View Full Version : I just cant take it anymore
just done the school run , had to leave my daughter at the gate because I was panicking , rushed home in tears , and now cant stop crying.
I am so sick of this , I know what to do when it happens , I know what causes it BUT I CANT STOP IT :weep: .
Ive tried pills , that always make me feel terrible and make me panic even more, Ive done CBT but nothing helps me.
I just dont know what else I can do, Im feeling devastated , desperate and
Ill with it. I dont want my life to be like this , I want to be there for my children 100%. I keep fighting this for them , but Im so tired of it.
I panicked on friday , saturday ,sunday and now today..Im getting worse.
I get so terrified when it happens , there is nothing anyone can say to make it better, there seems there is nothing anyone can do to make it better.
So I have to live my life like this do I ?
an old friend phoned me who I havent seen in 13 years , she asked ot meet up but I had to say no. But I want to do things but I know I cant.
oh mirry, don't know what to say to you really. I have been where you are now so I know things can improve but that'll not help you at the moment will it? how old is your daughter?
Aww mate it is sooooo hard when we get a run of this - I want to get in touch with an old friend too who's been asking after me but like you it just seems too big a deal!!
I think you have to remember that when we feel this bad we tend to blanket off the last X number of years as being all bad but in actual fact not every day has been anything like bad - we do still achieve many things and have a laugh here and there.
Look at how brave you were to get your jewellery sold in various outlets and go away on hols here and there - you do pretty well most of the time lovie.
When we are mid panic or very anxious we tend to lose perspective - I know I do but perhaps like me we need to not mind so much that we are like it and not keep trying to supress panic.
What is it about the school run particularly that is a prob (I don't mean the mass of heaving people cos I'm with you on that one - I mean is the basis that its worse there because you don't want to panic infront of people - that's the one I am working on at the moment).
Anyway have a hug hun :hugs:
Love Piglet :flowers:
Hi Mazz, my daughter is nine years old, I really wanted to walk her into the playground because she is going on a bus to swimming today.
Maybe I should try another pill ? Some people say pills take away the panic attacks completley... wouldnt that be nice .
thank you for replying
:hugs:
Paddington
17-09-07, 10:25
Oh Mirry hun:hugs: :hugs: anxiety is the vilest illness isnt it hun..oh i am so sorry you are havin a bad time of it ,i can only suggest the old paul mckenna cd's Mirry..it talkes time but they helped me ..i was with you then hun..feelin the fear the desperation..sometimes it just helps to share it hun:flowers: I had a stinker of a panic on saturday..out of the blue..it shocked and upset me..out came the valium..downed a lager and it subsided..but hey hun..it is, it appears ,beyond our control..i dont have the answers mate..but am here to listen..just like we all are..as we all walk in your shoes hun..if not now then at some point in out lives..have a big hug:hugs: love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Piglet , I dont know what it is about the school run really , I think its people too close to me :shrug: . But when my son was small I was actually attacked once in a school playground by some mad woman. At the time I had only given birth to my daughter 5 days before the attack. She came at me from behind psuhing me over ( all because I had informed the school that her son was bullying my son).
Anyway that was in another town where we used to live 8 years ago.
But I remember at the time feeling really embarrased and scared, I suppose my emotions were all over the place at the time with just giving birth.
I cant stop crying about the way I am now, when I was in the car with hubby and kids saturday, we got stuck in traffic on the motorway and I felt my self getting panicky so I just closed my eyes and did breathing exercises.
On saturday night my hsuband actually got really upset about me , he looked tearful and said he just wants me to be happy....
this upset me so much, I dont want him upset about me or my kids , I feel so pressurised to be Normal, but I just cant do it :weep: .
I know I will have better days but I dont get many of them lately.
Mirry, I am sooooo sorry you are feeling like this..... It is such a horrible, desperate feeling. I know you want to be able to be ok again, I know that you feel like you can't fight it anymore....I know because you know I've been there, and I can feel your pain.
Have you had Reiki or hypnotherapy Mirry? I really find that these help especially the Reiki as it really helps to clear my mind and helps me to see the wood from the trees.
Also, now I know this ain't easy, but try, try, try not to beat yourself up about this. Try to think of the positives. For instance you did attempt to take your daughter to school. If my memory serves me correct, I believe that there was a time when you could not even attempt it. So, try & be kind to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for even attempting it. (think of it this way, if it was me or anyone else that had wrote your post, or your daughter, you would be saying, well done for trying!!!! Yes you would) So, try to say that to yourself. Then say to yourself, ok I will attempt it again tomorrow, if I run home again, so be it, I will try again the next day. Eventually, there will be a day where you can do it again and you will be so proud of yourself.
Remember too that we all have days where we just can't deal with the panic and anxiety for whatever reason, but other days we are much stronger & can deal with it. Again, be kind to yourself, & remember that on other days you will be stronger, your just not feeling as strong just now, but that's ok.
Thinking of you,
paddie, thanks mate , I came on here in desperation and got some lovely replies (that have made me cry more ,lol)... to have people who understand means so much to me. I dont have anyone in my life who understands , they have sympathy but no understanding at all.
My mother said , " just ignor the panic and think of the kids, put them first "
I just smiled at here, (if only it were that easy).
Ever since I took diazepam and had a really bad panic attack, I stay away from them. My mother in law says have a stiff drink , but then I read this is not the answer.
Ive run out of ideas.
Paddington
17-09-07, 10:43
well mirry it look as tho the playground incident sparked off the panic of playgrounds hun..not ruddy suprising really:ohmy: It is a remebered fear in your subconcious mind i would think...as for the crying hun..that has been me all weekend too:weep: feeling i am going backwards and that i am annoying my partner too..when i had my panic on saturday he just stood there watching the falconry display..it can make you feel so lonely inside ..when i cried yesteday because of the pain i am having in my chest /tum..he said oh come on now..i just wanted to scream:ohmy: Your hubby seems very supportive Mirry..:hugs: Hey its just a bad time at the moment hun..as Piglet said you HAVE done things and been places and you have been ok:D It will be ok again hun..:flowers: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Panic Diva , your right, I am being too hard on myself , Its like I feel Ive failed YET AGAIN !, and I suppose that just isnt helpfull is it :blush: .
what is Reiki exactly , is it a type of healing ?
Ive always fancied having the thing where they lay their hands on you , healing you. Has anyone else had that ?
oh Paddy , I am sorry you had that panic on saturday, I know exactly what you mean about about your hubby carrying on with out a idea what you are going thru inside. Ive had many times like that before , on saturday when i panicked in the car, my hubby and my son put on a heavy metal cd !!!
