:blush: )
I know it won't kill me, I know I have to get over it and there is more chance that I will be ok etc etc. I think I am just more upset at the re occurence of the anx symptoms.
Also, my hubby has more or less forbabde me to tell the girls.....he said it is so they don't get hyped but I know it is because he doesn't believe we will make it, that I will spoil it somehow. He has a point as I do feel like bailing out.
I have to also try not to drink......no way can I do that! Spending a night, sober, in a crowded club with millions of kids and their parents whilst a big bloody furry bear dances around, is my idea of hell. Without a few beers I will collapse in a heap on the ground begging to be taken away!
I know I am going on. Sorry.:blush:
I just feel peed off that this is coming back and I am not sure why. It isn't just this weekend, it is loads of things that I used to feel anx about but stopped being anx and now I am back to being anx again.
like
being alone with the kids in the house at night
my hubby going out for a drink
going to the school playground
being in unfamiliar company
thinking that people are talking about me, even people I know and usually think a lot of.
thinking that people hate me, that I am a bore, I am common as muck, that I talk too much, that I look odd.
I even got it into my head today that the therapist was angry with me!!! I couldn't ask for reassurance as how crazy would that sound?
Sorry. Even now I am at my mums and I feel really worked up about getting in the car to drive home as I feel certain that we will crash. (I, underneath the fear, know we won't, but it doesn't really help:wacko: )
ok....shut up now happyone (I have to shut my tummy up too it is gurgling like mad)
I so know those thoughts!! Hugs and hugs. I try to now break journeys and weekends down to managable bits in my head, e.g. well I will be ok to the end of the journey to get there and then I will think about the place we are staying, then once over that hurdle I will then move onto thinking about eating my dinner etc.... I can't cope thinking of everything at once it sends my head into a fuzz.
On a positive note - if you get the worrying and stress done now - you might be just hunkydory at the weekend!:D
Remember it is just one weekend and it probably won't be perfect ( because things aren't even when 100% fighting fit!) but that does not matter and we'll be hear to chat about it all when you get back and pat you on the back for being brave xxxx
Thanks sam:hugs:
happyone
xx
Hi mate,
It is horrible when anx comes back isn't it eh :hugs:It may not help how you feel right now if I say this but it will pass again.
I totally understand how you feel with the thoughts of driving/crashing/dying etc, do remember they are just thoughts. I had to make a long ish journey this week and I had such a strong thought that if I got in my car that day I would die, I then drove past a nasty crash too which triggered me a bit more but I did it and I coped - and I bet you will too.
You can have a nice time mate and you can keep off the drink and you will not spoil anything for anyone. Just try and enjoy yourself and don't put any pressure on yourself, just take it all as it comes (very easy to say I know!).
I hope you have a lovely time :hugs: I will be thinking of you :flowers:
Lisa x
Have a hug from me to hun :hugs:
Now you have expressed all those worries. Of course they will still trouble you to a degree. Mine did too yesterday. I hope you and your family enjoy this weekend too mate :hugs:
Karen xx
Happy :hugs: have a great weekend hun :hugs: xxx
Hi,
well today is the day I go away. Anx not as high at the mo.
I am getting my mum to look after the kids for a few hours whilst I shop and get bags ready. I will try to fit in a meditation to relax me too.
I know you said on my other thread Lis that I am not p'ing anyone off, but I know I am. Maybe not you, but I know I am.
I will give everyone a break from me and I will post my stuff on another forum, one more geared to mental health probs like mine. This place is lovely and I have met some lovely people but I just bring it down. I can almost hear the 'dear god! Not her again' when I post with my negativity.
Thank you for being there.
happyone
xx
Thanks mandy:hugs:
Happyone
xx
Happy :hugs: oh hun please don't think people think that of you :hugs: you have a fab weekend with your family and we will all want to hear how much fun you had on your return ok :hugs: xxxxx
You have a lovely weekend away scrabble champ! :hugs:
Love Piglet :flowers:
purplehaze
14-09-07, 10:50
Never think that you cant post on here becuase we are all in the same boat and some times we need to have a wee moan to get it off our chests....I loved the dancing bear thought, it made me laugh at the idea of it
take care
honeybee3939
14-09-07, 12:23
Happy
Not sure if you have set off yet, sorry i have only just caught up with your thread been away myself.
I hope you have a lovely time, will look forward to hearing all about it when you get home hun.:) The sun is shining for you so have fun.:)
Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx
Hi,
thanks for good wishes.
Sorry about my crazy stuff:blush: I am quite low at the minute and I get stuck in "I hate me....everyone else must too."
