View Full Version : The weight lost comments ugh
Weasley123
05-06-19, 20:21
So I think I’ve been doing pretty good with my ha. I’ve been more worried about my husband Then myself lately but I’ve been able to suppress
Anyway something that happened just annoyed me a bit more then anything. I’ve always been think And short but over the last 2 or 3 years I’ve lost maybe 15 lbs. I don’t weigh myself by I check my measures. I have a 27 inch waist. I love to eat but restrict my real indulgences to weekends and days off and I walk a ton 8 miles a day about. Hardly a day goes by at work that someone doesn’t comment on how small I am. Sometimes followed by are u ok. Often it’s a compliment. Now I’m not super skinny by any means I’m a uk size 10 and a USA size 6. So I’m thin but it’s not extreme.
Every time I hear this comments I get a little niggle like oh no what if I have diabetes or bowel cancer. It’s just annoying anyone have similar issues. I mean I should be happy I can fit into vintage clothing a big hobby of mine
People are the worst and should keep their comments to themselves! Imagine just going up to someone and commenting on their weight gain or their hair loss or some other personal item? I have a friend who lost a ton of weight because she was having chronic stomach problems and could barely eat and people kept telling her how great she looked, which pissed her off so much!
You know your body, you sound very healthy and active so being a healthy weight with a thin frame is nothing to be worried about!
Weasley123
05-06-19, 23:06
People are the worst and should keep their comments to themselves! Imagine just going up to someone and commenting on their weight gain or their hair loss or some other personal item? I have a friend who lost a ton of weight because she was having chronic stomach problems and could barely eat and people kept telling her how great she looked, which pissed her off so much!
You know your body, you sound very healthy and active so being a healthy weight with a thin frame is nothing to be worried about!
Thank you I think some people mean it as a compliment which weird me out because I don’t know that weight loss should be such a goal especially as I was never heavy. The whole thing is just weird and sort of triggering to my ha
So many people just have no boundaries! I don't know if you have kids, but being pregnant is the absolute worst for this! Random people just touching your body, commenting on how large or not large enough you are. So weird. Just ignore them!
Weasley123
06-06-19, 00:48
So many people just have no boundaries! I don't know if you have kids, but being pregnant is the absolute worst for this! Random people just touching your body, commenting on how large or not large enough you are. So weird. Just ignore them!
Nope happily child free at 41 which people at my job and my family also love to comment My husband and I have been married 18 years and I’ve heard it all. I’m a special ed teacher and but you’d be such a good mom why don’t you want kids don’t you like kids etc.
Nope happily child free at 41 which people at my job and my family also love to comment My husband and I have been married 18 years and I’ve heard it all. I’m a special ed teacher and but you’d be such a good mom why don’t you want kids don’t you like kids etc.
Ughhhh, the absolute worst!! What is wrong with people!? I have an only child and I get shit about it alllll the time. I got debilitating postpartum anxiety after she was born and now I just straight up tell people that when they ask, "don't you want her to have a sibling??" or some other rude remark. It shuts them up quickly!
MyNameIsTerry
06-06-19, 01:37
That weight loss is fine over such a long period. You sound very healthy to me at that size with a small waist. The waist is an important measure of health, much more so than something like BMI.
You are quite active walking that many miles a day so it will also be keeping your heart healthy.
How tall are you and what is your current weight?
I work for a very large, well known weight loss/wellness company. I will post your healthy weight range.
Weasley123
06-06-19, 13:41
That weight loss is fine over such a long period. You sound very healthy to me at that size with a small waist. The waist is an important measure of health, much more so than something like BMI.
You are quite active walking that many miles a day so it will also be keeping your heart healthy.