It was just awful, I was so gripped inside I couldnt even tell them to turn it off , and my hands were clasped firmly around my handbag pulled in tight into my stomach., i was to scared to move an inch , have you ever felt that feeling?
I know Ive had some good times, but what upsets me is , Its never ever easy. I go out with the family panic and carry on and end up having a good time. its like I have to go thru HELL to have a good time.
:weep: hi mirry/guys,
i want say that you are not on your own with how you are feeling at the mo, and all the advice and care you are getting from the guys is soooo true, so i hope you can feel abit better knowing that we do all care.
i cant offer any advice at the mo just solidarity, because i am way down at the moment with the panic, just want to avoid it completely. my situation with regards my husband is similar to paddys in as much as he isnt very sympathetic, i dont want him to understand but i think sympathy/empathy dont need real understanding of a situation, just feeling unhappy that someone is hurting is enough! but i rarely get that, so i think if your husband cares enough to get upset youve got a real good reason to get better. for me its almost as though my husband can take it or leave it so long as he can go to work! i know that sounds selfish, because ofcourse someone has to pay the mortgage,but just being there emotionally for someone i think can make all the difference to whether you feel its worth going through all the pain to get better. anyway im rambling now so sorry, but i can tell you, the crying and the fear and confusion are there with me too, so althoguh it wont take it away for you, you are certainly not alone at this minute with how you feel,
all the best emma:flowers:
Emma. your right , there must be so many people in the world right now who are crying about this beastly illness (it is an illness isnt it).
But like any other invisable illness , if you cant see it then who can understand :shrug: .
My husband is a nice guy, but he is a man of few words , infact he doesnt say much about it at all, thats why it upset me when he did the other night...I then start to worry that hes had enough of these panic attacks, cos I sure have.
My mother was the worst , she used to say "what is it now ?" every time I panicked:ohmy: .
:hugs:
Paddington
17-09-07, 11:10
crumbs we need a group huh i think:hugs: :hugs: i know what you mean Mirry too about havin to go thru hell to get to paradise:wacko: It is exhausting hun:weep: Do you know that i have to go to london again this weekend:ohmy: My other half is taking me to see prince AGAIN!!!!!I DONT WANT TO GO:ohmy: He thinks cause i did it once i am now cured..i was in pain most of the time and with out Karen i would have been in hell alone!I am in pain all the time now and i think it is stress related:mad: Those comment dont help do they hun..your mom saying those things ,,she simply does NOT understand does she..shame about the valium hun..they always work for me ..maybe you were scared of what they would do hun so you panicked ..they are a mild muscle relaxant ..nothin spooky and lucky for me i am not addicted to them,,just good to know i have them if i have a panic in public..yes the gripping of the bag the loud music..oh boy have i been there hun..hey another HUGE group hug..it seems a few of us are having a bad time of it at the moment :hugs: :hugs: love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
:hugs: ahhh thanks paddie :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I think the group hug is very benificial to us all ,
heres some for anyone else out there who needs them
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Paddie , LONDON !!!
you dont do things by half do you paddie , lol.
I hope you have a lovely time, you deserve it . xxx
Paddington
17-09-07, 11:34
Thanks Mirry ,but i DO N OT WANT TO GO AGAIN THIS SOON:weep: I am like you in as much as i feel Adam is sick of having to carve his life round my anxiety..so i push myself sometimes for the wrong reasons...If this pain subsides maybe i will be ok but if it does not then lord knows what will happen:lac: We shall see????More big hugs to you an emma and me and anyone else who feels they have had enough:wacko: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Granny Primark
17-09-07, 11:47
Cant off any advice but i really do understand where you are coming from.
Its like being on a roller coaster ride and you just want it to stop so you can get off.
Also if your anything like me you put this act of that your ok cus you feel your letting people down.
Loads of hugs to you and all who are going thru a bad patch of panic and anxiety.
Hope you too feel better soon paddie.
Take care
LYNN xx
Mirry have a big hug from me hun :hugs: and don't be hard on yourself :hugs: xxx
Lynn , your right , Its like we are living a big pretence......
the other day I was listening to that song , "Yes Im the great pretender "
and I cried listening to that too :blush: .
maybe I should leave my brain to science :shrug:
mandy, I just run out of straws and felt annoyed at myself :blush: ,
but I must remember I am not my panic attack.
thanks :hugs:
:hugs: Oh Mirry hun :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: you stay strong ok :hugs: :hugs: xxxxx
Sometimes Mirry when I feel really panicky I say in my head "oh just f**k off will you - I'm busy", really agressively like and that helps. It depends whether its a sad panic or a fierce one.
If it's a sad one then I come flying down the road with my coat billowing out behind me like Batman, going faster than Linford Christie ever could - over taking motorbikes at full rev and then I collapse in a heap on the lounge floor till someone brings me a tube of pringles and the latest NEXT catalogue and my box of crystals to hug!!
Hun we are all in the same boat here and really should all live together in a commune. :yesyes:
Piglet :flowers:
Alabasterlyn
17-09-07, 13:33
Hi Mirry, I wish I could offer some sage advice, but I'm pretty much in the same boat as you myself, but I can totally empathise with how you are feeling right now.
I've also tried pretty much every therapy and medication going too but to no avail and you end up feeling like you are banging your head against a brick wall when this awful illness just won't go away.
I've lost touch with most of my friends over the years because I just can't handle people coming to visit when I am on my own, so I can understand how you feel about someone you haven't seen for 13yrs wanting to come visit :ohmy:
I wish I had a magic wand I could wave over all of us. I wish everyone who criticises us for 'being weak' could spend a day in our shoes and realise just how difficult every single day of every single week of every single year can be.
I really hope things get better for you and for everyone else who is feeling like this right now :hugs:
Mirry hunny:hugs:
I am so sorry this happened this morning. I do understand how awful it is especially if in other areas we have been doing so well.
You seem to have a good understanding of 'why' your panic is there. ie the attack in the playground? Have you had counselling and received any sort of validation for how awful that experience was? it cannot help if your attacks are being belittled by comments like 'what now?' please remember that comments like that are the problem of the other person and their inability to understand, empathise or at the very least, patience.
Mirry, you said yourself that you are not your panic attack. That is so true hun. Yes, it is part of you, and a most unpleasant part when it is happening. But you are so much more than that. You are a lovely person who cares about things.
