lofwyr
11-06-19, 14:31
Hey folks, just popping on for a first for me.
I have had dogs my entire life. The whole thing. Dogs have helped me through the roughest times of my life, and been close friends when it felt I didn't have many elsewhere. They are very important to me. They were there, part of my family before I was born, and will be with me my entire life. The only time I had less than three dogs was in college, and I still had two then.
Just last September we adopted a young, two year old shelter pit bull. In the countless dogs I have fostered and lived with, she might be the very sweetest of them all. So grateful to be lifted from a hard life. So happy, all the time. One of those companions that makes you wonder where they have been your whole life.
Well, very suddenly, I mean in the space of one day, she developed a pretty large growth on her neck. I am hoping it is some sort of inflammation, because that seems pretty fast for even aggressive cancer, but tried all the vet's tricks in the book medicine wise (allergy meds, anti inflammatory), and no result. It has only been a couple days, but it is still there and still the same. I have an appointment for with the vet a week from tomorrow, as they are very busy, that was the soonest I could squeeze in.
It could be anything. I obviously don't practice veterinary medicine. But the thing is, this brought back all my old anxiety, the catastrophizing, the obsessive feeling of the lump, even the googling, which I talked myself into thinking it was okay because "this was for my dog." I recognize this all as the anxiety, but then this lump is definitely not in my imagination. It is obvious just looking at her, maybe 3-4 inches long, half that wide, just below the skin in the tissue. It honestly doesn't feel like a limpoma, which our oldest dog has plenty of.
The logical part of me knows that, even if it IS a tumor, which it may well not be, it has at least a 50-50 shot at being benign. (Thanks google).
When I have lost older dogs over the years, it is absolutely sad, and crushing, but there is comfort in knowing you had the time together, a lifetime for them. You gave them a full, long life, and they gave you a lifetime of unconditional love, which I hope they felt in return. And, I have lost a few younger dogs over the years, and it breaks me down the middle. But this girl, she is so special to me, just the possibility that this cancer is breaking me. It is like I can't even access the CBT I have learned, and wake early, in a panic.
The one thing that keeps me rocking, is your words Fishmanpa.
"It's not cancer until it's cancer."
So thanks for that, for sure.
Just venting, and maybe warning other pet lovers that if you haven't gone down the rabbit hole of anxiety over a health issue with them, it absolutely applies. Don't google. Just go to the vet and have them take a peek. I guess that is my cautionary tale here.
I have had dogs my entire life. The whole thing. Dogs have helped me through the roughest times of my life, and been close friends when it felt I didn't have many elsewhere. They are very important to me. They were there, part of my family before I was born, and will be with me my entire life. The only time I had less than three dogs was in college, and I still had two then.
Just last September we adopted a young, two year old shelter pit bull. In the countless dogs I have fostered and lived with, she might be the very sweetest of them all. So grateful to be lifted from a hard life. So happy, all the time. One of those companions that makes you wonder where they have been your whole life.
Well, very suddenly, I mean in the space of one day, she developed a pretty large growth on her neck. I am hoping it is some sort of inflammation, because that seems pretty fast for even aggressive cancer, but tried all the vet's tricks in the book medicine wise (allergy meds, anti inflammatory), and no result. It has only been a couple days, but it is still there and still the same. I have an appointment for with the vet a week from tomorrow, as they are very busy, that was the soonest I could squeeze in.
It could be anything. I obviously don't practice veterinary medicine. But the thing is, this brought back all my old anxiety, the catastrophizing, the obsessive feeling of the lump, even the googling, which I talked myself into thinking it was okay because "this was for my dog." I recognize this all as the anxiety, but then this lump is definitely not in my imagination. It is obvious just looking at her, maybe 3-4 inches long, half that wide, just below the skin in the tissue. It honestly doesn't feel like a limpoma, which our oldest dog has plenty of.
The logical part of me knows that, even if it IS a tumor, which it may well not be, it has at least a 50-50 shot at being benign. (Thanks google).
When I have lost older dogs over the years, it is absolutely sad, and crushing, but there is comfort in knowing you had the time together, a lifetime for them. You gave them a full, long life, and they gave you a lifetime of unconditional love, which I hope they felt in return. And, I have lost a few younger dogs over the years, and it breaks me down the middle. But this girl, she is so special to me, just the possibility that this cancer is breaking me. It is like I can't even access the CBT I have learned, and wake early, in a panic.
The one thing that keeps me rocking, is your words Fishmanpa.
"It's not cancer until it's cancer."
So thanks for that, for sure.
Just venting, and maybe warning other pet lovers that if you haven't gone down the rabbit hole of anxiety over a health issue with them, it absolutely applies. Don't google. Just go to the vet and have them take a peek. I guess that is my cautionary tale here.