I just do a normal pace most of my walking is my commute I walk to a far train stop it’s about an hour each way and plus walking my dogs I get about 20000 steps or 8 miles a day firing the week much less or on weekends as we drive more then
MyNameIsTerry
07-06-19, 14:24
I just do a normal pace most of my walking is my commute I walk to a far train stop it’s about an hour each way and plus walking my dogs I get about 20000 steps or 8 miles a day firing the week much less or on weekends as we drive more then
A UK size 10 is a good, healthy size. Although dress size is not always a good indicator for the simple reason clothing companies have tried to reduce them as women have got bigger in general over the year from what I've heard :winks: As a man I definitely tell you this, I take a size 34 inch waist in jeans yet I'm a 38 inch waist. I've lost 2.5-3 inches so far after being told I had high blood pressure and I know from my fitness days that a true 34 inch waist on a man means you are very in shape.
Your waist size is in the healthy range and that's the most important factor. BMI is useful but doctors use the waist measurement as well because of the visceral fat issue, something that will increase will age naturally.
I'm sure Nancy would know more about all that.
You just sound healthy too me. That walking might be accounting for 500-600 calories a day alone.
Weasley123
07-06-19, 20:10
A UK size 10 is a good, healthy size. Although dress size is not always a good indicator for the simple reason clothing companies have tried to reduce them as women have got bigger in general over the year from what I've heard :winks: As a man I definitely tell you this, I take a size 34 inch waist in jeans yet I'm a 38 inch waist. I've lost 2.5-3 inches so far after being told I had high blood pressure and I know from my fitness days that a true 34 inch waist on a man means you are very in shape.
Your waist size is in the healthy range and that's the most important factor. BMI is useful but doctors use the waist measurement as well because of the visceral fat issue, something that will increase will age naturally.
I'm sure Nancy would know more about all that.
You just sound healthy too me. That walking might be accounting for 500-600 calories a day alone.
I know I’m not over or under I’m not concerned the comments are just a pain. I never weigh myself. I love to eat and regularly indulge in ice cream pizza burgers etc. but Monday thru Thursday I’m pretty careful and I the walking. If I worry about anyone’s weight It is my husband who is maybe a little heavy perhaps 38 waist but also very active biking 2 hrs A day. The comments just annoy me
I don't know... I think I'd rather get comments for being thin then someone commenting on me getting fat ;)
Positive thoughts
I don't know... I think I'd rather get comments for being thin then someone commenting on me getting fat ;)
Positive thoughts
Me too!! Lol
If you know you're not over or under what's the concern?
People say things.. you can't control that. Take it as a compliment and say thank you :-)
Weasley123
08-06-19, 01:31
They ofteb follow it with r u ok’d or don’t lose anymore. Or corner me and sAy how can u eat that and be thin etc
MyNameIsTerry
08-06-19, 01:57
They ofteb follow it with r u ok’d or don’t lose anymore. Or corner me and sAy how can u eat that and be thin etc
This gets a mention on here by others too from some threads I've seen. Some people planting the "are you unwell" seed. It's a bit patronising anyway but I think some people don't see it as more than chit chat.
They ofteb follow it with r u ok’d or don’t lose anymore. Or corner me and sAy how can u eat that and be thin etc
You reply with "Yeah its so great! I can eat whatever I want! Ice Cream for breakfast? No problem! Pizza everyday? Pffft... Chocolate cake, candy and donuts? you know it! Don't you wish you could eat like me?" ;)
Positive thoughts
Weasley123
08-06-19, 15:06
The funny thing is the women who says this to meet eats cake and cookies all the time. And whines endless that our school has no editor. The women who asked if I’m well is much thinner then me she really is a twig. I make it a point to never comment on people’s bodies ever but I guess it’s common to du
I have a T shirt that says: "Cats... because people suck!" ;) That's just the way people are sometimes and like you said, its more of an annoyance than anything else. You're living your life the way you want and that's more than 50% of the battle. Just smile, nod and go on about your business when the humans open their mouths ;)
Positive thoughts
Weasley123
12-06-19, 13:38
So not to be a bug with this but I got to work today and again my coworker says you look so skinny are u ok. Are you eating. I said I was fine. I should have said shut up. It just plants the seed. Then I go weigh myself and I’m 120 with clothes in April I was 124 so that makes me a smidge nervous. Realistically I know I’ve been walking 8 to 10 miles a day and eating pretty low calorie during the week. I’m really not very upset but I’d like to just have these comments and things not trouble me at all
ankietyjoe
12-06-19, 14:01
No need to start a new thread about this, but I can easily lose 4lb in a day. Just try to let it go.