I am not best at advice as I sometimes feel hypocritical. However, I wonder how you feel about yourself? I ask as my panic often comes from low self esteem. I worry about what people are thinking of me and whilst I am not trying to change myself to be more like another person, when I feel low I think people in the playground think I am a terrible person. When I feel better emotionally, I have less panics.
I had a run of reoccurring of panics recently and it was definately linked to my low self esteem.
The other thing I fel helped me, is effective treatment of my depressive episodes. When they are lessened, so are my panics.
Hope you are feeling better hunny. Have lots of these :hugs: from me. remeber, you are a lovely person and a mother. Your daughter will be fine.
Happyone
xxx
Hi Mirry
I think the feeling of failure and of guilt add to our turbulent emotions.
Over the past few months I have been exploring these feelings with a councillor.
As a mother we (and everyone else) tend to think we are Superwoman - we HAVE to Do everything for everybody. BUT WHAT DO WE EVER DO FOR US???
What pleasure do we have solely for us? The books say have a nice bath with candles etc Mmmmm - Mom where is this - mom i can't find.....
Calm bath? yeah right. Next bright idea.
Enough of this rant.
I did have reflexology - it made me very calm - My body does not do calm and i panicked all the next day - I am quite annoyed because it was a lovely feeling.
All I can suggest is take one day at a time - today you may be OK tomorrow might be rough - think about what was nice today....... just try loving your self you are a smashing person. Best wishes June
Hi paddington, While your husband said come on ... mine said oh here we bloody go again!!!
Hi..
Mirry, i am SO sorry that you are feeling poopy. I'm the same as you, just can't see any way out. Tired from fighting something thats so much stronger than me. I've tried the meds...but from ONE really horrendous experience, i am too scared to try any others, and this weekend my husband expects me to start taking Cipralex otherwise he's off *again!!!*. If he can't see me making any positive step to get well, then he can't be with me. Pressure or what!?
Its so easy for us to say we failed. Flipping heck, i do it ALL the time, but hang on....you DIDN'T FAIL because you took your child to school. Thats not failing, thats going despite feeling crap. Be bloody proud of yourself!!!
I spoke a man in Sainburys on Friday afternoon, his wife is almost 85 and has suffered with her "nerves" for all of their marriage, thats 60 odd years. He cannot bare people who are unsypathetic to anxiety/panic sufferers. In his words "If you've got your arm bandaged people pity you and wish you well, if you say you have "nerve" issues then they say *Pull yourself together*!" Isn't this so true!?
This very morning i panicked while taking my boy to school. Right now i am walking the longer way round because otherwise it only takes us ONE minute and i am TRYING to get my boy a little more exercise. It takes roughly 3 - 4 minutes to go the other way. At the point of no return today i started feeling crap but i knew it was better to go forward than backwards. The school was in my sight. I tried to run the rest of the way, but i was knackered from working all weekend! By the time i got to school i was sweating with my panicky heart racing like i'd run a flipping marathon.
I came home to my husband and didn't even tell him that i panicked. Whats the point!? He already looks at me as if i am sh*t on his shoes. He'd moaned at my right before going out about not being able to get to the chinese takeaway down the road, "You use to be able to do it". UGH!!!!!! I KNOW I DID!!!
Please, don't feel down on yourself, that only fuels the panic!
Easier said than done huh!?
TAKE CARE....
xxx
Bluebell , I am so sorry you feel crap too :hugs: , I wish I had the answers for us with regards to the pills, I need something.
June, thank you for kind words , I would love to try reflexolgy, it sound like bliss , wouldnt it be great to be married to one or even better a good doctor ,lol.
Happyone , yep I do have very bad self esteem , I have done courses on it but I always slip back into being me :blush: .
wow Nigel , you sound very clued up on all this ! I have done some hypnotherapy at home , infact I have downloaded some before too , I will check out that one you have listed , thanks.
Aberlasterlyn, when my old friend phoned I nearly died on the spot , we used to be such a laugh together ...how could I let her see me again ?
sorry you have these problems too . xxx
PIGLET !!! Funny you mention swearing at my panic attacks because I remember i used to do that , anger can move mountains sometimes but it takes alot of energy :wacko: .
Had more upset tonight , my son came home from school and had been beaten up ! He has aspergers syndrome so didnt retaliate at all , so I had to phone the school and report it. A boy threw him on his head in the playground and kicked him with another boy.
My son doesnt know why they attacked him ? But another boy at the school was beaten up too by the same boys and they broke his new shoes and stole his glasses. My panic is going thru the roof, I cant even go into the school for a meeting about this.
Mirry it's a shame were not nearer as I would give you a complimentary reflexology session - I'm doing youngest piglet regularly since she's back at school cos she's in her last year and is already stressed.
I felt so sad to hear about the horrible day your son had today - what do you think you are going to do about it - and how is he feeling now???
Big hugs:hugs:
Love Piglet :flowers:
nomorepanic
17-09-07, 22:43
Mirry - sorry to read all of this but you will get there.
How is the drinking water going - thought that was helping loads?
Nicola , I drank the water on saturday but still panicked , dont know if i drank enough or not ? Also I had taken an antihistamine so It should of worked like it has so many times before. The hospital tell me I have a inner ear disorder but when I panicked yesturday I felt dizzy and breathless all in one go , so I couldnt say what caused it. Ive got to do the school run again this morning and already my anxiety is way to high.
Piglet, I wish we all lived near each other , like you said one community where we could just panic in front of each other without feeling ashamed.
Yes of course you do the reflexology !!! silly me, I knew that didnt I.
Last night I didnt sleep , I found out my son has been bullied for a very long time by these boys, apparently they often grab him and throw him to the floor (my son is small), they have broken 2 of his bags without me knowing how they broke and last week ripped his trousers. He has a bump on his head and his ribs hurt where they kicked him.
I spoke to the school last night, they said they will speak to the boys parents "yeah right" apparently they are a very rough family and there are lots of them all over this area!
So the school tell me, because its serious , there will be a meeting with the parents and then they will decide what will happen. They want me to send him into school still (ha ha) i dont think so. Trouble is my son wont tell me if hes being bullied, I dont trust the school at all.
I said to the teacher ,
"would you go into work if your were being attacked "
will let you know what happens.
I've just taken time to read that post, and the last part really touched me.
