Anxiousamyj
29-05-19, 19:23
Hi NMP friends,
I have been doing quite well for the better part of a year with my HA. I had lots of tests last year and the year before, and nothing was found. I had CBT and have been seeing a psychiatrist, and am on an every 6 months schedule with her now, since I had been pretty stable. I am due for all my annual checkups, and this is where the problem is coming in. Today, I went to my well woman checkup. The doctor informed me that my last Pap smear test had been ASCUS (which is a bit abnormal, but very slightly). This was in August 2017. The HPV test they did with it was negative. When they called and gave me these results, they had just told me they were fine. I freaked out a little today and asked her to do a repeat pap and HPV screening, which she did, even though she said I technically wouldn't need one until next year. I feel a little betrayed that they didn't mention the slight abnormality. The doctor was trying to reassure me, letting me know that almost 0 cases of this abnormality with a negative HPV screening would lead to anything bad. I also have my check up with my GP coming up, as well as my first ever mammogram, since I turned 40 last year. All this has been leading to an increase in my anxiety, plus now waiting for pap results, which I was not expecting to need this year. I'm hoping this is a little blip and I will be fine once these appointments are over. I have been googling a bit today, and its pretty discouraging, considering how well I have been doing. I feel like I need a bit of encouragement and am on the edge of the rabbit hole at this point. I will try and stop the googling, as I know this is the most self destructive thing I do when I'm in an HA spiral. It's just so hard sometimes.
I have been doing quite well for the better part of a year with my HA. I had lots of tests last year and the year before, and nothing was found. I had CBT and have been seeing a psychiatrist, and am on an every 6 months schedule with her now, since I had been pretty stable. I am due for all my annual checkups, and this is where the problem is coming in. Today, I went to my well woman checkup. The doctor informed me that my last Pap smear test had been ASCUS (which is a bit abnormal, but very slightly). This was in August 2017. The HPV test they did with it was negative. When they called and gave me these results, they had just told me they were fine. I freaked out a little today and asked her to do a repeat pap and HPV screening, which she did, even though she said I technically wouldn't need one until next year. I feel a little betrayed that they didn't mention the slight abnormality. The doctor was trying to reassure me, letting me know that almost 0 cases of this abnormality with a negative HPV screening would lead to anything bad. I also have my check up with my GP coming up, as well as my first ever mammogram, since I turned 40 last year. All this has been leading to an increase in my anxiety, plus now waiting for pap results, which I was not expecting to need this year. I'm hoping this is a little blip and I will be fine once these appointments are over. I have been googling a bit today, and its pretty discouraging, considering how well I have been doing. I feel like I need a bit of encouragement and am on the edge of the rabbit hole at this point. I will try and stop the googling, as I know this is the most self destructive thing I do when I'm in an HA spiral. It's just so hard sometimes.