View Full Version : So scared. Brain tumour, dementia fears
flatterycat
11-06-19, 08:41
Hello
I am really scared about something that has been happening and really need some help.
Last week I was driving my car down a familiar road when I suddenly realised that I had missed the turning. Then for a moment I couldn't work out where I was. This scared me and has been playing on my mind ever since. Then, this morning I was driving to work and along my usual road. I was deep in thought when I suddenly looked around and did not recognise the road I was on. I kept telling myself that I was on a particular road and that at the end of it I would come to the roundabout and turn left. Which was correct. Everything looked unfamiliar. I am now scared I have a BT or early onset dementia (I am 50).
This has happened to me before over the years but this morning's seemed more intense. I had a brain MRI in Jan 2018, but I know something could have grown since then. I saw my doc last week and mentioned the previous occasion that it happened but she wasn't concerned.
This morning was so so scary. It wasn't like when you have been driving and suddenly find you are at your destination and can't remember how you got there! This was a feeling of panic when looking around and not recognising where I was.
Please help.
It was just a blip. Please don't worry about it?
flatterycat
11-06-19, 08:51
Thank you, but I can't help but worry. I have heard of people who get lost while driving because they have dementia or a BT. I can't see how this was in any way normal or experienced by others.
I'm 42 and it happened to me at work last week, I was walking around the building, turned a corner and became completely disoriented.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 09:04
Did you feel like you didn't recognise where you were?
Yes, completely. The reason you don't hear about it is because that it's not the sort of thing that people without anxiety pay attention to - they just shake their heads and move on.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 09:13
I've read about people with BT or Dementia who did not recognise where they were etc. I am literally a nervous wreck about it all.
You were deep in thought, you had a brain blip. That's not dementia or a brain tumour, that's not being a robot.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 09:26
Thank you BlueIris
When it happened the other week I could kind of accept it, because I had missed the turning, which made me confused. But this morning it seemed to last a bit longer and I was driving along my normal route. The feeling flooded me and my surroundings looked really unfamiliar. It wasn't until I saw the roundabout and usual signs that I was confident that I was on right road. I so want to believe this is nothing to worry about.
Midnight-mouse
11-06-19, 09:35
Thank you BlueIris
When it happened the other week I could kind of accept it, because I had missed the turning, which made me confused. But this morning it seemed to last a bit longer and I was driving along my normal route. The feeling flooded me and my surroundings looked really unfamiliar. It wasn't until I saw the roundabout and usual signs that I was confident that I was on right road. I so want to believe this is nothing to worry about.
I’m only 25 and I’ve had times like that in an area I’ve lived my whole life.
Positive vibes,
Mouse
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flatterycat
11-06-19, 10:21
Really Mouse? - have you had it where you feel like you don't recognise where you are for a moment?
Midnight-mouse
11-06-19, 10:28
Really Mouse? - have you had it where you feel like you don't recognise where you are for a moment?
Of course, like blue said, it’s a common thing that you don’t find reported because it’s harmless and people just shake their heads and get on with it, just part of being human!
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flatterycat
11-06-19, 10:41
Thank you both.
I really feel like I'm hanging by a thread here. I have always had a deep fear of a BT and after having the MRI scan just over a year ago, I really thought I'd put it behind me. But all I can think is that the scan was a long time ago now. I think I also freak out because I had a cousin who had BT. One of his symptoms was when he got lost driving his car and had to call for help.
The sensation I felt when I looked around and couldn't work out where I was has really knocked me.
Its a brain fart, not a brain tumor. Its distracted not dementia. Happens to everyone.
Positive thoughts
flatterycat
11-06-19, 11:49
Thanks Fish - but do you not think the aspect of not recognising where I am for a moment is significant? I get the whole walking into rooms and forgetting, arriving at your destination without remembering the journey but this is very scary when it happens. When I google it shows real life stories of people who have got lost driving etc and who had one of these serious health issues. I also mentioned it to a friend who said it was odd and that she hadn't experienced it before.
Thanks Fish - but do you not think the aspect of not recognising where I am for a moment is significant?