To hear that you suffer from a lot of panic as it is, then to hear your son get bullied makes me want to cry because I can just imagine how difficult everything must be right now and how tragic it all is.:weep:
I just think it is digusting what some people do. For students to badly mistreat people like that is abysmal. I do hope your son is alright, and I actually believe the students who have done those horrid things should be expelled or suspendid for a long period of time. Okay, so these students may be having problems, which might be why they take it out on other people, although I do think that what they were doing to your son is completely unacceptable. I mean, what did he ever do wrong for for that to happen to him?
I also hope you're feeling alright, although with what happened I can fully understand why you wouldn't be. Make sure your drinking lot's of water as it does help to reduce the panicky symtoms, and also alond with that perhaps try eating some fish, or if you do perhaps just eat a little extra more than you usually do since fish is supposed to be good for the brain.
Doing exercise, like the breathing excercie of sitting down and breathing slowly in it out will help two. Please don't give up though, because you are doing well to cope with it all despite how pressuring it must feel. Life is such a wonderful gift, it's just nice that we exist and that we can admire it's beauty with all of the fun things and stuff there is to look forward to. Oviously when you panic, it's harder to appreciate it because of the uncomfortableness, but even if you never fully recover, living with it still means you can have a good life. Think about it this way, imagine if there was no such thing as life and it was all nothing, it would just be horrible. No space to admire, no beautiful plants and countryside and mountains to see, and no animals, no books, no TV, no weather and no food and drinks to enjoy eating. I've actually tried saying this with some panicky people I know and they often say it would be torture if life and nothing ever existed and that shows they must like living. I'm not sayting however, that you don't no how to cope with living, it was just a bit of extra resurance for you there.:)
Here, have a quadrouble hug from me :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:and hope everthing gets back to better shape soon for you and your family.
Hey Mirry, i know what you mean about the mum thing,
I thought i had an epileptic twinge last night and i was panicked and all she could say was you know your really annoying me now
Cheers, i haven't stopped crying yet.
its like, i know they've had enough of my constant health worries but do they honestly think that thats my intention, that i'm thinking how far can i push it, just one more illness to think of. i was crapping myself and still am for that matter but its like its too overwhelming
not just what its doing to me but i don't want it to hurt anyone else, does it ever stop??
sorry for the moan
How are things today hun?
Love Piglet :flowers:
:) hey zanxiety,
i think your post is very supportive and sweet, and i 100% get what your saying, i hope mirry and the other agoro sufferers can feel inspired by what your saying?
the only prob is that when your mood is so very low, it is very difficult like you said to see ANY joy in life, you know its there, you know youve felt it before, but somehow you can never make it to the place where you can be the person that you were meant to be before you became so controlled by your fearful thoughts?
agorophobia is slightly different to all the other anxiety disorders, because the main feature of it is AVOIDANCE, so therefore i think only a fellow agoro sufferer can truly understand the how you feel if you have become agorophobic.
now i know that anxiety and panic are the same for EVERYONE, there is no argument there, but agorophobia is about the lengths you will go to, to avoid panic and that is the one difference, an agoro sufferer restricts there life in almost every area so as not to feel panic, it affects, work, travel, relationships, hobbies, and eventually it affects the person themselves so they are in an almost permanent battle with themselves about almost everything - answering the door, being alone, not being alone, going a short way from home, things the kids are doing, things the other half is doing, EVERYTHING is affected.
so when somebody is so bogged down in their agorophobia, (when they are not bogged down they are probably kidding themselves because otherwise how can they survive? you have to ignore it to carry on for your family, you cant just lie down and wallow in it can you? and we carry on as best we can)
it is almost imposible to look around and be thankful to be alive.
but maybe by doing this you can actually feel better, because you take the pressure off, to become 'NORMAL'.
we are all worthy mirry, i dont know what started your low self-esteem, mine was triggered by having panic!!! it was a vicious circle! i had anxiety/panic, i isolated myself coz i felt like a freak, and then i felt more anxious. until ofcourse i came here and saw i wasnt a freak, if i am then all the other agoro sufferers are aswell!!! and i know your not, because ive spoke to a few and they are very very nice people(almost too nice for their own good really!) and they deserve to feel as good about themselves as ANYONE, and by that i mean ANYONE!!!!! it doesnt matter what you havent acheived in life you are important just for being you!!! if you can start to BELEIVE this you will start to conquer your panic symptoms, you cant do it while you think your not worthy.
anyway enough of the ramble, i hope you all start to feel better soon, it can be done!!! ive just had a very miserable 2 weeks but im feeling brighter and ready to battle on and im here to help and support anyone else in the same position.
love and best wishes emma
Lovely post Emma and its so true.
Being SO consumed by your agoraphobia is horrendous. Flipping heck, going out is "normal", its something that people do everyday, its part of LIFE. But having that taken from you, through no fault of your own.......whats left?? There isn't much.
(I am speaking of my personal point of view of course, not saying that everyone else's life is as sh*t as mine!)
x
:) hey zanxiety,
i think your post is very supportive and sweet, and i 100% get what your saying, i hope mirry and the other agoro sufferers can feel inspired by what your saying?
the only prob is that when your mood is so very low, it is very difficult like you said to see ANY joy in life, you know its there, you know youve felt it before, but somehow you can never make it to the place where you can be the person that you were meant to be before you became so controlled by your fearful thoughts?
agorophobia is slightly different to all the other anxiety disorders, because the main feature of it is AVOIDANCE, so therefore i think only a fellow agoro sufferer can truly understand the how you feel if you have become agorophobic.
Hi emma,
Why thank you very much that. Very appreciated.:yesyes:
But I will admit, that since I don't suffer from panic as bad as agorophobia myself I do find that part hard to imagine what it must be like for someone else.
sammiB , heres a hug for you :hugs: , please dont cry , and you can moan as much as you want or need to cos we are all here for each other ,xxx.
zanxiety , thank you so much for taking the time to write, I am still waiting to hear what is going to happen to the bully at school , trouble is we as parents are powerless against these things. I hate feeling so helpless with the panic attacks let alone with my sons bullys.Thanks so much for the tips, I love doing mindfulness and really need to focus more on it.
Emma, i think my low self esteem came from my panic attacks , But I used to always be a bit shy in crowds , but always coped with it.:blush: .
Bluebell , its horrible feeling so down about life , but we can all talk to each other which is something I suppose , have another hug from me :hugs: .
today I took my daughter to school , and .........:weep:
oh what is happening to me , I was so nervous and felt off blaanced when i was walking there and back, It got quiet embarrasing because I fell into a bush :blush: , my right arm is all scratched . Do you think the anxiety made me do that or my inner ear disorder ?