However, I have an hour. I am going to do a meditation/relaxation and chill before going.
Happyone
xx
groovygranny
14-09-07, 13:09
Happyone,
PLease don't apologise about your crazy stuff - cuz if you do we'll all have to apologise for ours lol!:wacko::winks:
I hope you have a really lovely holiday with plenty of R & R !
Looking forward to hearing all about it when you get back!
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
XXX
:flowers:
Hi,
I know you said on my other thread Lis that I am not p'ing anyone off, but I know I am. Maybe not you, but I know I am.
I will give everyone a break from me and I will post my stuff on another forum, one more geared to mental health probs like mine. This place is lovely and I have met some lovely people but I just bring it down. I can almost hear the 'dear god! Not her again' when I post with my negativity.
Now then Mrs what is all this about eh! :hugs: Has anyone said you pee them off - I bet the answer is no :winks:
There is no need to post elsewhere either, at least not unless you want to, but certainly not to give us a break - we don't have to read do we - we choose to and I for one would miss you if you didn't post here. You do not bring this place down at all, never. I'm sure no one thinks "oh not her again" etc when you post either and in the unlikely event anyone did they do not have to read your posts. I have felt like that though, that people avoid my post as I am negative at times so I do kind of understand but this place is here for us all to vent and others choose whether to read or not and I choose to as you're a lovely friend :yesyes:
So on that positive note have a lovely weekend away, bring me back a stick of rock and do not walk about wearing a kiss me quick hat! lol.
Lisa x
Hope its going well Happy:yesyes:
Luv Kaz x x x :hugs:
claire louise
15-09-07, 22:41
oh my goodness happy one, I want to give u a big hug, please dont feel like that we are all here for each other, u shouldnt bring yourself down like that, c'mon girl wheres your fighting spirit! please dont think that people dont want to here you, I have just joined this site recently and I cant believe how much of a relief it is to know other people are like myself, remember your not mentally ill, your nervously ill. Please take care honey.
Are you back yet???? How was it? Been thinking of you this weekend.
I want you here.
Hope your weekend went ok :hugs:
Karen xx
honeybee3939
16-09-07, 21:47
Hi Happy
Hope all went well, been thinking of you :hugs:
Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx
nomorepanic
16-09-07, 22:28
Happy
Hope all went ok - let us know and please do post here still!
You can do this! Anxiety is horrible and can come back just when you think its gone away but I know you will get through this sweetie! BIG hugs and good luck xxxxxxxxx
Did you have a nice time mate??:hugs:
Piglet :flowers:
Hope your weekend went well hun.
Take Care,
Love Pip's X X X X
Paddington
17-09-07, 11:53
wow mate missed this thread..hope your weekend was wonderful....even with the dancing bear..cor mrs you are brave:flowers: And NO ONE is fed up of reading your posts hun..crikey mine are never consistant so lord knows what folk make of me:blush: :wacko: :ohmy: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How did it go Happy hun? hope you had a fab time :hugs: xxx
Hi folks!
firstly....loads of these :hugs: to all of you! Thank you.
Well...I have returned in a better state than I went away in!
Started off with a huge row in the car between me and hubby as he was expecting me to know the way to go when he had the directions in his lap!
Me, the multi tasker has failed to learn how to drive and read a map at same time!:wacko:
we eventually get on road behind a straw bale motor. Husband humphs and sighs. I tell him it will be turning off soon but he answers 'how do you know?!' cos he would be using the bloody dual carriageway if he was going far!!!!
Then I am being tailed by a really fast car, the driver getting impatient to overtake. Hubby moans at me to pull over and let him pass. I can't bloody stop as we are on a windy country road and there is nowhere to stop or slow down safely! the driver behind pulls out to overtake and very quickly has to pull back in as car coming on opppsite side of road!
Whilst I was a little shaky, I hid a smile of 'I told you so':winks:
Anyways, we get near and I have to go through a town. The road signs were not that good, but they were ok. Hubby insists I am on the wrong road....I know I am not. He insists further and whilst I am in a lane for going straight ahead he is saying 'you want to be going left' I go staight ahead and get a little bit up the road, pull in to a parking bay, stop and get out, asking hubby to do the same, telling the kids to stay where they are. He does....a little puzzled.
I then say a few choice words to hubby, some of them beginning with F and ending in K or ing. (said these afew times:blush: ) and said that I had started the journey scared that we would die....and now with his wittering on in my ear...I was terrified we would. So.....could he please keep quiet. (not quite as polite as this)
I continued the journey with no more words from him and we got there safely! Hubby had the grace to apologise....which is rarer than a dodo!