Not even in the least. Many years ago I had a similar thing happen. I was under a lot of stress due to a relationship and one day, while driving to her house, I sort of woke up, still driving and had no idea where I was. Turns out I missed the exit and was 20 minutes North of where I wanted to be. It scared the bejeebers out of me! I found the reason that can and does happen is due to stress. So the question is, how did it happen? Well, the brain is pretty incredible. While one half of my brain was in its own little world thinking about the relationship etc., the other half was driving the car, checking the mirrors and speed etc. My brain was doing what it needed to do. Same thing happened to you IMO. Do you think you'd remember it even happening if it were something like dementia or a brain tumor?
My mother suffered from dementia the last years of her life. To give you an example... We would talk and she'd ask how we were... She'd say, "So how are you? How's the kitty?" I'd reply "We're good. How are you doing?" She'd reply "Ehhh... I don't like it here" (she was in assisted living) "So how are you? How's the kitty?" and so on.... So no... Brain fart 100%
Positive thoughts
flatterycat
11-06-19, 13:06
Thank you for your help Fish, it's always well received. Thing is, with your experience I can see how you would struggle to know where you were as you were 20 minutes North in a place that's not familiar to you. My problem is that I felt confused as to where I was despite being on a road I drive along everyday to work.
These constant yes, buts are an absolutely textbook characteristic of health anxiety way out of control.
These constant yes, buts are an absolutely textbook characteristic of health anxiety way out of control.
Yep.... :(
BUT still....
Positive thoughts
flatterycat
11-06-19, 13:27
But how do I accept it is anxiety for a symptom that seems to be quite bad. How do I determine the difference between what I experienced and stories of people who seem to have had something similar, but it was a real illness. I keep thinking people are interpreting what I am saying as different to what I mean. I really really did feel like i didn't recognise where I was.
And we're trying to tell you that this happens to everybody from time to time. I'm sorry, because it was clearly very distressing for you, but the fact you think it's a big deal is a sign of your disordered thinking and the fact you need help to get past it.
A lot of us here have been there and have been absolutely convinced we have some or other horrible, life-ruining disease. Out of control anxiety can cause you to believe things that are patently untrue, though, and the healing process can only begin once you're willing to acknowledge that.
But how do I accept it is anxiety for a symptom that seems to be quite bad.
You either do or you don't. You can accept that this happens to millions of people and they shrug it off or consciously decide to pursue some rare case you read about on Google. You can also pursue real life help to give you the tools to be able to rationalize when your dragon is trying to drag you down the rabbit hole. There's always the FREE CBT (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?211324-9-FREE-CBT-ebooks-for-Health-Anxiety) too.
Positive thoughts
And we're trying to tell you that this happens to everybody from time to time. I'm sorry, because it was clearly very distressing for you, but the fact you think it's a big deal is a sign of your disordered thinking and the fact you need help to get past it.
Great minds..... ;)
Out of control anxiety can cause you to believe things that are patently untrue
Does that mean that Trump supporters are out of control anxiety sufferers? :whistles:
Positive thoughts
Does that mean that Trump supporters are out of control anxiety sufferers? :whistles:
Or raging dicks.
Definitely one of the two, and speaking as a frequent sufferer of out of control anxiety I have to say there isn't always that much difference.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 14:44
Thank you both. I really do appreciate your wise words. I am at that point where I feel this is something serious but also know that when in this place it is hard to rationalise my thinking at all.
Seriously, go have a chat with your GP, let them set your mind at ease about this and then investigate the possibility of help with your anxiety.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 15:11
I already mentioned it to her when I had it last time. I am having CBT and am also on 50mg Sertraline. (Have been for years) I feel like it's not working, therefore it feels like more evidence that I have something wrong.
I walk all the time, work hard in my job, try to be distracted, basically do the things needed to help, then I get something like I experienced today and it throws me completely.
My doc suggested increasing my dose, but this was when I was worried about something else. We have also talked about HRT too.
It's a blip, then. Those can really throw you off your stride. We all get them, though, and we can all come back from them.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 16:42
Thank you again Blue.
Looking back I have experienced these before, as way back as 2011. However, I now seem to have gone from one every few years to 4 in 9 months. I have been fine in-between but of course I am thinking that it is something that starts off slowly. I have read that people with dementia can . have a symptom, then nothing, then it becomes more frequent.