Im so fed upI came home and cried YET AGAIN !!!
The school still havent phoned , today like they are supposed to do, My son is home with me and doesnt want to go to school ever again he told me :ohmy: .
Hi Mirry
Sorry you are having such a hard time :hugs:
Hugs for your son too :hugs:
Is there any way someone from the school could call to visit you at home to try to resolve the situation? This cannot be allowed to continue.
Thinking of you mate :hugs:
Karen xx
:) hi mirry,
could your son go to another school? i absolutely hate saying this, as much as i hate bullying(what are all these anti-bullying campaigns for? what do they acheive?), but your son probably needs to be in school.
why do they always always get away with it? even if you ring or go into the school and ask for your son to be moved class, your gonna feel let down, coz why they hell should your son have to move class when hes done nothing wrong!!! gggggrrrrr it makes me soooo mad!!! im very sorry you and your boy are going through this, especially when your feeling so bad already.
but, do you think he will be better off with you? also i suppose that we have to help thenm to toughen up in some ways coz i was mollycoddled and it never did me any good!!! but obviously physical violence cannot be allowed.
do schools have to answer to anyone? is there somewhere where you can complain and say your sons school hasnt dealt with the bullying to your satisfaction? just a thought? i really wish i knew how to help you!
all the best emma
cant believe the school didnt even phone me !
The other boy who got beaten up by them cant go to school until next week cos it will take that long for his glasses to be ready.
Emma, because my son is in special needs , I was thinking of complaining to the head department of special needs today, what do you think ?
Since last friday i have had a panic attack every single day, its like I am back at the begining of this illness,,, Im going backwards.
Hi Mirry,
Please excuse me for butting in Firstly i would like to send you so many hugs mirry as "bullying" is horrendous and really does take its toll not only on the child involved but on the parents also:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Secondly if the school have not rang you by mid day today you could try and phone the Local Education Authority (LEA) for your area and make them aware of what has happened and how your son does not want to go to school etc, In the past i have found the LEA seem to act more promptly and efficiently than the school do and also offer some fantastic advice on how to approach the school via letters etc, whilst you are doing this they will also be looking into things there end.
Mirry you are a fantastic caring mum :hugs:
Hope this has helped a little and you can get things resolved satisfactorily soon
Brightest Angel Blessings
Mystics :flowers:
:hugs: hi mirry,
yeah what mystics says, is what i meant, if the school are rubbish at dealing with you then you complain!!!!!
also, you have to understand (im sure you do, but may have forgotten, because panic does that!) that EVERY time you face a panic provoking situation you are more than likely going to panic!!!! it isnt the panic youve got to get rid of mirry, coz it cant hurt you!!!! its your response to it that has to change!
same here with me, i currently am terrified of being on my own, if i dont know where ppl are, dont have their mobiles and they dont ring me!!! i can literally have hours and hours of anticipatory anxiety mirry, just about being a couple of miles apart from my husband, incase i cant drive through town to get to him!!!! it is utterly barmy mirry! the panic attack cannot hurt me, but i so doubt my ability to deal with it alone now (because my crutch was to turn to other ppl to distarct me!) that after worrying about it for long enough i always give in!!!
so although our actual panics are being created by different triggers they are still exactly the same - we want to avoid panic at all costs, because of what we think may happen and also because we doubt how well we can cope!!
mirry, although you feel ill, you are not ill - there is nothing wrong with your brain!!!! it is only a habit that we have got into, which then leads to this vicious circle of self- doubt, which in turn means you are more suceptible to panic! anybody would be!!! the panic attack is REAL, we all know this, i am not saying you are not feeling terrible, i know you are, because i am too, but the more you tell yourself this the worse it actually gets!!!
you can get over this mirry, we all can, but we need support and care and i dont think many of us agoros are likely to get that care in our own communities, unless you are lucky enough to have a friend who is the same!(highly unlikely) so we just keep coming here and help each other through it.
firstly though you have to BELEIVE you can do somrthing about it, and also you have to accept that you are not ill!!! this is actually stopping you from recovering, you are not a helpless victim to a physical illness!!! you just have a battle going on inside you because of irrational fear! you know this!!! and now we have to find the courage to put it into practice!!! when youve been avoiding panic for years and years to the extent that we have, why would you think it would just go away? that is crazy, as soon as you do the things youve been avoiding you are without doubt going to get panicky!!! its so obvious!!! so when you accept that the only way to get better is to panic alot, then you have to work out a way to cope with it!!! this is the hardest part, because we do all of these other things to help us and to stop the panic from getting so strong that we lose control! - when actually we know deep inside that we will never lose control!!! you cannot l;ose control from having a panic attack, because it is just the fight or flight reaction and it cant and doesnt last!!! it only lasts until the emergency is over, and in our casebecause there ias no emergency it only lasts for as long as we keep frightening ourselves about the symptoms in our bodies!!!
i know you want to get over this mirry, we all do, i do sooo much it hurts!!! and we can!!! lots of support to you emma:hugs:
I think that's a very good idea of Mystics - the school will know you mean business then.
Love Piglet :flowers:
emma, thank you for writing such a positive post, I think when we are feeling low its difficult to be so positive, It is my reaction to the situation that is the main problem I agree, but for some strange reason lately I just cant stop it ?
I am trying so hard , with all my might, thank your for your encouragement.
Mystics , I will do that , thank you for your support , I will let you know how it goes .
p.s: I love the "Angel blessings" xxx
:yesyes: hey mirry,
i know where your coming from, coz i feel exactly the same!!!!
you just gotta keep going and we will have a breakthrough, i promise!!! just coming here and chatting to each other and feeling connected may be enough to just give us that little bit of extra courage?
lots of best wishes to you emma:hugs:
Mirry,
Hello, I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. It seems that we all go through periods like this, when everything can an will set your panic into motion. I wish that we all could get better. You have to give yourself credit, you took your daughter to school that is way more than I could do. I know that I to feel that panic an anxiety takes so much away from our lives.
I try each day to be thankful for something that has gone right. Have you tried any of the all natural meds. I am currently using them and they don't have all the side effects that the regular meds. seem to cause.
Please hang in there together we all can get through this.:hugs:
thanks guys , you have kept me going thru this horrible blip more than you will ever know. My hospital specialist is saying he is going to give me a drug to try to help with my off balance problems (fingers crossed), cos I just cant carry on like this.
