memyselfandi
16-09-07, 23:56
Hi all
Excellent support network.
I have to say I do not dwell on anxiety web sites. I found in my personal experience that "getting back to normal" was my main coping mechanism. If I read about doom and gloom I become gloomy.
My anxiety started after having a family. I think that I was not emotionally mature enough. I had a desire to start a family to prepare for the inevitable loss of my own Parents. On the birth of my 3rd son, last year, my anxiety peaked and I spent a night in Hospital after walking into A&E with pains down my arm and palpatations. I left the next day with the advise from the doctor to stop worring about what might happen.
Nothing prepared me for the step up in symptoms after that night in the Hospital. I could not sleep. I would jump just at the point of falling asleep. I had heart palpatations, missed beats. Full body shakes in the middle of the night. Tingling in my hands....etc...all the symptoms in this forum have been experienced to date. Just when I think I seem to be getting better I recieve a symptom seemingly out of the blue which then makes me think " May be it is not anxiety related after all".
I now quickly shower so I dont find any wierd lumps or bumps. I occupy myself all the time to keep away from having "me time" I try not to read magazines or newspapers that have any health related editorial in them as I only seem to be listening for health issues. You know the type, so and so has just discovered a lump and has been rushed in to hospital. The immediate feeling is the feeling a person with the fear of heights would have if they imagined being on top of blackpool tower looking down.
I am walking a lot at the moment but I get a light headed feeling which then makes me think that I still have a heart problem. I have been for a full check up on my heart echo scan. Exersise test, 24 hour tape, ECG...I keep telling myself this but part of me says that they can only tell me if I have had a heart attack and not that I will not have one in the next year.
Just writing this email I am having pins and needles again in my left hand.
Some days are great, some are not so good. I sometimes laugh at the symptoms thinking how powerful the mind is to be able to simulate illness to self perpetuate the problem.
I seem to be waiting for bad health news from either myself or from my family. I fear every report of health issues and spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about health. If anything good has come from it it is my diet has become much better. I have started exercising. The down side is I cannot spend that much needed time with my new born son as I just cant cope with him crying. He has picked up on my stress and screams whenever I get stressed. My wife is amazing. She is a tower of strength. I have started to worry about her health with having to cope with me and the new born. I feel guilt that I find it difficult to give her some respite from our baby.
Anyhow now for the good news.
Holidays...give me a break from most of the symptoms most of the time.
Keeping busy...with enjoyable pastimes also lets me have a break from the symtoms...you just feel tierd all the time from being so busy.
Meditation has helped unbelivably.
This website has helped when I cannot rationlise the symptoms I just log on and read the symptom list and all is well. I have now print
ed the full symptom list and put it on the fridge and in my wallet so when i am having a especially bad time coping I just read my symptom cheat sheet.
Anyhow less about me. This could be the problem...selfishness.....or could it be being too compassionate... I dont know.
Hope you all well
Mark
Excellent support network.
I have to say I do not dwell on anxiety web sites. I found in my personal experience that "getting back to normal" was my main coping mechanism. If I read about doom and gloom I become gloomy.
My anxiety started after having a family. I think that I was not emotionally mature enough. I had a desire to start a family to prepare for the inevitable loss of my own Parents. On the birth of my 3rd son, last year, my anxiety peaked and I spent a night in Hospital after walking into A&E with pains down my arm and palpatations. I left the next day with the advise from the doctor to stop worring about what might happen.
Nothing prepared me for the step up in symptoms after that night in the Hospital. I could not sleep. I would jump just at the point of falling asleep. I had heart palpatations, missed beats. Full body shakes in the middle of the night. Tingling in my hands....etc...all the symptoms in this forum have been experienced to date. Just when I think I seem to be getting better I recieve a symptom seemingly out of the blue which then makes me think " May be it is not anxiety related after all".
I now quickly shower so I dont find any wierd lumps or bumps. I occupy myself all the time to keep away from having "me time" I try not to read magazines or newspapers that have any health related editorial in them as I only seem to be listening for health issues. You know the type, so and so has just discovered a lump and has been rushed in to hospital. The immediate feeling is the feeling a person with the fear of heights would have if they imagined being on top of blackpool tower looking down.
I am walking a lot at the moment but I get a light headed feeling which then makes me think that I still have a heart problem. I have been for a full check up on my heart echo scan. Exersise test, 24 hour tape, ECG...I keep telling myself this but part of me says that they can only tell me if I have had a heart attack and not that I will not have one in the next year.
Just writing this email I am having pins and needles again in my left hand.
Some days are great, some are not so good. I sometimes laugh at the symptoms thinking how powerful the mind is to be able to simulate illness to self perpetuate the problem.
I seem to be waiting for bad health news from either myself or from my family. I fear every report of health issues and spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about health. If anything good has come from it it is my diet has become much better. I have started exercising. The down side is I cannot spend that much needed time with my new born son as I just cant cope with him crying. He has picked up on my stress and screams whenever I get stressed. My wife is amazing. She is a tower of strength. I have started to worry about her health with having to cope with me and the new born. I feel guilt that I find it difficult to give her some respite from our baby.
Anyhow now for the good news.
Holidays...give me a break from most of the symptoms most of the time.
Keeping busy...with enjoyable pastimes also lets me have a break from the symtoms...you just feel tierd all the time from being so busy.
Meditation has helped unbelivably.
This website has helped when I cannot rationlise the symptoms I just log on and read the symptom list and all is well. I have now print
ed the full symptom list and put it on the fridge and in my wallet so when i am having a especially bad time coping I just read my symptom cheat sheet.
Anyhow less about me. This could be the problem...selfishness.....or could it be being too compassionate... I dont know.
Hope you all well
Mark