Sorry, I know I am going on, but I really am scared and cannot stop crying. I keep going over and over what happened this morning.
I am having CBT and am also on 50mg Sertraline. (Have been for years)
Meds can crap out on you (happened to my daughter several times) or you may just need a dosage change. You're just having a blip. Speak with your doc and therapist and you'll get it sorted.
positive thoughts
It's okay, a really bad health anxiety jag can be terrifying. I've spent days in bed sobbing my heart out over diseases I've thought I or my husband had.
You need to stop reading up on this, and focus on other aspects of your life - the more you feed the fear, the harder it will grip you. You're afraid, but that genuinely doesn't mean there's anything to be afraid of.
flatterycat
11-06-19, 17:40
You have both been so kind to have taken the time to respond like this today. I’m home from work now and trying to get a grip. I so want to trust and believe that what I experienced was nothing to worry about but the anxiety is all consuming right now.
I already mentioned it to her when I had it last time. I am having CBT and am also on 50mg Sertraline. (Have been for years) .
Maybe an increase to 100mg will help?
flatterycat
12-06-19, 07:53
Still in a terrible state this morning. I have been awake since 2am worrying about it all. I feel sick and can't eat.
Really spiralling and can't seem to get a grip at all.
Do you have somebody supportive at home, or are you able to get an emergency GP appointment?
flatterycat
12-06-19, 08:16
My husband is great. I am going to try and get an appointment this morning, but I also have a therapy appointment booked.
Okay, that's good. It sounds as though you're too far gone to be able to cope with this one on your own.
flatterycat
12-06-19, 09:05
I've managed to get an appointment with the doc. I have had a few people tell me that they have experienced what I did, but I can't believe that it was the same or as intense.
I think when your anxiety is worse and you have a lot of things on your mind, that you can become forgetful. Yesterday morning I completely forgot to take my daughter to her gymnastics class. I frequently can’t remember whether I’ve taken my daily medication despite having a reminder app. Last week I forgot to take my daughter to her dentist appointment.
Do I worry that I have a brain tumour or dementia? No. My Mum had dementia, so I have seen what it’s like. I am stressed, I have anxiety and too many things on my plate. Definitely talk to your gp if you want to, but don’t discount the theory that it’s not something life threatening x
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flatterycat
12-06-19, 09:15
Thank you Scass. I can see how all the things you have mentioned are completely normal and something that we all do all the time, but my experience just seems too worrying.
Thank you Scass. I can see how all the things you have mentioned are completely normal and something that we all do all the time, but my experience just seems too worrying.
Well of course it does to you. Because that’s your source of anxiety.
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Exactly. Anxiety always finds a reason for things not to be safe. I've lived it, and it's horrible, I just worry that you're not able to identify the anxiety as your main (and indeed only) problem, Flatterycat.
The incident you describe happens to vast numbers of people every day; the only thing that's making it terrifying is your perception of it.
flatterycat
12-06-19, 12:54
I really, really want to believe that. It's like I am scared to accept it is anxiety in case it isn't.
I saw the doctor - not my normal one - and he wasn't in the slightest bit concerned. Said that it was anxiety and wouldn't really entertain the idea that it was a BT.
This would be because there is absolutely no chance of it being a brain tumour.
I really, really want to believe that. It's like I am scared to accept it is anxiety in case it isn't.
I saw the doctor - not my normal one - and he wasn't in the slightest bit concerned. Said that it was anxiety and wouldn't really entertain the idea that it was a BT.
That’s a good thing right?
Off the top of your head, how many times do you think you’ve visited the doctor for brain tumour/dementia worries?
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Maybe an increase to 100mg will help?
Why didn't you discuss increasing med as I suggested above? I don't know what you expected from your GP :lac:
flatterycat
12-06-19, 17:15
Scass
Hi Yes it is.
I've lost count of how many times over the years. For this driving forgetfulness I've been twice.
I had an MRI in Jan 2018, and I also had one in 2011 followed by a CT scan in 2015. All for different reasons, but with the same fear behind them.
