breesmum
16-09-07, 14:09
I didn't know where else to turn.
My anxiety seems to be getting worse!
For example, last night we had the end of a festival and fireworks were held. I was enjoying the fireworks with the children and then all of a sudden i got the idea in my head that the loud noises from the fireworks were going to make me have a heart attack. I could feel the booms vibrating through my body and it just freaked me out. I wanted to escape the outdoors but all i could do was turn away and hope for the best.
Today i freaked out again. Went to watch a friend of ours go bungy jumping. To get up to the seating area you had to walk up a steep pathway. My heart was thumping and i was so frightened that something was going to happen. My chest continously hurt but only on the sides like if you had just worked out at the gym on your chest. Know what i mean?
Then talking to my other half tonight....we were discussing me looking and getting a new job. I have to leave my current one. I'm not a tiny girl, i'm a big girl (not BIG BIG but big) and we were basically saying that my weight is going to hold me back for a lot of jobs. I have had several years experience in administration and i am finding it so hard to get a job or even an interview. I asked him what I could do about the situation when i am trying so hard and he said exercise! How the hell can i exercise when i am too frightened of having a heart attack?? What am i to do??
Because i have been off work i can't afford to go and see my psychologist so i am left to battle this on my own.
My sleep is starting to be disturbed again and i am panicking over the little things but all mostly to do with my heart!
I want this to stop now! I have had enough and I want it to go away! I want to enjoy my time with my family and children and not base all my decisions on something as silly as a fear that i know there is no need for. My tests have all come back fine.
Thanks for listening.
My anxiety seems to be getting worse!
For example, last night we had the end of a festival and fireworks were held. I was enjoying the fireworks with the children and then all of a sudden i got the idea in my head that the loud noises from the fireworks were going to make me have a heart attack. I could feel the booms vibrating through my body and it just freaked me out. I wanted to escape the outdoors but all i could do was turn away and hope for the best.
Today i freaked out again. Went to watch a friend of ours go bungy jumping. To get up to the seating area you had to walk up a steep pathway. My heart was thumping and i was so frightened that something was going to happen. My chest continously hurt but only on the sides like if you had just worked out at the gym on your chest. Know what i mean?
Then talking to my other half tonight....we were discussing me looking and getting a new job. I have to leave my current one. I'm not a tiny girl, i'm a big girl (not BIG BIG but big) and we were basically saying that my weight is going to hold me back for a lot of jobs. I have had several years experience in administration and i am finding it so hard to get a job or even an interview. I asked him what I could do about the situation when i am trying so hard and he said exercise! How the hell can i exercise when i am too frightened of having a heart attack?? What am i to do??
Because i have been off work i can't afford to go and see my psychologist so i am left to battle this on my own.
My sleep is starting to be disturbed again and i am panicking over the little things but all mostly to do with my heart!
I want this to stop now! I have had enough and I want it to go away! I want to enjoy my time with my family and children and not base all my decisions on something as silly as a fear that i know there is no need for. My tests have all come back fine.
Thanks for listening.