As for the school , I phoned the authorities today and well they were not much good at all, they told me to make contact with the school again because if they havent phoned me back I should phone them.
So I phoned them up and they told me that they will get the head to phone me at 3.30pm , BUT still no phonecall yet !
My son has already taken 2 days off so now he wont be going to school tomorrow. His friends knocked my door tonight and told me the same boy has today punched a girl in the arm who has special needs and she took a fit !
what on earth is this horrible boy doing in the school ?
Im starting to get really angry about this situation...and the boys also told me that someone found a knife in the playing fields today.
Im horrified.
Mirry I think I would be feeling very much the same hun - I think even if the head couldnt phone you back someone from school should have!!!!!
Love Piglet :flowers:
No they never phoned :lac:
today is their last chance to sort this out as far as i am concerned. I am going to write a letter of complaint today.
I walked my daughter to school today and was ok walking (bit off balance)but once in the playground OMG ! There were so many people moving about everywhere and kids running back and forth , I was very off balanced and then panicky.
Ive got slimming world tonight and have eaten for England this week with all the stress :blush: .
Morning Mirry,
So sorry to hear that the school STILL havent returned your calls :mad: , but in a way it doesnt suprise me as schools are "supposed" to have a strict anti bullying policy in place so they never like to admit they do have a problem.
Just a quick thought have you contacted any of the Anti Bullying Charities??
Good Luck with your letter of complaint please remember to tell them you have sought advice from the local LEA (they dont have do know they werent much good, but should hopefully let them know you mean business!!)
WELL DONE with walking your daughter to school Mirry that is fantastic :yesyes:
Good Luck also with Slimming World and dont go beating yourself up if you have put on a little, tomorrow is another day so they say :hugs:
How is your lad now?
Brightest Angel Blessings
Mystics:flowers:
Playgrounds are funny arent they - all the people milling about make you feel abit on the outside looking in, couple that with your inner ear prob and you are bound to feel abit 'off' in that environment. Cut yourself some slack and tell a few of your mates if you havent already that you condition causes you dizziness there - then you know if you do feel dizzy/off balance you can tell someone you know and that release some of the fear of it.
As regards school - you need to treat this matter firmly, I would take the advice Mystics just said and the best of luck with it.
Love Piglet :flowers:
Paddington
20-09-07, 11:26
Hi Mirry hun..soz neen off line for a while ..poorly tum:mad: All the advice you have been given is wonderful..i love emma's posts:hugs: ..one thing is vital as Piglet said TELL people you have these issues with dizzinness and panic..you would be surprised how freeing this is..took me joining here to learn that:D Another pointer is counting ..i know it is in the main menu somwhere as i put it there ages ago[lets be honest how often do we look for helpful hints in the midst of panic and despair:shrug: ]Piglet described the fleeing mechanism..perfecty[and with great humour,but not funny at the time hey Piglet:flowers: ]..the flight or fight response is the pinnacle of the attack so we speed up, OUR pace quickens we want to run ..etc..Now ..this is when we should SLOW DOWN..COUNT YOUR STEPS ...S. .L ..O.. W.. L.. Y..one and two and three and ..so on..keep at it do..keep.. counting..Counting WORKS as it uses another part of the brain and so decreases the need for adrenalin..medical fact!And it works ..it has gotten me places i never dreamed i could go..Counting backwards is good too..as soon as the anticipatory feeling of panic starts COUNT!..As for your lad..this is beyond disgraceful..the attitude of the school ,not phoning you..oh yes complain Mirry..also is this other child the bully shall we say ,has he special needs ??There should be teachers and assistants in the playground at all times in every school but more per child when special needs children are pupils there..i know as i trained in this area and so did my Daughter ..who still works in this area..Is your Son intergrated into main stream school Mirry..they have a DUTY to protect him!This is why i like the idea of special needs schools. My Daughter worked in one near to us and it is a wonderful school ..one to one nearly with the staff and pupils..sadley her part time contract was terminated ..why??lack of funds ..no surprise there really is there!Of course that is personal choice but there should be a choice at least..mainstream or special needs schools..Mirry i hope this gets resolved really quickly for you and your Son..now get counting!Lots of love and hugs :hugs: Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
:hugs: Once again some great advise , what would I do without you all ?
Paddington , I will do the counting thing , that is a good idea because I do speed up when i panic ,lol , you described it so well that it was weird :ohmy: .
Piglet , your right about the playground being hectic , i just feel im falling to he left , then to the right and its difficult staying up :wacko: . I will take the advise of Mystic (thanks Mystic)and mention the LEA in the letter.
I have just spoken to my daughters friends mum on the phone and forgot she is a part time police woman (shes on maternity leave), when i casually told her about what happened to my son , she told me to phone the police and report it ! , she told me if that happened in the street then they would be arrested for assult so why should it be any different in a school ?
So now Im sitting here thinking OMG what should I do ?
I am going to phone the school right now, will report back.
Just phoned the school , got told there was no one to talk to me and they would phone me back :mad: , I told her that I didnt believe that and if no ones phoned me within the hour I am going to the police :blush: .
Suddenly she was very very nice to me and said they will phone , yeah i bet they will ..........Im sick of this.
Also , my specialists secretary phoned me back and told me that I have a prescription to collect form my doctors for my balance, he told her i have VESTIBULAR VISUAL VERTIGO :wacko: .
my housework just isnt getting done , do you find when your stressed the housework falls behind ? its like i cant concentrate .
Paddington
20-09-07, 13:54
ooh mirry ..how very frustrating..this school's out of order hun..you ARE IN THE RIGHT HERE MATE..DONT LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS SLOPPY TREATMENT OF YOU AND YOUR SON:mad: ..Hey the diagnosis is better than the menieres disease hey hun:) ..HOUSE WORK:shrug: you mean i am SUPPOSED TO CLEAN THE HOUSE..give me a break..lol...:D Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxx
lol paddie, you do make me laugh.
Well the school got in touch !!!
Last night my sons school phoned me (at last).
They told me this boy has been set a punishment but they are not able to disclose what that punish is , he also has to report to the office at lunch times and break times. And apparently his mother was in tears (poor lady)lol.
Anyway my son has gone back to school today because he told me he will not get to attack my son again (hope hes right).
So I told him , tell the parents and the boy that if he touches my son again I will just go straight to the police next time straight away.
I would of done it this time except I was told they are a rough family ...I couldnt handle the stress.
so hopefully all's well that ends well ?
