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24-06-19, 13:32
Hi everyone. I’m in a big black hole, and I need to climb out. I have been dealing with health anxiety for years and I know all the ways to cope and what not to do (reassurance seek, check, etc) but when my anxiety comes knocking at the door I let it right in and it’s really hard to get it to leave. You may know (you may not, and that’s fine) that recently I’ve been obsessed with my pee. Yes, my pee. I had bubbles in my pee a few times and googled it. Whoops. Sent myself into orbit. I bought urine test strips. I’ve used a ton of them, checking my pee for various things. I had a UA done yesterday at a clinic. All was clear. Last night I kinda hit rock bottom. I found trace protein in my pee with a couple of the strips, and became totally hysterical. I asked my sweet husband to pee in a cup so that I could check his pee and he kindly did. We ate the same high protein dinner so I felt I should check his too. So then I sat in the bathroom analyzing the color of my strip and his strip and stared for a long time, trying to determine how much of a color difference there was. My protein marker was yellow green. His was lighter yellow green. Mine was a tad more green. Anyway, see where I’m going? Nothing is ever good enough to appease me.
I need help making a plan and I need people to help to hold me accountable. Where do I start? It has to be small steps first or it won’t work.
All of you guys on this forum who come to ask for reassurance and spill all your health fears online should also make a plan. What you’re doing isn’t working. What I’ve been doing isn’t working.
I think I need to start by hiding the strips. Right?
I need help making a plan and I need people to help to hold me accountable. Where do I start? It has to be small steps first or it won’t work.
All of you guys on this forum who come to ask for reassurance and spill all your health fears online should also make a plan. What you’re doing isn’t working. What I’ve been doing isn’t working.
I think I need to start by hiding the strips. Right?