Trying To Understand Why We Do This To Ourselves

[lauren6]

I have been in and out of therapy for many years. I always saw a cognitive therapist and am seeing one now. I have read many books about health anxiety. I know the techniques but nobody explains why we bring on new worries and focus on a body part and create symptoms from sensations that other people wouldn't even notice. My therapist doesn't care about the why. He just tries to help me not be stressed. But every time I have a bad day of focusing on something, like today, I think I have to pee when I did a half hour ago...I don't have an infection...this happens and all I can think if why do I have a need to do this torturous thinking to myself? If something good comes along, I sabotage having a good time because I feel I can't...I am going to ruin it for myself. I just can't "be". I can't just go with the flow like other people. This darn anxiety has to kick in and ruin it for me. If anyone has figured this out or has a therapist or book that explains this well, please reply.

[NancyW]

The root cause is fear.

Hell if I know how to tame that.

[ChocolateButton]

I have been in and out of therapy for many years. I always saw a cognitive therapist and am seeing one now. I have read many books about health anxiety. I know the techniques but nobody explains why we bring on new worries and focus on a body part and create symptoms from sensations that other people wouldn't even notice. My therapist doesn't care about the why. He just tries to help me not be stressed. But every time I have a bad day of focusing on something, like today, I think I have to pee when I did a half hour ago...I don't have an infection...this happens and all I can think if why do I have a need to do this torturous thinking to myself? If something good comes along, I sabotage having a good time because I feel I can't...I am going to ruin it for myself. I just can't "be". I can't just go with the flow like other people. This darn anxiety has to kick in and ruin it for me. If anyone has figured this out or has a therapist or book that explains this well, please reply.

It is incredibly difficult, and what I try to tell myself, is that "it's not me, it's the anxiety". It takes over one's life in ways that cannot be explained satisfactorily to outsiders.

I too 'spoil' things with negative thoughts, etc, often when right in the middle of something that should be enjoyable. It makes me feel guilty. It hurts my husband. I try not to do it.

But I've found that, for reasons I really don't understand, that if I get too optimistic, too sure of myself, pretty soon something bad happens, as if the Universe is reminding me not to get too complacent, too cocky.

As a result, I don't let myself feel too confident about things nowadays. It's better that way.

[Scaredtoo]

It is incredibly difficult, and what I try to tell myself, is that "it's not me, it's the anxiety". It takes over one's life in ways that cannot be explained satisfactorily to outsiders.

I too 'spoil' things with negative thoughts, etc, often when right in the middle of something that should be enjoyable. It makes me feel guilty. It hurts my husband. I try not to do it.

But I've found that, for reasons I really don't understand, that if I get too optimistic, too sure of myself, pretty soon something bad happens, as if the Universe is reminding me not to get too complacent, too cocky.

As a result, I don't let myself feel too confident about things nowadays. It's better that way.

Wish I knew. I’m in a terrible spiral right now and even though I’m on meds and in therapy it’s been one of the worst relapses to date. It’s very upsetting and it’s depressing as well. I just tell myself I have to get through this each day. One step at a time.

[Worrywart1234]

My psychologist told me that people with health anxiety are like a truck working on 3 instead of 4 cylinders....they look the same as everyone else when on a flat road, but the moment thinks get bumpy or they try to drive up a hill they start to fall apart. For me, this is true. It’s actually quite amazing - my HA was started by an unexpected health crisis, but now, anytime I am in a very stressful situation and feel pressurised or have a fight with my husband etc my mind instantly starts to think of worries....I think I have cancer etc Now that i’m More aware of it, I try to stop and think about what i’m actually stressed about and try to dismiss the health worries as my faulty fourth cylinder...I wouldn’t wish health anxiety on my worst enemy.

[Double_Rainbow]

I agree with everything said here, including not allowing myself to get too happy and the faulty 4th cylinder. To me, everyday life with HA and A in general feels like balancing on a skinny rope. While everything is completely still I'm okay, but as soon as there is even a slightest wind I am loosing my balance, and from time to time I fall (like right now). I am putting my best fight and I still end up falling 2-3 times a year. This is tough.