I had a cousin who had a BT and I remember his first symptom was getting lost while driving. This has stayed with me, so when I had the 'where am I?' moments I thought it was the same thing.
flatterycat
12-06-19, 17:17
Hi KK
I did discuss meds with him. He said it might help a little, but essentially I had to buy in to the CBT I am having and that if I don't the meds won't help much at all.
This is probably true, unfortunately. The meds are helpful, definitely, but they won't stem a full-blown panic unless you have coping strategies in place.
flatterycat
12-06-19, 18:38
Just got in from work. Was so scared to drive home. I’m on high alert and hated driving along the road that it happened on yesterday. I keep checking to make sure I recognise everything and waiting for it to happen again. This, I know probably makes it more likely.
Just got in from work. Was so scared to drive home. I’m on high alert and hated driving along the road that it happened on yesterday. I keep checking to make sure I recognise everything and waiting for it to happen again. This, I know probably makes it more likely.
Being hyperaware about it will definitely make it more likely to happen! And the higher your anxiety gets the more likely it will happen again. I just had a week of very high anxiety after a year of having everything under control. I had to drive to some doctors appointments I was nervous about in an area I'm in constantly, in a place I've lived on and off for almost 20 years. Twice in the same week I got completely disoriented during my drive home. My brain placed me on a different street than I was and I made a wrong turn and ended up going around in a circle instead of simply going straight to get where I needed to go. It took me a few seconds to snap out of my confusion and realized where I was. This is 100% because my mind was preoccupied by anxiety.
I have just seen this thread and had to chime in: this type of brain fart has happened to me MANY times. Often when driving: the road suddenly looks totally unfamiliar. Of course ive drawn the same conclusions as you (I do suffer from HA after all).... but I guess it’s just normal combined with hyper awareness
6 pages and 26 replies all saying the same thing. Add to that a medical professional affirming what we all know. I don't know what else can be said :shrug: Your anxiety can scream in your ear all it wants but it doesn't change the facts.
Positive thoughts
flatterycat
13-06-19, 08:31
Thank you all so, so much for your support, I can't tell you how much you are helping, even if is feels like I am not listening. I admit I am not taking it all on board, but I think that's anxiety for you. I suppose if it was easy to believe I wouldn't have the anxiety!
I am very anxious still. Waking early, crying, shaky, no appetite - all the usual signs of anxiety for me. I drove to work this morning worrying and feeling particularly anxious when I got to the road it happened on. All those of you who have had this, did you genuinely look around you and for a moment not recognise which road you were on and then panic?
I'm sorry, but I don't think we should be discussing this any more. Seeking reassurance like this is an unhelpful behaviour as you need to learn to reassure yourself.
flatterycat
13-06-19, 12:37
Yes I agree Blue. Sorry, I'm just in that awful place and in the grips.
No need to apologise, we've all been there.
Read back over the thread OP, that should help. And remember what the doctor said. There’s nothing wrong with your brain - except the crippling anxiety x
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flatterycat
13-06-19, 17:14
Read back over the thread OP, that should help. And remember what the doctor said. There’s nothing wrong with your brain - except the crippling anxiety x
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Scass
Thank you. I’ve read through the posts a few times today and will continue to. The anxiety really is crippling right now. I’ve been in meetings this morning and doing lesson observations and it’s been so hard to remain composed. Still can’t eat, which just adds to the anxiety and of course creates more symptoms. However I can handle all that, it’s the fear of what happened that is most prominent in my mind.
I’m trying to let it go, move on and believe. X
Ahhh, you're in education, too? I swear the pressures of the sector are absolute catnip for anxiety disorders.
flatterycat
13-06-19, 17:32
Deputy Head in 4 form junior school. Very stressful at times and like being on a treadmill while juggling lots of balls. Are you also in Education?
Yep, I run the VLE at a midsized FE college. I love the job, but right now it's close to breaking me.
flatterycat
13-06-19, 18:03
I actually seem to be better when I’m at work and stressed there as it distracts me - usually. Although I’m not sure it’s healthy as every once in a while I seem to crash.
flatterycat
16-06-19, 09:12
I’m still struggling. Had a couple of better days, but woke this morning feeling very anxious still.