So now I am anxiously waiting to see how my son is after school today.
oooo forgot to say I took my FIRST anti dizziness and vertigo medicine today,
It seemed to help only a little bit, but I do have to take it 3 times a day so maybe it builds up in the system ?
Well I am very pleased to hear that the matter has reached a conclusion and hope that will help you and your son feel abit better hun.
Meanwhile keep taking your meds and with any luck the dizziness will be under control and that will make the school run less of an ordeal.
Big hug :hugs:
Piglet :flowers:
Hi Mirry,
glad you got some kind of feedback from the school.:hugs:
Happyone
xx
oh no , I have just doen the school run again and dropped my daughter off down the road cos I couldnt face going any further, then I rushed home and burst into tears again :weep: . I just cant carry on like this, my friends asked me to meet her and go to the shops but I just cant do it anymore.
How have I come to go this far backwards ? I was doing everything before the summer holidays , even if I panicked I was managing it, but now Its like I am right back at the begining and I cant stop crying about it.
Also I have to walk a different way to school cos they are doing building work at the front of the building.
I feel so terrible, I cant fight it anymore, I feel devastated because of my children WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ?
Mirry, everyone has setbacks - EVERYONE - thats all this is. You know you have got through worse than this before.
You know that the fears are irrational - the problem is (like me) you cannot control them.
It takes only the smallest change in routine to throw us into turmoil. Or even a change in the weather anything can do it.
NOW have a good cry. Have a cup of tea. and then do something like a crossword / clean out the cutlery draw / change the bed linen - anything to use up some of that extra energy. THEN have another cup of tea and get the children from school with a brave heart. You and I have to have faith in our selves - the fear strikes so fast we have no time to prepare our relaxation ideas.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ? you ask? a bit of tiredness / you stuggle so hard - and sometimes you win (the good days) others days are like today "a right pain" chin up keep on trying it has got to get better small steps get there just the same.
Hugs and best wishes to you Mirry
June
Awww, you're situation sux...and so does mine and so do all of ours probably. I was going through a real bad patch a couple of weeks ago. It was a battle to go to work each day and I just couldn't shake the feeling that I was on a scary downward spiral that would lead from one bad thing to the other...major panic attacks, lose control, not be able to work, lose my life as I know it...
Fortunately times like that rarely last for too long. Life is cyclicle and better days...good days are just around the corner. Realising this is part of stopping the process in its tracks. Yeah you are having a dip right now but tomorrow will be different. Just please understand this is temporary and your fear that its not only fuels it. Trust me..
If I were you I'd just stay clear of caffeine and alcohol and anything else that is tough on your stomach and hard to digest...like red meats and dairy, even chocolate. Just simple foods are best. Sit in a comfy chair and do breathing exercises for a 20 mins or so...do this before you go to sleep as well. Staying positive is key so try not to catasthropize everything, just live in the moment and tell yourself its not that bad. Turn that anxious energy into excitement - that there will be a time that you will feel better.
honeybee3939
24-09-07, 19:05
Aww Mirry
Have a hug from me hun :hugs: :hugs: ,I have had blips too and they are awful.:hugs:
Where all behind you mirry, you show that anxiety its not going to beat you !!! Please try and stay positive although i know it s hard at times.:hugs:
Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx
Hey hun,
a step back does not mean back to the beginning, it is just a little step back and we can soon get on course again! Remeber the tale of the tortoise and the hare? Slow and easy wins hun, you don't have to beat yourself up cos you don't think you are getting there, you are!:hugs:
Happyone
xxx
thanks for the kind replys , last night I went to bed early 8.45pm because I felt so emotionally drained. I cried so much yesturday, its kind of like a breavment of me and how I used to be, then I feel guilty, guilty because other people have terrible problems yet keep smiling and cope better than me. Guilty because my husband got more than he bargained for when he married me and then of course the kids.
Doctor gave me some pills yesturday and Im gonna give them a go, they are called sertraline. I hate taking pills but desperate times and all that.
Everything you all said made perfect sence , I am sure it is a just a set back.
oh well off to do another school run now and then Work for 3 hours , terrified already which doesnt help.
take care
Hey Mirry, read about my experience of TFT in the Therapy section. EFT is similar and you can find free guides on how to do it online. It seems weird but I recommend you give it a try. Today I finally attended a meeting at work that I've been avoiding for 2 months and I felt good.
Thanks thedood
I used to dabble in a bit of EFT from somewhere online once, but didnt give it a serious go, I also picked up a book all about pressure points in the body that the chinese doctors use but didnt do it that much .
I will go check out your other post, cos I am really interested, thanks for letting me know :hugs:
well I managed to get my daughter to school without freaking out :yesyes: ,
im not saying it was easy (far from it) but I did it .
Then I went to work and felt all unbalanced walking , once I arrived at the old ladys house I took a panic attack :blush: , so I asked her for a glass of water and end up drinking 2 big glasses full and I think that helped a little, but every now and then i felt my heart rate speed up really fast.
Once I got home I took my first sertraline pill at 2pm but i cheated and cut it in half , and have been feeling really panicky ever since which is silly really cos I havent taken much :shrug: . I find Im looking for symptoms in my body, like at the moment i have a tingly feeling in my fingers on my left hand but Im determined to give it my best shot.
hope you all had had a better day than me :wacko: .
Hi Mirry
Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time at the moment.
You will be bringing on the panic attacks by associating the panic with the school run. I do this all the time. Because I am expected it at certain times - I bring it on myself. Wish I knew how to stop it though.
Hope your feeling better soon x
knightbabe
25-09-07, 21:09
I agree with panic1971 as I associate my panic with driving. So if I know I have to drive the panic sets in. But I am working on it by pushing myself to drive. At the start I would just let my partner drive us everywhere but I am now offering to drive.
Mirry I wish I had words of advice to offer but I find it hard myself to do things.
Leigh
More hugs for you Mirry - give the tabs a chance hun and see if they help, I know it may not help but we've all been there and we all have blips. The whole balance thing has really knocked you for six hun and once that is properly sorted that will be another scary symptom that you won't have to deal with.
Love Piglet :flowers:
Piglet , I really do look drunk when I walk and when I get more nervous the more drunk i look :ohmy: .
1971 and knightsbabe, I have always been like this but was getting over it so this is such a dissapointment.
