Considering Therapy - Utterly Overwhelmed

[CanadianLady]

Hello,

It has been a couple of years since I posted last. I have been plodding along, but the last 8 months has been a roller coaster ride for me. I have an adolescent that was diagnosed with an eating disorder - borderline anorexic - didn't see that one coming. It took 7 months to get in to see a specialist (Oh Canada!!). Three people in my family are now dealing with dialysis and related complications, cancer, and severe arthritis that require family assistance. One older lady is caring for all three of them on the other side of the country while I sit here and worry. She herself is under immense stress, and has brought up the idea with suicide with me. This lady is a suicide-prevention expert and was responsible for rolling out suicide prevention programs across the North. Since I called her out on it, she seems less down when I call her. There has been no more talk of suicide. Meanwhile, a lady I know who battled anorexia for decades committed suicide after Christmas - all the while I am down in the darkest hole of my life trying to support my eating-disordered daughter. Now, I notice my other daughter (age 8) has a small red bump on her arm. She has never had a sunburn, but of course I googled you-know-what (I don't need to say it here). I made an appointment with her pedi - can't get in till June 13th. I just want them to take it off. I was up half the night reading terrible things, I am shaking now as I type this. I can't take much more disaster in my family from a health perspective. I have never spoken to anyone professional about my feelings. I feel like I am now at a point where I can't stay calm enough to deal with everything that is happening. I want to be strong for everyone, but I find myself internalizing my anxiety, over-reacting to everything, and snapping at everyone. What I need is for someone to quickly address the arm bump. That would help - I cannot emotionally cope with a 7 month wait to see a dermatologist and take a wait-and-see approach. What do you think I should do??

[Scass]

I would be overwhelmed too, you’re going through a lot and it’s understandable that you are focusing on the one thing you can fix! It’s not too long a wait for your daughters appointment, have you tried any cream at all?

With regards to your anxiety - a therapist sounds like a great way to help you sort through it all if you can. Have you used relaxation techniques before?


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[ErinKC]

I definitely agree that you could benefit a lot from therapy! It's been a godsend for me and you have so so much going on that even a non-anxious person would need some help coping!

[CanadianLady]

Thank you both so much for responding! It was a cry out into cyberspace for help! Scads, what works for you for relaxation? I have since Google-diagnosed the 8 year old with neurofibromatosis and lymphoma of the skin. I know in my brain a doctor needs to look at this - not someone such as myself who spent 5 hours in the middle of the night googling!

[CanadianLady]

ErinkC, since starting therapy, what concrete have you noticed about yourself? I can't help but think there is something familial going on. Years ago, my aunt told me that my mother and grandmother always thought they had cancer when the slightest thing went wrong. I lived them and did not pick up on this at all. Somehow, I think I subconsciously absorbed this tendency.

[ErinKC]

I grew up with a health anxious mother and really rejected her thought process for so, so long even though she was really overbearing because of it. Then, when I had a child it just came flooding in. It was like all the time I spent with her anxiety around me was just building up and having a baby broke down my defenses and out it came. My anxiety very closely mirrors hers even though years ago I found every one of her worries completely ridiculous!

For me, simply talking with a therapist and working through the things in my life that trigger my anxiety, how to deal with them, ways to unravel an anxiety spiral, and just the idea that anxiety is one part of me and not my whole has really, really helped me. Also, knowing I have my therapist for support is helpful on its own. I know that if I hit a blip it's not long before I see her again and can work through it. I just had kind of a major blip this week due to abdominal pain and I ended up going to the ER because I needed an answer ASAP. It's the first time I've done that in 2 years. But, even with that, I've been able to remain very even keeled. I have several fibroids and one has gotten larger so my doctor today ordered an MRI. I keep expecting to start panicking, but the panic doesn't come. It's a very strange feeling.

Therapy is also just a wonderful opportunity to have someone whose sole job is to listen. It feels very comforting and validating to have someone focused completely on what's going on with you and there to help you get through it. Many times my therapist will just listen and let me work my way through an issue, while other times she'll have very helpful suggestions on how to approach certain things. I tell everyone I know that I think everyone should have a therapist!