I just cannot seem to get a grip of this worry.
It'll get better, I promise, you just need to give it time.
flatterycat
16-06-19, 09:54
On one level I know you’re right Blueiris but the negative side is so strong at the moment. I keep go round and round what happened and then find myself thinking it can’t be anything else but what I fear. I’m not googling now, but of course I can remember the stuff I have read and despite others saying they’ve experienced it to, the majority struggle with the day to day memory stuff. Not recognising where I was for a moment just seems so much bigger than the other stuff.
It's really not, but the anxiety is affecting your sense of judgement. I got totally lost yesterday coming out of a public toilet cubicle, couldn't find the handbasins or the exit. It's exactly the same thing.
Can you maybe ask your other half to be rational for you? When I'm in a bad way, I tend to just ask my husband whether or not I'm being rational and then rely on his answer.
flatterycat
16-06-19, 10:23
Thanks Blue.
Yes I ask hubby to tell me if he ever thought I wasn’t myself. He says it’s anxiety.
So, every time the scary thoughts come along, acknowledge that they're happening, acknowledge that it's anxiety and then refocus on something else. You'll have to do it a lot at first, but it will get easier.
flatterycat
16-06-19, 10:42
Ok I will. I can’t say it’s going to stop me thinking that I have BT etc, but at least I will be doing something positive.
Exactly, and practicing will definitely help eventually.
flatterycat
16-06-19, 11:54
Am I possibly able to recreate the same symptoms. Just been driven to in laws and felt similar again. Looked around, felt panicky and road looked unfamiliar and I wasn’t sure quite where I was on the road. Not sure if it’s a genuine problem or if I’m making it worse.
Your anxiety is making you distracted, no more, no less.
flatterycat
17-06-19, 12:47
I'm writing this, not because I am looking for more responses but because it allows me to articulate how I feel (in a safe place) and give me something to read back on when I am struggling.
I'm managing to get into work still, although each morning feels like a real struggle. I am still analysing what happened to me, questioning myself, worrying that this time it won't be anxiety and that everyone is wrong. I am on high alert - and driving is a real effort because it brings the memory and fear. I know I could easily avoid driving, but know that it'll make things worse.
I am also at the place where it feels really difficult to do the things that I know help anxiety. I get thoughts about it being pointless, if the real problem is a BT or whatever. I know this is typical anxiety thinking, but it doesn't make it any less scary.
I know you’re in the middle of it and it’s a scary place to be, but it might help to try some mindfulness practices in the morning after you get up? I found mantras brilliant too. Start the day with positivity, you are still here! It’s a beautiful day because ......
You’ll get there x
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flatterycat
17-06-19, 18:18
Thanks Scass x
Flatterycat, does the problem only occur when you're driving?
flatterycat
17-06-19, 19:37
Hi Erin
Over the years, I have had it (very occasionally) when driving for a few seconds and I’ve also had it in a couple of shops. I remember writing about on here, years ago.
When i I had it last week though, it felt more intense and I really panicked.
flatterycat
20-06-19, 08:10
Had a few days now where I am sleeping and eating better which is good. Still analyse what happened and feel anxious when I drive. I'm also still having the general feeling of not being with it, or things not being right. Had an appointment with therapist on Tuesday which was also positive. Anyway, as I said before, I am not looking for a response, I just want somewhere to put it all down.
I know this is an older thread but when this happens do you then start to panic a little which makes the situation worse?
Chris
spacebunnyx
11-11-19, 06:21
Hi,
I've had similar and know it's unnerving. I've also had it where someone's talking to me but I just don't know how I know them/know their name. I'm 38 and as far as I'm aware don't have either condition. XXX
Hi spacebunnyx - You've had it before where all of a sudden you just become completely disoriented and not realize where you are?
Hadenoughofthis
02-04-23, 14:18
I’ve been having this lately don’t know if this helps I put salt in fridge the other day and thought I put a wash in and was worried about leaving it in to long only to find that was the day before and I had gotten it out my health anxiety is back this is what I’m worried about right now anyine do these things I’m under a lot of stress I’m 31
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