I wish I had the answer for us all , heres a big hug for every one whos suffering with this horrible condition
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs::hugs: :hugs:
I thought I'd write a quick message since I've just joined. I've had panic attacks since the age of 11. At 15 I was on betablockers and at 22 on valium when I was hospitalised. I used alcohol to curb the panic - vicious circle. I've just started taking cipramil again - 20mg. I'm weathering the side effects which I expected and my anxiety is hideous in the morning but it does subside. I accept that I need to take these tablets at the moment - I'm a single mum living in Cambodia with a stressful job. But to be honest I'm sick of panic attacks ruling my life - having to manipulate situations so I can avoid doing certain things - it's no way to live. Anyway I'm on day 5 - the insomnia and vomiting have passed but I can't eat and am now feeling drowsy but hey ho if they were a miracle drug everyone would be taking them!!:)
Pigspeed , Your absolutely right, the medication may help in some way but effect us in other ways, 5 days is too soon to know how its gonna be for you, your doing the right thing hanging on in there, I wish you all the best with it and I forgot to say WELCOME :blush: ,,,:hugs:
When I was getting the acute horrible symptoms last night and early this morning I thought of giving up already (im not brave).
But this morning I walked my daughter half way to school and she carried on walking the rest of the way with my friend and her child :weep: .
Then I bumped into a man I know whos just had a recent heart attack, so I had to stop and ask how he is , I felt really anxious like I was gonna panic but I didnt :yesyes: , so part of me is thinking .....are these pills helping already ? and the thought of be able to walk my daughter to school again is spurring me on.
:flowers:
Paddington
26-09-07, 11:01
Dearest mirry :hugs: oh boy these set backs are vile mate..asyou say we grieve for our former selves..but hun..our former selves were ok but we did not have a deep understanding of others' pain and despair ..we did not have each other and we may have been rather fab but now we are ultra ruddy amazing:) How about takin up my offer of a phone buddy..know that when you go to school ,if you feel awobble you can call me or txt me and i WILL understand..have you told other folk in the playground yet about your probs hun..oooh i have turned into an anxiety bore..even told my milkman..passing strangers etc:blush: :wacko: when i had my last panic attack..asyou say out of the blue no time for counting etc..i told the chap on the stall !!![i was at a fete]as i had had to walk off and take meds etc..i told him..soz i've been so long,i've just had a panic attack..he said ,oh dear what did you do??PANICKED ..SAID I..LOL!!!See ,no thunder claps no sharp intake of breath..no bell ringing out ..unclean!!:ohmy: Dont be so hard on yourself hun..this will pass..you are doing a fab job hun and we are all really proud of you:hugs: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
paddie, honestly you really do make me laugh :D , I have your number on me now , your such a kind person :hugs: , I couldnt get any lower than I have been lately and to have people like you out there willing to help me just makes me feel so not alone . Bless you :hugs: .
Mirry,
I also have a young daughter, they are hard work sometimes hey? I really would suggest trying an antidepresannt, they are not a miraculous cure but they can make you feel a little better. I took cipramil in 2000 and have just started taking them again last friday. My head felt as if it was going to burst, I kept being sick, I couldn't eat or sleep and I felt sick with anxiety. Day six and I still feel very jittery, get hot flushes and can't eat but I'm hanging in there. I know that they will help in the longterm and feel I owe it to myself to give them a go. There was a time when I couldn't go outside and even running across the road to the shop was a huge ordeal but I don't feel like that anymore. I hope you feel better soonx
my gp gave me some pills , I took one then I kept getting horrible thoughts about what my gp said, he said about it increases the risk of suicide, yet I have never even concidered this but I got so concerned I couldnt take another, yes I know it sounds daft but I was so afraid, it was almost like OCD. Then it didnt help with my mother on the phone telling me pills are not good , and then going on about someone at her work doing suicide, I just didnt want to hear about it .
I took my dog for a walk along the shore where i live last night to relax, but this lady walking her dogs told me she was diabetic and how she felt ill and didnt have her medication with here, so we had to phone her husband to bring her it , she asked me to keep talking to her, so I got all panicky (so much for a nice walk) .
woke up today and cried, my hubby told me I need to focus on the positives in my life, nice house , nice hubby , nice kids.......and hes right , he said so what if you pass out at the shops on the floor, people will help you and then you will feel better! but i tried to explain to him then I will dwell on the next attack, which makes me depressed.
oh well another school run now , take care all :hugs:
I totally identify Mirry hun you know I do!! :hugs:
Both of us though need to work on not caring what people think more - I do panic occassionally at home when I am on my own but it passes so much quicker and is not usually a big deal so I forget about it and move on - so I need to take this approach to panicking out of the home too.
It's hard mate but will get there - while we trying we are set to succeed ok!! :yesyes:
Love Piglet :flowers:
arhhh Hunni i know how it feels.... the way you got to see itis that it cant get any worse.... it can only get better now. i find when i have an attack it makes me anxoius for days or even weeks after. Theres is not alot you can do but just hold on like you would a roller coster, just ride it out. its never gonna hurt you. even though i know it feels like your going to pass out your not..... just run around when it happens jump up and down..... anything to take your mind of it. message me whenever you like and we can chat. But just dont worry, there is nothing that bad in the word that you need to worry about nothing at all. You will be just fine.... Hang on in there it will pass soon be strong and strong mined if you must shout at it tell it to bugger off i do. it works for me . xxx
Mirry hunny,
docs tell people these things cos they have to. I have had countless pills and as someone who does have suicidal thoughts (irrational ones) they have never made me feel that way.
Mirry, you may know that to focus on the positives in life is what would help, but it is so difficult to do if you don't feel good.
You are a great person and with time I am sure you will get there.
happyone
xx
thanks everyone for all your support, I am so happy to report that i HAVE picked up a bit in myself.
Infact today I went out and about in the car with my hubby and didnt panic at all !!! I am feeling brighter and am NOT taking the tablets. I dont know what tommorow brings but I just wanted you to know that when we get as low as we can get , the only way IS up!!!
Hi mirry, I have been reading your posts with great interest as I seem to be going through pretty much the same thing as you. I take it you didnt get on with the sertraline then? I have been doing it without any prescription meds. Tried all the herbal stuff. I just wanna tell you we can get through it without the meds and even sometimes when things are really bad you have to keep telling yourself that things will get better. I get so upset sometimes when I go out and have a panic for no reason what so ever. One day i can go out without any panic and another day I'm panicking all day! I am still gonna keep positive though. Like you said things can only get better.
Take care and keep thinking positive thoughts.
Simon
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