Weasley123
12-06-19, 14:20
Really are you a large person though. I only weigh 119 lbs down from 123. I’m putting it out of my mind or trying too
I only weigh 119 lbs down from 123. I’m putting it out of my mind or trying too
My wife is 5'2" and when I met her she was buck twenty or so. We've both put on a few pounds since then but as far as I'm concerned, 'petite' is a good thing :)
People are going to say things. I don't know what advice to give you other than to learn to love yourself and be confident in who you are. Of course, saying 'shut up and mind your own business' wouldn't hurt ;)
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
12-06-19, 15:07
Really are you a large person though. I only weigh 119 lbs down from 123. I’m putting it out of my mind or trying too
You have fluctuated 4 pounds in 2 months and do a lot of walking. Given the distances involved you are likely burning 500-600 calories a day anyway and if you watch what you eat you could very likely be seeing gradual weight loss simply because you are expending more, on average, than you take in.
Like Joe my weight can fluctuate by 4lbs per day, 5lbs at a maximum although rare. I know because since being diagnosed with Hypertension I have spent the last year changing how I eat and understanding more about my weight. They tell us to weigh in at the start of the day before food & drink, without clothing and preferably after a trip to the toilet for a poo, etc because all these things affect our weight results. That 200g sandwich and 500ml of water I just had has added weight to my body until digestion works to break it down. Then I might do weight bearing exercise which will result in my muscles sucking in more water. Women will have water fluctuations due to hormonal changes.
But did you feel the need to "check" because of the comments? So was it a compulsion, part of your anxiety cycle? If so you know what you need to do there.
The comments can be just like you spotting a lump on your body. The subconscious can respond with "ah ha, something to worry about?". Therefore you can treat it just as any other trigger scenario and change how you respond to such pokes from the subconscious until it stops bothering you with it.
It's natural to experience stuff like this anyway but the question is whether it becomes more than it is in how it affect you.
Weasley123
12-06-19, 15:43
Yes it triggered me to check and I know I should have resisted. I did resist last time
ankietyjoe
12-06-19, 15:44
Really are you a large person though. I only weigh 119 lbs down from 123. I’m putting it out of my mind or trying too
Yes I'm large, I'm about 20lbs overweight, and even slim I'm still stocky. But.... I can lose the weight you're worrying about in a DAY, and your'e worrying about losing it over 2 months, with lower calories and more exercise. You're worrying about literally nothing.
MyNameIsTerry
12-06-19, 15:56
Yes it triggered me to check and I know I should have resisted. I did resist last time
Ok, well done for resisting last time. This time you've had a blip with it but net time you can equally find you won't.
So, this is coming down to some insecurity about what those comments mean. Whether they "could" spot something you are missing about being ill. And the rets will be the typical doubt the subconscious brings by poling at you with intrusive thoughts.
This takes it back into more standard anxiety territory where you spot and eliminate compulsive reactions, spot and steer away negative thinking, aim to reduce your negative responsiveness to the thoughts these triggers generate. As you do that, you will find this all reduces and perhaps such comments just become a more minor irritant?
nomorepanic
12-06-19, 15:57
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Weasley123
12-06-19, 18:32
Ok, well done for resisting last time. This time you've had a blip with it but net time you can equally find you won't.
So, this is coming down to some insecurity about what those comments mean. Whether they "could" spot something you are missing about being ill. And the rets will be the typical doubt the subconscious brings by poling at you with intrusive thoughts.
This takes it back into more standard anxiety territory where you spot and eliminate compulsive reactions, spot and steer away negative thinking, aim to reduce your negative responsiveness to the thoughts these triggers generate. As you do that, you will find this all reduces and perhaps such comments just become a more minor irritant?
