CanadianLady
05-06-19, 04:25
Hello,
It has been a couple of years since I posted last. I have been plodding along, but the last 8 months has been a roller coaster ride for me. I have an adolescent that was diagnosed with an eating disorder - borderline anorexic - didn't see that one coming. It took 7 months to get in to see a specialist (Oh Canada!!). Three people in my family are now dealing with dialysis and related complications, cancer, and severe arthritis that require family assistance. One older lady is caring for all three of them on the other side of the country while I sit here and worry. She herself is under immense stress, and has brought up the idea with suicide with me. This lady is a suicide-prevention expert and was responsible for rolling out suicide prevention programs across the North. Since I called her out on it, she seems less down when I call her. There has been no more talk of suicide. Meanwhile, a lady I know who battled anorexia for decades committed suicide after Christmas - all the while I am down in the darkest hole of my life trying to support my eating-disordered daughter. Now, I notice my other daughter (age 8) has a small red bump on her arm. She has never had a sunburn, but of course I googled you-know-what (I don't need to say it here). I made an appointment with her pedi - can't get in till June 13th. I just want them to take it off. I was up half the night reading terrible things, I am shaking now as I type this. I can't take much more disaster in my family from a health perspective. I have never spoken to anyone professional about my feelings. I feel like I am now at a point where I can't stay calm enough to deal with everything that is happening. I want to be strong for everyone, but I find myself internalizing my anxiety, over-reacting to everything, and snapping at everyone. What I need is for someone to quickly address the arm bump. That would help - I cannot emotionally cope with a 7 month wait to see a dermatologist and take a wait-and-see approach. What do you think I should do??
It has been a couple of years since I posted last. I have been plodding along, but the last 8 months has been a roller coaster ride for me. I have an adolescent that was diagnosed with an eating disorder - borderline anorexic - didn't see that one coming. It took 7 months to get in to see a specialist (Oh Canada!!). Three people in my family are now dealing with dialysis and related complications, cancer, and severe arthritis that require family assistance. One older lady is caring for all three of them on the other side of the country while I sit here and worry. She herself is under immense stress, and has brought up the idea with suicide with me. This lady is a suicide-prevention expert and was responsible for rolling out suicide prevention programs across the North. Since I called her out on it, she seems less down when I call her. There has been no more talk of suicide. Meanwhile, a lady I know who battled anorexia for decades committed suicide after Christmas - all the while I am down in the darkest hole of my life trying to support my eating-disordered daughter. Now, I notice my other daughter (age 8) has a small red bump on her arm. She has never had a sunburn, but of course I googled you-know-what (I don't need to say it here). I made an appointment with her pedi - can't get in till June 13th. I just want them to take it off. I was up half the night reading terrible things, I am shaking now as I type this. I can't take much more disaster in my family from a health perspective. I have never spoken to anyone professional about my feelings. I feel like I am now at a point where I can't stay calm enough to deal with everything that is happening. I want to be strong for everyone, but I find myself internalizing my anxiety, over-reacting to everything, and snapping at everyone. What I need is for someone to quickly address the arm bump. That would help - I cannot emotionally cope with a 7 month wait to see a dermatologist and take a wait-and-see approach. What do you think I should do??