Anyway, we chilled out on the first night. Kids were good as gold, slept like logs. The folowing night...we went to the 'club' OMG....there was everything there to freak a poor wee soul like me. Millions of people (lots and lots of those little things...kids....brrrrrr! They really scare me!) and a big bloody dancing bear. He was going up to tables and trying to make the kids laugh at their poor parents expense.
I begin to plan how I can severely punish the big dancing brute should he come anywhere near me and make it look like part of the act so as not to incur the wrath of a million children!
Thankfully...he kept his distance! Possibly he sensed my slightly psychotic fantasies of maiming the said bear. Or....he may well have been scared of my beautiful, yet scowling, nine year old girl who said she was 'too old' for all this nonsense! Boy...did I know what she meant!
We did not return to the club after that!!
The weekend otherwise passed uneventfully and quite relaxing. Except hubby snored like a bull and I spent two nights on the couch to escape him:mad:
I experienced a miracle whilst I was there.....hubby asked me how I was and how the weekend had affected me if at all!!!!!!OMG!!!! he must be having an affair! LOL
I drove home today feeling a little anx...but when hubby offered to drive I decided being in the car with Nigel Mansell would just be too much! He did not say a word on the way home which suited me down to the ground.
I am home now and I am feeling much better than I did at the end of last week.
thank you all for being friends and a support.:hugs:
Happyone
xxx
Well Done Happy:yesyes:
Glad it went well:D
Luv Kaz x x x
Glad it went ok hun. :hugs:
Jim :hugs:
Brilliant - you did really good..... hurrahhhhhhhhh
And the domestic rows of the weekend made me giggle.
honeybee3939
17-09-07, 15:40
Ohhh happy !
Im so pleased all went well !:yesyes: :yesyes: WELL DONE for coping so well, Your hubby sounds just like mine.lol....i right no all when it comes to driving !.
Are you sure you havent just been to the same caravan site as me?? That big Bear did my head in too !!!lol....:winks:
A BIG WELL DONE HAPPY !! WE KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!:yesyes: :yesyes:
Love and hugs
:hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx
A massive well done Happy :hugs: you did sooo well mate.
I am so pleased you enjoyed the weekend too hun.
Karen xxx
You marvel you!!
Do you think the dancing bear was single like ......sigh - was he wearing a wedding ring!!!
Love Piglet :flowers:
My pc is in the room underneath my little uns bedroom. She has been in her bed for 1/2 an hour and I come along and let out the mightiest bloody guffaw at
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think the dancing bear was single like ......sigh - was he wearing a wedding ring!!! You really are an absoult gem hun! I am going to be sniggering all night just at the image of that bloody bear and a wedding ring....or even more....him and you in a wedding photo!!!!!
Thanks for the laughs Piglet. They really are class!
Happyone
xxx
Hey that's nothing have you seen my photo album of cool dudes on face book - Kermit and Rupert, Morph and some other hotties are all on there!!
I would love to be married to a bear - and think a dancing bear at that, while I lay on pavements he could be dancing - what a double act!!! :yesyes:
Piglet :flowers:
Now that's a sight to be seen Piglet lol!
Karen xx
Hi Happyone, a huge well done on your weekend away....I can appreciate how much of an effort it mustve been for you, but you did so well!
Your post made me giggle....I remember the dancing bear, and the horror that he might come within 50 feet of me....thank god my kids are past that now lol!
A massive well done to you!
luv Coni XX
groovygranny
18-09-07, 07:39
Oh Happyone,
What a brilliant outcome!
So glad you had a great time - and wow, how you handled your 'situations' !
:emot-worship::emot-worship::emot-worship:
"He insists further and whilst I am in a lane for going straight ahead he is saying 'you want to be going left' ...."
The above must be a 'man thang'.......why do they always wait until you can't go right or left before they make their comment? Must be in their genes lol !!
You deserve loads of these....http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u241/Fzd/hug.gif
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
:flowers:
Thanks folks!
you are right GG, men....they fair choose their time to be telling you you should be somewhere other than where you are!
Piglet................I am really sorry......but.................http://embears.com/images/wedding2.jpg
It appears he is indeed...married!
Happyone
xxx
Happy so glad all went well hun you coped good :yesyes: :hugs: xxx
Hi Happyone,
Well done for coping so well while away :yesyes: It sounds like you had a good time and feel better for it.
As for men and directions :lac: lol. I had that with my hubby recently and I was right not him lol.
Take care mate,
Lisa x
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.