I feel better already so I think I can. Also I decided to focus on the positive I move wearing vintage clothes and being small helps me find them
I decided to focus on the positive
That's the best approach and more than half the battle in life. Good going!
Positive thoughts
I'd try to come up with a canned response for these rude people. I read a lot of Dear Prudence and his approach to this kind of thing is usually to have a response ready, like, "thank you for your concern, but I'm not comfortable discussing my weight with you," or pretending to be genuinely confused by the question since who in their right mind is asking someone else about their weight, so saying something like, "sorry, what were you asking?" Sometimes the person will realize they were being inappropriate and back off.
MyNameIsTerry
13-06-19, 01:47
I'd try to come up with a canned response for these rude people. I read a lot of Dear Prudence and his approach to this kind of thing is usually to have a response ready, like, "thank you for your concern, but I'm not comfortable discussing my weight with you," or pretending to be genuinely confused by the question since who in their right mind is asking someone else about their weight, so saying something like, "sorry, what were you asking?" Sometimes the person will realize they were being inappropriate and back off.
Or "I'm fine, thanks" then push on to another topic. Just cut it off.
EmmerLooeez
13-06-19, 12:58
If I was your co-worker and I asked you if you were okay etc, I'd be asking out of genuine concern/worry. I understand that it upsets you because people are asking you questions, but they are probably concerned for you because they care. It can be hella annoying when we feel as though people are prying, I know.
Is your weight within the healthy range for sure? If it is then that's great, just keep an eye on your anxiety in case you're losing weight with that.
MyNameIsTerry
13-06-19, 13:00
I feel better already so I think I can. Also I decided to focus on the positive I move wearing vintage clothes and being small helps me find them
Well done! Keep going.
So, perhaps it's intense at first but reduces over time therefore have a strategy to distract yourself from the thoughts during that time.
Positive thinking is a good move, negative thinking is so powerful in trapping us in bad routines & behaviours. Vintage clothing, having an interest that affirms why you are wanting to be xyz, is a good plan. You turn it into a decision you take, not something you are forced into by anxiety. The power of wanting to do something is powerful.
Are you a 50's style dresser then? It has made a come back and looks great.
Weasley123
13-06-19, 17:25
If I was your co-worker and I asked you if you were okay etc, I'd be asking out of genuine concern/worry. I understand that it upsets you because people are asking you questions, but they are probably concerned for you because they care. It can be hella annoying when we feel as though people are prying, I know.
Is your weight within the healthy range for sure? If it is then that's great, just keep an eye on your anxiety in case you're losing weight with that.
My weight is definitely in the healthy range 5 feet tall 119 lbs. I checked and my BMI is ideal I’ve never been heavy I was probably 10 lbs heavier 5 years ago. This coworkers is actually herself very thin Everyone else my husband. Etc says I look fine or the same. She is a fairly buggy person and another coworker told me she asked her daily why she looked tired.
My weight is definitely in the healthy range 5 feet tall 119 lbs. I checked and my BMI is ideal I’ve never been heavy I was probably 10 lbs heavier 5 years ago. This coworkers is actually herself very thin Everyone else my husband. Etc says I look fine or the same. She is a fairly buggy person and another coworker told me she asked her daily why she looked tired.
Maybe she's an HAer projecting her fears on others?
Positive thoughts
Weasley123
13-06-19, 17:31
Yes I dress in 50s to 70s looks every day. Very outrageous too I’m on Instagram kateskitsch if anyone ever wants a laugh. I was never trying to loose weight as I’ve never been heavy. I just like to walk and I believe it’s healthy and helps anxiety. I don’t really follow a diet as I love to eat my husband and spend our weekends trying restaurants and I love a good take away but I try to be fairly healthy Monday thru Thursday. I don’t put any stock in nutrition advice or diets as it changes ever week. Being smaller means I can fit into more vintage though. I’m a vintage medium or large which gives you an idea of how bodies have changed over the last 70 years
ankietyjoe
13-06-19, 19:09
Yes I dress in 50s to 70s looks every day. Very outrageous too I’m on Instagram kateskitsch if anyone ever wants a laugh. I was never trying to loose weight as I’ve never been heavy. I just like to walk and I believe it’s healthy and helps anxiety. I don’t really follow a diet as I love to eat my husband and spend our weekends trying restaurants and I love a good take away but I try to be fairly healthy Monday thru Thursday. I don’t put any stock in nutrition advice or diets as it changes ever week. Being smaller means I can fit into more vintage though. I’m a vintage medium or large which gives you an idea of how bodies have changed over the last 70 years
I had a look because I was curious.
You ain't skinny. You live in a country where being diabetic and 30lbs overweight is considered normal.
Weasley123
13-06-19, 19:44
I had a look because I was curious.
You ain't skinny. You live in a country where being diabetic and 30lbs overweight is considered normal.
I agree I’m thin but normal. My coworker is actually very skinny to the point of under weight
You ain't skinny. You live in a country where being diabetic and 30lbs overweight is considered normal.
Sad but true, it is job security for me. We have tremendous success and long term success as well... there's never a worry about running out of overweight people to fill their spot.
Healthy weight range for 5' tall is 108 to 128.
119 is smack in the middle. Nope she's not skinny but is in her healthy weight range.
I have sput those numbers right out .... nope I'm not too thin, I'm 5'4" healthy weight range is 117 to 146, I'm 135. That shuts them up.
But... I dont care. People gotta talk, we're not going to stop them.
Weasley123
13-06-19, 20:31
Sad but true, it is job security for me. We have tremendous success and long term success as well... there's never a worry about running out of overweight people to fill their spot.
Healthy weight range for 5' tall is 108 to 128.
119 is smack in the middle. Nope she's not skinny but is in her healthy weight range.
I have sput those numbers right out .... nope I'm not too thin, I'm 5'4" healthy weight range is 117 to 146, I'm 135. That shuts them up.
But... I dont care. People gotta talk, we're not going to stop them.
I
I have to say while I
Agree on charts my weight is healthy I don’t think that healthy weight is something you can print out. I know larger size people who are very fit and healthy. I think what bothered me parity is I don’tt believe in commenting on others bodies. I’m actually a fan of body positivity and healthy at any size. I don’t believe in shaming for being large or small
Obviously I just have to ignore this coworker
Weasley123
13-06-19, 20:33
The next time she says something I’m
Going to say I don’t feel comfortable discussing my weight with you
MyNameIsTerry
13-06-19, 22:33
Well, I had a look at your Instagram too and you look great! Cool style. You will get noticed a lot I bet.
You certainly aren't skinny an you certainly aren't overweight or out of shape. It must be a US thing because I would have thought a lot of UK women would aim for that size?
Walking is definitely healthy. Didn't you mention you cycle too?
Weight, BMI, etc are guides. BMI is based on out of date demographic information. Waist-hip ratio is more the thing these days which I bet Nancy can tell us about. It's certainly more important as you get older as it determines are % risk for disease. Again that's more about someone with a large waist size carrying more visceral fat which is going to be more a danger as you get older and things slow down.
But even with all this it's not exact science and each body can be different. For instance, you see my top 2 sections of abs now I've lost weight yet my waist measurement is still an inch over what it needs to be under let alone to be in shape and it's because I tend to carry more in a few areas. I've still got a double chin despite having my BMI within range! Something which annoys me but I know cortisol plays a role in trunk fat and since cortisol and anxiety go hand in hand I expect that area will hold more until I lose even more.
Weasley123
13-06-19, 22:44
Thanks for the compliment. Living in nyc people are pretty used to crazy outfits but I do get noticed. It may be a USA thing. My love of vintage has shown me that we have really gotten a lot bigger as a species
Thanks for the compliment. Living in nyc people are pretty used to crazy outfits but I do get noticed. It may be a USA thing. My love of vintage has shown me that we have really gotten a lot bigger as a species
You're gorgeous and look presently healthy! I would never in a million years think you looked unwell. Keep rocking your style!
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